I'm with ya costumeczarina! You know the sad thing? I know adults that were indulged children and they wish their parents hadn't done that or been their "friend". They said they just weren't prepared for the real word and just don't know how to handle real life situations. They are actually depressed because of their lack of reality. I feel so bad for htese people I know, cause it's just not their fault and it's just not that easy for them to "get over it".
I blame TV. Most TV shows for kids (think Disney channel and Nickelodeon) show the kids as smart alecs around bumbling adults. Also, parents use TV/video games, etc as baby-sitters. Lots of parents spoil their kids, indulge them and give into them because it is easier, they are tired from working and busy, they can't be bothered to parent. Also, many kids are in daycare. Some parents feel guilty about this, whether they realize it or not, and try to make up for it by being indulgent. Also, daycares are a business, so they cater to the whims and wishes of the parents and to a certain extent the kids. This sets up an expectation that the rest of the world will treat the kids the same way.
I understand that most women these days have to work, whether they'd prefer to be stay-at-home moms or not, and that many women are raising their kids with little or no support from the fathers, but when children are being raised primarily by day cares, it makes the amount of time spent with the parent that much more important for the parent to role model and teach and parent, and many parents are just overwhelmed and tired and either won't or can't.
I don't know if this is universally true, maybe in certain cases. I had one friend who's a SAHM and her kids are the worst behaved I've ever seen. Her son was, at one point, standing on my dining room table swinging the chandelier back and forth, and she very weakly told him to stop it. That's it! I picked him up and put him on the ground, but she wouldn't do it. Dang!
I think that it just comes down to parents who are inconsistent, and who want their kids to be happy all the time, and think that they're there to be friends with their kids. Nobody wants to be the "bad guy." Well, send them to me! I'll take care of them!
Well, nothing is universally true. You're right about parents being inconsistent and wanting their kids to be happy all the time. I'm not sure where that idea came from. Since when is anyone entitled to being happy all the time?
[quote="prterrell
Well, nothing is universally true. You're right about parents being inconsistent and wanting their kids to be happy all the time. I'm not sure where that idea came from. Since when is anyone entitled to being happy all the time?[/quote]
God forbid a child should be unhappy! But a lot of people seem to operate on that principle...
I'm also with you on the tv show thing. I let my kids watch pretty much any cartoons they want, but I've never let them watch any show that features real "actors" (I have to put that in quotations because the kids on those shows really can't act, but that's another story.) All of the shows that are aimed at kids have that sassy-mouth attitude, so I don't need to hear any of that.
I blame TV. Most TV shows for kids (think Disney channel and Nickelodeon) show the kids as smart alecs around bumbling adults. Also, parents use TV/video games, etc as baby-sitters. Lots of parents spoil their kids, indulge them and give into them because it is easier, they are tired from working and busy, they can't be bothered to parent. Also, many kids are in daycare. Some parents feel guilty about this, whether they realize it or not, and try to make up for it by being indulgent. Also, daycares are a business, so they cater to the whims and wishes of the parents and to a certain extent the kids. This sets up an expectation that the rest of the world will treat the kids the same way.
I understand that most women these days have to work, whether they'd prefer to be stay-at-home moms or not, and that many women are raising their kids with little or no support from the fathers, but when children are being raised primarily by day cares, it makes the amount of time spent with the parent that much more important for the parent to role model and teach and parent, and many parents are just overwhelmed and tired and either won't or can't.
I don't know if this is universally true, maybe in certain cases. I had one friend who's a SAHM and her kids are the worst behaved I've ever seen. Her son was, at one point, standing on my dining room table swinging the chandelier back and forth, and she very weakly told him to stop it. That's it! I picked him up and put him on the ground, but she wouldn't do it. Dang!
I think that it just comes down to parents who are inconsistent, and who want their kids to be happy all the time, and think that they're there to be friends with their kids. Nobody wants to be the "bad guy." Well, send them to me! I'll take care of them!
Well, nothing is universally true. You're right about parents being inconsistent and wanting their kids to be happy all the time. I'm not sure where that idea came from. Since when is anyone entitled to being happy all the time?
I'm currently reading a book called "Children at Promise" by Timothy Stuart & cheryl Bostrom. It talks about how parents & society have been conditioned to believe that protecting children from adversity should be the priority. The authors content that this is unrealistic because eventually either as children or adults we will all have to deal with challenges and disappointments. Instead the authors say that parents should prepare children for adversity by building trusting relationships with them and teaching to live with values like responsibility,integrity, etc. Very eye opening read. As Oprah says, I have many "aha moments" with this book.
And yes, I agree parents need to take responsibility for their children's behavior. I was at a party where a 5 year old was out of control rude. Grabbing and poking and spitting and ugh - just ugly behavior. I thought he was there alone. I was shocked and angry to find out his mother was there the whole time and she never, not once, stepped in to stop his behavior, even at it's worst.
I totaly agree with the whole TV thing I stopped letting DD stop watching Rug Rats after one of the characters said that they were going to divorce their parents because they didnt get their way!!! What?????? hello who in the world would come up with that and think its funny? I was outraged by that. DD has a viedo game system but she tell everybody that she would rather be outside or reading a good boo as to playing that stupid thing she uses it for dvd's.
As for the kids this week they cant wait to see Mrs Kristi and Cheyenne they love the fact that we play with them and pay attention to them. Even if we did correct them when they were acting up!
Parents need to wake up and see what they are doing to their kids.... Not everybody can be the smartest, prettiest, or most athletic. Life is full of dissappointments and they need to learn early in life like most of us had to that you have to get up ,dust yourself off and just keep trying. Failure makes you stonger. Besides when these overprivaliged brats get to be adults and we are seniors guess what they will be caring for us YIKES !!
Here ya go 
http://law.rightpundits.com/?p=788
Mike
Parents need to wake up and see what they are doing to their kids....Life is full of dissappointments and they need to learn early in life like most of us had to that you have to get up ,dust yourself off and just keep trying. Failure makes you stonger.
Can't remember where I read it but along these same lines I read that parents who are "proud' that they "....NEVER fight in front of the kids" are also doing their kids a disservice. Kids need to see that adults have disagreements AND how those are resolved. Kids who think that mommy and daddy never fought ... they grow up, get married, and when they have the NORMAL disagrements that every marriage has, they burst into tears and think they are a failure because (a) they didn't learn that couples fight and disagree (b) they didn't learn how to DEAL with those issues.
Rest assured, MY kids didn't grow up with the disillusionment! 
This topic just gets me going.
My mother had a rule she borrowed from Jackie Kennedy. You must eat a spoonful of whatever is dinner.
There will be no discussion, If you don't like it, you don't have to eat anymore.
The next time it's served, it will be 2 spoonfuls and you will eat it. I don't know if Mrs. K said that, It's just the way it worked in my house.
I actually had to impose that rule in my house about 15 yrs ago. The kid finally said, may I taste. She tried everything, because she knew if she really didn't like it, no one was going to have a hissy.
Last Thanksgiving, I did a huge dinner and had one of those kids, that you want to slap upside the head. He didn't get his McDonalds burger. This kid was literally 100lbs over weight, he insulted his mother because she made a cheesecake. She cowed. Which by the way was fabulous.
I have saying and most aren't going to like it. Children and puppies are the same, you have to show them who's the boss from the beginning. If you don't, you will be picking up poop and hitting the drive thru for McDonalds for the rest of your life.
Can't remember where I read it but along these same lines I read that parents who are "proud' that they "....NEVER fight in front of the kids" are also doing their kids a disservice. Kids need to see that adults have disagreements AND how those are resolved. Kids who think that mommy and daddy never fought ... they grow up, get married, and when they have the NORMAL disagrements that every marriage has, they burst into tears and think they are a failure because (a) they didn't learn that couples fight and disagree (b) they didn't learn how to DEAL with those issues.
I believe this is absolutely correct. Imagine my surprise at the age of ten when I was told my parents were getting a divorce, when I had never heard them fight once in my life. It took me several years of being married to realize that just because my husband & I were having an argument did NOT mean that he wanted to leave me. Sorry to hijack.
Shelle, I'm glad you popped in and shared that.
My husband and I will have our argument, but when it's over, it's over. So when my daughter got married, she thought that's how it worked. Her husband grew up with parents who had their argument and then stay mad for 3 days.
Daughter would be confused when 3 hours after their argument, he'd still be acting all mad! 
SHe's thinking, "What? We HAD the fight. We're done. WHat's wrong NOW?" 
He finally came around but it was kinda funny to watch THEIR transition into married life and married arguing!
I have a SIL like that. Her daughter is in my dd's class, and she saw the knapsack I bought, and she said "oh, i guess I'll have to get that for Suri, too. She's gonna want one." We were a bunch of women sitting together, and everyone was, like, "huh?". I also have a policy that even if one of my kids want something very badly, and other ppl tell me that it's not a big deal, you have time to fight with her over this when she's bigger, and I say she has to learn it at one time or another, and the younger you teach them these lessons, the easier it is for you and for them.
My 19 month old son talks maybe 10 or 15 words, his newest one is "I want", while pointing at anything. I am working very hard to teach him "please" just cause I hate when kids say I want, usually when they're older, but it bothers me. he says his version of thank you already!
Shelle, I'm glad you popped in and shared that.
My husband and I will have our argument, but when it's over, it's over. So when my daughter got married, she thought that's how it worked. Her husband grew up with parents who had their argument and then stay mad for 3 days.
Daughter would be confused when 3 hours after their argument, he'd still be acting all mad!
SHe's thinking, "What? We HAD the fight. We're done. WHat's wrong NOW?" He finally came around but it was kinda funny to watch THEIR transition into married life and married arguing!
That is so crazy to hear. I am the same way. We argue, we say what we had to say,what's next? My ex-husbnad would literally sit on the couch and pout. He would just stay mad. Did not get it at all. Needless to say, that is one of the main reasons why he is me EX!
Yeah My DH tends to pout after our arguments too. I just let him pout and have his mad fit sooner or later its going to sink in that he is behaving like an a#@ and will apologize. I figure its his blood pressure not mine. Besides I have no sympathy for STUPID!!! I love him but he is gonna have to realize that life isnt all sunshine and roses.... diffent opions is what makes us human we can get mad at each other but still love each other.Dose that make sence?
My company returned home and their mom e-mailed me to ask me if after having her boys there was I still ready to have more kids I sooooooo wanted to say yes because mine will have manners but I was nice and just left it at yes. 
I teach in the primary grades. Children that are not getting manners training at home are sure getting it now. Not just from me but from all the faculty. This is true in the last district I worked also.
Please and thank you are not an option. At lunch they will use their napkins. They will not speak with food in their mouths. They are being taught to have social conversations during their meals.
On a side note, this is important enough to many of the teachers, that we do not take our "lunch break" in the teachers room. We eat in the lunchroom with our classes to model correct behavior.
My own children went through the starving child stage. I now have children that eat just about anything. From venison to salmon to filet mignon. (not that we have filet mignon at the house anymore )
I have a couple of nephews who ate little more than macaroni and cheese until they were nearly teenagers. It was ridiculous. One time at grandmas, grandma was making a nice dinner of roast, mashed potatoes, green beans, etc. and they actually held their little noses and told her it was "stinky dinner".
I guess I fell into the "mean mom" category (or was I just lazy?) because no way was I going to cook one dinner for the kids and another dinner for DH and me. My kids ate what I cooked; they had no options. They're all big strapping six foot plus men now, so I guess my making them eat regular food didn't hurt them any.
Good for you Pookie59
I have a sign on my kitchen door that reads Menu: What the cook fixes !!
My DD came up with that one and she should know that is 100% true "mean mom"or not I work 8-12 hours a day so when I get home and start cooking then you will eat what I fix or do without and that is that!!
My DD is now 14 and loves to try new things she is always after me to make Indian food that is one of her faves but she is a big veggie eater and will try anything I make no questions asked....
I have a 2 year old that I encourage and let her try anything that's on my plate. I am very blessed that she isn't picky or hasn't reached that picky phase.
My friends, oy, are a different story. Picky children I get, its not entirely their fault that they weren't taught to be adventurous... but Picky Adults--ugh. One friend orders chicken nuggets everwhere. She' 36. And of course her child is the same way. I had fixed fried rice at one point and her son said "ew, that looks like maggots" and of course I knew where that came from... exact words from his mom's mouth. it makes me so angry. My girlfriends and I had an email going around because we were planning a girls night out and deciding on where to eat, and of course we're limited because this person won't go anywhere if they don't serve some dumb chicken nuggets!!! GRRRRR
My girlfriends and I had an email going around because we were planning a girls night out and deciding on where to eat, and of course we're limited because this person won't go anywhere if they don't serve some dumb chicken nuggets!!! GRRRRR
Oh Bro-THER!!! Tell this is the BIG girls night out! No juice boxes allowed!
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