This is so not cake related, but I wanted to hear some different opinions and thought that this would be a great place to do that. My husband and I are thinking of adopting a child, as things have not worked out for us (so far) to have our own. I was just wondering if there was anyone else out there that has gone through this process and if you could offer any advice on the topic. I know that it won't be an easy decision but if we want kids then it may be our only choice! Thanks!
Mawagner...My DH and I are both biological and adoptive parents. So I can tell you both sides. I have carried two of our children in my tummy and we have adopted once. I have to be honest with you, there is no difference to me between my children. It rarely crosses my mind. My MIL was opposed to us adopting, she said "you don't know what you are getting". Well I can tell you that there are no guarantees either way. Adoption has been such a blessing in our lives. I can't imagine my life without her. My husband and I are also foster parents and have been so for the last 10 years. We never intended to adopt...but God had other plans for us.
We have know many people who aren't sure about adoption. I only have positive things to say about it. Our little girl knows that she is adopted. She always has. We talk about it just as it is, a blessing for us.
I know it is a life decision for you, and if you have any questions or would just like to talk, please pm me.
Doug wrote
mother to adopted child: you didn't grow in my tummy but in my heart
Thats what we tell our little girl.
Jennifer
I was in foster care as a child and now my sister lives in my care. If you feel that adopting is what you want to do go for it. You will love them just as much as you would ever love your own child. In some cases it may be a long process but in others it may not be. There are so many different places you can learn about adopting a child and it offers all of those children a foundation to grow on. Good luck and I wish you the best.
I have a friend who tried for nine years and finally decided on adoption, the day they got their baby girl my friend learned she was pregnant. So her girls are 8 months apart in age, she says she has one adopted child and one biological child but she forgets which is which. I love that.
To me if you want a child it doesn't matter what route you go to achieve that wish. Giving birth doesn't make you a parent, loving a child does.
We have 2 adopted Grandsons. Jacob was adopted when he was 8 years old, and Darren was adopted when he was 3. The road is not always an easy one, but your heart will lead you. There are so many children that need loving homes - the older ones are soo sad to hear about, everyone wants to adopt the babies. Fostering to adopt is a good way to see what a joy these kids can bring to your life.
does anyone know how much adoption can cost? Mawagner I hope everything works out for you. I am considering this also.
My baby sister is adopted and in many ways I am closer to her than my biological sisters. I was the baby for 12 years before my mom and day adopted her and she was the baby sister I had dreamed about. I think adoption is wonderful. I say go for it. I don't remember it being terribly expensive but then again I was 12 when we got my sister, she was 6 days old and that was 20 years ago so it has probably gotten a little more expensive.
My daughter, who is now 15, was adopted by my ex and I when she was 3. She has been an extremely difficult child since the day she moved in, throwing terrible tantrums when she was young, to sneaking out of the house, lying, and even calling me a B*#@H just this year. It has been a roller coaster ride trying to parent her. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world and I couldn't possibly love her more if I had carried her in my tummy.
It is true you don't know what challenges you may face with an adopted child. I think you have to prepare yourself for the fact that the child is going to have some issues. How can you be given up by your parents and not have a scar from that that you carry the rest of your life? But you can have issues from birth children just as well. I guy I work with and I trade stories about the difficulties we have with our teenage girls. His is grown now but he had a heck of a time raising her. She is his biological daughter and he didn't have it any easier than I have.
So in a nutshell, I would say, absolutely do it. Being a parent is about being there when they're sick, when they're sad, when they're laughing, teaching them and watching them grow. It is an every day rewarding experience from the moment they first enter your arms, regardless of how they got there. Just prepare yourself for the fact that you'll have to help them through some tough stuff. My daughter and I have been in and out of counseling for years and that always seems to help when things get really tough.
Like Ohara, I'd like to offer you my ear if you want to talk. You can PM me anytime. 
Missyleigh - it depends on where you live, where you're adopting from, and what agency you go through. I've had one friend start in the foster system and it didn't cost them much compared to a friend who is adopting from China - and it will be about $25,000 which is pretty standard for there. I would check out your different options.
I am also an adopted child, and I have many positive things to say about it - especially for my biological mother and adoptive parents.
Melissa,
I forgot the cost question. My ex and I went through the county's Social Services and became licensed foster parents. When our daughter moved in with us, she was not technically legally free for adoption yet, but her social worker was looking for an adoptive home because she needed to move her out of the foster home she was in, and she knew it was extremely unlikely that her birth mom was going to get her act together and get her back. She didn't want to bounce the poor kid around from one home to another, so she wanted an adoptive home, but she couldn't technically call it an adoptive placement. The timing just worked out perfectly because we had just that day received our approval for our foster care license and hadn't been entered in the system for adoptive placement yet. Therefore, my daughter was between stages of placement and so were we, so the social worker used that to make an adoptive placement when she wasn't really allowed to make an adoptive placement. I say it was destiny - we were just meant to be her parents.
Anyway, we actually received a monthly payment from the county each month because she was considered a foster placement. Then when she became legally free for adoption and we went through those steps, we paid a very small adoption fee and then the county refunded most of it anyway (I can't remember why). All in all, the actual adoption cost us only a couple hundred bucks, and we received monthly payments for several months prior to that, so overall they actually paid us more than we paid them.
I never understand why people adopt kids from overseas when there are so many kids here who need homes, and it's less expensive too!
The process of getting licensed and adopting her took over a year. I think it took us less than a year to get licensed (we had to attend classes and go through an extensive background check and interviews). Then she was placed with us within two days of getting licensed and we finalized the adoption less than a year later.
Our situation went much faster than they usually do, because we were not insisting on a newborn. They told us that if we wanted a newborn, we would have waited another year or two.
HTH!
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