Thanksgiving Guest Dilemma

Lounge By adonisthegreek1 Updated 6 Dec 2008 , 1:10am by GI

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adonisthegreek1 Posted 9 Nov 2008 , 4:00pm
post #1 of 6

I will try to keep this brief, because it really is a long story. I'd like your opinions. I am from a large close knit family. One extended family member (age 20) has taken up with an older woman more than twice his age. She has four teenage children from a previous relationship. They are a less than desirable bunch, borderline delinquents. One of them possibly stole some money (it has not been proven and I do not know if it is true).

If you are wondering if this older woman has money and is taking care of him, the answer is no. He is actually the hard worker, but suffers from low self esteem.

I was planning to have Thanksgiving dinner at my house. This family member wants to come, bring this older woman and her 4 teenagers. I want to see all of my other family, but I don't want to expose my young impressionable children to this crew. Do I cancel Thanksgiving at my house or simply tell them that they are not welcome? I just don't feel like there is a classy way out. What should I do?

5 replies
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Karema Posted 9 Nov 2008 , 4:50pm
post #2 of 6

I would talk to him and tell him the truth. He is invited but you cant accomodate his girlfriend and her four kids. I would just tell him that she has children that do not behave proper in public and you do not wish them to be around your children. Tell him that you love him but you have to but your children and they safekeeping first. Good luck

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funcakes Posted 9 Nov 2008 , 9:14pm
post #3 of 6

I can totally understand, my husband has some relatives that do not behave, or speak in a manner that we approve of. They swear,say unkind, racist remarks etc. and often drink way too much and then argue in public. I hate all the drama and if that is what you want to avoid then you might just have to not invite them. However, children are really not that likely to pick up any bad behavior from spending time with them at a holiday. My daughter had house guests for two weeks and the guests were very stressed and acting in inappropriate ways to each other until my 2 year old grandson looked at them and said " That's not a nice way to talk" They stopped dead silent, looked at him and said-your right, we will try not to do that anymore!
And they acted kinder for the rest of the time. So, you never know-maybe the guests will be encourage by your family rather than the opposite.

Good luck with this situation, even if goes off in a ditch, it sure makes funny stories later!

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mbelgard Posted 10 Nov 2008 , 12:17am
post #4 of 6

I think unless your family normally excludes boyfriends/girlfriends you're stuck.

If a kid had done something specific you would have a loophole.

This is the reason why I won't do family dinners at my house. We live to far to invite my family and there are relatives of my husband's that I won't have over for any reason. By the end of the holiday at least half of my husband's family wouldn't be talking to me and while that might be a good thing in a way I dont' want the drama.

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KKC Posted 10 Nov 2008 , 12:23am
post #5 of 6

I to him and let him know the deal! If he doesn't accept it then thats his problem. No one wants to put up with drama on Thanksgiving and to have to worry about whether or not someone may steal from you. You shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable at your own house! We have 2 unwanted Thanksgiving guest every single year and every single year my grandmother tells them..''Don't come here starting no mess, cause i won't have it. Whatever problems ya'll have leave it at the door and be thankful that you have a family to celebrate this day with..and stop being so darn childish'' and i promise you they are on their best behavior for the rest of the day. You have to be strong and put your foot down and let him know that you won't have all that nonsense around your kids!

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GI Posted 6 Dec 2008 , 1:10am
post #6 of 6

adonisthegreek1 how did your Thanksgiving holiday turn out? I hope it went well! icon_smile.gif

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