Devastated And In Tears!!!!

Lounge By Curtsmin24 Updated 29 Sep 2008 , 10:36pm by kjt

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Curtsmin24 Posted 26 Sep 2008 , 7:47am
post #1 of 21

My heart fell to the floor today when I got the mail.... it was an envelope for my husband.... he is being called back to active duty. I started to cry after I read the orders.

I know some of you are wondering why I am devastated but, I can't help it. We met in the Marine Corps and were both discharged over a year ago and we are both going to college and have pretty much tried to live a normal life and now this. I got discharged due to a disability and he finished a four year tour and coincidentially we ended up being discharged around the same time in July of 2007.

I have pretty much been by his side since 2005 and I am afraid to see him go overseas without me or anyone he knows. I am so sad and i'm trying not to show it but, I can tell he doesn't want to leave me alone because he does all the heavy lifting and takes really good care of me when I can't move too well. I am trying to stay positive but, I am scared as he**! It's one thing to be a military spouse and not really know what they have to go through but, it's really hard when you have been exposed and lived through it to see someone you love so much go through it. I am sitting here in tears while he is asleep and i'm shaking so bad. Please send me some prayers, I know God has his reasons but, i'm just so sad and depressed to think that he'll be gone for a year and not have anyone to talk to and to be here when I come home. I'm just not comfortable with the idea of being alone.

20 replies
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Curtsmin24 Posted 26 Sep 2008 , 10:18am
post #2 of 21

I guess no one can understand what I am going through. It's okay, I know, it's a tough situation. icon_sad.gif

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veejaytx Posted 26 Sep 2008 , 10:24am
post #3 of 21

You're right, Curtsmin. I read your post and just didn't know what to say.

I wish nobody had to ever go off to war again, but it seems that is impossible. I hope your DH will be safe and that the year away will pass quickly for you!

This may sound odd, but if you don't have a pet, maybe you should consider getting one. I'm alone all the time, and don't know what I'd do without my cat, Pepper, she keeps me company and is a lot of entertainment. She even talks back to me if I fuss at her too much!

I'm sure everyone is like me, just at a loss for words to say to you. Janice

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Ohara Posted 26 Sep 2008 , 10:50am
post #4 of 21

I am so sorry that you are facing this. I am so very thankful for people like you and your husband who have served or are currently serving our country. As a wife I can't imagine being told one day that I will have to spend a year without my husband, and oh yeah, he'll be in and awful, and dangerous situation. My heart goes out to you, and of course all the other families that are going through this. I would be honored to pray for you and your husband. Know that there is always an ear to listen here.

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tiersfromheaven Posted 26 Sep 2008 , 11:22am
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Can he not try to prove hardship because of your disability? I know I've seen that happen many times in the Army but don't know about Marines. I am very sorry for you both. I hated having my hubby deployed . . . it was bad and I can only imagine how a disability would have made it for me.
I know nothing can ease your mind much when it comes to worrying about him, but do you have family nearby to help you when he's gone? I remember my hubby always saying to me knowing that the kids and I were safe helped him suck it up and drive on (army thing). So sorry that I can't be much help. But if having an outlet to vent your emotions and worries helps any, we are here for that.

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Meemawfish Posted 26 Sep 2008 , 12:16pm
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Are you kidding. Of course I will pray for you both. What you and your hubby have done so far for us is wonderful. You've kept us safe not to mention our freedom. I would be honored to pray for you both and hope that the time he's away will go swiftly and safely. icon_biggrin.gifusaribbon.gif

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janelwaters Posted 26 Sep 2008 , 1:03pm
post #7 of 21

Like everyone else - I just don't know what to say. I think I would lose my mind if my husband were to have to leave for a year!

I am in the same boat as you - I am out of work on disability as well and my husband does most of the "work" around the house for me. I just can't even image how I would cope if he were gone.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!

Where in Florida are you??

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-K8memphis Posted 26 Sep 2008 , 1:41pm
post #8 of 21

My husband, a decorated Viet Nam veteran saw this saying on a lighter during his tour:
"For those who fought for it, freedom bears a price the protected will never know."

Thank you both,
God bless you very much.
one of the grateful protected ones

Love & Prayers,

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dailey Posted 26 Sep 2008 , 2:48pm
post #9 of 21

sorry to hear your husband has to go back. my aunt is dealing with this right now as well. her son was just sent back to iraq and she is quite distraught. will keep you and your husband in my prayers...

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Amia Posted 26 Sep 2008 , 4:17pm
post #10 of 21

There are so many of us who are thankful for the sacrifices made by our soldiers, and their families. I'm very sorry and will keep you both in my prayers.

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VannaD Posted 26 Sep 2008 , 5:16pm
post #11 of 21

Wow, I assume they send all those recall letters at the same time, my neighbor is in the Marines and his wife came over yesterday after she got the letter, and was near tears, Im tearing up right now just thinking of our talk last night. She was so upset, they have 3 girls, and moved tons while he was on active duty and he was always gone, they just just bought their house next to ours almost a year ago and now he has to go to Missouri and see if he has to go back in. It's heartbreaking, and I can only imagine how you feel, I will pray for you and your husband.

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levinea Posted 26 Sep 2008 , 5:31pm
post #12 of 21

I'm very sorry to hear he will have to go for a year. My husband is not in the military, but he does work overseas in Africa for most of the year and I am here alone. I don't have to worry about him being in a war, of course, but it is hard to deal with the loneliness - for him and for me. You just take it a day at a time, stay busy, write plenty of e-mails and letters, and take lots of pictures to send (of anything related to home...the leaves changing, decorations you've put up around the house, just anything).

As someone else said, getting a pet if you don't have one helps a lot. I don't know what I'd do without my little dog, she is such amazingly good company, and a good listener when I feel like talking. And she's always there and excited to see me when I get home.

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Curtsmin24 Posted 27 Sep 2008 , 9:24am
post #13 of 21

I tried to post a reply earlier but it didn't go through. Thank you so much for your support and prayers as they are very much needed at this time.

I live in Tampa not very far from Raymond James stadium.

I am going to try to get them to look at our situation as hardship but, I doubt it will work. I was in pain for two years before I ended up having my surgery and anyone would listen to me.

I guess they are sending them out at the same time because he has to go to Kansas city, Missourri on October 16th as well but, they will be giving him his orders right on the spot after he is medically evaluated. His knees are pretty bad but, the way they look at it is since he hasn't really had it documented then it doesn't exist. You know how some men are, they have too much pride and they won't say anything hurts even if it does.

Thank you all so much, again I really appreciate you all and am very happy to hear some responses. I thought I was alone for a moment and although I was crying my heart out last night, I feel a little bit better today. We finally got in touch with one of his grandmothers and she was a lot stronger than me. She told me that we will keep in touch and that everything will work out fine in the end. I know everything happens for a reason and I am slowly trying to accept the situation. Thank you all for being here for me, I am very thankful for all of you!! icon_smile.gif

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indydebi Posted 27 Sep 2008 , 12:58pm
post #14 of 21

My son got recalled to active duty after being home 2 years. He joined the Marine Reserves instead, which detached him from his original unit, so they had no more "claim" to him. The reserve unit was not scheduled to be shipped out for 2 years and he can drop out of the reserves after one year.

He was worried about what we would think of him "trying to get out of" active duty. I told him:

"John, you've served two tours of Iraq. You were awarded the purple heart when you ran over a land mine and got schrapnel in your arm and phosperous burns in your back. You were awarded a second medal for taking care of your wounded commander AND taking over the platoon and keeping them safe until reinforcements could arrive to evacuate you. You left active duty as a Sargeant in the United States Marine Corp.... the toughest branch of the military. I don't think anyone could argue that you shirked (sp?) your responsibility or service to your country what so ever. You did your time and you are STILL serving your country in the reserves. If anyone has a problem with that, you can show them your scars ..... or send them to yo' mama and I'LL set 'em straight!" icon_twisted.gif

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suzted7 Posted 27 Sep 2008 , 2:49pm
post #15 of 21

I completely understand. Out of the 17 years my husband and I have been together, I can say with absolute certainty that he has been gone for about half of that. That is including wars, schools, field problems and anything else the military will seperate you for! Since 9/11, he's deployed 6 times. I'm an army brat, grew up in Germany, was aware of the military life, but being married to it is alot different then having a dad in! Anyway, mine is now non-deployable because he is an instructor here on post. He's been home for almost 2 years straight and we don't know what to do with each other! LOL!
Anyway, I know what you're going thru. I guess I'm just used to being a a single mom and one parent family by now. Doesn't mean I didn't miss him terribly while he was definitely do.. but it is what it is and you just have to do what needs to be done. It sucks, but that's the military life.
If you ever need someone to talk about things, I'm here!

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CakeDiva73 Posted 27 Sep 2008 , 6:20pm
post #16 of 21

I just wanted to say thank you to both you and your husband. It's people like you who are fighting for the freedom we enjoy every day. I am sorry he has been called back and I cannot even begin to imagine what that must be like. You will all be in my prayers.

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Curtsmin24 Posted 27 Sep 2008 , 6:52pm
post #17 of 21

Oh Debi your so funny. You made me laugh so hard. You reminded me of my mom she always tells my brother to tell them to come see her. She insulted my Master Sgt. on base because he said I was a pain in his a**. She told him that he was a jerk because he chose not to listen to me when I tried to talk to him and thats why I was a pain. If he had just listened the first time instead of thinking he knows everything then maybe he wouldn't have had an issue with me. This was all because another Marine put his hands on me below my waist and kept trying to fondle me and I put a hurtin' on him.

I know I have to accept it suzyted, I just had a hard time with it. Think back to the first time your hubby was deployed and all the crazy thoughts you had going through your mind and multiply that by 4. We were both stationed together in California so I know exactly what he is being exposed to first hand. I'm glad to hear that he is closer to you now and I can so understand where you are coming from. Thank you for being here for me. I will definitly keep you in mind when I need someone to talk to. Hugs to everyone. You are all a blessing!!!

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Curtsmin24 Posted 27 Sep 2008 , 6:55pm
post #18 of 21

your welcome cakediva. We do what we can especially during these crazy times. My heart goes out to all of you for being supportive. usaribbon.gif

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suzted7 Posted 27 Sep 2008 , 7:08pm
post #19 of 21 didn't matter if it was the first time or the 10th time he left.....EVERYTIME it was hell for me. The thoughts you were talking about......they didn't stop until he's right in front of me!

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Curtsmin24 Posted 28 Sep 2008 , 10:14am
post #20 of 21

I know what you mean...and somehow your expected to deal with that. It sucks but at least he's there with you now. It's so much easier to appreciate our loved ones in situations like these. I mean that we appreciate them a lot more, you know? I keep reading my posts and it sounds like i'm being an a$$. I'm really not trying to sound like that it's just hard to type what I mean without typing eight paragraphs. I appologize if I sound rude, i'm really not trying to be. Tonight hubby and I went out and danced for a little bit ( I was hurtin after the first two songs) but we had a blast and his mind was at ease and so was mine for a while. He had a couple of drinks and he was smiling and he told me that no matter what happens he will make sure he comes home to me and that he knows that I will wait for him. I was sober and I almost shed a tear but I stayed strong thanks to you all. I feel like I am going to get through this okay. thumbs_up.gifusaribbon.gif

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kjt Posted 29 Sep 2008 , 10:36pm
post #21 of 21

As others have said, I can't imagine what you must be feeling. I am sorry for you. Please accept my heartfelt gratitude; because of your family's sacrifice and service, my family and country are more safe.
Thank you sincerely, usaribbon.gif

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