THIS IS ALL CAPS BECAUSE I WANT TO MAKE A POINT.

THIS IS YOUR CHILD. LISTEN TO YOUR HEART. DON'T LET ANYONE TALK YOU INTO BELIEVING OR NOT BELIEVING WHAT YOU KNOW/FEEL IN YOU HEART.

I think you should have him tested and also try some of the things the OP's have suggested. Your son needs your help.

My son is 8 and he has had Speech since he was 4. I thought he had a problem when he was 2 but I allowed myself to be swayed by my husband and my MIL. They said he was fine. Well guess what at the age of 4 he got speech 3x's a week for an hour for a year. In Kindergarten thru 2nd grade 2x's a week for 1/2 an hour in school. He will start 3rd grade in Sept with Speech 2x's a week. He has a problem with articulation. He would still have this problem if he was tested ealier but we would be further along in this process if he started earlier.

I knew there was something wrong but I didn't want to be the one to find out what it really was.

Get on the website and look up info about getting him tested and look for other ideas for helping. Also look at your school districts by-laws on their website so that you can be informed of your rights. Also, please what ever you do don't listen to anyone who has been thru this process. Every case is different. You will be suprised at how many people that will try to discourage you. If you get any info from your school district don't take what they tell your for gospel. Look it up on their website. They will only help you so much because they are looking out for their best interest not yours even thu you are the taxpayer.

I tell all new mothers that I come in contact with, This is your child and don't let anyone convice you there is nothing wrong if you believe differently.

You have to trust in yourself and your judgement.

OK I will get off my soap box. Thanks for reading.

My daughter is in the gifted and talented program at her school. She's 10 now and last year we started her on adderall. We always thought she might be borderline ADHD, but she never struggled with anything. Last year homework became a HUGE battle and her grades dropped. I WAS one of those ignorant people that thought medications was bad and should only be for the "really bad" cases. Well, when you see your own child struggling and it affects your whole family with all the screaming, yelling, crying and stress it will change your mind! I never had my daughter tested. My "test" was giving my dd a starbucks doubleshot and figuring out that it calmed her down and allowed her to focus and get things done. A doubleshot sends me bouncing off the walls! Our doctor heard that and the other things that had been going on and said it sounded like ADHD. I like what my aunt said about her son...her doctor said to try the medication, if it works, he's adhd, if not it's something else. And it's definately working for us.

If it's not ADHD (heck try some caffeine and see what it does, something diet), you might want to look into testing him for learning disorders. There are ALL KINDS of learning disorders and even brilliant people can have them. My oldest that is ADHD has troubles with numbers and letters sometimes. When she was little she used to write in mirror image, it was freaky! She'd write something out and if you held it up in a mirror you could read it. She still gets some things backwards like that.

My other suggestion would be to look into counseling for yourself too. It's not normal to get so stressed you black out. I started counseling last year and the work I'm doing is amazing. It's hard work, but I'm definately handling things better. I was horribly depressed, had major anger issues which did NOT help when it came to dealing with my dd. My friends (the few that I have) tell me what major changes they see in me. I'm learning to forgive myself for the past and for the mistakes I still make. I'm also learning how to take care of myself so that I can better take care of my family (I have four kids). It's a lot of money, but I think about my kids and know that I'm setting them on the right track to be healthier adults that won't have the problems I've had. Fell free to PM me if you want more info. Hugs to you and your son!!!

Thanks...well yesterday was a little bit better. When he got home from school I let him relax and get on the computer until 5:30pm...and then he started his homework, which I must say didn't take him long at all and he had alot of it to do. I gave him directions and told him if he needed my help to ask. My son writes huge so I have to keep telling him to do it neatly but yesterday I said it one time and that was it I didn't have to repeat myself. We'll see what happens today though.

Ok..today not such a good day. Let him play till 6:30. Come to find out he didn't write down his homework assignments (although he lied and told me he did)...so I had to go on the web to get his homework. Spent the last 2 hours crying and with a pounding headache because I'm giving up. I'm making an appointment with a specialist to get him tested...screw what DH says, I can't keep going thru this and I won't keep putting my son thru this if it can be helped. My head is pounding beyond control and I think that I'm going to send him to his grandmothers until my DH gets back from out of town...i'm sooooo stressed!

I'm wondering if it is possible that you are dealing more with him not wanting to do his homework?

I'm no expert, but if he could do his homework in an acceptable manner one day, why is he not capable of doing it that way the next?

And why did you cry? Because he lied? Because he was being difficult?

He could very well have some issues that need medical attention. And, perhaps I'm the only one, but the behavior you've described here sounds like a lot of kids who don't have a medical issue. Is it possible that he knows how to work the system here?

I know that I've dealt with kids who sounded a lot like this and had great success in doing some of the things I listed, deciding not to take it personally, and sticking to my guns.

If that doesn't work after a period of time, then I would seek outside help. Some kids need more structure and will test limits more than others. Others need medical intervention. If I were in your situation, which I'm not, I would make my game plan, stick to it with a smile on my face even if it killed me for 2 week, and then if I wasn't seeing improvement, I would seek help.

I am more concerned about you at this point. I think he knows your buttons and is pushing them. You need some encouragement and support. Hang tough. Being a Mom is HARD work, every day. You can do it. I hope you find the best solution here.

Yeah...i think he was pushing my buttons. Thursday, AWESOME DAY....I had absolutely no problem with him getting his work done in a timely manner. I helped him study for all 4 of his tests (which by the way he got all A's) and he was having fun with it. I talked to his teacher yesterday and she told me to just work with him a little more perhaps get someone to help him with his homework besides me because I maybe intimidating him. So I'm going to hire my cousin who's a Senior to help him every day. But yesterday was a very good day...didn't have to yell or threaten him not once. I talked to him and asked him what did he want to be when he grew up and he said a Policeman. So I explained to him how the policemen got to where they are now and how they paid attention in school (even though it maybe a lie) and how they worked hard to get that job. Today was also a good day his teacher told me, she didn't have to remind him to write down his homework so thats a good start. I'm just going to take it one day at a time but his teacher told me to not rush to getting him tested for ADD just yet. Its funny because the subjects I thought he'd be less interested in he loves them and probably knows more than me. So thanks everyone from the bottom of my heart for your advice and suggestions, I know we'll get thru this!

I totally agree with the wind-down time. By the sound of it, he is already expecting homework time to be negative and unpleasant.
Is he having trouble with the work at school? Is he really getting it? My first thought was that maybe he is not understanding the work. I remember when I was that age, I just took a little longer to understand it and I hated doing work at school and at home because I didn't understand it. So it was easier to just not do it, but it was still terribly embarrassing. With the right teacher, I improved my grades and later made it onto the Honor Roll, Priciples List, Student Council and all that good stuff.
Talk to his teacher, ask what he/she observes in the class. How the assignments are taught can make a huge difference. Not everyone learns the same way. Maybe a tutor can get him motivated.
How's his self esteem as far as school work? If he's not understanding the assignments, this can play a big part in his not doing the work at home or at school.
Good luck and relax .

I talked to his teacher and she said that he completely understands the work he just takes longer than most to get everything written down. This is only with his journal and writing down his homework. She said the problem is not with his learning, its just that he takes forever to get things done. I've had alot of people in my family tell me that because he's a Cancer he's going to move slow. Yeah I know, I thought it was rather strange but every single person in my family that is a Cancer moves extremely slow I don't know why. My son and one of my other cousins are born on the same day and his mom told me that he moved slow as a child and still does now that he's over 30. Whatever as long as he doesn't have a problem understanding the work, so now the only thing I have to work on with him is his timing.

My oldest son would take hours to get homework done. I tried everything I could think of but, everything was a distraction for him. Once I put him in a room that was all white no furniture just him his book and his pencil. I went back in about fifteen minutes, he hadn't done anything and was playing with his pencil. I had this kid to every doctor and had every test done, and no one could find a thing wrong. They did tell me he was smart and creative. Kind of an expensive way to go. I found that on a bad day if I just broke the work up even if it was a few problems it helped. I also broke it up by subject. So say he had English and math he could choose which to do first, when he got one done he could do something he wanted to for a half hour depending on how much time there was to work with. Then he could go to the next subject. He never did like school to much but he has a good job now and is happy.

I have to say, I am a mother to a VERY hyper 4 year old, so I totally feel you on getting frustrated sometimes. And I havent had a chance to read through all three pages of replies, but is it possible that he has trouble reading or understanding some of the things he's having to do?? He is only 7 years old, so I wouldnt imagine he would be able to sit still for 3 hours a night doing homework, especially if someone is standing over him yelling for him to do it--that alone would skyrocket my anxiety level. I also dont think that throwing away his toys and giving away family pets as punishment is the right answer either--I think there'd be some psychological stuff going on there for the little guy. I'd say get him tested for ADHD, as others have mentioned, and also try and find a way for you to calm yourself down while youre around him. If youre getting yourself so pissed off at your 7 year old that youre passing out, you have some stuff to think about for yourself too!!

Hope you get it worked out!

Well, I know its not a reading issue because since he started school when he was 3 he was being taught how to read. He is in 2nd grade but he's reading as though he's in 4th (as told by his teacher) so i know reading is not an issue. His teacher has actually told me that when he is taught something that he didn't understand at first he immediately catches on and understands. The problem is him taking his time to do certain things. I took everyones advice and I let him relax for a few hours after school before I make him start homework, we had one day that was really bad but the rest of the days were good. I talked to his teacher and she insisted that I wait a few weeks before I get him tested, she says that she doesn't think its ADD but that he just needs a little work on getting things done in a timely fashion. On Thursday things were so great he had homework in every subject (except Spanish) and he completed them all within an 1 1/2 hours and everything was right (so I know its not a learning disability) and he had to study for 4 tests that he was having on Friday and when I picked him up from school on Friday his teacher said that he got A's on all of his tests that day. So like i said its not a learning problem but its more of taking his precious time to get things done.

Indy, alot of people say that he may just be bored. When he started Kindergarten they were making him do 1st & 2nd grade work..ok thats fine. But because I moved to another city when he started 1st grade, I had to take him out of that school and put him in an "F" school and its like the things they were teaching he already knew because he learned it in Kindergarten at the other school. So I decided that I needed him to get a little more challenged so this year I put him in a private school. So I don't know, i know he probably is bored but what is it that i can do to get him motivated to complete the work. I'm not completely listening to the teachers advice but I am going to give this a go for at least 2 weeks and if i see that it isn't getting any better then I'll go and get him tested. My DH says that my expectations for our son is too high and that i'm putting too much pressure on him....WHAT...i just don't want him taking his time because while he's still doing one thing the teacher is already on another subject and she doesn't have time to stop and wait for him its not fair to her nor the other students. Frankly, i feel that we should've been past this stage seeing as though we've been thru this before with him. We can't hold his hand and baby him every step of the way...my grandparents did it to my dad and his brother and they both turned out to be lazy, excuse-making morons!! I can't let that happen to my son.

When my son was discovered to be genius, and when they moved him to harder work, his grades went up and he completed his homework/projects on time with no problem. He wasn't bored anymore .. the work was interesting to him now and it was a challenge ... but it was a good challenge, not a "I'm never going to get this" challenge.

Dont let the fear of how your relatives turn out paralize your ability to be a parent. It's like you're punishing him for how your dad turned out. (It's like when the oldest child turns out to be a real troublemaker so the younger kids are not allowed to hang out with friends and be a normal teenager because of the fear they MIGHT turn out like their big brother.)

Take a deep breath, and remember ..... he's only seven. Do not set college-level expectations. Do not set perfection expectations that he can never achieve. All that does is instill a "I'm never good enough so why bother?" attitude in the child. He may try really hard in the beginning to do what you want, but when he "never makes mom happy", then he'll just give up.

You want him to turn out well, you are working to help him not be a "lazy moron", you obviously have a high level of concern to put him on and keep him on the right track. All of that is a good thing. And the fact that you are trying different methods to see what works best for your son says alot about you, too .... it tells me that you're not a "I'm right no matter what" parent, which is a whole 'nuther problem. You're willing to work it WITH your son instead of putting it all on him.

Just relax. He's seven.

I know...u make a good point. Sometimes i have to catch myself. Anytime he does something good i give him all the praise. Even when he hasn't done so good I still try to encourage him as much as possible. Like last year he got a C on one of his tests I told him that a "C" is good it shows that he tried his best...i'm not one of those parents that are like 'I don't want u to bring home anything less than a B'...

Another way I'm trying to encourage like in Math is to do addition or subtraction with candy or cookies or things like that and he responded well to it because at the end of his homework sessions he can eat the sweets...which is bad for me because he'd be bouncing off the walls.

I know he'll be ok because I pray about and I'll wait on the Lord...i know he'll guide us in the right direction as long as we have faith and it doesn't waiver.