k8, you make some very good and valid observations. I still think it was an uncalled for statement. No matter what the kid is doing, this lady is the adult and shouldn't be referring to the child in such a manner. My husband would never say this about our two oldest children (notice I said "our" children) because he never thinks of them this way. Obviously, this woman has a separation between "his" and "my" kid(s) or it never would have crossed her mind to differentiate.
Just that whenever I hear stories like this, I thank God that I found a man who can't tell the difference between "our" and "my" kids. Because they're all "our" kids.
On a lighter note: When either of the children are naughty I do tell my husband that they are his kids 
, even my oldest who's not his biological son, and sometimes he says the same (in a joking manner of course). That is the only time the word "my kids" comes up. We are a family, no matter how we got here. What matters is that we made it.
On a lighter note: When either of the children are naughty I do tell my husband that they are his kids
, even my oldest who's not his biological son, and sometimes he says the same (in a joking manner of course). That is the only time the word "my kids" comes up. We are a family, no matter how we got here. What matters is that we made it.
This is EXACTLY what I was going to say. When my 4 year old daughter says something smarty-buttish, I tell people that's dh's kid. When my 6 year old ignores something dh says, he tells me that's my kid. It's hard to tell someone's tone by an email sometimes, so maybe that's what she meant. Maybe the child is very particular and detail-oriented (like the girl's father) and that's what she was referring to....probably not, but maybe...
Oh geesh, my 15 year old can top that. SHe is the bio child of me and my hubby (so she's his "real" kid .... don't you hate THAT term, too?). Anyway, she has more than once stomped into the living and said to me, "your husband is an ASS!!"
Has nothing to do with step or not ... she's just being a 15 year old!
That's funny indy! It sounds like me when I was 15, and he was my real dad! I think maybe we should all take a deep breath, look around, and see what a wonderful family we have (as my 2 year old screams, my 9 year old whines that he's still hungrey, and my DH gives me that look while I type on the computer) ahhh yes.... life is good But now I have to go buy cake supplies, and I will miss them all while I shop in silence. .
My father remarried and nobody ever called us step kids. Nobody called her step mom or mom or anything like that. I never got a birthday mention much less a cake from her and she of all things was a baker believe it or not.
It would have been an egregious breech of etiquete if anyone had referred to us as her children in any way shape or form.
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I had a relative stay with me and she had a 1 year old. She moved out because I expected her to find work and she did not share my view. The police called me on several occassions to bale her out. She moved out of state and things got worse. The baby went into foster care and her grandma rescued her and raised her to become an outstanding very accomplished young person.
I felt so damn guilty about that baby. I sent her (she went to live out of state) treasure chest Christmas presents. I made everything sparkle and shine. Wrapped with fancy froofroo stuff. Dude, she did not even know me. I know my own family rarely got gifts as well wrapped as that. But I did not feel like I had let my family down.
So all that to say I totally get your feelings, Indy. But if we go by mine there's always another side.
If she is an evil step mother why is she asking so many questions about kidlette's cupcakes?
If I didn't care about a kid I wouldn't be ordering specialty food for her.
Relationships take time.
Just my two pesos.
1-b/c her husband probably asked her to
2-b/c she doesn't want to do a half-butt job and have ppl think she's a bad step mommy whether she is or not
3-relationships do take time and referring to her step-daughter with that attitude is only going to make it take longer
4-Even if I were planning something for someone I didn't like (and I have) I'd still do a good job of it.
No matter how you read it or say it to yourself it still was a crappy thing to say. It was like, "Yeah, I'm bugging you with all these questions and doing all this work and it's not even for my kid!" 
So what does she want...a medal? Wow, bless her for going to all this trouble for her husband's kid.
My sister is worse with my nephew, she puts the least amount of effort she can into his birthdays. She forgot last year and I reminded her a few days B4. She does enough to make it look like she's really trying in front of friends and strangers but those of us closest to her know better. Actually, now that I think about it, she doesn't put much more effort into her own kids bdays 
but she at least has a better attitude about those. With my nephew she's like, "I don't care but I'm not spending a lot of money on it."
I'm not trying to sound nasty but I probably do, sorry.
Wow, I didn't know this topic was on it's 3rd page!
For those of you who say "Shame on you people for bashing this woman and that we should ashamed of ourselves"... please!
This was her response after an e-mail I sent her:
"well i was there today and i had seen them and then leave 1 of the cupcakes without a pick and i can get the ariel candel for the one. and question how is that new flavor? and is it possible to go into your shop? and can you give me a price for a regular cake taht serves about 35 people? I'mso sorry for all the questions this birthday party isn't even for my kid, it's for my husband's daughter and he is not even helping of course and i am going crazy"..
My husband has 2 children and I have a daughter from a previous relationship. Thank god that his kids have always accepted and treated and introduced my daughter as their sister way before we got married. After 3 yrs of living together we got married and my daughter calls him dad now. It was a rough start because she was 4 and she knew that wasnt her father but I am blessed to have a wonderful husband and father for my children and now they are inseperable. I always refer to my step children as my own even though they dont live with us. And when they come over on weekends I always make sure they are comfortable and treat them no different. So we are a family now and there is no step in our home.
Wow, I didn't know this topic was on it's 3rd page!
For those of you who say "Shame on you people for bashing this woman and that we should ashamed of ourselves"... please!
This was her response after an e-mail I sent her:
"well i was there today and i had seen them and then leave 1 of the cupcakes without a pick and i can get the ariel candel for the one. and question how is that new flavor? and is it possible to go into your shop? and can you give me a price for a regular cake taht serves about 35 people? I'mso sorry for all the questions this birthday party isn't even for my kid, it's for my husband's daughter and he is not even helping of course and i am going crazy"..
I'm going to get totally bashed for this!
Yes maybe she could have worded it better, but this is what I got from her e-mail. I totally got the impression that she does not have any biological children of her own. All she said was that the girl was not her child. This lady sounds like she wants to make a very nice party for her step-daughter but feels embrassed about it - like she feels is overstepping her boundaries as the new step-mother. She's going crazy planning for all the details wanting to make it perfect, but is very unsure of herself as she's probably never planned a childs party before. When people get nervous silly, stupid things slip out of their mouth. I would prefer to give the lady the benefit of doubt in this situation.
I'll bash bad behavior to towards her stepdaughter as witnessed when the cupcakes are delivered, but I would not based on one line in an email.
Perhaps she didn't worded as nicely as she could have - but I don't think she cared about impressing anyone with her e-mail. She just wanted information about cupcakes.
You should hear some of the things I have said directly TO the children I gave birth to when I've been frustrated (when they really cheese me off, or if I have a migraine and they WILL.NOT.SHUT.UP. Heh.)
I'm no bible thumper, but I am particularly fond of the verse "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone". Or something like that.
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