Today was the first day of school. Last year my son took a snack each day. It had to be a healthy snack and each child brought their own. Well, today (new teacher) we got a note saying that the teacher would supply the snacks this week and beginning next week the children will take turns supplying snacks for the class. This really annoys me!!

First of all, my kids have dairy, egg, and peanut allergies. Although she sent home a note stating "no peanuts", that does not ensure all parents will read labels and look for things stating...peanut flour, peanut oil, made in a facililty that processes peanuts, etc...I prefer to monitor what my kids are eating and not have the responisiblity of what they eat lay in the hands of parents who have not dealt with and may not understand the severity of food allergies. In additon, "no peanuts" does not cover dairy and eggs.

In addition to the seriousness of food allergies, what if they bring in something another child does not like?! That child has to go hungry?! My kids have breakfast at 6:30 in the morning and lunch is not until noon...that's a long time for a 4 and 5 year old to go without a snack! I'd hate to be the mother that brings in something someone doesn't like.

I'm thinking about telling the teacher I will supply my children's daily snack so I don't have to worry about allergies and such. Is that wrong?! Sorry to ramble, I'm just annoyed! In this day and age with allergies so prevalent, I'd think it would make more sense for everyone to just supply their own snack.

Any advice?! Thanks. Jodie

I think it would be completely appropriate for you to supply your own snacks. I actually think it is very thoughtful of you not to expect the other parents to be able to accommodate for your kids' allergies and that you are willing to do it yourself.

I say for the safety of your kids and for your peace of mind, go ahead and tell the teacher that. If anything, you are making it easier for her so she doesn't have to worry about it and you are not expecting her to accommodate your particular circumstance. I understand that with today's allergies, it makes more sense for everyone to supply their own. But maybe she is trying to make it easier for some parents by only have them have to provide many snacks for one day rather than having to provide one snack every day.

Since you have a child with special food needs I think it's best and easiest for everyone if you insist that your child bring their own snacks in. If I got something saying no peanut I would read the labels and not bring something that could have come in contact with peanuts but that might mean that I bring in yogurt which won't help a child with dairy allergies. It will also be a little nicer for the other kids, they won't have to be so limited in what they get.

It is a step often used to make life easier on everyone when snack is provided by one person so all the kids have the same but special problems require special handling.

I work in an elementary school, and the whole "snack" issue is very difficult for a lot of teachers. At our school, even though parents are supposed to send snacks they often don't. Every teacher in my school end up supplying snacks for their kids on many occasions. I'm just guessing that your childs' teacher has had problem with her students bringing in snacks and this is what has worked best for her.

However, I'm sure if you explain about your childs' allergies she won't have any issues with your child bringing their own snacks. If she doesn't understand how dangerous food allergies are, she should speak to the school nurse about it. You have every right to keep your child safe at school.

Please don't be mad at her. Teachers are constantly trying to work out so many things for so many kids!

I don't recall getting a snack when I was in school!

Our school wants kid to bring $.50 for ice cream every day. It's a school "fundraiser." Phhhbbbbllllllltttt to that! My kids can have ice cream on Friday, but otherwise I send in grapes, apples, carrots, etc.

I think in your case it's perfectly fine to say "thanks, but no thanks."

I'm definitely going to talk to the teacher in the morning. Hubby and I talked it over and have decided we will put a snack in the kids back pack each morning so we don't have to worry. Our kids are pretty good about knowing what they can and can't have. This way if the snack being given out is safe (fresh fruit or veggie), they can have what the other kids are having. If it's prepackaged they can have the snack we sent...that way we just don't have to worry about it.

The school is supposed to be nut free. It's posted on the front door as you walk in that you may not bring nuts into the school, but from experience people just don't get it. Last year every holiday my son would bring home bags of candy full of reeses, snickers, etc...so I know people just don't understand!!

JodieF-I understand what you are saying. I know that many parents often do not do what is asked...my sister teaches head start in another school district and the stories she tells. However, at this school it wouldn't be an issue. It's a very small private school and ALL the parents are very involved. But it is this teachers first year at the school...perhaps she doens't realize how dependable the parents at this school are!! I'm not at all mad at her. I'm just annoyed! Like I said, it worked out wonderful last year when everyone supplied their own snack and I just assumed it would be the same. The whole thing is frustrating!!

thems_my_kids - ice cream?! Seriously? That's crazy!! I can see occasionally, but every day?! That's something we would miss out on...dairy allergy.

Well, thanks to all for the advice. Like I said, I'm going to talk to her. I'm sure it won't be a problem. From what I gather, there must be another child with a nut allergy in class as well. So at least I'm not alone! Obviously, children's health must come first. I'm sure it will all work out. Will let you know how it goes when I talk to her tomorrow and see what we come up with! Thanks again.

Jodie

My mother-in-law was an elementary school teacher for over 25 years. She says that if you talk to the teacher, and she is still insistent upon the children all eating the snacks provided by a different set of parents each week, to ask her to sign something stating that she will personally be held responsible should one of your children have an allergic reaction to something brought in. She says that should clear that up for you really fast!

I too have had a problem adjusting to the everyone bring a snack for the class rather than yourslef thing. My DS says they have grham crackers and and animal crackers and dry cereal most all of the time. plus if a parent doesnt send snack for the whole class that day or there isnt a reserve they dont get snack at all. I have sent in snack on several occasions now but frankly I just cant afford to send in for an entire class what I could buy for just my DS to make sure that he is haveing a good heathly snack everyday and in the right portions. But as I already have so many issues with this new teacher for example half the class including my son having to pull cards for laughing at a funny commercail during a move she was trying to play when I talked to her she said by laughing the kids were actually makeing fun of her and that they were very rude. sounds very immature on her part to me.

I agree that it is probably for convenience-- both for her and the parents. I am a teacher (who dealt with food allergies in the classroom before my son was born) and now am a parent of a peanut-allergic son. I cannot imagine that any teacher would mind your taking care of the allergy problem so he/she doesn't have to worry. I agree also with whoever said that it is actually helpful of you to take that worry off parents who don't know what to read for on labels-- assuming they read the labels. I know that I always appreciated that-- and still do when it's an allergy I'm not so familiar with. And even if I am, everyone's comfort zone is different. I know that my son's preschool is happy for me to do the baking for parties-- since he happens to be the only allergic one in his class. And just to compliment them, they are WONDERFUL about being careful. If they can't find a label on anything they serve, they don't give it to him. They substitute something they have or safe things I bring and keep there. They will even keep cupcakes I bake in the freezer for times when other kids bring birthday treats.

Good luck in talking with the teacher.

Good morning everyone. Thank you all so much for the support. I was just feeling so frustrated yesterday when I saw snack time was changing from last year. I talked to her this morning and explained how serious the allergies were. I told her I appreciated her letting the other parents know about the peanut allergy. However, allergies are a tricky thing and people don't always know what to look for...my children have a dairy allergy and there are words other than milk for dairy...people may not even know what to look for. I just TOLD her (I'm sorry, this is TOO serious to jus ASK her) that I would be packing them a snack everyday. If the snack brought in is fresh fruit or veggies that my kids know are safe they are welcome to have it. If it's prepackaged I prefer them to have the snack we packed. No worries that way and if the other parents miss something (it's easy to do...esp. when you don't know what to look for) then it's no big deal. I feel better now. Thanks again. Jodie

heather wrote:

Hubby and I were talking about that last night. I usually send a 100 calorie pack snack or a piece of fruit (depending on what I've packed for lunch)...for the two kids it doesn't cost anything additional because I'm buying those whether they are home or not. But to have to supply snacks twice a month (I have two kids in the same class) will cost us extra and that's really hard on us. I'm a stay-at-home mom and we live paycheck to paycheck. Add the fact that our kids are in private school and we're paying tuition each month, the additional expense will affect us...esp. right now. Hubby just got back to work after 6 months of unemployment in which we had to drain our savings to get by. Talk about tight. Now we're playing catch up and trying to keep food on our own table.

I also agree about having no control over what they are eating, or the portions. Are they getting enough?! Too much?! It's frustrating!!

Just curious-- how did the teacher respond? Was she understanding?

You are absolutely right about people not knowing what to look for, especially on the dairy. At least with my son, it's only peanut. I feel for you.

And you are right to just tell her that the system won't work for your children.

Just curious-- how did the teacher respond? Was she understanding?

You are absolutely right about people not knowing what to look for, especially on the dairy. At least with my son, it's only peanut. I feel for you.

And you are right to just tell her that the system won't work for your children.

Another thought... if it's in your budget, you could volunteer to provide something non-perishable and peanut-free to be the "reserve" snack, with the caveat that your son gets to have one if for any reason you forget his snack on a day when they're not having fruit.

I resent it anytime the school dictates that I WILL provide something for the entire class. I am raising my kids ..... I'm not taking on everyone else's kids to raise, too. It's a little presumptuous that every parent can afford to send in 30 snacks, even if it is just once a month!

When I was a kid, we had morning or afternoon milk, depending on when our lunch was. THAT was "snack".

My children are not permitted to do fundraisers either. 51% of my property taxes goes to the school systems (and if you missed the big protest(S) about the recent property tax issues in Indiana, then you missed the big story!) plus I pay outrageous book fees every year .... in a state where the state constitution guarantees every child a FREE education. I am not writing a check for $50 worth of chocolate to raise money for a school system that is bleeding us dry and not producing kids who can read.

I've been dealing with public school systems for over 20 years and with a high level of irritation! .... 4 more to go and I am SO DONE WITH THEM!!!! I am sick of teachers who are in the position of teaching my child and they seem to not know what the heck they are talking about! For example:

My daughter's English teacher didn't like it one bit when I referred her to a specific page - it may have been page 824 or something - of the Rise and Fall of the Third Reich for an exact example of what she had taken points off in my daughter's paper. I asked her, "Are you telling me William Shirer doesn't know how to write?" She put the points back on.

This same teacher also took points off for a "misquote" from John Lennon in which he said "me wife" She told me it should be MY wife. I said, "Not if it's a direct quote and that's how John Lennon said it!" SHe put the points back on.

My son built a model of a Nazi concentration camp and he had some gallows in the middle of it. Teacher tried to take points off because "they didn't hang Jews". Hubby and I BOTH pointed out his error (again, referencing Mr. William Shirer's work) and the points went back on.

Teachers CLAIM they want parents involved .... but they really hate it when I get involved!

But back to your issue .... I will provide my own child's snacks, thank you very much. I don't need a village to raise my children .... I do just fine!!!

My son started 1st grade today... there's a statement about snacks on the form... "due to allergy issues, we will be having a morning snack time. We will be asking parents to send a large box of crackers to help out from time to time."

Then a description of the crackers they will eat were listed.

Thank goodness! It's crackers for snack!!! *happy dance*

In Kindergarten they would have teddy grahams, and other high sugar snacks brought in. UGH!

This is in response to the poster who claimed teachers don't want parents involved - I'm a teacher - at the moment I'm teaching 7 year olds and we DO want parents involved, many times I feel I care more about he children than their own parents. Imagine having 31 children and having to make a decision, thousands of decisions every day that suits every single one of them. It's bloody hard work. You have no idea what the job of a teacher is like, it's not easy, it's incredibly emotional, draining and at times genuinely harrowing.

I think she just meant teachers might not like her particular brand of involvement... as in pointing out when they're wrong! Some people are generally just more receptive to correction than others, and teachers are no different... some can handle it, some get all huffy.

Emma's, I have no problem with good teachers..... my kids have had many of them and I loved every one of them. And we have always made a point to let those teachers know how much they are appreciated and specifically what they are doing that "makes a difference" in our child.

It's the "non-good" ones that irritate me. The ones who SAY they want parents involved, but what they really want are parents who think the teacher is a god and just bows down and does everything the teacher says and believes everything verbatim.

My youngest had an arrogant a$$hole for a teacher. She hated him and after a number of meetings with him, so did I! I happen to be one of those moms who stands up for their kids. I do not blindly or flat out take their side every single time ..... but when a teacher is wrong, I will tell him so.

Another instance: Daughter was in band. Band director said kids had to stay until the end of the concert. Her part was over in the first 20 minutes. I was NOT staying for another 2 hours. Sorry.....I work full time and I run a business. I'm functioning on 4 hours sleep a day. I told her to tell him she was leaving after their part was done. If there was a problem to have him call me. He called me. I explained (calmly) that I didn't have time to sit thru a 2 hour concert. He said it was to teach the kids how to sit thru a concert. I lost my calm and told him, "First of all, *I* take my child to theaters and plays and *I* have taught her to sit thru performances. Second, when you assign HER to stay for 2 hours, you are in effect assigning ME to stay for 2 hours, and you just don't have that authority. I am leaving after her performance and my duaghter is going with me." He said when she got to high school, this would affect her grade. I said, "Well, then we'll be having this conversation again, then, won't we?"

Do not try to intimidate me. you are ONLY the teacher .... *I* am her parent.

Indydebi, I imagine that you are a great, common-sense (as well as book sense) kind of parent. However, for every lousy teacher story you have, there is a teacher with a clueless parent story. And I'll bet this is true for pretty much any profession you can name. From what I have found, defensiveness regarding criticism, unreasonable rules, and the like are not limited to any one profession or group of people. I am glad to hear that you have had some good experiences with teachers, because not only do most of us work very hard (and not just during school hours and during the school year) and care very much about all our students, the amount of respect and appreciation we get varies tremendously from area to another and one family to another. Your first post was smearing the profession with a fairly broad brush, though from your second it sounds as though you didn't mean it quite that way.

I have had to provide snacks for only my children and I have also had to supply snacks for the entire class. It really does not matter to me which way it is handled. I enjoy preparing healthy snacks for the class. I have a recipe book of healthy classroom snacks, so I like to try different things. If my kids had food allergies though, I would definitely notify (not ask) the teacher that they are exempt from the whole class snack thing. I'd provide for my kids myself.

tchrmom, I appreciated your comments very much.

I have no doubt that a group of us could match story for story. "Irritating Parent" stories tick me off just as much as "Irritating Teacher" stories! (and irritaiting sales clerks, and irritating BMV employees, and..... Hmmmm. does anyone else see a pattern here? Maybe I should move that last nerve that everyone always seems to be on!! )

Now if they'd just make me queen of the world and everyone did things MY way, there wouldn't be any problems!

Alright indi debbit we bow down to the queen.
I was very fortunate last year my son had an amazing teacher just incrediable she became one of my very dearest friends even though we are seperated in age by more than 35 years. I called her the other day and told her she spoiled us she says she gets that a lot. Iam a pre-school teacher so I understand that teaching is hard and not rewarded nearly enough. But im with you Debbie If I dont agree with a teacher i'm not just going to let it go. Why on earth would I want to teach my children to just roll over and play dead when someone is clearly wrong how is that helping them in there future? I'm holding back my final judgement on his teacher this year until I get to know her a little better but so far it looks like she and I will be haveing some lengthly conversations this year.

I think how parents confront teachers can be damaging if not handled properly as it teaches children that disagreeing with authority all the time is the thing to do. I regularly get 'I'll tell my Mum' about all sorts of nonsense and parents come storming in 'You took my kids drink bottle away from him' uh, yes...he was throwing it at people in my lesson which little-Billy didn't mention to Mum. It gets to the stage where discipline in school is totally undermined by constant complaints from parents and then the same parents complain to the media that it's schools' fault that children these days are so unruly and disrespectful.

I am a very good teacher indeed, I love the children in my class and work very hard to ensure their time at school is happy and productive. Unfortunately a lot of adults have a grudge against school and pass that on to their chlidren.

tchrmom wrote:

She was actually quite nice about it. I just told her that although I appreciated her letting the other parents know about the allergy, there's no way for me to know that they really "get it". I told her my children were welcome to enjoy any of the fresh fruits and veggies but anything else they could just have their snack. She was fine with it. In fact, she then started telling me that her baby has been unable to switch from formula to milk so has an allergy himself. I think that probably helped her to understand. I was nice about it, no reason not to be, but I was also firm. I didn't ask, I just let her know.

Indydebi - Sounds like you have some issues with public schools We are very blessed to have a wonderful private Catholic school right down the street. We decided to send our children there for a number of reasons and have been rewarded for doing so. The teachers and staff are all so warm and welcoming. The kids are treated like they are all family. Parents are not only welcome but encouraged to participate. I grew up in the public school system and I went to a nice school where I got a good education, but it's nothing compared to what my children are getting. I realize how truly blessed we are and I wish all children could have a school like we have.

I hope I didn't come off in my original post as being mad at the teacher or not liking her...I was just frustrated with the whole situation. It's really hard when your children have allergies and letting them go is hard. Peanut allergies are life threatening! And my son had a SEVERE reaction to eggs. I had to rush my baby to the ER because he broke out in hives and was struggling to breath. I know that people who haven't experienced that just may not realize how serious it is and that's why I was frustrated. I prefer to take care of my children and let others take care of their own. Plus, I don't want my kids to have to feel "different" when they can't have what everyone else is having. But it will all be fine. Nothing against the teacher. She's new so it's only been a couple days, but so far she seems to be doing great with the kids!

I have read through this thread and am wondering-WHERE IS THE SCHOOL NURSE???? In our district before the students arrive for the first day our school nurse sits with each teacher individually and goes over the information about any student who has any kind of medical problem. Those with allergies have an entire protocol written up. Every staff member who deals with that child has to read it and sign off on it. Each teacher has to have the info sheet available-with the child's photo in the front of their planbook and a copy in the substitute folder. These issues are sometimes life threatening and need to be takes seriously. I can't believe all schools don't do this.

In my class the kids are encouraged to bring healthy snacks, and at Back to School Night I tell the parents that it is nice to have some crackers etc. as a back up for children who forget their snack. I can count on a few of the parents to continually send in bags of snacks because they realize that in our school we have the "haves" and "have nots" Some students live in houses priced over a million and some are in the church's homeless shelter. They happily help me make sure all the kids have a little something to eat each morning. Bless them! Most of the kids enjoy eating the "shared" snack rather than their individual ones, they love the feeling of sharing & all having the same thing.

Without making this post too long by quoting Indydebi and Doug, I agree with both. I agree with Indydebi that in assigning a kid to stay at a performace the teacher is in effect making the parent stay. With our schedules this may seem unfair to us as adults. When my daughter play JV sports, I went to all of her games. I found it upsetting that her coach required her to then stay for all of the varsity games. Which meant that I had to sit there with a 2 and 4 year old. I finally told her coach that is was just too much for me to sit there with two small kids, especially when the varsity games ran past their bedtimes. He wasn't pleased, but he conceded. Sports games are very frequent and this was just too much. When I sign my kids up for dance, gymnastics and other extracurricular activities--I go into it knowing that I am expected to be there for the entire performance when they have a meet, recital, etc. These don't happen as frequently as sports games. Yes, my schedule can be hectic, but I do agree wholeheartedly with Doug that it is important to support the school, staff, and other kids with your presence. I would hate for my kid to be the last performer only to walk onstage and find that there was no audience.

I will be involved with my kids when they go to school, but I am not going to question every mark down they get on papers and such..... honestly in the real world things are unfair, we dont get the promotions we deserve, we dont get the raises we deserve etc etc.... I have had some wonderful teachers, I mean truly I had wonderful teachers both in my Catholic school (where I went preschool-8th grade) and my public high school. I can remember my Junior year, I was in an advanced composition class (kind of a college prep thing) the teacher was demanding and eccectric to say the least. He mortified me once by noticing that I had a dryer sheet coming out of my pants leg....I hated him for pointing it out in front of the class (his point was that you should always strive for excellence whether in your appearance, actions, etc etc)........but he also probably helped me in ways he will never know or understand. We had to keep a daily journal (100 words a day) but the topic was always our choice. While in that class my cousin (who had just turned 24) died of an extremely rare disease and it happened so fast...quite a shock. I was writting about the loss of my cousin for days upon days upon days......it was all I thought about ya know? After picking up our journals (to verify we were doing them) I got a note requesting that I not write about my loss anymore, that I find other things to write about. Again I was LIVID......how dare he comment on my journal when my whole family was in so much pain....... but in retrospect I think he just wanted me to take note of other things in my life, force me into contemplating more than just this one awful event. I now think he was right, and he helped me move forward more than he will ever know. I have no doubt that the constant writing (and the big paper we had to do) paved the way for a successful college experience.

I also had a wonderful 8th grade teacher with whom I still keep in contact, she attendend my graduation from high school, college, and my wedding. At my wedding she presented me with a collection of work I had done my 8th grade year. She kept a file cabinet of all past students work, and looked for events to distribute it to years later (which I didnt know about until my wedding day). Never have I met a more dedicated teacher. This lovely lady's hubby died a year ago, and you wouldnt believe the line of people waiting to express condolances, it took hours...most of us former students of hers. It was almost like a sad class reunion.... that is how much she touched us all.