I agree that being a step-mom is a tough gig.... I am one to 15 and 20 yo boys.
However, I would say something to her about the check being no good.
Or maybe she knew that it would bounce? Something smells funny around here!!
I think that I would make your original cake then make a small.. cake/cupcake with what she wants on it 
.
Then when you get there give her back the money and tell her that you had already planned what you were going to do but you still wanted to make a little something that she would like as well.
That way she knows that you did ignore her but you aren't going to get walked on either
Good Luck 
Strange.........I don't know what to make of it. You did a good job of handling the situation. I'm not sure I could have done as well. It would have taken me biting my tongue in two to not tell her about the check.
When there is a stepparent or stepchild involved, things usually get pretty complicated. Obviously she thought he would see the humor in Stuart Little being on the cake--perhaps more to the story than she wanted to reveal to you (maybe an intimate conversation or something).
Anyway, it is over and it sounds like everything worked out okay. Good for you. 
Diane
I think my step mom has it worst.
She and my dad were married when I was 25/26 years old. We found out when he waltzed into the restaurant with her on his hand and announced they had been married about 3 months.
She has been trying to please us since because I think she smelled anger and we smelled fear.
My oldest sister wants nothing to do with him, my other sister will only when it benefits her.
I live an hour away from him so I see him the most. Yeah he's an idiot, no he's not perfect but he is my dad. That's an entirely different thread in off topic though... LOL
Stepmom's.. yeah any time she sees my mom giving me something for a collection she starts doing it too. Major irk. Everything my mom and I do she involves herself with. She's clueless about it so I keep my mouth shut and my collections discreet.
She doesn't have it easy because she has stepped into a marriage with years of bad blood between my father and his daughters. She is clueless and tries so hard to fix things that the others don't want fixed. I have come to accept them and refuse to shut them out because he's a wonderful grandfather to my kids. She isn't the warmest of personalities but she has a great heart not only for my dad but for our family and she tries.
Step parenting has got to be the single most hardest job out there. Hats off to anyone doing it.
I think my step mom has it worst.
She and my dad were married when I was 25/26 years old. We found out when he waltzed into the restaurant with her on his hand and announced they had been married about 3 months.
She has been trying to please us since because I think she smelled anger and we smelled fear.
My oldest sister wants nothing to do with him, my other sister will only when it benefits her.
I live an hour away from him so I see him the most. Yeah he's an idiot, no he's not perfect but he is my dad. That's an entirely different thread in off topic though... LOL
Stepmom's.. yeah any time she sees my mom giving me something for a collection she starts doing it too. Major irk. Everything my mom and I do she involves herself with. She's clueless about it so I keep my mouth shut and my collections discreet.
She doesn't have it easy because she has stepped into a marriage with years of bad blood between my father and his daughters. She is clueless and tries so hard to fix things that the others don't want fixed. I have come to accept them and refuse to shut them out because he's a wonderful grandfather to my kids. She isn't the warmest of personalities but she has a great heart not only for my dad but for our family and she tries.
Step parenting has got to be the single most hardest job out there. Hats off to anyone doing it.
I think my step mom has it worst.
She and my dad were married when I was 25/26 years old. We found out when he waltzed into the restaurant with her on his hand and announced they had been married about 3 months.
She has been trying to please us since because I think she smelled anger and we smelled fear.
My oldest sister wants nothing to do with him, my other sister will only when it benefits her.
I live an hour away from him so I see him the most. Yeah he's an idiot, no he's not perfect but he is my dad. That's an entirely different thread in off topic though... LOL
Stepmom's.. yeah any time she sees my mom giving me something for a collection she starts doing it too. Major irk. Everything my mom and I do she involves herself with. She's clueless about it so I keep my mouth shut and my collections discreet.
She doesn't have it easy because she has stepped into a marriage with years of bad blood between my father and his daughters. She is clueless and tries so hard to fix things that the others don't want fixed. I have come to accept them and refuse to shut them out because he's a wonderful grandfather to my kids. She isn't the warmest of personalities but she has a great heart not only for my dad but for our family and she tries.
Step parenting has got to be the single most hardest job out there. Hats off to anyone doing it.
i can relate to the not being told about the marriage thing i was about 16 when they got married, and they didnt even tell my brother and me. i found out b/c my step sister wanted her to sign a paper n she handed it to her mom n said here sign it "suzy jones" and my step mom said my names not "jones "its "smith" then there was no further discussion on it. my step sister was there n she knew about it but not us. we try to get along with her for my dad, and we havent had any fights or anything with her b/c we keep it all to ourselves . I know step parenting isnt an easy job and im not trin to be mean to her or disrespect her, but being a step child isnt always easy either.i didnt enjoy growin up hearing her call my mom cruel names, but i did. i know there are some good loving step parents out there but there are also some not so good ones either.
Being a step-mom is a really tough gig. Maybe dad loves her too.
Yah - I can see how difficult it can be. I'm not the step-parent in our family but am amazed at how my hubby has filled that role with my son. My parents divorced/remarried when I was older. I think that can make the job of being a 'step-parent' much more difficult, too....
I can see where it would be. I think that when they re-marry when the kids are grown, it's even harder, in some ways. I recently asked my DH if we should invite his step-sister. Now, we've seen the woman and her family maybe 3 times in the last 6 years, and she hasn't bothered to keep in touch or see us if his dad and step-mom aren't involved. I only found out AFTER the wedding that she was really jazzed about finally having a large family (it was just her and her mom for most of her life, and her mom was an only child), and that she was deeply hurt that we didn't include her in the wedding stuff. (I did, however, make it very clear to her mother that I was not the one who did the final cut on the invite list, and that I had talked to DH about it several times, because I thought her feelings would be hurt. Future brides: do what's right, not necessarily what he wants! It's less heart-ache in the end!)
I don't think anyone was questioning whether the dad loves the step-mom, but whether she has a right to try to gank a tradition that was established before she hit the scene. I think that the original poster did a good job by compromising. I probably wouldn't have gone that far. 
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