Is It In Poor Taste?

Baking By GeminiRJ Updated 19 Apr 2009 , 1:42am by luv2bake6

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GeminiRJ Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 12:51pm
post #1 of 85

My boss's FIL recently passed away. We're a fairly small company going thru some difficult financial times right now. The employees normally would take up a collection and send a condolence gift, but it's going to be hard coming up with much money. I offered to make a cookie bouquet or some decorated cookies we could place in a basket with some fruit. Our secretary looked at me like I was crazy. She didn't think it was appropriate to give decorated cookies for this occasion. I thought, well, you send real flowers...what's wrong with flower cookies? Your thoughts?

84 replies
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Kiddiekakes Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 12:52pm
post #2 of 85

I don't think it is tacky at all!! I mean it is more personal to me than some flowers that will die in a day or so....I think it is a wonderful idea!! You go girl!!

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countygirl28 Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 1:19pm
post #3 of 85

I think it's a great idea! It's definately more personal than just calling a florist and placing an order. You have to put your own personal time, effort, and touch on a cookie bouquet! I say go for it!

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GeminiRJ Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 1:26pm
post #4 of 85

I have a couple days to sway the secretary's opinion, as the boss won't be back in town until Thursday. I know his kids really like my cookies, and it's not like I was going to put smiley faces on the flowers. I have a pattern for a sun with a rainbow and clouds that I thought would make nice cookies. I could write on the cloud portion things that help you get thru times like this (like "Family", "Hope", "Faith", "Love"). I was thinking of filling in with a bunch of yellow tulip cookies. I don't think it would be tacky...do you?

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Kiddiekakes Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 1:27pm
post #5 of 85

nope..You have my vote here!!!

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michellesArt Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 1:30pm
post #6 of 85

i think that's a wonderful way to show your support and thoughts-and from you how could you get more personal? of course it's not typical but honestly i think it would mean more to the family

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CookieMeister Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 2:06pm
post #7 of 85

Is it conventional? No!

Is it tacky? Only if you're making cookies designed to look like coffins or skeletons.

Smack the secretary and tell her to get with the program.

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GeminiRJ Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 2:09pm
post #8 of 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by CakeMeister

Is it conventional? No!

Is it tacky? Only if you're making cookies designed to look like coffins or skeletons.

Smack the secretary and tell her to get with the program.




LOL. Actually, our dark humor surfaced the other day when we were talking about this. The skeletons and coffins really did get mentioned (as inappropriate, of course. After we brainstormed on such things).

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countygirl28 Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 2:10pm
post #9 of 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by CakeMeister



Smack the secretary and tell her to get with the program.




thumbs_up.gificon_lol.gif

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kjt Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 2:16pm
post #10 of 85

I think it's a really nice and thoughtful idea...so much more so than just flowers.

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bbmom Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 2:17pm
post #11 of 85

I think its a lovely idea. People send food all the time as condolence gifts and there's gonna be a whole bunch of wilting flowers all over the place in a day or too. Yours can be enjoyed and then eaten. Nothing more dismal than throwing away dead funeral flowers.

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3GCakes Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 2:17pm
post #12 of 85

I think the cookies are a great idea too. Have you ever smelled flowers when it was not a funeral? What do you think of? A funeral!!

Maybe the secretary feels the "bouquet" part is too celebratory, and would do better with just a nice assortment in a pretty box?

I still think either way it's a great idea and very thoughtful.

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bethola Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 2:18pm
post #13 of 85

Well, I don't know where you live, BUT, here in the SOUTH we cook and send food when someone dies. Uhhh, never have had someone tell me it was tacky! Cookies are BAKING.....NOPE not tacky! In fact, I think your idea for the design is lovely. Bake away girl! They will appreciate your kindness.

Oh and you might tell the secretary....stay away from Western Kentucky 'cause the G.R.I.T.S. might just "git 'er"! LOL

Definition: Girls Raised In the South.

Beth in KY

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miss_sweetstory Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 2:19pm
post #14 of 85

I think it's very thoughtful of you. Not tacky.

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CookieMeister Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 2:22pm
post #15 of 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by countygirl28

Quote:
Originally Posted by CakeMeister



Smack the secretary and tell her to get with the program.



thumbs_up.gificon_lol.gif




Sometimes, it is difficult to hide the fact that I work in Human Resources. I have to do this type of thing with my employees often. icon_biggrin.gif

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Melvira Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 2:24pm
post #16 of 85

Hmmm... pretty flower... or pretty flower I can eat. Let me think... nope, don't have to! That's a no brainer for sure!

Of course the cookies would be a lovely gesture! Especially since you said he has kids that like your cookies. If I'm sad I'd rather have a basket of cookies to console me than some flowers or a card. Especially if they're pretty and delish. Hands down, no contest. And knowing how gorgeous you'll make them makes it even more irresistable. thumbs_up.gif

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RiLinNa Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 2:29pm
post #17 of 85

I have to say that we have recently had a death in the family. My MIL passed away unexpectedly in February and we did get a TON of food. One of the better things we had gotten was snacks that the kids and family members that were in could grab between meals to hold them over. There was so much chaos going on that we had little time to think about those little things.

I dont think the cookie bouquet is inappropriate at all! I think its heart felt and caring. We wanted to mourn sure but we also wanted happy thoughts in those times as well.

I say do your thing...and God Bless you for your gift! thumbs_up.gif

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Twopeasinapod Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 2:30pm
post #18 of 85

My granny passed away recently and I was her caretaker so needless to say I was very close to her. I would not have thought any thing about receiving cookies. Actually because I also have children, I would have thought, "Wow, this person really took my family into consideration and did something for US!" I aslo know that my children would have welcomed some delicious cookies during that time!

You do it and be proud of it!!! thumbs_up.gif

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djs328 Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 2:30pm
post #19 of 85

Ok, people send flowers ALL the time....they wither and die....and it's a mess to clean up...THEN, smart people send FOOD....smarter people send GOOD food that is yummy and can make people smile a little in tough times....SEND the cookies!! Who doesn't love some good cookies? Seriously?!? Do it! icon_smile.gif
JMO!

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brincess_b Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 2:31pm
post #20 of 85

it might not be the best policy for my waist, but cake solves all lifes problems. its certainly what i turn to! anyoen who has tasted/ seen your cookies is bound to go for that idea.
xx

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KHalstead Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 2:31pm
post #21 of 85

I can tell you from personal experience, several years ago I had a child that was stillborn and we received a LOT of flowers, cards, etc. along with packages of cookies, crackers, and other food items.......I can tell you those cookies,crackers,etc. were all we ate for weeks because we were so sad and mourned sooooo much that it wasn't in me or my husband to prepare any food for ourselves......honestly, if it wasn't for the food items that were sent we probably would NOT have eaten. Not to say that cookies are nutritious....but I definitely don't think they're in poor taste and I definitely think they will be appreciated!!! I also agree with above posters in that it seems MUCH more personal to prepare something for something than it does to just go buy it!

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Bluehue Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 2:32pm
post #22 of 85

Aweeee what a heartfelt gesture - i think it is such a lovely personnel touch icon_smile.gif

*pfft* perhaps the sec is just *a bit stale in her thinking department*

If she still isn't for the cookies - just do it and send it from you and the staff and not say anything to her.

Some people just stay stuck in the last century and don't bother to *think outside their own little square*

Bh. icon_smile.gif

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Shannie13 Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 2:33pm
post #23 of 85

When I read this I thought what an amazing idea. Our family makes food too as well as sending flowers and such. I think the next time someone passes away I might just take your idea and roll with it.

I hope he appreciates the thought!

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GeminiRJ Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 2:38pm
post #24 of 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by bethola

Well, I don't know where you live, BUT, here in the SOUTH we cook and send food when someone dies. Uhhh, never have had someone tell me it was tacky! Cookies are BAKING.....NOPE not tacky! In fact, I think your idea for the design is lovely. Bake away girl! They will appreciate your kindness.

Oh and you might tell the secretary....stay away from Western Kentucky 'cause the G.R.I.T.S. might just "git 'er"! LOL

Definition: Girls Raised In the South.

Beth in KY




I like that, G.R.I.T.S.!

It wasn't the food part that bothered the secretary. She just thought that it was too solemn an occasion for decorated cookies. She was leaning towards a fruit basket. Problem is, with so few employees there isn't going to be enough money to buy anything nice. Hence, the cookie idea.

When my FIL died suddenly, there was more food brought to the house than could be eaten. Whenever my MIL answered the phone and someone said they'd like to stop by, her first words were, "You're not bringing any food are you?" Surprisingly enough, with all that food, there wasn't a single sweet. It was all meat and cheese trays, fruit, and sandwiches. With my boss having little kids, I thought they'd like a few cookies.

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dmhart Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 2:39pm
post #25 of 85

I would make my cookies and send to the family regardless of the secretary. If she would like to do a group thing including your cookies then that is wonderful if not then your bosses family will not have to miss out on your thoughtful gift. thumbs_up.gif

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Melvira Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 2:40pm
post #26 of 85

I have to pipe up and say, I'm not from the south, but I should be. The first thing I think when I hear someone has had a birth/death in the family, has had surgery, in the hospital, etc. is "I gotta make them a casserole!" Then I make up a delicious lasagna or some other thing that I'm pretty well known for, put it in a disposable baking dish, wrap it up well, write the baking directions on the lid and take it to them. They can eat it then or freeze for later. The way I see it, they aren't going to want to do lots of cooking at that point, so this is helpful. Plus, hey, I'm a really good cook. Who doesn't want someone to bring them a really yummy free meal? Hehe icon_lol.gif No one will do that for me because they are too nervous or something, I don't know. But I did that for myself when I had my babies! I spent at least several days making casseroles and meatloaves, etc. freezing them with the instructions on them, then when we got home hubby could just pull something out and throw it in the oven. Easy peasy and I didn't have to be on my feet for hours trying to cook!

Look who's in a babbly mood... sowwy! icon_redface.gif

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GeminiRJ Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 2:59pm
post #27 of 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by Melvira

Then I make up a delicious lasagna or some other thing that I'm pretty well known for, put it in a disposable baking dish, wrap it up well, write the baking directions on the lid and take it to them. icon_redface.gif




Oh, yumm! That sure beats a meat and cheese tray!

KHalstead, so sorry about your baby! I know it's well after the fact, but please accept my condolences.

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CakeDiosa Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 3:07pm
post #28 of 85

Well, "adjust the sails" then and make the cookies!!! Ditto on previous posts about gifts received after a loss. That unexpected pleasantry really helps give a moment of levity during a quite overwhelming time. If she doesn't want them from the "group" then make them from you but definitely go with your gut and send those cookies!!!

muah!

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cakes22 Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 3:12pm
post #29 of 85

I agree with the others, simple & sweet & tasteful (yummy too) is appreciated. Its the thought that counts!!!

I have made food for people who have lost a loved one, new mom's , mom's to be because 'been there, done that', you really don't have the time. Sometimes the thought process to go "hmmm, have I eaten today?" isn't there for whatever reason when eating is usually the last thing on someones mind.

KHalstead, sorry for your loss.

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JGMB Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 3:15pm
post #30 of 85

This reminds me of a funny story that brought some levity to a bad time in my family. When I was in high school, my infant niece died. My best friend brought me over a box of homemade chocolate chip cookies.

She was so nervous, though, about not knowing what to say about my loss, that she sat and ate most of the cookies herself while she was there!!

It was such a lovely gesture on her part, and I still smile when I think about it.

Send the bouquet -- I especially love the idea of writing meaningful words on them. Just make sure THEY get to eat them, not you! (although it makes for a good story) LOL icon_wink.gif

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