Why Didn't She Leave It ???!!! Update

Decorating By lynseyg2002 Updated 4 Jun 2008 , 12:37am by Ednarooni

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lynseyg2002 Posted 2 Jun 2008 , 8:54pm
post #1 of 12

I put a post on here not so long ago about the stupid woman who broke my brides wedding cake flowers and then banning me from the reception for calling her a liar. Well I didn't have a phone call about the cake from the bride (even though she was going to complain!) so I phoned her a few days later to arrange to pick up my stand and was told that the cake seamed fine and she didn't notice the break (phew!!!), but then she asked me if I wanted the flowers back as she said ( and I quote) 'I am not a centimental person so I'll keep one spray but the others would just go in the bin' . GO IN THE BIN!!!!!! after all that had work, and all the chasing I have done over the past 18 months!!!!!!! icon_mad.gif
Am I over-reacting? I thought she might have given the others to both mothers.
I have now decided to make a matching spray and sell them on ebay.
But guess what???? she kept the broken ones. hmmm
What do you think?

11 replies
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antonia74 Posted 3 Jun 2008 , 1:25am
post #2 of 12

I'm not a sentimental person either --- so I can totally understand what she's saying here. I think it's actually quite nice of her to offer them back to you instead of just throwing them out. Most people wouldn't think to call you to offer them....or worse yet, might try to get some sort of a "refund" for returning them to you to use again!

I'm sure she didn't mean to insult you. Nobody can know the labour that goes into making those beautiful sugar flower sprays unless they themselves know how to make them.....and brides generally don't.

In all honesty, I wouldn't take the gesture personally at all. I threw my wedding bouquet and most of the leftover wedding cake in the hotel trash the next morning instead of taking stuff home and freezing it or preserving it somehow/someday --- big deal icon_rolleyes.gif . I got the groom & the marriage certificate, I didn't need little bits and pieces saved in a dusty old scrapbook. No offense to my florist or baker for making it....they were gorgeous, just not of vital importance to me, you know? icon_wink.gif

More importantly though, did the bride confront that venue staff about how they treated you??? icon_sad.gif

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butterflywings Posted 3 Jun 2008 , 2:04am
post #3 of 12

UM... i just got one thing to say... CAN I BUY THOSE SPRAYS???? icon_biggrin.gif

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grama_j Posted 3 Jun 2008 , 10:21am
post #4 of 12

Oh, lynsey, I hate to tell you, but once the bride has used the flowers, or any other decorations you may have made the "bin" is where most of them go............They may keep a little sprig of something to rememeber, but that is about it....... Some brides are now even RENTING their gowns so they don't have to mess with them after the wedding. You see so many "fake"or rented cakes too.......... It makes me feel so very sad to see the world go like this.... My generation was, and still is, very sentimental....The days when flowers were pressed in the family bible, etc....Everything is "disposable" now..... IT IS NOT A GOOD THING ! If you want to get into this end of the business, then you just have to harden up and don't take anything to heart...... even though you have poured your heart into the pieces of art you have created, it seems no one else feels the same about it. It is LOVELY for the moment, and then it is over....... I would accept anything she was going to throw out, and reuse it for another time..... that is if you have the space to store it..... might as well get paid twice for it, right ?
Just know that you did a spectacular job for her, and try not to take it to heart that she isn't keeping everything......... Keep up the good work..... you are an artist.......
Love, Vicki
OH! I am assuming she didn't say one word to the venue, right ?

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indydebi Posted 3 Jun 2008 , 10:27am
post #5 of 12
Originally Posted by antonia74

I'm not a sentimental person either --- so I can totally understand what she's saying here. I think it's actually quite nice of her to offer them back to you instead of just throwing them out. (

Me, too. My collection of keepsakes, over a 50 year lifetime, fits in a shoebox. I have too much clutter in my house anyway, so I try to reduce it. (And when I die, my shoebox will probably just get thrown out anyway when the kids clean out my stuff! icon_biggrin.gif ). I kept my wedding topper .... found it all mashed up and dusty a few years later and trashed it ... wondering why I had bothered to keep it at all. The only reason I came up with is because of the famous Posta Rule....... you know, you're "posta" keep that stuff, but no one can really tell you why. icon_rolleyes.gif

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murf Posted 3 Jun 2008 , 10:38am
post #6 of 12

This is why I don't like doing flowers as it's such a waste! All those hours of hard work for them to end up in the bin. At least with my figures, the kids usually want to bite the heads off!! LOL
I'm in agreement with the others that she was probably trying to help rather than trying to annoy you!

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Ednarooni Posted 3 Jun 2008 , 10:47am
post #7 of 12

Sorry to hear that. I think the whole idea from their perspective is: If they pay for it, it's theirs to do as they please. Knowing how much it cost to HAVE it made, I would think they would think twice about throwing anything away..and..that's just how I would look at it, plus I would want something to remember the day by. I agree with the previous comment, it was nice of her to ask you if you wanted them back. I never really realized how much care went into making these things until I started doing some of this myself. I've been watching wedding planners on t.v., and I'm kind of surprised how some brides treat them AND/OR how some wedding planners treat brides..WHO are PAYING for their services.lol This world is NOT like it used to be, things are changing..traditions and/or things just don't seem to mean the same..

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DoniB Posted 3 Jun 2008 , 11:04am
post #8 of 12

My philosophy is that once I've got a picture of it and they've taken possession, it's no longer mine in any way, shape, or form, and I can't get upset over anything that happens to it after that. We make food. Food gets eaten or thrown out. You have to make sure that the pictures you get are the memories of what you've made, instead of the item itself. Because believe me, most of that stuff goes in the garbage with the rest of the disposable stuff. icon_razz.gif

Not that you're over-reacting... the bride is very sweet to think to offer those back to you. You just have to learn to let stuff go and understand that you've been paid for it, so it's not yours to worry about anymore. icon_razz.gif I think that was the hardest part for me to learn, actually! LOL

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cupsncakes Posted 3 Jun 2008 , 11:13am
post #9 of 12

I can understand why you are so upset, but it's true, no one can know how long it takes to make those flowers, so try not to take it to heart. She may have kept the broken ones because she thought that you wouldn't have a use for them, and that the others could be used again for a display / dummy or something. icon_wink.gif

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lynseyg2002 Posted 3 Jun 2008 , 11:47am
post #10 of 12

Thanks everyone, I think I'll just take it on the chin from now on and move on to the next cake. Not everyone is as centimental as I thought. I shoul be greatfull though as the last bride ate hers...LOL

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wgoat5 Posted 3 Jun 2008 , 10:12pm
post #11 of 12

Lynsey I just wanted to tell you that I had a woman who told me the same thing.. but while she was on the phone with me her sister was screaming in the back ground... "IM KEEPING THOSE" icon_biggrin.gif So maybe someone else would want to keep them...Different strokes for different folks.. I on the other hand with hardly any extra space FIND space for my extra flowers or stuff like that... SO if were me I would of kept them!!! Your work is lovely!!!!

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Ednarooni Posted 4 Jun 2008 , 12:37am
post #12 of 12

I agree with everything that has been said , all professionals, I would think like yourself, take pride in their work having deep feelings about how it's received.. My husband owns a landscaping business and he loves to create waterfalls and pavers, and takes time to PLEASE the customer....then...next year or the year after comes around, someone may say, "tear it all out, add this and/or take that away".. He used to take it personally but like I told him, THEY love your work so much, they hired you back to create something else... This client of yours loved your work so much, she offered it back to you.. She must have thought it was too beautiful to throw away.. My husband had to learn that doing a business and having feelings of "are they NUTS?"lol.. is like mixing water with oil. Some professionals care more for the art than the business and rightly so...(sigh) lol...but cake decorators are in the business of selling edible cakes. I think you are probably going to get MORE business from this lady by her telling everyone just how beautiful your work truly is. I hope you show more of your cakes on here, would love to see them.

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