How do you really know that your DH is faithful? What are the signs that they aren't?
My relationship with my DH has always been relativley good, we have been married 11 years and I love him with all my heart.....BUT he has been acting so weird lately...wearing his GOOD undies to work (he works in a dirty steel mill) puts on cologne (which he always used really great smelling musky deodarent) BUT now he is putting on his Paul Sebastian cologne and he hasn't wanted well....ya know...sha bang sha bang... Also some of his hours are not adding up at work....I have confronted him but he gets sooooo defensive and asks me if I think he is stupid and to quit dreaming up stuff....
So if any of you have experiences with this can ya help me?
Thank you so much....even if nobody can help me or give advice I love CC because I know I can open up and get things off of my chest
Christi
If it were me I would be calling his work to find out his hours..Sounds to me like something is going on... Usually if you suspect its happening it usually is..
I love my DH with all my heart and soul. I trust him and his judgement. However, I am a jealous person, if I were having those thoughts..I would check up on him. If all is innocent, no need to worry (or for him to know 
) but if it isn't..... 
Well...it does sound a little suspect...and if you are starting to wonder it doesn't hurt to do a little investigating. Follow your gut.
Of course, although his actions make things seem suspicious (sp?), there just may be nothing going on. Maybe he's feeling a little down about himself and the undies/cologne, etc are helping him feel a little better.
As for "sha bang sha bang"...haven't we all been there?! It's not uncommon to go through a phase where you just don't wanna!!
I hope everything works out. Hopefully it's just your overactive imagination at work?! Jodie
I agree with JRAE33. My first thought was how old is he? Maybe a quarter-mid life crisis? More and more 30-somethings are having the crisis these days. Maybe the cologne is just a sign of trying to spruce himself up. As far as the hours not matching up.. well.. I don't know about you, but if my hubby were to go behind my back and check on things like that, I'd be furious. My suggestion would be to keep alert.. you know you're hubby better than anyone so if he's acting strange, you would know. And if you confront him on things, try not to be too defensive.. keep it light so he doesn't feel attacked. I'm just trying to look at it like the other way around and how I would feel if my hubby started checking up on me. Good luck to you!
Thanks guys.... I really don't think he is having a affair...maybe he IS just going through a mid life thing (he is just 34 though), and darnit I am the one who isn't supposed to want...ya know....LOL...I really don't but he was always such a touchy feely guy...now nothing...now he just goes to bed....he does hug and kiss me and he is the most sweet man (most of the time) ...Maybe he's right maybe I am just looking for things...
I'm 32 and I've gone through those phases where I just didn't feel good about myself. When I went back to school (at the age of 2
I bought myself some new clothes and just having those clothes helped me feel more confident. Sort of a petty thing, I know, but it did help. I don't think age matters when it comes to having a life crisis!!
Isn't it funny how women always think it's "strange" when their man doesn't want to do...you know...but it's a womens right to
deny her man whenever, for as long as, etc...?!
Even though I know my hubby is faithful, I have sometimes let my imagination get the better of me and started to think..."what if"...I eventually realize it's just that...my imagination!! Sounds like it may be the same for you?!
Jodie
If it continues to bother you, talk to him about it - don't "confront" him. Tell him that you miss being physically intimate and it makes you insecure and you're worried that he's not attracted to you right now (assuming this is true ). Tell him also that you love and trust him, but it's really easy to let your insecurities get the better of you and let the imagination run wild, and it would be great if he could just talk to you about whatever's going on at work, etc. In short, you need to deal with the feelings going on here - your own and his - rather than the "evidence."
My only advice, or tips, is when trying to talk to your DH, try talking with the "I" instead of the "YOU". It works better, because he doesn't feel like being attacked. Use phrases like: "I feel like......" it's hard at first, but it's easier to actually get a conversation without arguing with your DH.
HTH
Do you have a birthday or anniversary coming up? Is he working longer hours to save up for something and doesn't want you to know about it as a surprise? this doesn't explain the undies and cologne.
You aren't alone in your thoughts though. I'm the same way and notice every little thing that hubby does differently....and then my mind goes crazy with ideas!!
I'm sure that he isn't up to anything, but it probably wouldn't hurt to check the history in his computer and cell phone. IF he was up to anything it would most likely be in one of those places.
.... and darnit I am the one who isn't supposed to want...ya know....LOL...
Let me just tell y'all that the old wives tale about women peaking at 40 is NO wives tale!! Wow!! What a difference! That's why I luv getting older!
Hubby "whined" to me one night, 'Oh don't tell me I have to service you again!" Greatest compliment I ever got! 
You aren't alone in your thoughts though. I'm the same way and notice every little thing that hubby does differently....and then my mind goes crazy with ideas!![/quote]
Same here. I don't miss anything. If it's really getting to you, put your mind at ease the way it makes you feel better about the situation. Whether it be checkin up on him or talking to him about how you feel.
You mentioned that he gets "defensive" when you ask him anything. Well, it has been my experiences in life that have taught me that when someone gets defensive, it's usually for a reason. K'ly
Christi,
Intuition is a great thing but not always correct! I have been cheated on before and I knew it from the beginning! I kept pushing back those thoughts thinking I was a paranoid freak! When I saw it with my own two eyes I appreciated my intuition and promised myself to always trust it. WRONG! My DH, not the dirt bag who DID cheat, was working a lot, wearing froo-froo juice and getting text messages from Krista about "work". What time are you coming in, what time are you getting off?He was too tired for "relations". Trust me, he is never too tired for that! I just knew he was doing the dirty with her. I started back with paranoid freak and drove DH nuts. I checked his phone, hacked his work and home email. Checked his clothes, wallet, truck etc. I just went nuts. He was home late again. Claimed it to be a "late flight". Yeah right! Well, come to find out Krista was a woman who he was orienting/mentoring at work. She had to be there when he was so needed to know his schedule. He was too tired because he was working 80 hours a week. I violated my DH's privacy and embarassed the he** out of myself over nothing. I should have just talked to him. Hard lesson learned. Just talk and bring something to the table yourself. I liked the suggestion of starting out with I feel. I need to use that. I can see hpw that would make things seem less confrontational. I hope things work out well for you.
Elle<~~~~Not a psycho wife. I promise.
LOL Elle I don't THINK you are a pyscho wife 
, but who could blame you if you were with the first one cheating on you? I hate that it happened to you once though...you kinda have a reason to be on the defensive ya know?
Well in DH's defense (since our talk) he to works long hours....12 days on 2 days off, usually 12 hour days in a very HOT and nasty enviroment. He told me when his checks come out wrong (because the check is automatically put into our account ) and he just brings his checkstubs home and lays them everywhere (drives me nuts, cause I organize them in a folder), to tell him so he can take it to work and get reinbursed for the lost hours. They are never off that much....maybe about 4 hours out of 80 ...so I jumped before I thought.... he said his "good' underwear felt better due to him being chafed (which poor thing is VERY chafed from the hot enviroment and sweating) which is the same reason he doesn't want to always sha bang sha bang (I love that word LOL). So most of ya were right...I jumped (like I always do) when I should of just asked......
wgoat5, glad things worked out. You must be so relieved.
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