"His things" ? You're kidding right? It's not as though anyone has top secret stuff. Who does that? If you are that close and things are going well and going to take the next step then I am sorry but "his things" are our things-my things .And 'my things' are our things-his things too! Any time you need secret stuff that is a huge red flag to me. Theres nothing to hide or at least there shouldn't ever EVER be. If there is something to hide or keep secret, well then, "Houston, We have a problem!"
Now from a guy's point of view. If I was totally happy, and ready to take the next step, BUT had some lil nagging things sitting out there. What if he put the email out there to see if you WOULD read it? To see if he could trust you not to go through his things.
Mike
Then I would steer clear of a man that thought he needed to "test" his wimmen' first.
"His things" ? You're kidding right? It's not as though anyone has top secret stuff. Who does that? If you are that close and things are going well and going to take the next step then I am sorry but "his things" are our things-my things .And 'my things' are our things-his things too! Any time you need secret stuff that is a huge red flag to me. Theres nothing to hide or at least there shouldn't ever EVER be. If there is something to hide or keep secret, well then, "Houston, We have a problem!"
My husband and I have been married 12 years and he has stuff I'm not supposed to look at...sheets of alarm codes for his work for example...and he has stuff he'd rather I didn't look at, like drawings he's working on. He has a whole file cabinet that I don't go into. I'm not locked out of it, it's just his. He doesn't go into my storage tubs and I don't go through his file cabinet. Sometimes I write and I don't like for him to look at my writing notebook when I'm not done with a story. Neither of us is doing bad stuff...it's just too crowded living in each other's pockets for as many years as we've been together so we give each other a little space. We've actually talked about how we wish we each had our own room to keep our stuff in...not separate bedrooms but just a hobby room for each of us 
So I can understand the concept of "his stuff"
Of course if I thought my husband was cheating or considering it, I wouldn't have any problem going through his stuff 
I get where you are coming from Texas Rose. I'd rather my hubby stay out of my cake stuff and a few other things just because he may not handle or place things back nicely which might render them unusable again. And that's just a diplomatic way for saying stay out so you don't break it you big galloof! hehe We just celebrated our 13th Annivarsary in May and I know about personal space and staying out of stuff. That being said if I needed something that he'd rather I not mess with or he needs something I'd rather him not mess with it's not off limits so to speak. It's not secret stuff that you have to stay out of. There is a huge difference. Thats what I was talking about.
I can't remember totally, but I do believe she said they have been dating for 3 months, that is not the same thing as living together or being married.
At 3 months in a relationship, then yes I would want a guy to respect my privacy as well as me respecting his. While it is great to have everything about you out in the open, there is a point where I want to know that if I have something I'm not comfortable telling the world then I want to know that can be kept in it's place.
I often use my friend as a sounding board. So if I was having a personal issue I wasn't quite ready to tell a guy that I'd only been dating 3 months, I'd still like to know that I could jet off an email to my best friend of 13 years to discuss it with, with out feeling like I have to give my bf all my passwords to my computer for him to read it too.
Three months is still young for a relationship. And there are some personal things about myself I may not want to tell a guy that may not be around at the 6 month mark.
If I am not living with a guy, and have only been dating him for a few months I wouldn't want him to walk into my house and check me messages on my answering machine or start going through my nightstand or read my journal I may have left laying out on the coffee table. And I would do my best to give him the same respect.
I think even in a marriage you should have trust that your spouse isn't doing anything that they shouldn't but does that mean you have to give up your rights to all privacy? If I have to sign over my rights to any privacy at all, then I'm thinking I'll just have to stay unmarried.
If someone in a relationship thought the other person was doing something they shouldn't be doing, then I'd hope they would be mature enough to just discuss it with out digging around for proof. If not, then that isn't a relationship I don't want to be in.
Mike, you know that has crossed my mind too. But if he purposely set that stage I'm wondering if the conversation they had last night would have gone that easily. Wouldn't he have then questioned why she was asking to get her to admit she read it?
I can read this situation several different ways. I've been around all kinds of guys and can see this all going different ways for different reason. It is hard to tell if he left the email up on purpose or by accident. But either way, if he or her have a trust issue they still need to discuss it.
OMG Texas Rose...your website cracks me up!
Fat Mama's gotcho cookie right here!!!
Such a cute site! 
Well...I'm more likely to keep caking than I am to lose weight...and no one is gonna steal a photo with Fat Mama's slapped across it. If I ever get my act together enought to open a bakery, that's probably the name I'll use for it.
About the idea that the boyfriend was testing her...I had a boyfriend when I was very young who actually told me he had cheated with someone...and when I dumped him, he told me he had just made up the story to see if I cared enough to be jealous. It was the kind of stupid thing he would do and I believed him...but by that point I had gotten even with him with the male ex-stripper coworker I had 
That relationship taught me how stupid it is to play games with someone, and when I met my husband a little while after that, I had already gotten all that childish stuff out of my system.
Sometimes guys do try to sound macho to their friends...my husband jokes with his coworkers in ways that I don't especially care for...but to be fair, back when I still worked my lady coworkers and I would talk about our customers in ways that my hubby probably wouldn't have thought was funny (especially the firefighters...yum! we used to line up at the window to watch them gas up the firetruck!!!). I wasn't going to try to get some firefighter bootie...it was just a way of bonding with the coworkers.
Sometimes guys do try to sound macho to their friends...my husband jokes with his coworkers in ways that I don't especially care for...but to be fair, back when I still worked my lady coworkers and I would talk about our customers in ways that my hubby probably wouldn't have thought was funny (especially the firefighters...yum! we used to line up at the window to watch them gas up the firetruck!!!). I wasn't going to try to get some firefighter bootie...it was just a way of bonding with the coworkers.
You know I'm having a hard time buying the trying to sound macho stuff. If he was trying to sound good to his friend wouldn't he have gone for something that would have really 'earned' him points. I mean really wouldn't it be more macho to say, "Yeah, I banged that girl we ran into the other night," instead of "Oh I'm thinking of asking her out."
What a way to start dating after being divorced and single for two years huh?! Just my luck...
Girly-here is a bit of tough love. From your previous posts you had a doozy of an ex husband who borderline abuses your daughter. So the thing is that if you even have to question for one moment to get rid of this new jerk who wants to cheat on you, then you are not ready to date. This should be the biggest brightest red flag you have ever seen, and it should not make you hesitate.
Also, you would not have read his email in the first place if you trusted him.
So what I mean by this is that you should take some time to figure your stuff out, heal from your marriage before you try to get into a serious relationship with someone. If you are broken, if will not work. You need to be whole and healed.
I don't mean that to offend, but taking it slow until you have more confidence with relationships with be good for your daughter and you.
My husband and I have some separate emails and facebook accounts. I trust my DH 100% and have snooped on his email...with him knowing. It was actually for a reason, but he freely gives up his password, as do I. Why this is important is that we have some separate things but we also have trust in each other.
It sounds like you need to take the step back and determine if this is working for you, not if its working for him.
Good luck, relationships are hard!
So what I mean by this is that you should take some time to figure your stuff out, heal from your marriage before you try to get into a serious relationship with someone. If you are broken, if will not work. You need to be whole and healed.
I don't mean that to offend, but taking it slow until you have more confidence with relationships with be good for your daughter and you.
Also as a girl on the dating market, you are gonna run across a lot more losers than good guys. I can count the good guys I know on one hand and have run out of fingers and toes for the losers that needed to go.
I know they are out there, they are just harder to find, because chances the good guys have been hurt to and are a little more gun shy when it comes to relationships.
This is what I would tell him, "I'm sorry but I've read your emails. Please be honest to me and tell me the truth".
Be calm, don't get mad. I personally wouldn't want this to slip through. To build trust, you have to be honest as well. Tell him what you feel. Tell him that it hurts. If he leaves you because you read his email, then just face it -- the truth hurts.
I've had girlfriends, met their family and finally left them. I realized I can't imagine life living with a woman (I'm half of a woman). Years has passed, met some a**holes and here I am ending up with my soon-to-be-husband. He is everything.
I wish you luck.
This is what I would tell him, "I'm sorry but I've read your emails. Please be honest to me and tell me the truth".
Be calm, don't get mad. I personally wouldn't want this to slip through. To build trust, you have to be honest as well. Tell him what you feel. Tell him that it hurts. If he leaves you because you read his email, then just face it -- the truth hurts.
I've had girlfriends, met their family and finally left them. I realized I can't imagine life living with a woman (I'm half of a woman). Years has passed, met some a**holes and here I am ending up with my soon-to-be-husband. He is everything.
I wish you luck.
Yep-excellent advice.
Now from a guy's point of view. If I was totally happy, and ready to take the next step, BUT had some lil nagging things sitting out there. What if he put the email out there to see if you WOULD read it? To see if he could trust you not to go through his things.
Mike
If it was a test than she's better off failing it.
Maybe it's something that a man might think of but it would be wiser to just wait for a while to take that next step if he has doubts.
It was wrong to snoop in his email but she might end up being glad that she did.
You want a guy that is crazy about you willing to move mountains and cross streams to get to you. Not some wishywashy boy who is speculating on maybe he should ask someone else out. PPFFTT! You deserve better. If he is playing a game, it's a dumb one. If he is serious, you will still be better off without him. Cut your losses and see him as your rebound after your divorce.
Well he broke up with me tonight.. So I guess that solves that..
Awww....I'm sorry. The mom in me wants to point out to you that now the way is clear for you to find a real man to love and appreciate you...but I know it still hurts.
He claims he wasn't having any fun... Our kids didn't get along (not true).. and he thinks I changed my discipline on my daughter because of him (not true).
I just came out and said so really what's her name..? He claims there was no one else. I told him at that we are done and I have nothing else to say.
I think you knew in the very pit of your stomach that something wasn't right. It will be OK and you will eventually meet someone amazing!
Get this.. got to learn how childish he was too.. Went out with my girlfriends last night to cheer me up.. The moron pulls in the parking lot sees me and leaves..
But better news my sister tried to play match maker with me last night too and now I might have a new guy in the picture. He called me last night after we left and said he would be calling me because he's very interested.. there might be hope after all
All I've got to say about that is make him work for it. Don't be too eager for a man in the picture. The last guy seemed to think that you lost too much of your identity in order to be with him-so make sure you keep a sense of who you are and show him how great you are! Make him chase you a bit.
Get this.. got to learn how childish he was too.. Went out with my girlfriends last night to cheer me up.. The moron pulls in the parking lot sees me and leaves..
But better news my sister tried to play match maker with me last night too and now I might have a new guy in the picture. He called me last night after we left and said he would be calling me because he's very interested..
there might be hope after all
Yeah, from your description of things, he struck me as one of those cowards who is too immature to face you. That would explain why he left his email open for you to read.
Give the guy your sis wants to set you up with a chance! Sometimes the people around us know what kind of guys are best for us more than we do ourselves. I married my 1st and only blind date. We've been together for 14 yrs. now and I never would have picked him on my own. Never. I sure would have missed out! 
Please, please be careful about the people you bring into your child's life. I had my son at 19 so as I was going through my youthful relationships he was introduced to several guys that are no longer in the picture. I feel like I have already burdened him with his fair share of "mommy's boyfriends" and now that I am 30 it is much more difficult to date the "real" guys. Just don't waste your chances on the ones who aren't possibly "the one".
Quote by @%username% on %date%
%body%