Step-Son's Wedding - Need To Vent Again!

Decorating By kathys90 Updated 5 Oct 2007 , 12:53am by OhMyGoodies

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kathys90 Posted 21 Sep 2007 , 2:14am
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As a lot of you read in a different post of mine, I've had some issues with my stepson's wedding. The last issue was over the cake, and the shoddy treatment our decorator was shown. An update to that, both bride and groom have since apologized, but had to find another decorator. But that's not why I'm upset this evening icon_mad.gif

I'm as mad as tapedshut.gif tapedshut.gif at his mother!!!! tapedshut.gif tapedshut.gif Tonight was the rehearsal. None of her family bothered to show up at the rehearsal dinner, but I'm okay with that. She's never bothered to show up at any of his other important events....confirmation, graduation, a skinned knee! I've had him since he was 9! She never spent time with him, his little brother yes, but him, no. Unless it was Mother's Day, her birthday, or Christmas! She didn't come to concerts, didn't go to band camp, NOTHING! icon_mad.gif icon_mad.gif He's told the bride to be that when he thinks of his "mommy" its me he thinks of (her words, not mine). For that I'm thrilled. But she didn't even bother to come to the rehearsal either~!

Now its his wedding! The MOB and I get along pretty well. She even told me to go get my dress first. I chose a pretty amethyst pant suit, that looks like a skirt set. I have jewelry to match, it was perfect.

I asked his little brother to let his mom know that I'd started looking, and she was okay with it. I got my outfit, and had him let her know what color it was.

Tonight, I find out she's gotten almost the exact same color!!! The wedding is SATURDAY!!!!! I cannot tell you how p*ssed off I was!!! Her sister told me the color of the dress, eggplant, and I'm like, you're kidding right. She said no, why? I said cause its almost the same color as mine. She's trying really hard to be nice, I know, and I'm trying not to panic, but I just can't believe she did that. Back in the back of my twisted mind I'm sure she did it on purpose! If you knew what a coniving sl*t this woman was (if she hadn't cheated on my DH they'd probably still be together) you'd probably feel the same way!

Now I know, some of you may think that they are two very different colors, but while I was out rushing to buy a new outfit I showed my husband the two colors together. They really are more similar than you think. And how would that look for the two of us to be sitting in the same pew with my DH in between....we'd look like freakin' book ends!!! And with the MOB in navy blue, I'm thinkin' we should start a trio act, you know, like the freakin' Andrews Sisters!!!

Needless to say, I found a gorgeous hunter green outfit, that looks even better than the amethyst outfit, and I'm doing better!

I knew that I could vent to you, my comrades in cake, and you would understand! Thanks for listening....going to see if I can scrounge up some ice cream! Comfort food here I come!
icon_cry.gif

29 replies
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rosita6882 Posted 21 Sep 2007 , 2:43am
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Well, on the bright side you got a better looking dress. Shes probly just jealous of the relationship you have with your step-son and that is wonderful of you have such a great relationship with him. Come the wedding just try to enjoy yourself as much as possible and don't let her ruin it for you.

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lionladydi Posted 21 Sep 2007 , 2:54am
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Read about this happening to someone else one time. The ex had bought a dress just like hers. After she bought a different dress to wear to the wedding, she wore the first one to the rehearsal dinner. I thought that was hilarious. icon_lol.gif icon_lol.gif Shame you have already had your rehearsal dinner.

Diane

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momvarden Posted 21 Sep 2007 , 3:07am
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no she is a attention seeking slime ball excuse for a mother and human being. I think it is terrible. Ok occasionally we all have to miss things in of the lives of the people we love that is just a fact of life, but come on.

Good for you taking the high road.... and don't let her know she made you this mad. Grin as if the world is perfect where you live. icon_biggrin.gif

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indydebi Posted 21 Sep 2007 , 3:27am
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Been there.....

My hubby is actually a step-dad to our 2 oldest kids, but he tells everyone that he doens't have 2 step-kids.....he has 3 kids,period. Our 2 oldest tell everyone that hubby is their "dad" and they refer to the "other guy" as bio-dad or they even refer to him by his first name.

I think you are very generous to have her sitting in the same pew with you. When my eldest daughter got married, bio-dad was going to be seated in the 2nd pew, behind me and my husband. Bio-dad didn't raise her, bio-dad contributed NOTHING toward his daughter's wedding, and daughter wasn't even going to invite him except I told her she HAD to invite her bio-dad!

Bio-dad never showed up. Didn't even call her ahead of time to tell her he wasn't going to show up. Why? Because, at the bride's choice, his name wasn't on the invitation (sorry... I guess the check that represented your half of the cost of the wedding got lost in the mail); because our daughter chose for stepdad to give her away and bio-dad got all pi$$y because he said it was his RIGHT to give her away. icon_eek.gif

Actually none of his family showed up .... the big reason? My son-in-law is black. And they couldnt' deal with that. What a shame they missed out on getting to know a great guy and eventually the best granddaughter in the world!

No matter what she does, you are coming out ahead in this. Sometimes it's hard to take the high road, but it all works out in the end.

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nefgaby Posted 21 Sep 2007 , 3:56am
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I'm soo sorry this happened and happy you found a better outfit! Good for you!

And same here, I've been there, really been there, MY OWN WEDDING!!!! Yes, I was the bride, wearing white and guess what??? My own mother in law ( icon_mad.gif tapedshut.gif icon_mad.gif ) showed up wearing a WHITE dress, a long WHITE dress with rhinestones, YES!!!! Mother of the groom was wearing white!!! I was sooooo mad icon_evil.gif OK, she probably didn't get the memo it was her son's wedding and not hers! icon_mad.gif

OK, back to you... good luck and CONGRATULATIONS! party.gif

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dueter Posted 21 Sep 2007 , 4:19am
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If by some chance she makes a comment on your change in outfits just tell her that a stylist said that an all purple outfit makes anyone look like "Barney". Who cares that its not true icon_twisted.gif That should shut her up for a few minutes. icon_rolleyes.gif

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FrostinGal Posted 21 Sep 2007 , 8:48am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dueter

If by some chance she makes a comment on your change in outfits just tell her that a stylist said that an all purple outfit makes anyone look like "Barney". Who cares that its not true icon_twisted.gif That should shut her up for a few minutes. icon_rolleyes.gif



icon_eek.gif icon_lol.gif
That was a good one!

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VeronicaLuis Posted 21 Sep 2007 , 9:28am
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Imagine... if only you predicted that she would go out and get an outfit the same colour as yours, you could have told her you were wearing fluro pink or some other disgusting colour. Could have been to your advantage!!

In regards to morther (monster) in law wearing white. Isn't that weddin law... you just don't wear white to a wedding.

I have issues with my relatives. I got married when I was 18 yo. Everyone (my family) were all miserable. Happy to report that my DH and I are still happily married 10 years later and 2 kids.

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kathys90 Posted 21 Sep 2007 , 1:02pm
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Ya know, you folks always make me feel so much better!! I LOVE YOU PEOPLE!!! icon_lol.gif

I've decided that I'm going to smile, be polite, and not ruin my step-son's day. He looked so serious last night during the rehearsal I had to laugh! Whether or not I gave birth to him, he's as much mine as hers, maybe more! The men I work with suggested taking a flask with me in lieu of a tranquilizer! icon_rolleyes.gif I'm considering it!

Thank you all for your wonderful support! I'll try to get a photo to post.

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cwcopeland Posted 21 Sep 2007 , 1:32pm
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I'm so sorry the heifer is showing her true colors. I, too like other people on here think you're an amazing person in taking the high road. Everyone at that wedding that matters will also know what an amazing person you are, especially your son.

My husband and I paid for his nephew's (hubby's dead brother's son) wedding a couple of years ago. Nothing fancy but it was pretty nice if I do say so myself. I was really pi$$ed that the bride's mother/scumbag wanted to participate in buying the dress, flowers, etc but not dish out any $$$. I wanted to leave her out as much as possible because I can't stand the sight of her but she never showed up anyway. I decided to take the high road (i even bought her a mother's corsage). During the reception, several people commented on how nice the wedding was and she was taking credit!!!! She was actually thanking people and telling them how hard "we" worked on it. She did not lift a finger to help. Anyway, when she was taking credit for the wedding, some of my hubby's family (who are outspoken rednecks) asked her why she was taking credit for all the hard work and $$$ I put into it. Did my heart good. Besides, it was all worth it because the bride and groom so appreciated it.

Good luck on the wedding and best wishes to the happy couple.

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maisyone2 Posted 22 Sep 2007 , 12:19pm
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I hope you and your family have a wonderful day today!

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kathys90 Posted 23 Sep 2007 , 10:27pm
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UPDATE: Thought I'd share what happened at the wedding yesterday. It was interesting to say the least!

The wedding cake, well, let's just say they got what they paid for. It was free. Now, being a decorator, I, like you all, tend to look a little more closely than most. The untrained eye would tell you that it was pretty. What I saw was a 3 tier bc frosted cake, with cracks in the frosting and the border pulled away from the bottom edge of each tier....not sure how that happens, unless she froze the cake after she decorated it and that's how it thawed. I didn't try it myself, so I can't tell you about the flavor. They served pastries as well, and I'm a sucker for a good eclair over cake anytime!

The MOG, well, the dress WAS the same color as the one I would have worn. Thank goodness I found the green one on Thursday night! My step-son, the younger one, told me that she borrowed the dress. Funny thing though, she told me when I commented on how nice she looked, she said oh, you do too, but I thought your dress was purple? I told her that I'd found one I preferred (as to not make her feel bad). Then she replies, you know I had a green one I could have worn instead. I'm like, if that doesn't tell you she did it on purpose then nothing does!!!!

Anyway, she walks into the ceremony and starts weeping from the moment she sat down in the pew. Then she appeared to have had a few too many when she put the centerpiece from the table on her head, took the scarf that went with her dress and started flitting about the dance floor like she thought she was a ballerina! OMG I was so sorry that my guests had already left....they'll never believe me! Then, while waiting in the line for the dollar dance, there was a very drunk 21 year old man, who stood up in the wedding, in line behind her (yes to dance with my step-son lol), that grabbed her and started dancing with her....she was just enjoying it a bit too much! This is no surprise at all, because she likes them young (my step-son has warned his friends about her in the past, he tends to not leave his friends alone with her...if you get my drift). I think if my step-son hadn't grabbed her hand a when he did the two may have ended up in a clinch....SL*T, SL*T, SL*T!

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GenGen Posted 23 Sep 2007 , 10:52pm
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Image

Image

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princessdepastel Posted 23 Sep 2007 , 10:53pm
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this is the best story ever. thanks for entertaining me tonight! its nice to know im not the only one who has psycho husband's exes! lol. yeah, thats actually part of the reason im divorcing my hubby... icon_lol.gif

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momvarden Posted 24 Sep 2007 , 5:19am
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BRAVO, YOU DID YOURSELF PROUD!!!

she should be ashamed of her self. What goes around comes around.

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adven68 Posted 24 Sep 2007 , 7:21am
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This thread was very intriguing....there are always so many issues during the course of a wedding!!
I'm glad it worked out for you. thumbs_up.gif

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FrostinGal Posted 3 Oct 2007 , 3:21pm
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Just another "Way to go!"
Class always outshines crass.

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ValMommytoDanny Posted 3 Oct 2007 , 11:58pm
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You did great! Congratulations on your handling of the day. Glad it turned out well. icon_smile.gif

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punkinpie Posted 4 Oct 2007 , 12:16am
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When my parents were married both of their Mother's turned up at the ceremony with the exact same dress but different colours. One was white with blue the other white with brown. It's pretty funny to look at the pictures. Thankfully everyone thought it was hilarious and no one was upset by it.

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babynewyear Posted 4 Oct 2007 , 12:31am
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Im glad yours turned out well. I wonder how often it really happens.
I looked all over for a dress for my sons wedding. I didnt want there help and ended up getting one out of state. Well I showed up in the same dress as there 80 year old grandma icon_confused.gif ( she had gotten the dress in the same store out of state.)
I have a picture of the two oldest stand by bridesmaids. icon_wink.gif We had fun with it. ( you just have to sometimes) She didnt have my shoes though! icon_rolleyes.gif

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KitchenKat Posted 4 Oct 2007 , 10:12am
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Hi. Just to throw in a different thought...perhaps she thought you were meant to match? I know of some weddings where the B&G coordinated the colors worn by the moms. Not that it excuses her other inappropriate behaviour or change the fact that she doesn't sound likeable

Just a thought...

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kathys90 Posted 4 Oct 2007 , 12:20pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mom_of_4_boys

Hi. Just to throw in a different thought...perhaps she thought you were meant to match?




I thought of that too, but not until after I stopped laughing about the "centerpiece ballerina"! Anything is possible, but she is a pretty nasty woman!

Thanks for your input mom_of_4_boys!

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chloe1979 Posted 4 Oct 2007 , 12:36pm
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Don't feel so bad--my mother in law decided to wear a white dress to her son's (my husband and my) wedding.

At least she wore white leather pumps so I was smiling in my mind at how people were probably thinking she was nuts...

So, I can understand where you are coming from. Some people have no class.

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Granpam Posted 4 Oct 2007 , 12:56pm
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Quote:
Quote:


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi. Just to throw in a different thought...perhaps she thought you were meant to match? I know of some weddings where the B&G coordinated the colors worn by the moms. Not that it excuses her other inappropriate behaviour or change the fact that she doesn't sound likeable




First BRAVO for taking the high road. When my oldest daughter got married she had a total black and white wedding and moms were instructed that included us as well.

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OhMyGoodies Posted 4 Oct 2007 , 1:11pm
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Congrats on not killing her!!!!! icon_biggrin.gif I'm a step mom to three wonderful children and like your situation if she hadn't of cheated on my husband they'd probably still be together.... he put up with so much she cheated with so many different people and their last two children were being questioned as weather he was the father or not... but there's no question! lol They all look alike including our daughter.

She is just as bad as your son's bio-mom icon_wink.gif (stealin' your words Debi sorry lol) she's a major sl*t and MUST be the center of attention at all times! For the first 7 years of our relationship she claimed she was dying of cancer and even claimed she was pregnant by him and had a miscarriage shortly after they split which was impossible because they hadn't been "together" for months prior to us meeting.... anyway all the lies caught up to her and she was diagnost last year with Lupus and wasn't given a very good out look. To put it nicely she won't be seeing either of their wedding days so I won't have to go thru this thank goodness (sorry if that sounds rude but ya gotta know her to understand just how bad it is).

We've been together 10 1/2 years now (11 in february) and she's since remarried twice and is "happily" married now but still flirts, runs around half naked, brings up their life together (not the kids the memories...), has him do all the little husbandany things and still thinks it's alright to call him hun... well I clutch my fists and sit on my hands the entire time we're there and then blow as soon as we leave. I can't bare to be the reason we don't see the kids for another 6 years...

Their oldest is 15 1/2 and she has nothing to do with him. He lives with her mother and has since he was born an she gets him one weekend a month IF that and then complains when we take him fishing or he comes to visit us or help us with the house renovations etc.... it's just one big arguement for the last 10 1/2 years icon_sad.gif

Anyway - sorry to hijack the thread just wanted to explain I know exactly where you're coming from... Hang in there... the end is near babe icon_wink.gif even if it's 20 years from now... the kids are getting older and growing up and not needing her anymore and once the last one is grown and married and "gone" you won't have to deal with her anymore icon_wink.gif

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kathys90 Posted 4 Oct 2007 , 2:45pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OhMyGoodies


We've been together 10 1/2 years now (11 in february) and she's since remarried twice and is "happily" married now but still flirts, runs around half naked, brings up their life together (not the kids the memories...), has him do all the little husbandany things and still thinks it's alright to call him hun... well I clutch my fists and sit on my hands the entire time we're there and then blow as soon as we leave. I can't bare to be the reason we don't see the kids for another 6 years...

Their oldest is 15 1/2 and she has nothing to do with him. He lives with her mother and has since he was born an she gets him one weekend a month IF that and then complains when we take him fishing or he comes to visit us or help us with the house renovations etc.... it's just one big arguement for the last 10 1/2 years icon_sad.gif

Anyway - sorry to hijack the thread just wanted to explain I know exactly where you're coming from... Hang in there... the end is near babe icon_wink.gif even if it's 20 years from now... the kids are getting older and growing up and not needing her anymore and once the last one is grown and married and "gone" you won't have to deal with her anymore icon_wink.gif




I'm glad I'm not the only one dealing with a woman like this!!! My DH and I have been married for 12 years, and their youngest just turned 18! So, except for his marriage (years away I hope) and any first baby showers for either of the 2 (again, years away I hope), I don't have to deal with her any more!!! YEAH!!! icon_lol.gif

When my DH had his heart attack 2 years ago, it was a bad one, he nearly died, she showed up at the hospital expecting to be let in to see him. My BIL wanted to kill her! The whole family waited to see if I would let her in. I didn't. My BIL took me aside after she left and told me how glad he was that I hadn't let her in...that my DH didn't need her confessing all her sins to him when he was in a coma! My reasons for not letting her in were purely selfish...I was afraid he'd wake up while she was in the room and think they were still married. He made it through, and there are days he doesn't even remember their life together, and it bugs the crap out of her!!!! I'll admit, that part does make me smile a bit...

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OhMyGoodies Posted 4 Oct 2007 , 7:42pm
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Oh I bet! icon_wink.gif God works in mysterious ways sweetie maybe that's why he made that happen so he could forget a few times a year how bad she hurt him icon_wink.gif

I'm dreading the day we come to buttin heads over the oldest... I just sat down and talked to her about my place in his life and how me and his father were handleing him having sex at 15 and she wigged out bad! but not nearly as bad as I expected lol. Then she informed me and their daddy that when his daughter starts her monthly's she's going on the pill and she's not telling her what it is going to tell her it's a vitamin or something.... so yeah we're buttin heads over the whole thing of teenage sex and stuff right now lmao can't wait for it all to be over not to mention child support will stop when they move in with us lmfao icon_wink.gif

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kathys90 Posted 4 Oct 2007 , 9:29pm
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We've been pretty lucky in that regard! The boys used to talk to their dad about stuff like that. His older 2 children, from a previous marriage...yes, I'm number 3....were more of a challenge, and their mom was a freakin' nutcase....where did he find these women!!!!!

When his daughter got married, his ex made us go through this elaborate wedding, we paid for all the decorations (the reception was in the church hall), and we didn't really need to go through the motions. She didn't tell us that the daughter had been married by a justice of the peac 2 weeks before. She thought if she told us we wouldn't pay for all we did... If she'd told us, it would have saved everyone the cost of new dresses and tuxes. We would have been happy to help pay for a reception, without the deception! Then, the daughter (just like her mother) had the nerve to call us, after we'd put out close to a grand, to ask us where the gift from us was! My DH, who was still healthy at the time, told her she'd already gotten it and to be happy with that. She hung up on him! Like we're made of freakin' money or something!

Sometimes ya just have to laugh at the sheer stupidity of people! Don't ya! icon_lol.gif

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OhMyGoodies Posted 5 Oct 2007 , 12:53am
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I hear ya! We haven't gotten anywhere near the wedding party yet but man is it rocky already lol. The oldest comes to me and his dad about the sex stuff because his grandmom would freak and so would his mom. The way I see it is if you continually tell them no don't do it they're gonna do it that much more lmao at least this way he can come to us if he needs protection or something and we can "hook him up" lmfao.

The way I see it is I ain't ready to be a grandmom at 28 lol I'll gladly raise another baby because we've been trying for another for 8 years but evidently God only wants hubby to have 4 lmfao but I'm just not ready to be a grandmom so I'd rather go get him the protection and have him use it then to have it collecting dust somewhere under his bed or something and end up being a 16 yr old daddy and having to drop out of school like hubby did.

Basically learn from our mistakes and don't make them lol. But she doesn't see it that way. And yeah I'm wife #3 too lol his first wie cheated on him too and he's on the birth certificate but not 100% on if it's even his child lol... Ok well the oldest is on the phone so I'd be go icon_wink.gif

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