Cheap, Cheap, Cheap:::sam's Is Up The Road

Business By cakesbyamym Updated 21 Mar 2009 , 1:20am by LaBellaFlor

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pianocat Posted 13 Mar 2009 , 2:09pm
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It saddens me a bit to see how greedy we have become as a nation. The wedding scene is so completely out of control! I was honored that someone thought enough of me to come to my wedding! I guess it shows my age that I didn't 'register' anywhere either, just accepted what I got (I was asked for a color/style list by my bridal shower hostess). In my area, we do not normally have anyone at the rehearsal dinners except those who are part of the rehearsal, and there are no gifts except to bridal party from B & G.

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juleebug Posted 13 Mar 2009 , 2:25pm
post #92 of 116

ya'lls every hear you might be a redneck if???? I live in cheap redneck country. something about small towns and such. The smaller the cheaper and back woods. I have lived in several states and small towns and big cities. I want to go back to the city, they know what's up.

jlynn, not all small town people are that way. icon_smile.gif

I was raised smack dab in the middle of redneck-ville. I am of the opinion that if you can't pay for it you haven't earned it. I paid for my wedding. I bought my dress at a second hand shop for $25 (no I didn't leave out a zero). It was a "last season" prom dress (tag still attached) in the color platinum. (It was a second marriage for both of us and I had a 4 year old, no need for white.) My BFF did my flowers, bouquets, etc. I bought a white party dress for my daughter ($40 at dept. store) and hand sewed embellishments. I had no rehersal dinner (couldn't afford it) and I made my own cake (up 'til midnight the night before my wedding finishing that sucker!) My family cooked the food for my reception. We received gifts at the reception but I specifically instructed my guests NOT to make major purchases as we had lived together for over a year and had all the big items we needed already. Grand total for one simple but still beautiful wedding - $500. (Again no, I didn't leave out a zero)
It was very cheap and very backwoods but I'm proud to say, no one went hopelessly in debt for our wedding and almost 10 years later, we are still married. icon_biggrin.gif

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chrissypie Posted 13 Mar 2009 , 2:36pm
post #93 of 116

well it is sad but costumeczar is right. I have the same situation with my family. I have been invited to weddings both past and future and my sister asked me how much money we were giving ( in long island, ny you give money at weddings, not gifts, those were all given at the shower!) and if it was not "covering our cost of the meal" she told us it wasn't right. I told her that I was goind to give what I wanted and most importantly, what I could afford to give. It didn't seem right to me that if someone had a wedding that cost $80 a head would get less than someone who has a wedding that is $200 a head. And if someone has a wedding that is $200 a head ( so for the math challenged, LOL! that would be $400 for me and my husband to attend) then they are just SOL if they think I am giving them a $400 dollar check! Or more because $400, according to my sister, would mean they just break even, not make anything! I didn't think that was the point of getting married!! I have now stopped going to weddings. No babysitter is my excuse. Please, I have seen family members say that B&G have some nerve to have their wedding the way they want it because it is inconvenient for them. They never say how nice, they are having the wedding they want, no, it is inconvenient for them, so they shouldn't have it that way. Some people are just sick in the head.

BTW, it seems to me that rehearsal dinners most of time include out of town guests, but I think that is because in our family, there are so few of them. But I know of people who have not invited them. I think people just do whatever they want these days, no protocol.

Crazy, eh? LOL!

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jlynnw Posted 13 Mar 2009 , 2:56pm
post #94 of 116

I am sorry, did not intend to insult small towners. I am proud of you for your wedding. It sounds to me exactly like what a wedding should be. Two people comming together to join as one. It wasn't about the most expensive better than the Jone's event. It was the smartest way for you to start a life together, debt free. The first impression your guests must have had at your "First Party" must have been how thoughtful the hostess was to put together such an event. She thought of the guests and what they would like. A home cooked meal, a beautiful cake, and not all the frufru. And I think is speaks volumes when you say you have been married for 10 years. I have seen bridezillas who can't make it a year because they are not used to being average and not a daily "It's all about Me"

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juleebug Posted 13 Mar 2009 , 4:57pm
post #95 of 116

I wasn't offended in the least. icon_biggrin.gif

I think what we are seeing with these Bridezillas is the unfortuate effect of a generation of parents who failed to teach their children that they should have to EARN and WORK FOR the things they have/want. They are so used to everyone handing them everything on a silver platter that they never learned about hard work or the costs involved with anything.


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cakedoll Posted 13 Mar 2009 , 5:00pm
post #96 of 116

When my middle son got married, I got all of 48 hours notice. icon_eek.gif My son was in a heavy metal band at the time so he had hair down to his waist; the bride was all country and western.

They got married in my living room (packed with about 40 guests; news travels fast in this town). She wore a borrowed short ecru wedding gown, he had a borrowed very modern suit. The groomsmen were all from the band, including his older brother, so that side all looked like a poster from a head banger album. The bridesmaids all showed up in blue jeans, cowboy boots, and sweaters; one even had a cowboy hat on. They looked all set to line dance. It was hysterical...MTV meets HeeHaw!

We did all the food and the cake; no time for decorating though. No big fanfare; the gifts were all small and what the guests wanted to bring.

17 years later, they're still very happily married with 2 daughters. They decided to renew their vows on their 20th anniversary.

I also attended a wedding a couple of years ago where the reception was actually a hog roast complete with a roasting pit dug out on the back 40 and a country/western band. This wedding is a whole 'nother thread complete with 4-wheelers, ATVs, camouflage, homemade moonshine, and a wedding cake that was totally raw in the middle. That one could have been on "My Big Fat Redneck Wedding". icon_lol.gificon_sad.gif

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juleebug Posted 13 Mar 2009 , 5:17pm
post #97 of 116

cakedoll - I can top that!

My BFF calls me up and says "V (her daughter) is getting married this weekend. Will you do her cake?" V happens to be 9 months pregnant, thus the rush. Since this is the same BFF who did ALL my wedding deco (for free) I say "Of course, what kind of stuff does she like?" The response, "Well, she's kind of a hippie."

Three days later, V emerges wearing a 1920's style lace dress, a garland of baby's breath in her hair, BAREFOOT (& pregnant) and marries her groom in my MIL's backyard. Afterwards, we celebrate with a home-cooked meal and a slice of tie-dye wedding cake.

It was one of the sweetest ceremonies I've ever had the privilage of attending.

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cakedoll Posted 13 Mar 2009 , 5:27pm
post #98 of 116


That is too funny. (I LOVE the barefoot and pregnant part) Sounds like a few of the weddings I went to in the late 60's. BTW, my dear DIL in my previous post is from Virginia! She's still a y'all kind a' gal!

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MichelleM77 Posted 13 Mar 2009 , 5:32pm
post #99 of 116

The groom's family pays for the rehearsal dinner. The bride's family pays for the wedding reception, along with everything else. LOL! Actually, groom's family is responsible for the bar at the reception as well. At least this is what I was informed of when planning my wedding for 2002.

My oldest sister, after being my maid-of-honor and freaking out over all the planning that went into a wedding, eloped to the Carolinas and sent us postcards that they had done just so (she had joked for years that they were going to do it, so it wasn't a surprise) and then a month or so later had a great backyard BBQ that became a yearly event. They were in their middle to late 30's at the time and it was what worked for them.

My middle sister, still not wanting a traditional church wedding after being in mine, got married in the woods somewhere near Denver in an outside chapel like place. She made her own dress too. She still had traditional vows and basically a traditional wedding reception, she just didn't want a church. They are real outdoorsy people too, so that setting fit them perfectly.

I, the most nontraditional of them all, had the traditional to the top (except, YES, I wore white and had my 5-year-old son as my ring bearer!) wedding and reception.

And to the idea that your gift has to cover the price of the meal you are served at the wedding reception? I had heard that, but the people who are still doing that are severely uneducated about the cost of a wedding today (at least how the majority choose to have a wedding). I would have a #$%^ a mile long if I had kept track about who covered their cost, but I was just happy that all but 4 people who had RSVP'd were there to celebrate with us and we didn't shell out all that money for nothing! icon_smile.gif

We were not raised in a small town, we aren't "hippies" or "rednecks", but we all had different weddings based on our financial situations and ideas of what our wedding was to be like.

Oh, I had traditional cake, my middle sister had traditional cake, but my oldest sister who had the BBQ decided on yummy pies! She just had to be different. icon_smile.gif

Now how did this thread get started?!?! LOL!

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drowsyrn Posted 13 Mar 2009 , 5:49pm
post #100 of 116

What gets me is that the time we spend with these customers before, during and after the cake is ordered should cost them the price of a Sam's cake just for our time we have taken to customize and get the order just right for them before we even decorate it. Sometimes I will talk to a customer 10 times just for a half sheet. We are cake decorators and psychiatrists!!

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juleebug Posted 13 Mar 2009 , 6:03pm
post #101 of 116

What gets me is that the time we spend with these customers before, during and after the cake is ordered should cost them the price of a Sam's cake just for our time we have taken to customize and get the order just right for them before we even decorate it.

AMEN to that! thumbs_up.gif

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bethola Posted 13 Mar 2009 , 6:26pm
post #102 of 116

A lot of brides here are doing big rehearsal dinners for that reason, it's the out of town guests. They think that they have to entertain everyone constantly, and/or it's relatives they haven't seen for a long time so they want to spend some time with them that's not at the reception. It's ridiculous, because it does start to be two receptions.(quote)

When my sons were married their dad and I hosted the rehearsal dinners. We chose to invite the out of town guests because I felt that those that took the time and made the effort to come celebrate with us deserved at least a meal! But, I would have KILLED my son if he had expected GIFTS for the rehearsal dinner!

I was amazed, however, that when my youngest was married and the out of town guests of my (now) DIL came to the dinner and apparently enjoyed themselves; but when they left.....not a thank you for inviting us. SOOOOO, rude! But, that was fine because we did what we thought was best and that's all that counts. Well, that and the fact that my son was so happy and pleased that we did that for them.

To Indydebi: Girl, I'm OLD with ya! There are some things I STILL hold on to and those are traditions that are LOOOONNNNGGGG GONE in the etiquette books! Then again....I think I'm one of the Last of the Southern Belles. Kinda like Suzanne Sugarbaker (Designing Women) and Blanch Devaro (The Golden Girls)! LOL

Beth in KY

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luv_to_decorate Posted 13 Mar 2009 , 8:17pm
post #103 of 116

When my oldest son got married my mother was dying in the hospital so the plans were for a very small wedding(the wedding was planned before we knew she was sick). They were expecting their first child and her family didn't have much money. We were very lucky that we had great friends at our church. One of them included a girl that worked for a florist and got us the flowers for a great price. They helped do all of the decorating for the church. Our organist played the piano and didn't charge anything for her service. I had a good friend that owned her own bakery for years and she was going to do the cake very cheap indeed. The MOB decided that I was in charge of too many things and said they would get the cake. (This was before I took decorating classes and I couldn't do it). They bought the cake from Kroger grocery store. They paid almost as much for that cake as for a wonderful custom cake from a local bakery that would have been much better.

When my second son got married, they had already been living together and decided to have a small wedding that they paid for. They only had her mom and my husband and their 2 children standing up for them. They didn't have a rehearsal dinner so I volunterred to cater the reception. By then I had been making decorated cakes for a while and with the help of my Wilton class instuctor (we had becomre friends after I took classes from her) I made their cake (my first wedding cake) and the groom's cake.

Both weddings were very nice but I loved the fact that I was able to make the cake for my second son's wedding.

My daughter went to the court house and got married so I didn't get to do a cake and they didn't have any celebration for the family after the fact either.

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bethola Posted 13 Mar 2009 , 9:21pm
post #104 of 116

Well, for my youngest son's rehearsal I did a cake with an edible image of the couple which was strawberry, his favorite. His twin brother isn't married yet and keeps saying that he expects me to do his wedding cake. We'll see. He ALSO keeps saying he's getting married in Vegas! Sounds like a chance to get a FABULOUS cake at one of those great resorts they have! LOL

My eldest son married in California. Their wedding cake was WONDERFUL and beautiful as well, but, the groom's cake? UHHHHH, carrot cake from Costco. Sheet Cake. Having said tasted GREAT! LOL So, when they came here for their formal reception I had a nice little celebration cake for them but had a REAL groom's cake for my "little boy"! LOL

Beth in KY

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umabdurrahman Posted 14 Mar 2009 , 8:15am
post #105 of 116

hi all,
i jut wanted to chime in with my two cents, well maybe my 2 1/2 cents, lol. this is a bit off the original topic but i am 25 and when my husband and i got married a few years ago, we had the money, well he did (he couldn't imagine me having to pay for our wedding, what a sweetheart) but we decided that a MUCH better use of the money would be to have a civil ceremony (the thing at the courthouse) and then have a big dinner at the local community center and have it be an open invitation. our families weren't there because it was waaay to far for them to drive (we were both off at college). but we had a nice dinner and we got to feed lots of people a great meal and at least half of them would not have been able to have that food, or anything close to it. it made us feel GREAT that we helped a bunch of ppl and the money wasn't wasted icon_wink.gif btw, a couple of our close friends sent us gifts or gave us afterwards but no gifts at the dinner, it was us giving NOT getting.........
well, just a bit to think about.......i'll get off my soapbox now...icon_wink.gif
we should all think about other ppl a bit more maybe...

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erinalicia Posted 15 Mar 2009 , 3:23am
post #106 of 116
Originally Posted by maryjsgirl

Originally Posted by Wesha

Yes, it urks me when you put your time and effort into making a cake beautiful and tastful and customers want to pay dirt cheap prices comparing you to Walmart, Sam's, and everybody else. BTW, I was browsing CL and a bride posted an ad looking for someone to make her a wedding cake AND a groom's cake for the meer price of $200.00. icon_eek.gif . I just laughed and kept surfing the net.


At least she was trying to pay! On my city's CL there is an ad from some chick asking for a free dj, flowers, cake, tux, RINGS, and dress!!! I have been so tempted to email her a reality check.

OMG! I can't believe how brazen people can be. Why is it they think that other people who work hard for what little they have should DONATE their entire wedding for them? Have they not ever heard of going to the courthouse and getting married?

Geez, my husband and I wanted to get married, didn't have the money for the wedding we had hoped for so we went to Eureka Springs, AR one weekend and got married. Cost us all of about $75 for our marriage license and to pay the officiant. It was just me and him, and our marriage has lasted WAY longer than any of our friends who had the big wedding with all the bells and whistles.

I just realized I wanted to be his wife more than I wanted to blow money just so I could get all dressed up.

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7yyrt Posted 16 Mar 2009 , 5:19pm
post #107 of 116

"Thou shalt not charge a fair price for your work"

Hmmm... Don't remember that commandment.

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cinderspritzer Posted 19 Mar 2009 , 2:46am
post #108 of 116

lol. my courthouse wedding was exactly what i WANTED. we had a bbq later for our family and friends.

no rehearsal dinner, no other crap. we put a ''no gifts requested'' notice on our ''reception'' invites. people brought us stuff anyway, but mostly we just wanted everyone to get together to laugh and talk and eat good food. and that's what happened.

our grand total, after marriage license, supplies for me to make our cake, and food and drink for everyone, came to about $150. $13 of that was actually to get married. lol. icon_wink.gif

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Butterpatty Posted 19 Mar 2009 , 6:46pm
post #109 of 116

I am a small-town girl and the two humongo weddings that I have attended were nothing but greed-fests. Many of the small hometown weddings I have attended have been sweet and I have had a blast. These weddings would probably be looked down on bigtime by people who have big bucks for a wedding.

We were love rich and money poor when we got married. I bought my dress on sale as "last year style" and it was for practically nothing. My bridesmaids (sisters and cousin) got dresses from JCPs. We did only miminal deco of church. My parents had no money for a fancy rehearsal dinner- I bought the ingredients and my mom, sisters, and I made an awesome from-scratch dinner and we served buffet style at my apartment.

We had cake, punch, mints and nuts for the reception. I DID choose to use a home-based baker for my cake so I spent most of the budget for cake and NEVER regretted it. The cake was so pretty and the taste was out of this world. I have been married 25 years and people still comment on my wonderful wedding cake. I was told over and over how fun my reception was- it wasn't about how much I had to spend on it or how much the gifts cost, we wanted it to be about fellowship and fun (and that is what happened).

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SUELA Posted 19 Mar 2009 , 7:00pm
post #110 of 116

We will be tying the know in Mexico within the year, aside from my dress (alfred angelo #1516 in eggplant : ), the trip will cost us almost nothing, the only other thing I would spend $$ on is the cake.

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nonnyscakes Posted 19 Mar 2009 , 7:01pm
post #111 of 116
Originally Posted by indydebi

Originally Posted by KrissieCakes

What do that put in those things that they are good for an entire month???

Oh that's nothin'! Modern Baking magazine advertises a product that you can put in cakes to keep them fresh for 60 days.

Must the secret ingredient in Twinkies. icon_eek.gif

indydebi - You crack me up! icon_biggrin.gif

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Kitagrl Posted 20 Mar 2009 , 11:02pm
post #112 of 116

I was too expensive for two people yesterday!

One was because I'm drastically raising my prices on my sculptured cakes so yeah, the price was a little steep...but on the other hand, you want a nice cake carved into the shape of a classic car, you have to pay for it!

One was because they just were not prepared for the cost of a customized cake.

By the way...I don't know about you....but I wonder if ice sculpture people ever get complaints that its "just water"? haha. I doubt it.... they all realize there is art involved there. Why not for cake, which they actually get to EAT?

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CakeDiva73 Posted 20 Mar 2009 , 11:35pm
post #113 of 116
Originally Posted by Kitagrl

By the way...I don't know about you....but I wonder if ice sculpture people ever get complaints that its "just water"? haha. I doubt it.... they all realize there is art involved there. Why not for cake, which they actually get to EAT?

OMG!! You are so right.

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CakeMakar Posted 21 Mar 2009 , 12:02am
post #114 of 116

I bought my dress on ebay. icon_redface.gif I loved it, and still do! A family friend tailored it down to fit me. I've now had it replicated in miniature, using the dress's actual fabric to fit a stuffed doll. It sits on a chair in my bedroom along with two of my favorite dolls from childhood.
I cut a piece of the colored part of my dress and set my MOH on a search for her dress to match. I think she paid $27, and it was on clearance.
It was the best wedding ever. My cake was done by a coworker and it was the most delicious thing ever. As my present, (besides the cake) she gave me her recipes she used.

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Kitagrl Posted 21 Mar 2009 , 12:29am
post #115 of 116

We had a "cheap" wedding too....had it afternoon so just cake and nuts and punch and mints (it was out west so not breaking any huge rules of etiquette)...spent most of the $$$ on photos because that's what lasts. Paid a friend to make a simple buttercream wedding cake with clusters of bc roses on top of each tier. Had a backyard BBQ for a rehearsal dinner and the reception at my parents house.

We don't regret a bit of it! Can't imagine paying today's prices for a wedding. I say if you are going to spend $10,000 or more on a wedding....DONT....and take a really cool honeymoon insetad. thumbs_up.gif

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LaBellaFlor Posted 21 Mar 2009 , 1:20am
post #116 of 116

I wanted to elope when I decided to get married for the second time. Off to Jamaica just me,my husband,my kids, and who ever wanted to tag along. My husband decided he wanted an actual wedding, but a small one. Did we have a small one, NOT. Why? Dear ol' MIL. What about my sisters, what about my nieces, hee shouldn't have to have a small wedding, cause you've all ready been married (my 1st marriage did last over 10 years & was less then 50 ppl at the wedding). Whatever! The whole thing was a nightmare, cause basically she didn't want me to marry her son and I even told her that, what was her response and I quote "Well that is my baby". You have to be f_ _ _ ing kidding me. Well 18K in the hole & it was an okay wedding. Yeah, thats all I can say about it. Everyone was amazed about how it looked and rave about it still, but the stress that my MIL put me through (by the way she only gave us $1800, which I am grateful for, but if it meant less stress, could have easily did with out) it wasn't worth it at all. My husband whish he would have took my advise & eloped after all was said & done. There was one really great thing though, walking down the aisle to my husband. icon_smile.gif Oh yeah, and I spared no expense on my cake! icon_wink.gif

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