I hate to keep dropping my life's drama on everyone, but I don't know where else to turn.
My son is visiting for Christmas from Italy (he's in the Army) and is here for a very short time. He has a daughter (out of wedlock) so of course he wanted to see her, so do I, she's wonderful.
The problem is this, the mom had another baby on the 23rd (out of wedlock with some other guy) and they decide that they want photos take on both kids together - today. My son will be going back on the 3rd. The grandpa came by about 7:45 this morning to get the baby and we tried to nicely change the schedule so that my son could be with his daughter and that she was still asleep anyway. This "man" starts arguing with me about how he had already set up things and we weren't holding our end of the deal. He then starts talking to me in a very condescending manner, so I called him on it. He claims I am talking down to him. He keeps going about his issues, I tell him to stop, he says NO! I tell him to stop again, it's a different subject. He finally shuts up so I can ask a question about getting my son's name on the birth certificate (we weren't sure who the father was at first). We have ONE day left to get this done. He wants to do it tomorrow, after he brings back the baby. 
He also tells me that he can and will keep me from seeing my grand-baby. At this time, my son comes back out after waking his daughter and I go get her ready to go.
I am accused of making her sick, letting her face get red (she drools, what a shock!), etc. She comes to me constipated, with a diaper rash, and usually dirty, not very, but, she does need a bath. By the time she leaves, she is very happy, no longer constipated, and clean.
Thankfully, my son, J, gets the grandpa to apologize to me and tells me that he would like for me to get L every other weekend. I love L, but I have other things to do on the weekends and I want do other things besides raise her. It's not my fault that my son and his daughter couldn't keep up their pants!
This man is used to controlling people, especially women. He backed away from me when I stared him down. As I handed L over to him, nicely, he apologized again and told me to only talk to him about visitation instead of his daughter. I told him she could talk to me, but she is not to yell at me as she has done several times. One shouting match on the phone was because the baby's pee smelled!!!!!!! I don't tolerate this from anyone and I hung up on her. So far, it's been three hang ups. What a mess.
This is on top of getting carpet installed, Christmas in three places, having to talk to my ex, taking my other son to the dentist with damage braces (setting treatment back) and wrestling practice, helping my dad get a car from a dealer because my mom can't drive at this time, AND having to take my son back to DFW airport next week so that he can make it back to his base on time. There's more, but I think that's enough burden for every one here.
Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. I really, really hope 2007 goes a lot smoother. 
Thanks again,
Michele
I am so sorry to hear this. The only real way to get his name on the birth certificate is to have blood test done to make sure he is the father as long as you do that he will go on the birth certificate. As for visitation it should be what is easiest for both of yall so if you cant take her some weekends you shouldnt have to and if you feel that you want to see her they should allow you as long as they dont have something going on. As for what happened this morning that is horrible and they should have let her sleep and made the apt. later.
I think the fact that your son wants you to have L every other weekend means he trusts you. Besides would you want your granddaughter in an evironment where her mom thinks that it is bad for pee to smell? Think of this as an opportunity to teach her everything about her daddy while he is away. I'm sure if he could stay behind I bet he would in a heartbeat.
I hope things go better between you and the grandpa. Also keep track of everything that goes on. Even if that means documentating (ie taking pictures) of your grandbaby when she arrives to you and how she is when she leaves you. This may prove useful down the road if there ends up being a custody battle.
He did get the DNA testing and he is definitely the dad, so that is why he wants his name on the birth certificate. He also wants to get her on the military insurance. For this he also needs the updated certificate.
Essentially, the grandpa today accused J of knocking up his daughter and leaving. She had already moved on to another boyfriend by the time she found out she was pregnant. She really hurt J. He was willing to marry her until she started sleeping around. The mom, S, has even told me that she loves J and messed up by breaking up with him. She also said she just couldn't stand being alone. She did her best to keep J out of the military. He was already in it anyway. With the military, J will be able to do much more for L than if he stayed here. He is making much more money than as a civilian.
My husband and I both do what we can to help and to show pictures of J to the baby (15 months old now). So when she saw him, she was nervous, but did recognize him. Did I mention how smart she is? 
I can tell that L's family hates the fact that L loves me. I'm Nanna. Nanna was her first word. See....I told you she was smart. L's family is very controlling and don't like the fact that I'm not easily controlled. 
I don't trust this family at all. They change their minds on things at the drop of hat, won't answer the phone, and then finally call back after seeing our number on their caller ID many times.
I love my son too, but I'm about ready to choke him! I told him what would happen! Dad gum kids. Well, he's got a big, tough lesson ahead of him now!
Thanks again for the support.
Michele
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