Teenagers, Husbands, Lessons To Be Learned.

Lounge By cakescraps Updated 21 Sep 2007 , 3:49pm by emmascakes

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cakescraps Posted 18 Sep 2007 , 10:31pm
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So, this morning before I left the house, I got a call on my cell phone from my DS (not quite 16). Could I bring him some different clothes because "his friend dumped vitamin water all over him"? Truth be told, they were horsing around and the water got knocked over. Just happened to spill on his white shirt and light grey shorts--red vitamin water, of course. I told him no I couldn't because I still had to drop off DD at school and get to work on time. He got mad, and thought i should just call my office and tell them that something happened and i would be late.

I think he needs to learn how to solve problems without Mom or Dad rescuing him all the time. Yes, I could have been a few minutes late to work without any hassle. I have very flexible hours and work close to both home and school. My thought was that this is a no harm, no foul type problem that he should be able to solve himself.

DH thinks I should have done it. That it was no big deal for me and "do you really think they will learn to stop horsing around? That's what teenage boys do" No, I don't think that will be the lesson, nor is that the lesson I intended. For me, it's more the "think about the consequences of your actions" lesson. Wearing a dirty shirt didn't hurt him, and maybe he will maintain control of the situation a little better next time.

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twinsline7 Posted 18 Sep 2007 , 11:04pm
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I wouldve done exactly what you did also!! and Im a stay at home mom ....so there wouldve been no time excuse for me mine think!! Just last week my 15 yr old called from school and said "mom, I forgot football pants....." I just sat there and didnt say anything ...he repeated "mom, I forgot...." I cut him off and said ok., thanks for letting me know.......

he got so upset with me and whined mom how am I gonna practice....Im gonna get in trouble with coach...MOM ...MOM MOM MOM! ......I said well I'll leave them downstairs if you want to run home afterschool before practice....but no Im not bringing them to you....especially since I asked 3 times before he rushed out the door...DO YOU HAVE EVERYTHING! .....he also "forgot" to take the trash that morning.....so I reminded him and he said ok fine hung up....

there hasnt been a morning since that he hasnt either had everything...or come back 2 seconds after walking out the door to grab something! ....and my trash is out every day icon_biggrin.gifthumbs_up.gif

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twinsline7 Posted 18 Sep 2007 , 11:08pm
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oh...and let me add that my husband chimed in with ...well serves him right....then tried to sneak the pants out the door on his way to work!!!!!!! icon_confused.gif then laughed when I took them and said ...man youre a hard tapedshut.gif



icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif ....I do not want a 30 yr old mommas boy...mom I cant pay my rent ...mom I lost my job again what do I do mom ...kinda man ...no way no how!

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mkerton Posted 18 Sep 2007 , 11:13pm
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I am glad my Mom helped me out a bit in high school (saved my rear a couple of times).....and I moved out and have been paying my way since I was 19 (including renting an apartment while going to college full time nights/weekends so I could hold down a job)....... Did I mention I graduated Magna Cum Laude??? So I dont think that help she gave me made me a lesser person.......now I am not saying that either of you should have done anything different (but I do know what happens in athletics when you are not prepared...think suicide sprints..........) but I was fortunate to have been saved a couple of times. I think it totally depends on the situation and the person.

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cakescraps Posted 18 Sep 2007 , 11:49pm
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Update.....He changed into his gym shorts and wore the dirty shirt. He told me he thinks he should carry one of those Tide pen things in his backpack. All is well, and he came up with his own plan. icon_biggrin.gif

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tchrmom Posted 19 Sep 2007 , 12:03am
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I like the idea that I got from the mother of one of my students-- each child gets one "rescue" per year. After that, they deal with the consequences on their own. I like it because we all mess up now and then and want some help, but I agree that we have to be careful not to enable our kids to be dependent and helpless.

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mkerton Posted 19 Sep 2007 , 12:07am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tchrmom

I like the idea that I got from the mother of one of my students-- each child gets one "rescue" per year. After that, they deal with the consequences on their own. I like it because we all mess up now and then and want some help, but I agree that we have to be careful not to enable our kids to be dependent and helpless.




OH absolutely.....thats a good one...... I know I didnt call my Mom wanting rescued more than once a year........but I was sure glad that she helped me out when it was important to me.

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AuntieElle Posted 19 Sep 2007 , 12:42am
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I'm laughing while reading! when my DS, now 9, was in 1st grade the school nurse called and said he had wet his pants. DH and I were both very shocked as he had never had an accident like that. She said, "Bring, socks, underwear and new pants." I was just dying for him! DH said he'd handle it so I stayed behind at home. DH gets home about 20 minutes later LIVID! DS had a spot of urine on his underwear about the size of a quarter. That is hardly wetting your pants! DH asks school nurse why she said to bring all those things if he didn't need them? She says that they are not allowed to assess how wet the child is. DH tells DS that he better have shoes full of urine next time he has wet his pants. It never happened again.

Elle

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mbelgard Posted 19 Sep 2007 , 12:48am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AuntieElle

I'm laughing while reading! when my DS, now 9, was in 1st grade the school nurse called and said he had wet his pants. DH and I were both very shocked as he had never had an accident like that. She said, "Bring, socks, underwear and new pants." I was just dying for him! DH said he'd handle it so I stayed behind at home. DH gets home about 20 minutes later LIVID! DS had a spot of urine on his underwear about the size of a quarter. That is hardly wetting your pants! DH asks school nurse why she said to bring all those things if he didn't need them? She says that they are not allowed to assess how wet the child is. DH tells DS that he better have shoes full of urine next time he has wet his pants. It never happened again.

Elle




That's sad, they should be able to check something like that. Our school has clothes for those times with the younger kids. My son wet his pants a couple times in kindergarten, he'd never had an accident since he'd potty trained so we couldn't believe it either. They even washed and dried the dirty clothes and the one time late in the day when he wet we just had to wash and send the borrowed clothes back.

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indydebi Posted 19 Sep 2007 , 1:39am
post #10 of 16

When my oldest daughter was in middle school band, she played the flute. We had constantly been on her about not leaving it on the floor where it might get stepped on and broken....it was expensive. ONe day hubby found it on the floor and put it up FOR her. Next day, before school she can't find the flute. Hubby tells her she didn't put it up, so she can just go to band today and tell the band teacher that she was irresponsible with the flute and dad wouldn't give it to her. If she sat in band one day with no flute, she might figure out that actions have consequences.

Never had a problem with care of the flute again.

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twinsline7 Posted 19 Sep 2007 , 1:42pm
post #11 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by AuntieElle

I'm laughing while reading! when my DS, now 9, was in 1st grade the school nurse called and said he had wet his pants. DH and I were both very shocked as he had never had an accident like that. She said, "Bring, socks, underwear and new pants." I was just dying for him! DH said he'd handle it so I stayed behind at home. DH gets home about 20 minutes later LIVID! DS had a spot of urine on his underwear about the size of a quarter. That is hardly wetting your pants! DH asks school nurse why she said to bring all those things if he didn't need them? She says that they are not allowed to assess how wet the child is. DH tells DS that he better have shoes full of urine next time he has wet his pants. It never happened again.

Elle





omg my 2nd grader did this last year!! He calle dfrom the nurses office and said I had an accident can you bring me some clothes....so of course I immediately felt horrible for him and quickly gathered clothes, dressed the boys and went to the school....unloaded the boys rushed into the school got to the nurses office and there was my 1st grader all smiles sitting there.... icon_confused.gif ...well I though tto myself he doesnt look wet....I turned to the nurse and asked if they gave him a borrowed pair of clothes....she says " oh no he wouldn't have anything to do with the "borrowed box"....I turned to him and asked " but youre dry?"....he smiled real big and said no Im not "Ive got a pee spot!"........ooohhhhhhhhh I couldve hung him from his toes! I think the nurse too because her jaw was dropped and said...I thought you said you peed your pants! ....I was so blindsided by the "spot" I didnt think to ask her how she couldnt tell!

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cakescraps Posted 19 Sep 2007 , 5:52pm
post #12 of 16

Funny how thta little spot bothers them so much when they are young, but as grown men who know how to prevent it, they can't be bothered! icon_surprised.gif

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CambriasCakes Posted 20 Sep 2007 , 6:54am
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Kudos to you Cakescraps for letting your son suffer the consequences! I think that's a major problem with our society today - no one wants to be held accountable for their actions no matter how minor the situation may be. It's hard for me to follow through sometimes with my girls but you've got to stick to your guns. I have a friend who has a 25 year old daughter and a 19 year old son who've been out of the house for a few years but still call her constantly to bail them out of situations. She even handles their finances and bills for them otherwise they'd be late on their payments every month. How pathetic is that???

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Doug Posted 20 Sep 2007 , 9:41pm
post #14 of 16

my mom (countless times)

you made your bed, now lie in it!

---

you did the right thing

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heather2780 Posted 20 Sep 2007 , 10:19pm
post #15 of 16

So glad to hear Iam not the only one with this problem. altough very sad to hear it doesnt end even in high school. my DS is a second grader and he still forgets everything it drives me nuts. and he has a teacher this year who is very strict about getting everything in on time nothing is excepted past the date its due. and he never remembers. we have the same morning and bedtime routine we have had since he started kindergarden and yet when he finishes breakfeast he stares at me im done mom. well go brush your teeth you would think after 2 years of doing the same thing everym onring he would get it by now.

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emmascakes Posted 21 Sep 2007 , 3:49pm
post #16 of 16

Make these kids a chart if they need it, list everything they need to take on the given day of the week and let them tick it off as they leave the door. That way they get a bit of support for their memories but the onus is on them to go through the chart. Works right from age 6.

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