I guess I am posting this because well..ya know....a 14, 10 and 5 year old usually doesn't listen and SHOULD'NT listen to adult conversation. Don't get me wrong...I love my kids...but is this all??? I mean life in general...I feel like I am stuck in between a rock wall and it gets closed in by the minute. I really have no problems here at home, I have a good husband that takes care of us well and 3 bright children that are on the most part, well behaved. (FOR PRETEENS and young child). BUT.....I feel as though I am missing out on life somewhere somehow there is something more....DO you ever feel the same way? I mean...I NEVER want to leave my family, I love them all dearly...but...this town drives me crazy....these sparatic (sp?) cake orders AND last minute deals which I promised I would never do, BUT DO. I have NO adult conversation through the day...well except on here when we give each other advice..and I appreciate it wholeheartedly. But just how long can a person go without any interaction with something other then caking and kids? The day here is cool and almost fall like...which is nice it has been very hot lately and this week only in the 70's (chili for supper tonight). Kinda depressing though...ya know the dreary weather....I even found myself weeping this morning over the cake layers I was making....do I sound crazy yet??? Cause I am feeling crazy lol.
Sorry just want to spout out cause I don't have anybody here to spout out to lol.
I know how you feel!
(((((((big hugs))))))
That's why I go to "mommy meetings" at a place called "the meeting place". I've been going for 8 years now, and even though I'm now I'm the one mommy with the older kids (ages 9, 11½ and 13) I still need that "adult" contact. We meet once a week, for 2 hours. It's our community center that offers that. maybe you could look for something like this? I also try to do aqua-aerobics, that makes me see some more adults!I'm sure you can find some things to do to meet other moms that feel the same way... sometimes it's just what you need!
I'm sending you big hugs!!
Pootchi I hate that someone feels the same way I do..but in a way glad to hear I'm not the only one...does that make sense? Unfortunately we don't have a support group like that around here nor do we have anything to do with excercise. (nearest big city is 2 hours both ways)
I guess that is why I am sooo depressed...because there really is no cure all here. Not one iota of a cure for my ailment. I think I am going to talk to dh about maybe getting a part time job (all kids are in school now). It will be hard BUT...no kids to have to put in daycare if I can find something with their school hours (Yeah right I live in a one horse town). Something to get some adult communications.
Hi christi,
I know exactly how you feel too ! At least you have your hubby to talk to 
I'm a single mum with 5 kids - 18, 12,11,9 ,& 22mo .I gave up work before my last was born & sometimes I go stircrazy from no adult contact ! I really need to get a job,but then what do I do with my youngest ??!!
I am right there with you sweetie. My husband is a workaholic and my son (my only child) is 19 and working. So lots of times, all day every day and most evenings, I am alone. The thing that has saved me: I have been a member of (for 24 years) a women's friendship group called Beta Sigma Phi which meets a couple times a month. It's an organization which has about 300,000 members in countries all over the world. We meet for socials and cultural programs, we do community service and charity work, and we get together to EAT! And we talk and laugh and appreciate each other as women. There might be a group near you, you never know. What town are you in? I can look and see what's near you. There are even online chapters. Here's a link to the webpage: http://www.betasigmaphi.org/index.shtm
I think all stay at home mom's go through this. I knew it was a issue when I started telling DH that he should "potty up" before he left the house 
Thats when I knew I had to do something. Check with the local school and see if they need volunteer help in the office. Even if they only need someone to help with the kids at least you can meet more people and look at some different walls 
Remember you are not alone in this. Oh yeah, don't forget to "potty up" before you leave 
Thank you all for the encouragement and support. I don't know...I just guess you expect more out of life sometimes. Last night was a bad night and this morning doesn't feel any better. I gotta drive 60 miles by myself just to get cake boxes for my orders 
and it just gets to me. It would be nice if I would of had a friend to ride with me but of course Im not the norm around here ...Im a sahm so... alone during the week definately. AND I think this effects my decorating skills tremendously...because when I am in this mood I don't want my orders at all....in fact I almost called my people and directed them to another baker...but I didn't because I knew I'd probably lose them. Just draggin my @$$ guys
Right there with you.... I've gone in and out of that feeling several times. I've even thought about going to the doctor thinking there may be a pill to make me feel better. I just hate the thought of that, though.
I have 2 little ones... one just started pre-k (half days) and the other still home with me. Some days are great... others, not so great.
However.... it seems that with the bad, comes the good. When I get that isolated feeling... I start calling friends. I miss the people I use to work with and the daily 'grind' sometimes. I try to remember that I have a lot to be grateful for.
If you can't find a part time job to fit your time schedule.... how about volunteering somewhere? The kids schools, church, etc....... maybe something along those lines would help. I know you said that you are in a pretty small town.... but are there any other SAHM's that you know of? There may be someone there who is feeling the same way as you too.
I hope your day will get better.
Christi - YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! I understand completely. I go through "phases" of depression where everything feels like it's "closing me in" and I wonder where I lost myself. I also live in a small town. SAHM of three - ages 5, 4, and 19 months. My 5 year old is in kindergarten and our 4 year old is in Young5's two days a week. I always take them to school and at least then I get some adult interaction. A quick chat with the teacher, a chat with the secretary (she's a doll), and some conversation in the parking lot with other parents...most who are going through the same things. I realize that's not the best, but it's something and it's a nice way to start your day! Plus, in the afternoon you can see those parents again and chat some more waiting for your children to be dismissed from class.
Do you have any interest in getting a college degree (or building on to one you may already have)? I have an associates degree and am currently working on a Bachelor's (only 7 more classes). Okay, I take online classes so I can still be home with the kids, but you wouldn't have to do that. You could go to campus and meet new people.
If you have some college, would substitute teaching be a solution for you?! Although by the time my kids are all in school I will hopefully have my Masters (in business), I don't want to jump in the workforce full time. I still want to be available for my kids. My plan is to substitute for awhile. Don't have to work every day and only work when kids are in school. Plus weekends are free to do your cakes.
I have NO friends who live in my small town. All of my friends have spread out and I rarely get to see them. I never have anyone to do anything with. I shouldn't say that...my younger brother and sister live about 30 minutes away and I do spend time with them, but they are full time college students, single, no kids...not exactly my peer group, you know?!
Does your school have a PTA/althetic boosters you could join? My kids go to private school and I belong to the Home and School organization. Its a group of parents working together to raise money for the school. I volunteer for everything we do.
Not to push relegion on you, but IF you belong to a church (or perhaps wish you belonged to a church), there are usually groups you can join there as well.
I think feeling this way is common. I do at times. I'll start to wonder what am I doing with my life?! But then I realize...I am BLESSED beyond words to have my children and the HONOR of raising them. There is no greater gift in life then to be a mother. That doesn't mean we shouldn't strive for more and that we can't be someone else as well, but the reality is we already have to best "title" in the world!
Sorry this is so long, I just wanted to let you know my experiences. I hope this helps some! Jodie
I'm sorry to hear you haven't been feeling well lately. Hopefully, things will get better. I agree with others who've suggested trying to seek out adult contact by joining groups or getting a part-time job. Along those lines, I would also suggest finding something that you can do just for fun. Even though I'm sure you like cake decorating, it's now a job for you (at least sometimes), but maybe there is something else that you can do, just for pure enjoyment.
If there is a family doctor that you could talk to about the way you've been feeling, he or she might also be able to give you some suggestions. Even if the doctor suggests medication, that doesn't mean you have to take it. The doctor could also check for other things that might affect mood to make sure that the problem isn't caused by something physical. He or she might also have some good suggestions for you in terms of referrals.
Great replies to a more common than you know problem!
I've been there. My cure was reaching outside myself. Giving back. I volunteered at a rescue mission and a nursing home. The thing that did it for me was finding those in so much more need than I was myself. I was in a tiny spec of a town and it took me an hour to get to anything of size. I drove the hour to the mission, but the nursing home was local. If you don't have either of those at your disposal, find an elderly person or couple that needs help. Now there are people who have NO one.
I've taken elderly ladies shopping--Then have lunch with them. If you're anything like me you'll learn so much from them.
Are meals on wheels in your community?? If so they always need someone--so does the Sr. Center.
My youngest is 15, and I'm a sahm--kinda! I keep very busy. DH's job is flexible so when we decided to shake the dirt off our feet and move, we did. Best thing we've ever done. Even DS is thriving so much better. Still
in a small town, but closer to so much more.
Force yourself OUT. Fake a smile at first if you have to. Trust me on this one, once you start volunteering, you'll become very popular and you'll have to turn down adult conversation! "Its a good thing!"
One more thing...I've long been a believer of teaching my kids that there is always someone much worse off than you. Like the old saying, "I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met the man with no feet"
Hang in there! You'll beat this and come out better than ever. 
I am very thankful to have people on here that understand my situation...
I do belong to a wonderful church and I have offered my services (caking and other wise to them).
I think what I need to do is this...
#1. Get my big butt OFF of the couch and QUIT feeling sorry for myself...You know...one of my all time sayings is.."there is always someone worse off then us" to my kids...And ya know what? I am NOT abiding by this saying at all..I am feeling almost selfish I guess. Because I know there are people on my own road worse off then us. People around here are so closed in. Like they NEVER got out of the 50's .... you don't offer help, it's like an insult. But I want them to know that I am here willing to help with anything.
Thanks guys I needed a push in the ole arse to get me motivated to quit feeling sorry for myself. Because I really have no right to. Maybe HORMONES?
Christi
It could be hormones, or just plain old depression. It's pretty common. I have problems with it, too. I actually have sort of the opposite problem, since I started volunteering. I'm PTA President (right now: membership drive, fall fundraiser), VIPS member, Cub Scout awards chairman, Boy Scout committee member, church education co-chairman, & chair of our church 50th anniversary this weekend! I'm so overwhelmed, I can hardly function!
So, if you volunteer, try one or two things at a time! Just remember something a therapist once told me, when you feel down, but are kicking yourself for being down: People say "I once cried because I had no shoes, until I saw a man with no feet" - therapist said "Did that make your feet feel any better? NO, but it helped you appreciate your situation!" It's okay to be sad sometimes, but don't let it get the best of you! HUGS!!!!
I agree that it could be depression-- and if it goes on for more than 2-3 weeks or really gets worse fast, I hope you will get help. It is NOT a character issue. You can rationally recognize that your life is good overall, and still feel lousy-- been there and done that and hope that I NEVER go back. And all this was before I was married or had my son. Just know that it CAN get better, and sometimes you can pull yourself out of it, but if you can't, don't wait around in misery-- get some help. It's out there in various forms-- talk therapy, medications, natural remedies, support groups. Good luck with all of it.
Depression is very real and can be very serious. I went through a bad bout of it years ago. Google depression symtoms, take an on-line test. See how you come out.
If you are depressed, there are medications to get you through this and back on your feet. It's not always a life long medication issue, sometimes just enough to get you back to functioning and when the doctor says ok, he'll wean you off.
{{{{{understanding long distance hugs}}}}}
I have loved reading this thread. I often feel like this. My friends and family are all thousands of miles away in africa. Its an expensive 22 hour flight to see them. Sometimes I hear myself yelling at the kids and wonder who I have become. But I know it will be better. Soon I will be able to get a job and financial issues will start to get better. Kids are in 1st grade and preschool now - so in a few years I will probably be here complaining about how useless I feel!
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