Lots Of Work And Underappreciated. Would You Feel The Same?

Decorating By susanscakebabies Updated 29 Apr 2008 , 2:34am by susanscakebabies

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susanscakebabies Posted 28 Apr 2008 , 4:59pm
post #1 of 15

So here goes I just need to vent a little on this. So a local lady just passed from her 10 yr battle with breast cancer. So the restaurant that I am attached to decided to have a benefit to help the family with medical costs. They asked if I would help and of course I said yes. Didnt really know her but its a good cause. So I ended up being the second in charge of setting all this up. No problem, I was also voluteered to do the cakes for the raffle. again no problem. So I have spent countless hours over the past several weeks working on this, barely seeing my kids and being so exausted. So the final week to the benefit approaches and I am swamp with all my regular work plus trying to get this work done. I am at my shop everynight until about 11pm. Still I have not had a complaint I just work away on all of this. So the restaurant has t-shirts made up for the benefit and come to find out they put sponsorship on it. I think that is nice but then I see there is another business listed who did donate alot of materials but not the time and there is no mention of me. I wasnt expecting that but when the shirts came I was a bit hurt, I thought after all this work I put in as a small bus. with out the means they have in money but I do have lots of conections in town to get things done I was left out. Am I just too sensitive bc I am so tired from all this work or do I have the right to be upset?
Sorry so long. really needed to vent. And sleep icon_wink.gif

14 replies
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HerBoudoir Posted 28 Apr 2008 , 5:16pm
post #2 of 15

Dollars seem to be quantifiable more than time and energy and effort.

Next time, give them a check.

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diamondsonblackvelvet13 Posted 28 Apr 2008 , 5:21pm
post #3 of 15

OOOOO! I totally understand this situation! Been there! Just take a deep breath and remember that what goes around comes around.

And hey....You know...A small word to the t-shirt ordering people wouldn't be amiss either. I mean sheesh, you've busted your tail off for people you didn't even know! Not a "you suck for not putting my name on the shirts" talk but more of a gee, ya know....I didn't expect any thanks but since everyone else gets too toot their own horn I thought it was rather crappy of you not to say thanks to me too...

But hey! this is just my "HUMBLE" opinion....

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susanscakebabies Posted 28 Apr 2008 , 5:26pm
post #4 of 15

Yeah, I did approach it as wow, cant believe you didnt even think of me. Like I said didnt expect it but when I saw the shirt I was a bit taken back. I was also told, not asked that I would be working the entire event so another 7 hrs there. I guess I should be happy I worked it though. There was an eagle statue being auctioned off and my hubby always wanted one and I won it for him, SO I guess that is my big deal in that. icon_wink.gif
I guess I just wanted to see if you all thought I was being a baby feeling slighted. Thanks for the feedback.

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mommycakediva Posted 28 Apr 2008 , 5:28pm
post #5 of 15

Yea, I would be frustrated too! Maybe if you comfortable asking them, you could see y they thought it was ok not to thank you or put you on! Maybe they were busy and it was an oversight, if not remember you did all you could and your the better person than!

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susanscakebabies Posted 28 Apr 2008 , 5:34pm
post #6 of 15

They forgot me in it all, it was funny they ordered staff shirts and she gave me someone elses and said it was mine but they other guy asked for it at the end of the day. I of course gave it to him. I did mention it and they said it was someone else fault. I said it was ok, I just wanted to get a feel from you guys if you thought I was being to sensitive. In a way I am over it and in a way I am still sad that I was never a thought in all of it but everyday I was being checked on to make sure all was being done and set up for the event. I ended up doing as much set up as the main organizer and I guess a part of me is still hurt that I was just never even thought of. Its one of those things if I think about it I am truely hurt but I am trying to not think to much about it and let it go. That's probably the best thing. Just one of those things, I need to get it off my chest or it will keep eating at me. So thanks for listening.

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diamondsonblackvelvet13 Posted 28 Apr 2008 , 5:42pm
post #7 of 15

Ya know,
Regardless of how or even IF they said "Thank you" based on the fact you pretty organised this whole shindig, IIIIIIII feel that it takes a veryyyyy special kind of person to handle all of that and still smile at the end of the day. It takes wonderful caring people to do stuff like this for others without expecting anything in return (altho it certainly is nice.)
Heaven forbid, but if something like this should ever come up again, at least you'll know what would be getting into and choose to do it or not based on previous lessons.

Thanks for helping!

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bobwonderbuns Posted 28 Apr 2008 , 5:45pm
post #8 of 15

Don't sweat it sweetie. I had a situation very similar to that not long ago. I've been teaching a cookie class for 2 1/2 years at a local charity that I love dearly and I've been snubbed at every volunteer appreciation day for the past 2 1/2 years (even though the classes are always big draws and remain very popular.) Finally I went to the executive director of the facility and said that some of my students were asking me why I haven't been acknowledged in the volunteer appreciation venues for the past 2 1/2 years. He didn't even realize that was the case, apologized up and down and vowed to make it right. I had already decided in my mind that if we couldn't come to terms here I'd simply go elsewhere, but I really didn't want to. And when I told DH, he pointed out "who are you doing the classes for, the powers that be or the women with cancer?" Well the women obviously! So I bit it on that one but the Exec. director was gracious about it. You might bring your problem to the powers that be -- and it may be a simple oversite. But we appreciate your work! icon_biggrin.gif

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sweetflowers Posted 28 Apr 2008 , 5:48pm
post #9 of 15

Oh, I so feel for you. I know exactly how you feel, and it just kind of eats at you so you really have to let it go or you'll drive yourself nuts.

It must be the week for ungrateful people. I just did our priest's 25th anniversary cake (for free of course), nothing real big, but it took a lot of time making all the sugar pieces. The lady wasn't even there when I dropped it off, and I never heard one word about how it was. The only difference is I volunteered for this (which my husband kept reminding me of) so I have no room to gumble. tapedshut.gif

I think you need to thank yourself. Take yourself out to a treat with your kids to thank yourself for doing such a great job thumbs_up.gif

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grama_j Posted 28 Apr 2008 , 6:45pm
post #10 of 15

It seems the more you do, the less "they " care...... the next time they ask for something, the answer is "NO", and explain why.... No one has to fall all over themselves to "THANK YOU".... but to be acknowledged would be very nice...... YOU did the right thing...... THEY did not......
((( HUGS)))

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jmt1714 Posted 28 Apr 2008 , 8:19pm
post #11 of 15

but also remember - no one can take advantage of you without your permission. when you were "told" you'd be working the event, you could have said - "sorry - that wasn't my understanding. I'm not available for the day."

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Ballymena Posted 28 Apr 2008 , 8:53pm
post #12 of 15

It is unfortunate that we all go through similar events in our lives and the 'take you for granted' people are always out there. As far as business, you have not lost a thing not having your name on a shirt. I have worked for a large company for 20 years in a community related department and Tshirts are done up for every event with company logos and names on them. I have yet to see someone actually look to see who all the sponsors are, the free shirt usually makes the receiver of one happy for a few minutes and thats all the mileage it gets.
Chin up and say no thanks next time.

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newlywedws Posted 29 Apr 2008 , 12:18am
post #13 of 15

Here's my take on the whole situation, and this may sound harsh, I think you may need to be reminded WHY you were volunteering and WHO the benefit was for.
While you may feel slighted that your name was not given recognition...the purpose of this benefit - was to help a family w/ the remaining medical cost from which they lost a loved one to a hard fought battle of breast cancer. So while you may feel slighted, it would be best to realise that while you may never be recognised for all your hard work, you were a blessing to a family grieving the loss of their loved one.

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KathysCC Posted 29 Apr 2008 , 1:37am
post #14 of 15

I just read an article about this very thing. Maybe what they said will help you. It was about being sensitive.

It said that when something or somenoe hurts us we take it very personal. More often than not, the person who hurt us does not realize that they have done so. While we become frustrated and then angry or upset about the person that wronged us, they may be clueless to what is going on. i.e. my sister didn't call me last week like she usually does (we think, oh she is mad because I forgot her anniversary last month) (reality is that all her kids were sick and she was too busy)

That said, it is quite possible, that though your donation was known about and greatly appreciated it could have simply been a mistake. The t-shirt maker made a mistake. The person in charge left your name off the list. There could be many reasons why this happened, none of which are personal.

The article said that you have to sit back, look at the situation, understand that it may not be personal and try not to let it hurt you personally.

And remember, God knows those who give of themselves without recognition. That is all that really matters.

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susanscakebabies Posted 29 Apr 2008 , 2:34am
post #15 of 15

I agree, I just was hurt that over and over again including today while I am still working on this they keep forgetting about me. Like I said I never did this for recognition but when they gave it to themselves I was hurt that having done so much to help that I was forgotten over and over. I guess in a way in these situations it is maybe best to work through it yourself and leave it at that. It was for a good cause so maybe I should have kept that perspective no matter what obstical was thrown. I think from all the advise that it is best in the future to 1) speak up if I feel slighted-sooner rather than later. 2) work through my feelings myself so I dont come out looking like I was in it for other that what I was. and 3) remember that when all was said and done with the weather putting a damper on most of our festivities we still managed to raise $1000 for the family.
Did I do ok, did I learn I sure hope I did. Thanks for all the advise and support.

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