Invited To The Wedding??

Decorating By sweetcakes Updated 19 Aug 2009 , 4:00pm by cutthecake

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sweetcakes Posted 19 Aug 2009 , 3:34am
post #1 of 13

i had a bride and her mum come for a consult about 5 months ago, they paid the deposit and booked the date for me to do their cake. There final payment is not due for another 3 weeks, but i have recieved an invite addressed to myself and DH to attend the wedding and reception. I dont even know them, only met them for the 1hr we were meeting. Im just not sure why i got it. i am delivering it about 1hr away and there are items that will need to be returned. perhaps they're thinking is if i stay i can just take my stuff at the end of the night and perhaps i will serve the cake for them. i need to rsvp. how often do you get invite??? im just not sure wht to do.

12 replies
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goddessa12 Posted 19 Aug 2009 , 3:44am
post #2 of 13

I've never gotten an invite, but I would think that unless you want to be their cake slave for the night that maybe it would be best not to go. You will be expected to cut/serve the cake or who knows what else.
Just MHO of course icon_smile.gif

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__Jamie__ Posted 19 Aug 2009 , 3:45am
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Uhhhhh, never? You said you need to RSVP...who said you need to RSVP??? That is totally weird. I would drop them a friendly email inquiring as to whether they needed a server/cake cutter for their reception? If so, there will be a $XX amount added to remainder of deposit. Huh. They might be doing exactly that.

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BlakesCakes Posted 19 Aug 2009 , 3:53am
post #4 of 13

I think it's pretty unusual to receive an invite, but your reasoning behind why you got one is pretty sound.

That said, I'm not sure that it's fair to you or "right".

I can see it as a means to avoid a cake cutting fee and setting you up to feel guilty if you ask for payment for such a service--as you certainly should if do cut the cake.
I can see it as a way to make it easier/cheaper for them by not having to return a cake stand or other parts.
I can see it being justified by saying that it gives you the option for a meal after an hours drive....

But, a wedding invitation brings with it a lot of responsibilities that include:
needing to dress up, buying the couple a gift & socializing with other guests--whom you don't even know.

Obviously, it's up to you, but it wouldn't be my idea of a comfortable situation.

I'd politely decline, I wouldn't offer to serve the cake unless being paid a reasonable hourly wage + travel costs, if I didn't serve the cake I'd reiterate their responsibility to return my items to me in a timely manner (or they'd lose their deposit), and------I wouldn't be giving a wedding gift.

Just my honest opinions.

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CakeMakar Posted 19 Aug 2009 , 3:56am
post #5 of 13

Does it have an open bar?! What's for dinner?! Do you have a household item you could regift?

I'm just kidding, of course.

What an odd predicament. I wouldn't want to go to a wedding of someone I didn't know.

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ccr03 Posted 19 Aug 2009 , 4:08am
post #6 of 13

For me it's not 100% odd. I've had people tell me, so be sure to come by later or even give me an invite. Given some of these cases have been with the church group I volunteer with (and no, we are not close church 'family').

I actually think it is very common within the Hispanic community that I am a part of to have the couple invite the vendors. It's not that big of a deal.

Also, what's strange about RSVPing? I've done that to the American weddings I've been invited to.

I would just decline and go about your business. No biggie.

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__Jamie__ Posted 19 Aug 2009 , 4:11am
post #7 of 13

RSVPing to an unsolicited invitation is not something I would really concern myself with responding to. Not the act of RSVPing as a general response to an invite itself, as in something expected or appropriate to receive an invite to.

And heck, if ya have to drive an hour each way, might as well stick around if you're getting fed and "watered" the whole time. I dunno. I guess maybe I'd consider it if I didn't have anything else going on. Kinda like Wedding Crashers...but not. icon_biggrin.gif

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marmalade1687 Posted 19 Aug 2009 , 11:44am
post #8 of 13

I was invited to a wedding once - they invited me the afternoon I was delivering the cake, so I really didn't feel that it was serious.

Just me, but I would rather order in and eat at home in my jammies, and watch the Wedding Crashers on DVD than have to sit at a table with people that I don't know, even if free food and drink are involved! icon_lol.gif

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indydebi Posted 19 Aug 2009 , 12:18pm
post #9 of 13

I've had a few invites from my brides, and I just tell them that my day is so busy, as much as I'd love to, I can't. I just make it a practice to draw a clear line .... I'm the "hired help" that day.

Responding to an invite (RSVP) is polite and proper. I think all invites are "unsolicited" and it's just proper form and etiquette to respond with a polite "unable to attend".

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costumeczar Posted 19 Aug 2009 , 12:22pm
post #10 of 13

I've been invited to go to receptions too, but I just say no thanks, or RSVP no in this cake. Some people invite all their vendors, for whatever reason. Doesn't mean you have to go, it's an invitation, not a command!

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nhbaker Posted 19 Aug 2009 , 12:34pm
post #11 of 13

Is she sending it out of "courteousy"?. I know the nicer weddings that I've delivered cakes to have a "vendors table" set up so that the photographer, DJ/Band, etc. can sit and have dinner too. -- Though I've never been invited to stay as the cake vendor, that may be what she's doing with you. Personally, I would be really uncomfortable attending a wedding/reception where I didn't know anyone personally -- especially the bride & groom! --- Although a free meal for all my hard work would be nice!!

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tarheelgirl Posted 19 Aug 2009 , 12:35pm
post #12 of 13

I have been invited to weddings before. I felt the same way too.. maybe they needed someone to cut the cake and it sure wasn't going to be me! =) I have basically said the same as what IndyDebi. My day is pretty busy but thanks for the invite.

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cutthecake Posted 19 Aug 2009 , 4:00pm
post #13 of 13

RSVP? Definitely. They need a head count.
Invitation? They just might be doing a nice thing. I wouldn't read anything into it.

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