So Bummed....

Decorating By judylynnturner Updated 19 Jun 2008 , 12:51pm by thems_my_kids

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judylynnturner Posted 13 Jun 2008 , 7:37pm
post #1 of 34

I am so bummed out.... icon_cry.gificon_cry.gificon_cry.gificon_cry.gif

Monday is my birthday. Birthdays are a big thing for me. Always have been since I became "growed". (Long story, but didn't have good childhood, lots of bouncing around, etc. Never really had a chance to ever have a party or anything.)

So, when I got old enough, I made sure everyone I know of has a good birthday--cake, a gift (if appropriate), and a card (always).

I have been reminding my husband for a month to call Darci to make a cake for me. Well, he never did... icon_cry.gificon_mad.gificon_cry.gif

I kept telling him, our friends have plans for the summer, get with them if you are planning anything. He didn't--not even dinner.

My dad went out of town and won't be back for three weeks--guess he forgot his only daughter's birthday... thumbsdown.gif

I know I am only going to be 37 and it isn't a milestone or anything like that. But I have always believed that birthdays are special because that is the day God decided to give you to the world to do His will and it should be a special day with at least dinner and a cake. party.gif

I was supposed to be off from work on Monday, but the owner of our company is coming and I have to be here to show how the new database system I set up is going to work. We are getting a new color copier/scanner/fax which runs about 20 thousand. I am trying to be happy about that because we have been amking do with broken equipment for months. thumbs_up.gif

But, all I can think about is that I threw Steve a huge party for his birthday; I made sure his family didn't forget his mom's birhtday and we had a dinner at Red Lobster (her favorite); my mom was taken on a trip; my dad wanted a special dinner cooked and served and I did that for him; all of Steve's neices and nephews get a cake, dinner party, gift (for some, charity donations for others) and a card; and afterwards, I develop the film and make a scrapbook of the event for Christmas, Mother's day, Father's Day, or what ever holiday is coming up next. Now, I just want to cry.

I bust my buns all year on everyone else and no one appricates it...

I love my family and Steve's (for the most part--some in-law bumps occassionally)... icon_rolleyes.gif

Everyone always says how special it makes them feel that I go through all this trouble for them and they are so happy that I do this stuff. But then, when it comes to me, I feel like I am being cheated... icon_confused.gif

I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I do...

I have got to get over this. I was hoping this was going to help, but now I feel worse because I have sat here and thought about, see it in writing, and I feel tears building up...

I will eat birthday.gif--that always makes me feel better--oh, I can't my stupid husband forgot to get with Darci...

Oh, well, happy birthday to me. I will not let this ruin my whole weekend. I will put it off until Monday and just chalk it up to having a bad day then...

A happy Friday the 13th to all and a Happy Father's Day to all!

33 replies
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emrldsky Posted 13 Jun 2008 , 7:50pm
post #2 of 34

I know it's bad to get your hopes up, but do you think he might be planning a surprise for you?

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ibmoser Posted 13 Jun 2008 , 7:53pm
post #3 of 34

Oooohhhhhh - big cyber ((((((hugs)))))). Don't fret - maybe he is planning a surprise. If not, drag him away Monday night for a nice dinner and dessert wherever you would like to go. You deserve it thumbs_up.gif

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SweetResults Posted 13 Jun 2008 , 7:53pm
post #4 of 34

Awww Judy - I feel for ya hon! Happy Birthday to you - I wish I was close enough to bring you a cake!

I know just how you feel - I go out of my way like you, and it never quite seems to come full circle. I keep hoping someday it will.

Best wishes to you and I hope your birthday and weekend get better!


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foxymomma521 Posted 13 Jun 2008 , 7:54pm
post #5 of 34

I'm sorry things aren't working out! I know what it feels like to be forgotten, and it stinks. I do hope it gets better for you... Happy Early Birthday!

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judylynnturner Posted 13 Jun 2008 , 7:55pm
post #6 of 34

No, he said he totally forgot.

Which if you knew my husband would understnad that is normal for him now. He had a bleeding leasion in his brain at Christmas and we almost lost him. He has just recently gotten his all clear to drive and go back to full duty at his job.

I am just really disappointed because I make such a big fuss over everyone else and I expect when it is my turn, there is a bug fuss as well...

Oh well, guess this is just how the cookie crumbles, the souffle falls, and the cake collapses?????????

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emrldsky Posted 13 Jun 2008 , 7:55pm
post #7 of 34

I just wanted to dad forgot his and my mom's 27th wedding anniversary, her birthday 5 months later....and he then forgot their THIRTIETH wedding anniversary. icon_wink.gif

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staceyboots Posted 13 Jun 2008 , 7:55pm
post #8 of 34

sounds like a surprise party to me icon_razz.gif

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gottabakenow Posted 13 Jun 2008 , 7:57pm
post #9 of 34

could be a surprise, if not, make yourself a cake- one that you always wanted to try! happy early birthday!

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Superstar2 Posted 13 Jun 2008 , 7:58pm
post #10 of 34


Where are you? I'll celebrate your 37Th Birthday with you. emrldsky could be right, maybe Steve is planning a surprise. Keep us posted.
Happy birthday for Monday.

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awolf24 Posted 13 Jun 2008 , 7:59pm
post #11 of 34

I'm so sorry! Sending a big hug your way...

I say you book something great for yourself this weekend - like a manicure/pedicure, massage, new haircut/color, go get some great shoes - splurge on something to pamper YOURSELF! Then you find a great bakery, and get yourself an amazing dessert or small cake and ENJOY IT!!!

I know this isn't the same as your husband making a special day for you but you definitely deserve a pick-me-up. icon_smile.gif

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dinas27 Posted 13 Jun 2008 , 8:01pm
post #12 of 34
Originally Posted by ibmoser

Oooohhhhhh - big cyber ((((((hugs)))))). Don't fret - maybe he is planning a surprise. If not, drag him away Monday night for a nice dinner and dessert wherever you would like to go. You deserve it thumbs_up.gif


I was thinking a surprise too... but don't want to get your hopes up either. I know Indydebi wants a big party for her 50th ( I hope thats the right # icon_redface.gif ) and she planning it herself because she knows her husband wont do it. Or at least not the way she wants it.

I think its good that your family/in-laws appreciates the nice things that you do for them... if they don't reciprocate in any way then shame on them! Treat yourself to something nice on your birthday, a fancy dessert, massage, pedicure and be confident that you are a great person and that somewhere someone is definately thinking about you and how wonderful you are.

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darandon Posted 13 Jun 2008 , 8:02pm
post #13 of 34

I can totally relate to you

Make yourself a cake, something you have wanted to try - and then don't share it with anyone!

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Babarooskie Posted 13 Jun 2008 , 8:09pm
post #14 of 34

I think some of us understand how you feel. We always make cakes/cupcakes for birthdays, etc. but we never get anything in return. Last year I was shocked that I got one! But then again, I had to ask, "Who's going to make me MY cake???"

It could be a surprise party..but I agree that you should pamper yourself this weekend. if you have kids, leave them with Steve and you go. Far away and enjoy. Get a massage, new clothes, SHOES, PURSES, and did I mention clothes?? LOL

Happy Birthday to you. If you were in Miami, I would definitely make you a cake!!
Happy Birthday again!

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DesignsByMandie Posted 13 Jun 2008 , 8:14pm
post #15 of 34

Happy Birthday to you....Happy Birthday to you...Happy Birthday Dear Judy...Happy Birthday to you!!!!!!!! party.gif ~~HUGS~~~ From Colorado tooo....I am so sorry I know how it is...I would make you a cake too if I knew where you were....Hope you have a WONDERFUL Birthday...And treat yourself....And get that cake and dont share!!!!

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CakeRN Posted 13 Jun 2008 , 8:15pm
post #16 of 34

Happy Birthday...and treat yourself to what ever you want. I know it's hard to be forgotten on your special day. I also think and this is just my opinion ...that for the next year that you totally step back and not do any cakes for family or friends ( just a card maybe) and see what they say. Then if they ask say...." Oh..I thought we weren't doing anything special for birthdays since no one remembered mine this year" . That might sound sh*tty but sometimes you need to be heard and heeded.
Go on Strike!.....

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Baking4Fun Posted 13 Jun 2008 , 8:21pm
post #17 of 34

When I read your post I thought I was reading my diary. This happens to me every year!!! I make everyone cakes, cards, presents!! I always wrap presents(I'm a former Hallmark employee) and everyone loves them. If I get a present on my birthday (one week from christmas) it is more than likely in a Wal-Mart bag. Thats where the cake comes from too. Last year was the worst, I took my Mom to the Doctor and she bought me KFC for supper. My husband tries but bless his heart, he just can't get it. I vow to buy myself a cake this year and take myself shopping! You should do the same. Learn from my mistakes, buy yourself a cake and like someone else said, DON"T SHARE. Or you could be like me and vow to not make anyone (but the kids) cakes. They will get the hint! Happy Birthday!!!!

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mayamia Posted 13 Jun 2008 , 8:23pm
post #18 of 34

Ok I know some are going to hate my comment but: when you do stuff for others you should just give without expecting anything that is the beauty of giving, besides it is not your birthday yet, who knows maybe you are finally going to reap what you have sown into all this people's lifes, and you are going to have the party of your life, and if not don't worry, as my hubby says there is no better gift than the one you buy yourself, afterall you know what you really want, so make some cake and eat it too!!!!!

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JenniferL Posted 13 Jun 2008 , 8:29pm
post #19 of 34

Ahhh, I agree with the others about making yourself the cake that you've always wanted! I guess I'm a nerd because I always want to make my own cake so that I can have a flavor that I like (something different), but I end up giving in to someone who wants to make/buy it and I get a generic flavor. Now, I will appreciate the gesture more.

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chassidyg Posted 13 Jun 2008 , 8:35pm
post #20 of 34

Ohhhh, I'm sorry, the same thing happens to me all the time, I know how you feel. I go way over the top, and make them all feel special, and then my birthday gets forgotten. I havent gotten a cake, or present from anyone in 10 yrs.

Make yourself a beautiful cake, and a nice dinner, and enjoy a nice glass of something, spoil yourself!

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Wendoger Posted 13 Jun 2008 , 8:36pm
post #21 of 34

....been there...totally.

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jnoel Posted 13 Jun 2008 , 8:46pm
post #22 of 34

I would start planning myself a last-minute celebration right now. can you make dinner reservations somewhere for Monday? Or at least just pick out a great restaurant to go to? Send out an email to all your friends to come have dinner with you. And let your husband pick up the tab.

I always plan my own birthday celebrations. For my 40th, I reserved a private room in a restaurant, and even created and sent out the invitations from my husbands evite account (with his permission). It sometimes seems sort of sad, but I had a blast. And it would have stressed both of us out to much for me to expect him to plan anything.

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mbasic Posted 13 Jun 2008 , 8:46pm
post #23 of 34

It would be ideal if someone else in your family would/could step up to the plate -- but it does not appear from your post that your family may suddenly take this on -- even in a small way.

Maybe you should take control next year. My sister (living in another city) decided that she wanted her family and friends to help her celebrate her next birthday. She sent out invitations to her own Bday party and requested that no one bring presents (family and friends are what my sister considers the "presents"). Everyone loved it -- it was the perfect excuse to get everyone together and she could plan the party exactly to her specifications.

Sometimes people are intimated by others that may put on a "great" party. Maybe you make it so fun for everyone else that they are now intimidated by your party planning abilities. Just a thought.

Great big cyber birthday hugs to you!

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amytracy1981 Posted 13 Jun 2008 , 8:47pm
post #24 of 34

I don't let this happen to me anymore. A few years ago I had a totally crappy birthday. Nobody even said happy birthday to me when they came to my party (wasn't much of a party either). My SIL thought it was my daughters birthday and brought a present for her. My mom thinks once you turn eighteen birthdays are not important anymore and forgets my birthday every year.
Well i think they are! Why should I be forgotten on my birthday just because I am an adult. So now every year i make sure my husband knows I want a party and I want a fuss made over me. My birthday is right near Halloween so my theme is always Halloween and my husband and I dress up and ask everyone else to dress up too. And we do the house all up spooky. Sure I have to make my own cake, and paln alot of the party myself but at least I am not disapointed on my birthdays anymore.
I think Husbands just don't care about that kinda stuff as much as we do. At least mine doesn't, he never even wants to have a party on his birthday. So unless you tell them they probably think you feel the same as they do.


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twindees Posted 13 Jun 2008 , 9:02pm
post #25 of 34

Ahh, party.gifprincess.gifbirthday.gif HAPPY BIRTHDAY birthday.gifprincess.gifparty.gif.

I feel so bad. Cheer up... Why don't you take yourself out to dinner or something. I do it all the time. I know your feel bummed becasue it's your birthday and you do so much for everyone else, try telling them how you feel. I would, or stop doing it...

To make you feel better. My children are with there Dad for the summer, and my birthday is next month. I will be all alone for my birthday. (This is the first year of this happening) I plan on baking a cake for myself, going to get a spa treatment, and the taking myself out to dinner. Red Lobster which is my favorite.

Cheer up. Here's a big (((((HUG)))) for you. icon_biggrin.gif

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AJsGirl Posted 13 Jun 2008 , 9:28pm
post #26 of 34

I know exactly what you mean. I always end up throwing my relatives' and DH's birthday parties - decorations, cake, gifts, etc, but I haven't had a birthday party or a cake in years. It always makes me feel bad, like no one thinks I am special enough or good enough to do that. icon_sad.gif

This year I'm turning 30, which is a big deal to me, so I'm hoping that someone will throw a party for me. I came right out and told DH I wanted a party and cake. He looked at me with this blank look and asked where the heck he was going to get a cake for me, because I won't eat grocery store cake. I just said nevermind. icon_evil.gif

Sorry for the hijack! I guess I need a pity-party. Wanna join me? icon_cry.gif

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pamconn Posted 14 Jun 2008 , 4:35am
post #27 of 34

It's not too late to just say to your husband that reguardless of anyone else's feelings about birthdays-they are a big deal to YOU. And because they are a big deal to you, they should be a big deal to him.

You would like to have someone buy or make you a cake and, balloons,(the dollar store has mylar ones as well as decorations), and a gift or two would be nice. Hand him the phone and he can call your mother and tell her that his dear wife would like a little hoopala for her birthday.

You don't have to wait until next year. Just tell them you need the TLC NOW!

Oh, you don't have to have cake-how about a birthday pie or cheesecake?

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Curtsmin24 Posted 14 Jun 2008 , 8:33am
post #28 of 34

I cried when I read this post. Seriously, I have been going through this every year. I always go all out for everyone during birthdays and holidays. I feel like no one cares about me enough to show me the love. Even my DH, for valentines day, I went out and bought all kinds of things and didn't get crap. icon_mad.gif

I don't mind going all out on them, but after reading this I have decided that i'm not doing it anymore. I had gone out and bought a bunch of stuff for a baby shower for sil and I told my brother to let me know where he wanted to have it and I would take care of the rest. No, he couldn't handle that, and now I have all this stuff that I can't use until someone else has a baby!!! icon_cry.gif

Let's all meet on cc and have an unbirthday party!!!! We can all buy a donut or cupcake and sit at our computers talking and sipping whatever we can get our hands on. I have instant messenger!!

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Amia Posted 14 Jun 2008 , 9:11am
post #29 of 34

Curtsmin, that sounds like a great idea!

My birthday is usually pretty crappy too, since I seem to be the only person in my immediate universe that isn't a flake. icon_evil.gif And I don't give to others because I expect something in return, but it would be nice to know you mean as much to them (or at the very least, that they think of you enough) to celebrate your birthday.

Your post reminds me of Sixteen Candles...too bad our crappy birthdays can't end with a cake and a romantic kiss with the hottest guy at school (or work, or whatever icon_lol.gif ).

Treat yourself like a princess this weekend, you deserve it! princess.gif Happy Early Birthday party.gif

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illini89 Posted 14 Jun 2008 , 9:13am
post #30 of 34

I love the idea too of an unbirthday party here at cc world!!!!!!!!!!!

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