New Baker.. Need To Vent =( Very Long

Decorating By twinkletoe21 Updated 2 Apr 2008 , 9:57am by agroeve

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twinkletoe21 Posted 31 Mar 2008 , 4:32am
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okey.. this is the only place i know i can vent and hopefully people will understand where im coming from.. =(
Thursday i baked 4 cakes for an order to be picked up on friday night.. I spent the whole day baking and decorating .. woke up at 8:30am and called it the night at 12:30pm eventhough i still wanted to keep going and finish everything so i could relax on friday.
Friday morning, i started decorating my first 3-tiered cake . at around 4-ish in the aftrenoon my MIL called up and reminded me about the cake she wanted for saturday so i was like, oh s*hit! i didnt think she wanted me to make the cake anymore since she didnt call me days ahead to confirm it anyway, i ended up saying okey we'll bring the cake to the party tomorrow. i gave her the price for a 9x13 sheet cake - triple layer - whipped chocolate filling and chocolate ganache icing and some fresh strawberries for decorations for $50 and she said "OKEY". so I ended up finishing at around 8:30pm and not to mention i had to clean up everything myself so that took another hour and a half .by this time, im already dead tired and on top of that, still had to prepare dinner and everything. so SATURDAY comes, I still had to frost the cake for my MIL.. woke up went with hubby to the store then what do you know, i had a voicemail from MIL saying that I had another cake order for thesame party only this time, the lady wanted a $30 cake worth and its a carrot cake .okey so i made a cake that day, frost and decorate two cakes . i had until 5:30pm to finish everything since i had to get ready.

at 7:30pm hubby picked me up went to the party ate the cakes and BAM everyone liked it. then the problem happened, by the time my husband asked his mom for the money, my BIL, in a loud freakin voice infront of me, DH, father in law and MIL, "WHAT? UR CAKE IS $50? give me $5 i can make that cake!" i was like OMG! shut up ur freakin embarassing me.. right there and then, i felt that i was disrespected and embarrased. good thing my husband told him, dude you dont know how long it took her to make that cake and the ingredients arent cheap you know. then my MIL told him., "SHHHH".. this has been killing me since lastnight. i told DH about how i feel but its still hurting me =( am i over reacting here or do i have the reason to get mad at him? im sooo pissed off! and i keep telling myself, its okey, dont let people get to you.

But anyway, i ended up telling DH to tell his mom not to pay for the cake anymore =( im so frustrated right now.. did i price the cake correctly? i even gave them a discount... now i just gave it for free.. =(

HELP! =(

18 replies
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indydebi Posted 31 Mar 2008 , 4:43am
post #2 of 19

And your BIL walked out without cake mashed in his face?? icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

If you are going to no longer charge them, I would be sure to set it up so they at least APPRECIATE it .... by telling those last minute family members that your oven schedule is full of PAYING customers and you do not have time to do their cake. And suggest next time they try giving you some notice .... 2 or 3 weeks should enable you to SQUEEZE them in, since you are SO in demand with PAYING customer right now!

I mean ... if you don't mind using a little sarcasm! icon_rolleyes.gif

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twinkletoe21 Posted 31 Mar 2008 , 4:56am
post #3 of 19

thank you indydebi!

seriously i was THIS close to smashing a cake on his face.. GRRR..

i will from now on NOT take orders from them.. i really told MY mom that, i dont appreciate rude comments like that and id rather deal with NON-family customers than with family.. its just.. hard..

and i dont mind using sarcasm at all.. hehehehe =)

made me smile there

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waterlily Posted 31 Mar 2008 , 5:02am
post #4 of 19

I agree, don't take orders from them anymore!!!

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mommyle Posted 31 Mar 2008 , 5:06am
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Ok. So the next time there is a cake need for a family event, suggest that your BIL make the ****ing cake. In EXACTLY those terms. "I would LOVE to do it, but I'm totally swamped and couldn't possibly, but you know, BIL said that he'd do it, gladly, for $5" and hold him to it. Offer to pay him!!! and then take a photo and post it for us, because I'd LOVE to see what he pulls out of his a** for $5!!!!!!!

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flowers40 Posted 31 Mar 2008 , 5:07am
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What I can't believe is that your MIL didn't say - no way we are going to pay her! People, especially family always want something for free. Let me tell you, I would not care if my BIL screamed it on top of the roof, Somebody would have to pay me! I love baking cakes, but the time it takes me to do it, just seems to drain me! And the worse part, is people just don't have a clue. And someone always says, I can do it cheaper. Funny thing is, if everybody was so able to do it so much cheaper and better, why are places like Walmart nearly having to turn people away! And their cakes all come in frozen and get decorated in a assembly line fashion. What the people here on CC do with cakes, you are not going to get from your run of the meal Walmart and Krogers cake decorating places. What you get from your home and specialty bakers are cakes done with that personal touch! And unfortunately your BIL is too stupid to add it all up!

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indydebi Posted 31 Mar 2008 , 5:17am
post #7 of 19
Originally Posted by mommyle

Ok. So the next time there is a cake need for a family event, suggest that your BIL make the ****ing cake. In EXACTLY those terms. "I would LOVE to do it, but I'm totally swamped and couldn't possibly, but you know, BIL said that he'd do it, gladly, for $5" and hold him to it. Offer to pay him!!! and then take a photo and post it for us, because I'd LOVE to see what he pulls out of his a** for $5!!!!!!!


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Bunniefluf Posted 31 Mar 2008 , 5:20am
post #8 of 19

I agree with Indydebi!! Family cakes only if you have the time and 'want' to do it!

Frankly, I would've taken the insensitive jerk BIL up on his offer and told him that he's on the hook for the next family event cake...and you'll pay him the $5 icon_confused.gif But I'm sure, as with almost all insensitive jerks, he's all talk and not much of anything else!! icon_twisted.gif

You do have the right to be mad about this, and honestly I think you should address this with your BIL...and inform him of how his insensitive jerkiness affected you (and cost you)! I'd probably tell him that if he doesn't curb the comments in the future that the $$ will be coming out of his pocket and NOT your MIL!! icon_surprised.gif The deal made between you and your MIL is NONE of his business!

Whether you choose to discuss this with him or not, for your own well-being, you will have to work through your frustrations and let go of this one; although I'm a bit surprised that your MIL hasn't offered to pay for the cake despite your DH telling her not to...

Good luck...I had to learn this the hard way too! I don't even do 'family' cakes anymore...of course that means that I have to choke down incredibly small pieces of terrible store bought cakes!! LOL! icon_rolleyes.gif

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nelly27 Posted 31 Mar 2008 , 5:21am
post #9 of 19

yer everyone wants love jobs when you do cakes, they for get the price of the stuff you use even the boards arnt cheap
so its the same the world over lol

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iamlis Posted 31 Mar 2008 , 5:21am
post #10 of 19

You know, family is the worst! I seriously will NOT do family cakes! I like my paying customers too muchicon_smile.gif Its not enough that you make the last minute cake, but it should be free now? They are fine eating the cake, paying for it is a hole other ball of wax! LOL! Make DH be your mouthpeice and tell the fam, "My beautiful dear wife squeezed you into a VERY hectic weekend an made out kitchen and lives extremely crazy to offer you free cakes, and feels uncomfortable baking any more family cakes" Let them beg, let them cry, DONT TURN YOUR OVEN ON FOR THOSE INLAWS! LOL! Nah, make up your own mind but they are all wretches! LOL! I am so sorry this happened, we all could tell family stories. I had to send my bro-in law(the ungreatful wretch he is) A spreadsheet that mapped out eggs, cake boards, boxes, mixes, oil powdered Sugar, ETC. that went into my cake that and I quote... "DID NOT COST ME ANYTHING" Did you know it does not cost me anything to bake cakes?? YEAH ITS TRUE! I walk into the wholesale club and they let me walk out with $400 dollars of supplies weekly, Yeah, it doesn't cost me a dime! LOL! Oh family, they are there own post in and of themselves!

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CarolAnn Posted 31 Mar 2008 , 5:31am
post #11 of 19

I wouldn't think much of your mil if she agreed to pay and then didn't, even if you did tell her she didn't have to. I wouldn't make any more cakes for my family if they treated me that way. I made my nieces wedding cake a few years ago and she didn't like it and didn't appreciate a thing I did. I don't offer to make all the family b-day cakes. I eat whatever someone else fixes, unless it's my kids and grands. This isn't my livelihood, so I can afford to choose who I won't bake for. Stinkers like your bil would be at the top of my No Cake list.

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Curtsmin24 Posted 31 Mar 2008 , 5:49am
post #12 of 19

Deb's right!! Family members can sometimes be mean and insensative. Everyone on this site can tell you they have had somewhat of a similar experience. I stopped doing cakes for family not too long ago. My mother is the only one that can get a free cake and the only thing she has an option to change is the flavor and the type of icing or frosting. Design and size is up to me and how much I feel I can spend on materials at the time. I had the same issue with my sis about pricing and she has even offered her friends MY cakes at her set price. She told her friend I would do her cake for $10, a 9'' two layer and gumpaste callas. I told her to not put my name out there anymore and to not smear my name because she will ruin my business. Nonetheless I made the cake and charged her $35 because I felt like being nice. But when it comes to family, they rarely ever appreciate anything. So it really is sad that your bil put you on blast like that. I always ask my mom a month in advance so there are no last minute changes. I know you must be devastated but just try to brush it off. When you got your bakery and your doing your thing then you can tell your bil to come work for you at $1.00 an hr. icon_twisted.gif Don't let him get to you. Just smile and in the back of your head keep picturing yourself being successful at what you love to do.

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JoanneK Posted 31 Mar 2008 , 5:52am
post #13 of 19

What a jerk your BIL is. It was none of his business if you were getting paid or not.

But I would never charge my mother or father and I wouldn't charge my husbands mother or father either.

I will make cakes for anyone in my family for free as long as they ask me to. Of course if I have a paying job I would have to tell them sorry I couldn't do it.

Just my rules. But I also get to make them look however I want to. They can pick the flavor but that's it.

This goes for brother, sisters, nieces and nephews. Cousins and aunts and uncles get one free cake and they I charge from that point on. But again, the free cake is my choice on how I want it to look.

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AKA_cupcakeshoppe Posted 31 Mar 2008 , 6:24am
post #14 of 19

awww i feel bad for you. that was a horrible thing he did. *hugs*

sometimes people just don't appreciate your time, so why bother giving it to them? Just make your cakes for people who will pay for them and appreciate them. you deserve it.

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twinkletoe21 Posted 31 Mar 2008 , 6:26am
post #15 of 19

Im 23yrs old and DH doesnt want me to work but this cake business thing is what i do on the side to help out here and there and besides, this has alwasy been my passion. =) the reason i dont charge my mom and my sister is that theyre both always the ones that encourage me and buys me almost everything i need. VERY VERY SUPPORTIVE and even my brothers and my dad. but with my in-laws, I wouldnt charge too but the thing is, this is what i do for a living and this cake that i did was my MILs gift to the birthday boy. if it was for their birthdays, of course i wouldnt charge at all if I offered to make it but this one is HER gift for somebody else... so you know what i mean? =( i feel bad charging family but sometimes i just have to =(

thank you all for your input..advice and everything.. i really really appreciate it.. im barely starting in this business and i know i have more to learn but i will take this as a learning experience on how to deal with customers, nevertheless.. FAMILY =)

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TheButterWench Posted 31 Mar 2008 , 6:30am
post #16 of 19

Yep, any cake orders , especially last minute orders you can refer them to your BIL and nicely say, that you're fully booked, can't squeeze them in , can't give them a discount but that he has offered to make your same cakes for $5.00.

and then say. As a matter of fact, I will give him the $5.00 myself.

(that should save you any last minute stress put on your shoulders and give good ol BIL a good zinger between his. I hate loud mouths like that . Grrrrrrrrr!)

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Ellistwins Posted 31 Mar 2008 , 12:26pm
post #17 of 19

I know exactly how you feel after doing cakes all day/night long and still have to do the cleaning up, see after everybody's tummys and the kids and the normal chores while the rest is having a good time and then they still expect you to charge charity prices. I give family and close friends discount, but i don't tell them that and I don't offer freebies anylonger. I work full day and have to do the cakes when the kids are in bed. They are still small (3) and still need my attention, so, I have to sacrafice my sleep in order to keep everybody happy and therefore the customers keep my bankbalance happy. And if somebody squeels, they go straight to the NO CAKE LIST.

I wouldn't even have taken that 2nd cake order from MIL. Who do she think you are? Some superhero?

Good luck and I also want to see if BIL can pulls out a cake for $5.

We work in ZAR and Saturday my friend ask me how much I charge for photoimage cake (sheetcake of 25x40cm). I told her R240 and she quickly workes out the cost and told me that is not too much and a good price. Minutes later her mother asked me for the price and she said, oh but its quite a lot. The different opinions of people in different fields. She is a caterer and her mother a teacher. icon_smile.gif

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pastrylady Posted 31 Mar 2008 , 2:30pm
post #18 of 19

What does your BIL do for a living? Does he think he should do it for free? Would he be willing to do his job for an entire day for $5???

I think people sometimes get the impression that because you are baking and decorating that it is, somehow, not a real job. They treat it like a hobby. Remind your family that this is your job and, just like them, you expect to be paid for your work.

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agroeve Posted 2 Apr 2008 , 9:57am
post #19 of 19

i agree, tell your bil to put his money where his mouth is and make a cake for $5. As for charging family, i think in-laws expect more for some reason. my family are very supportive and while i give them a discount they really wouldn't mind paying the proper price but i just don't feel comfortable with it. i use them for tastings, opinions and even ideas so i think its a fair trade. the in-laws however (or most of them) seem to think i can make a cake for next to nothing (they also get discount) and look at me strange when i give them a price like i'm charging them more than anyone else. they want a 'proffesional' cake with all the trimmings for the cost of a non-decorated sponge cake. they think because they know the price of flour they know how much it costs to make them, they forget the extra costs of board, box, fondant, gumpaste etc

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