Hard Time Being Happy?

Lounge By pinknlee Updated 7 Nov 2006 , 2:23pm by barbara-ann

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pinknlee Posted 2 Nov 2006 , 10:37pm
post #1 of 21

Does any one else have a hard time being happy? I really try but, it seems like everytime I am happy it turns to being unhappy. Does anybody else have this problem?

20 replies
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mvigil Posted 2 Nov 2006 , 10:45pm
post #2 of 21

Some times if I feel bad my days just gets better when one of my boys just tells me somthing lovable or they give me a BIG HUG !!!

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wendysue Posted 2 Nov 2006 , 10:52pm
post #3 of 21

Do you think it's situational or do you find yourself unhappy regardless of your circumstances? If you can't find happiness even when things are going well, you could have a chemical imbalance. Might be worth seeing a doctor about. If you think it's situational, it's probably temporary. How long have you been feeling this way?

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Sugarflowers Posted 3 Nov 2006 , 3:09am
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I used to get that way a lot. Recently, I've had a turning point. I quit caring quite so much what others think. I've always tried to please everyone, which never works.

My turning point was throwing away a competition cake in which I had put probably 500 hours. It seemed to release a different me. I now have an alter ego that is going to be doing some ornery stuff. icon_biggrin.gif

Maybe you need to just get away from your everyday life for a while. Even getting a massage does wonders. Pamper yourself for a change. Do something that YOU want to do. If your family is joining you, they have to go by what YOU want this time. Let them know that you need some TLC and to be the center of attention for a change.

I started a few weeks before chucking the cake by buying myself some really nice chef coats for a competition, whitened my teeth, and got my hair cut and colored. I spent a fortune on myself. I felt guilty at first, but I got over it fairly quickly. icon_smile.gif

Doing all of this has made my family happier as well. You know the saying, "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy".

I really do hope you get to feeling better.

Michele

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mariecar6 Posted 3 Nov 2006 , 3:34am
post #5 of 21

Right now, I'm at an unhappy moment in my life and it's affected my health. Today, one of my doctors told me to take a week off, to lay in my room with the air conditioning and a good book. She even sent my husband a note with DR's orders!
I got to thinking and I realized that life is like that and it's always going to be like that!

At this moment, you feel sad and unhappy. But that will go away. And come back. And go away...

Things aren't always the way we want them to be and we have to learn to live with it.

Think it over. Do something that pleases you. Or do something nice for somebody who needs help. If your mood persists, then do as one of the girls suggested and get professional help.
I wish you the best of luck.

Marie

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pinknlee Posted 3 Nov 2006 , 6:23pm
post #6 of 21

Thanks for all the anwsers. My mood affects my marriage. I have gone to the doctor. Nothing seems to lift my spirits. I pray a lot. I just hope for a better mood.

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czyadgrl Posted 3 Nov 2006 , 6:36pm
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This might sound strange, but do you exercise much?
I have found a direct link between exercise and my general mood.

If I stay more active and make a point to work out several times a week, I find that I feel both less tired and generally happier.

Times I go for a while without working out, I get grumpy easily.

Just a thought, it works for me! icon_smile.gif

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mvigil Posted 3 Nov 2006 , 8:48pm
post #8 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by czyadgrl

This might sound strange, but do you exercise much?
I have found a direct link between exercise and my general mood.

If I stay more active and make a point to work out several times a week, I find that I feel both less tired and generally happier.

Times I go for a while without working out, I get grumpy easily.

Just a thought, it works for me! icon_smile.gif




I totally agree with you czyadgrl I take walks after dinner and boy does this help -30min of time to myself the sun is setting and breathing in fresh air really maks a differnents !!
Somone else said to do stuff for your self that is very important ! you do feel better after !!!
And maybe you can call a friend or a relative you are close to and have a girls day out !!!

Keep your chin up things will get better for you

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CakeDiva73 Posted 3 Nov 2006 , 9:10pm
post #9 of 21

The exercise thing is so right..... I have had depression and it gets so dark and for no real reason. Healthy kids, enough food on the table, a roof over our heads....I keep thinking how can I possibly be NOT happy. Even when good things happen, sometimes the expectation outweighs the experience itself.

I have always felt foolish and selfish trying to explain this to people because not everyone knows what I am talking about. I forced myself on the stupid treadmill yesterday and afterwards, I felt really great. It's not a bunch of hooey because I would rather wash windows...clean grout with a toothbrush....clean the catbox...I would rather do all that then to exercise. That's how much I hate it!

I always think of that movie about the blonde where she is defending the aerobics instructor who they think did something bad and she says: 'Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't that, they just don't.'

And if you are really depressed or sad or whatever you want to call it, do not be afraid to ask for help. Sometimes depression doesn't just go away by thinking happy thoughts and going to the gym. icon_razz.gif (PM me anytime you want!)

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mkolmar Posted 3 Nov 2006 , 10:59pm
post #10 of 21

totaly agree with the above if you don't already start working out. After #4 was born I had severe depression and wouldn't take the pills givin to me because I was nursing and was afraid what it would do to my baby. It took me a LONG time to heal after his birth so I just would go for a short walk and do some crunches to lift my spirits and it really did help. Some days I couldn't even get out of bed but once I did and took some time to do something for myself I was much better.

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ShirleyW Posted 3 Nov 2006 , 11:47pm
post #11 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by pinknlee

Thanks for all the anwsers. My mood affects my marriage. I have gone to the doctor. Nothing seems to lift my spirits. I pray a lot. I just hope for a better mood.




Find another doctor. Seriously, if you have been feeling like this for some time and can't identify a reason you may be clinically depressed and need help. For some just a short term therapy of anti depressants can bring about a miraculous change. I am not suggesting they help everyone or that everyone should take them. But for those who truly have a chemical Imbalance they can work wonders. It doesn't mean you are mentally ill to see a phychiatrist either, if you had Diabetes you would take medication to control it, same for some with depression.

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pinknlee Posted 4 Nov 2006 , 12:05am
post #12 of 21

I have a list of therapist, but I havn't called. My doctor gave me pills and they just made me worse. I have been on them for a long time. My DH and I are getting ready to have a baby and I want to get this under control before. So no more pills. I am embarrased to call a therapist. I don't know what to say on the phone. "Hello, I feel nuts." Plus, I am afraid that if my ex, who digs at everything, found out I am in therapy he would try to get custody of my son. It may not be a "real" thing that might happen, but it still scares me.

Thanks for all the support. I really needed it.

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mkolmar Posted 4 Nov 2006 , 12:17am
post #13 of 21

The pills to help my brothers depression actually did the opposite and made him suicidal, so you are probly right about those pills that make it worse for you. Don't stop looking for help. A therapist will not judge you for asking for help. Just call and say I would like to set up an appointment to talk to you and if they ask why tell them briefly how you feel and that you DR. can't help you. They will be more than happy to help you.

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morg Posted 4 Nov 2006 , 4:52am
post #14 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by pinknlee

Does any one else have a hard time being happy? I really try but, it seems like everytime I am happy it turns to being unhappy. Does anybody else have this problem?




I've been in the same boat, but I'm interviewing Tuesday to get back into law enforcement and hopefully that will perk me back up.

I don't think every is destined to be a happy camper. I don't ever remember being one...

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justducky Posted 5 Nov 2006 , 2:48am
post #15 of 21

Call the therapist! There is no shame in saying you may need another persons help. A person to talk to that is not a friend and not related is a great thing. Our friends and relatives will not be straight with us. Yes exercise. If you can't take "time", put on some music and dance in your own livingroom by yourself. Hard to stay depressed then! Have you checked into the herbal remedies?

As far as the ex.... people who live in glass houses should just shut up! I used to work as a child advocate for the court system. It is near impossible for a mother to lose custody. Especially when you are remarried and moving on. Again, there is no shame in asking for help when you need it. It shows a maturity that a Mom should have.

Hang in there, I will be praying for you. You have more people then you know that care about you.

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Dordee Posted 5 Nov 2006 , 4:29am
post #16 of 21

I too get mildly depressed from time to time. Thankfully it dosen't last for long. It is horrible and like I said it is mild so I would hate to think what severe depression would be like. I agree with everybody else SEE A THERAPIST!! and soon!! You will not only be helping yourself but also your child. If you're happier so will your son/daughter be also. I'll be sure to say a prayer for you.
Charlotte

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bransmom Posted 6 Nov 2006 , 4:07pm
post #17 of 21

I have been feeling awful lately also, I can hear a song on the radio or watch something on tv and just cry. I think it is just because Mmother Nature is about to visit. Lately, I have no motivation to do anything. I went to bed Saturday night at 6 and slept until Sunday morning at 6:30. I cleaned my kitchen and cooked a big dinner and went back and laid in the bed. I think it may be the weather. I am going to take the advice of exercising and see if that helps. I have teenagers, so there is always something going on at my house. Good luck and call a Therapist, it may be nothing at all. You need to be there for your child. I will be thinking of you. Let us know how it goes

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noreen816 Posted 6 Nov 2006 , 4:27pm
post #18 of 21

I also have problems staying happy, especially while I'm at work. I went to a therapist for a little while and it helped to have an outsider talk about my situation with me. I learned that exercise works great also but it is so hard to find the time. Maybe you need a little time away, and definitely pamper yourself like everyone is telling you to! If you take a little break, exercise a little, read a good book, maybe when you come back you'll feel different. If not, then get help. I would reccomend not going on any medication and trying to sort things out on your own. If that doesn't work then maybe medication is the answer. Just don't use it as a first resort

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KlyKat Posted 6 Nov 2006 , 9:47pm
post #19 of 21

PLEASE all read with caution!!!! This may offend some.


Please let me say first that I don't mean any of what I am about to say in a hurtful or mean-spirited way. I don't know you nor you me, so we can only go on what we read on here. But here's what gets me out of the blues.

I have my health, a wonderfully healthy, happy, well adjusted 18 year old daughter, my family, my friends, my job, a roof over my head, food to keep me fed, a vehicle and I could go on and on.

Some people have very few, if any of the above.

I always look at the less fortunate than I and think, my life is really not that bad now is it? I'm very thankful for all that I have and all that will come tomorrow.

I am not saying that we don't all have our down times. I had a horrific 2005, I lost my father, my step-father, my last living grandfather and an aunt. Not to mention a full hystorectomy(sp?) a lump removed from my breast and a divorce. And I'm only 38 at the time. My best-friend buried her husband and 9 year old son, in the same day!

Remember 9/11
Remember Katrina
Remember...

To this day I am still positive about life and all it has to bring. We pick ourselves up and go on. If not for ourselves, but for the ones we love around us.

Life's too short not to be happy icon_lol.gif

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mkolmar Posted 7 Nov 2006 , 3:42am
post #20 of 21

klykat, you did have a horrible 2005, but I completely get what you are saying about being happy and no matter how hard your life is that it could be worse.

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barbara-ann Posted 7 Nov 2006 , 2:23pm
post #21 of 21

I noticed you live in oregon, so could it be the weather that affects your happiness? I have read that the weather does indeed affect people, especially in the gloomy months. Perhaps some pretty nature pictures, or if you don't have a dog or cat, what about one of those. Or even a bird that sings.
Good luck with everything!

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