I'm Never Going To Have One Of Those Tidy, Pretty Homes
Lounge By berryblondeboys Updated 6 Nov 2006 , 12:33pm by berryblondeboys
I had all these visions of a beautiful home when we bought this house two years ago (townhome). I bought all this fabric for shower curtains and curtains and everything.
Well, two years later and I've ONLY made the curtains for the rec room and living room. yes, it didn't hlep that I had a difficult pregnancy and a baby in the house, but I just can't keep with the day to day to have "extra' energy for all these projects!
We are in the process of changing the downstairs study with the upstairs play/craft room and every box I pull out of the closet, I think to myself. I'll never get to this project. Or, why am I keeping these leftovers? At this point they are just cluttering my closets - organized or not 9and they are organized) they are taking up valuable space.
I was also planning on selling all my baby's outgrown clothes to make some $$, but it's not easy to get that organized. you need to like pairs, have them tidy, take photos, write the listing and then HOPE they sell well. it would take me a month to get all that done (on top of the day to day stuff). I'm thinking of just donating it as you can write that off on taxes and just be done with it.
It wasn't until I realized this weekend that it's our HOBBIES that buries us in clutter that I knew we would always have chaos. I kept hoping that "once I get this done" it would some how magically look pretty and neat and presentable, but unless DH stops reading books and listening to music and I stop baking and sewing, we will ALWAYS have clutter no matter HOW organized we are about it and we are pretty darn organized - you have to be when you have small spaces and lots of stuff....
I'm thinking of doing like "Neat" or "mission organization" and just PURGING everything. You know?
Melissa
I know what you mean. We have so much stuff in our house that you can't walk. Just the guns and all the things you need with them to hunt and such take up a good portion of the closet, not to mention the stuff my husband never puts away.
The only thing I ever manage to have put away is the cake stuff but only because I have worked really hard to find spots for everything.
I'm glad it isn't just my house!!! Hey, that's my name too, berry!
I had the neatest, tidiest home once....for about a whole week.....I constantly ran around picking things up, asking people to pick things up, etc., etc., etc. I even washed every single tiny dish as it got dirty...one cup???oh well wash it now!!!!
You get the hint! I've engrossed myself in making curtains and lots of things. I'm proud to say that I've made 5 sets of curtains in 5 different rooms, but...once that week was over, I realized how much I'd pushed myself away from everyone. Especially my young children.
And, I guess I learned that a little messy is ok, but it still doesn't make me happy!!!! We also came up with the rule of "if it hasn't been used in 6 months, it gets tossed". This is hard to do, but when you deal with hobbies...cake items, archery, crafts, scrapbooking, hunting, more & more & more....it really builds up very fast. And, yes, there were some cake items that I hadn't used in a year, and they were sold on ebay!
Now, we have a day, usually sat. where we all clean. I enjoy doing dishes with my husband!!! He does anything I ask him to do and it's wonderful.
OH well, maybe someone will read this and help us out!!!!
yep, I need to seriously purge. I just went through my kitchen and purged a few things, but it's my crafts I need some SERIOUS Purging... I haven't touched some of that stuff for like 5 years!!!
I need to find a charity to donate it. I'm sure there's some old folk's home or mother's home that would appreciate some of these supplies. it would do my house good and provide some quality stuff to people who need it.
Then... it's the fabrics. I have like three major projects I never started and I have enough scrap/remnant fabric to build a quilt to cover the house, I swear.
And, I don't feel too bad about some of the clutter. Heck, my husband wanted to take the china cabinet and use it for books!!!! He has point blank told me he could not live in a house where he couldn't have some books and papers out because he NEEDS them.
I would just be happier in the meantime if my MIL would not come to my house!!! All she does is say it's a big mess and then goes on to tell me how when she went to so and sos house it's so "CLEAN"... Argh... Yet, she knows I work around the clock, so go figure? My bathrooms are clean, laundry is up to date, kitchen is done daily and so on... but toys are always out and it's that clutter upstairs that is beginnign to take over like an explosion.... What is it with MILs?
Melissa
my house too!
I keep buying fabric to make curtains/valances. Just got some this weekend actually. Wonder if I'll ever make them?
Keep trying to stay on top of picking up all the time, just can't seem to muster the energy for it. I would rather play with cakes!
I'm starting this week on "mission purge" and starting in the basement, I'm getting everything out that is just sitting there, even I can envision a use for it in the future. I probably won't like it by the time I have a place for it!
berryblondeboys, there are a lot of Mom 2 Mom sales around here - I don't know if it's to raise money for a church or if they get to keep funds raised from their own stuff, but it might be worth looking into. One morning and you're done. Or for the nicer/newer looking stuff, maybe a resale shop. You can pick up your cash from them and not worry about the ebay stuff. Or bundle like items together and sell as a bunch on ebay instead of individually. That could save time posting and shipping.
We just bought a townhome that is in the process of being built. I am bound and determined to move in there organized. I have been selling EVERYTHING on craig's list. My husband came home the other night and went to throw his coat on the couch, and it was gone! I sold it too! I am just taking 15 minutes a day to either go through a misc. pile or place a few adds on craigs list. I feel burried in all of this mess sometimes too, but this has been helping me to feel a little better about it. I can always find 15 minutes, even if it's late at night. Not to mention the extra $$$. Oh, and to sell baby clothes it works really well to just put them in boxes by size. Then you just put, box of boys 0-3 month clothes, $25. I have had a few people e-mail me for pictures, but then I just take a few and e-mail them back and it's not a huge project.
Don't let this post make you think that I am Miss Organized though, I am not by far!!! I'm just trying to make my house run a little more smoothly so that I have more time to bake cakes and play on CC!
We are trying to sell our house (for the last four months) so I have had to PURGE, PURGE, PURGE and keep everything clean. My house has never looked so good. But every morning I spend at least an hour making beds, put dishes away and laundry and that 's before I go to my day job.
We had so much clutter saved up after 6 years (this is the longest we have ever been in one spot since we got married) that I rented a dumpster. (a small one but still a dumpster none the less)
We had it dumped at least 7 times! Plus I gave tons of stuff away to good will. And took a ton of clothes to the resale shop for them to sell it for me. (I too was going to do ebay but it just takes too long) SO the best stuff I boxed and took to the Mommy and Me second hand shop. yes they keep 60% of profit but I get some money for it.
Hey, if anybody wants to see my house here it is:
http://www.visualtour.com/shownp.asp?T=790005
I live in Juneau, AK, want to move here? You can see my craft room is a little overrun but otherwise my house looks pretty clutter free. The most clutter free we have been in 15 years, LOL. I have been working my butt off over it though.
Please send good house selling vibes my way. : )
LOL over here! I told FI last night he had one day to get the living room (his area) in inspection shape. White glove, soldier! I can now walk through the door, through the kitchen (my area) and all the way to my office without tripping or "Eew, what did I just step on? Did you give the kids grapes again?"
I even (miraculously!) kept the cake area clean AS I WORKED! There are still dishes to do, but it usually looks like a flour storm until the next day.
Messy houses drive me nuts. That explains why my sainty runs off every time I enter my own house! The living room passed inspection beautifully. I give it a day, both kids are in school tomorrow.
I understand where you're coming from. I'm extremely organized but my fiance and I live in a one bedroom apartment with one cloest for clothes and one for storage...We both loves books ( and have tons of them) and my fiance will not throw out old magazines! That combined with my newfound love of cake decorating has left a mountain of clutter in our tiny little apartment
it is really tough. We have NINE FULL bookcases in our 1800 square foot home (and that is counting what would be considered basment space). Our only "true" storage is a 9X7 foot room. We have a deep freezer in there, a tool chest, our spare chairs, and then floor to ceiling shelves with all the stuff we have stored. All boxes are labeled. Oh, and our luggage is in there too and a bicycle and YES, you can walk into it and get whatever you need.
Our bedroom has a 3x4 closet that we put a closet organization in and that helps a lot. We have FOUR bathrooms, but only ONE has a vanity or any sort of cabinet. We have ONE small linen closet and then a small coat closet and two small bifold door closets in teh bedrooms and no room for storage in the laundry room. So, for a family of four with hobbies, we have like NO SPACE for things. I stole the small bifold closet for craft supplies, but now I have to turn that over to DH for his office and move my crafts downstairs. So, it's purge time.
It makes me sad because I really MEANT to do these things and I am basically throwing money out the window and I hate that as I'm such a frugal person!!!
My MIL comes in our home and goes crazy. Heck, she threw away her Christmas decorations (just one box) because she didn't think she would use it again. She keeps nothing and has no hobbies and her home is so neat and easy to keep up because nothing every gets dragged out. Plus, no kids growing like weeds or playing either. And cook? She hates cooking... We drive her nutso with our stuff and she is constantly (like every time she is here ) saying we need to get rid of stuff... Makes me not want her coming over and I HATE it when she walks around the house and then comments on it. Who inspects other people's homes, you know? Can you tell she drives me buggie?!?! LOL
I'm SUPER organized. Everything has a system, but the upkeep of these systems are too much for me so, things sometimes sit out until I can put it away properly which then makes things messy. I won't throw things in drawers just to hide the mess because then I'll forget about it. It's kind of funny. Look at my surface and it's a mess, look in my closets and drawers adn they are super organized - kind of opposite of most people's way of cleaning! LOL
Melissa
Oh Lordy, do I feel your pain! I always wanted one of "those" homes...my Mothers house looks like a model home - it is freaky. When we moved in, we went to the neighbors house and there was half of the wall in their bathroom missing and I asked what happened and she said they were going to re-model but never finished. 
7 YEARS ago!! I was thinking ' I will never be like that!'.
And then one day I looked around and realized I was like that...I took off the kitchen cabinet doors to sand and repaint almost 7 years ago and they are still off - can you belive that? At this point, I don't know if they will ever get done.
Where do people find the time to do all this stuff between kids, pets, working, selling, baking, cleaning, laundry...then the kids activities and now the holidays? I swear, it never ends.
My house is a pit.......... 
You just have to make time. I realize now how much timeI wasted before, LOL.
I have now decluttered my house, painted my entire house inside and out (and yes I did it all, even the taping), stained and hung bifold doors by myself, replaced 5 light fixtures, repaired holes in the wall and in the ceiling. I am very proud of what I have accomplished. Just wish my house would sell. : (
My husband really didn't do much. I can say I did 96% of the work.
Pick one project and work on it until its complete. Pick one closet and work on it until it's orgazined and clutter free. Then it doesn't seem overwhelming. Before you know it your done.
: )
I think part of my "problem" now is that I'm so far behind it's ovewhelming, you know? I wasn't able to do much when I was pregnant (right when we moved here) and then the first 17 months of his life were sleep deprivation hell and I'm pretty sure (hindsight) I had Post Partum Depression too, because I was a slug. Being woken 5-7 times a night will zap anyone's energy.
Anyway, starting a couple weeks ago I started tackling the "stuff". I finished the curtains for downstairs, primed and papered the paneling downstairs, and tore out my kitchen to reorganize. then halloween madness hit our house (I'm made two costumes) and then I said I would do some baking for meetings and now I have a vendor fair TOMORROW and I haven't made a THING for it!!!! I'll be pulling an all-nighter tonight most certainly! Argh...
I was FINALLY taking one small project a day and then our house exploded with the baking and sewing projects (and how could I forget my son's science project) so now I feel bogged down by the big picture again and not looking at little project by little project. Doesn't help that I have a bad toothache so I know a root canal is in order (or two - gotta love soft teeth with breastfeeding!)
Should mention the bookcases are JUST books which we won't be getting rid of. DH doesn't see a need to ever purge books! argh! We have three CD towers (holds about 200 cds each) and a Record tower too.
OK, off to get my dishes done - that's my "task" for now! LOL
Melissa
We have a book fetish too I must admit. Although I did purge quite a few recently. My hubby was not willing to part with a single book. He is already in Anchorage though and he doesn't know and will never notice but he is a little lighter in the book department now. (hey he should have helped me more, LOL)
I totally know where you are coming from. The last 6 years have been rough trying to raise my little ones. THey are older now and it's so much easier, praise the lord. : ) And when they start school it's a wonderful miracle, LOL. I look back and wonder how in the world did we do it. (well we are exhausted that's how, LOL) I have a 6 1/2 year old and a 4 year old.
I agree with okieinalaska (I also have a 6-1/2 and a 4 year old) about finishing one project at a time, starting too many projects at the same time can be too overwhelming especially when "life" gets in the way. Also my DH has tons of CD's but I got rid of quite a few of them and he didn't even notice, you can buy and sell used cd's at secondspin.com. You can type in the name of the cd and it will automatically tell you what they will pay you for it. I've also sold used books on amazon.com (again some were DH's and he didn't even notice they were missing, because he didn't know he had them in the first place). As for children's clothing, there is a children's consignment shop in the next town and I take them there and they give me 40%, the clothes that are not fit to sell I just donate or toss as soon as the youngest outgrows them. I hate clutter it just drains your energy.
I actually hate walking into a "model" home. Makes me uncomfortable. I like a clean but lived in look...lol. Okay ours is cluttered and well lived in. I have a 4 yr old and a 2 yr old and neither one of them sleep well so that hinders some...lol.
I'm way organized it's to bad that the piggies in my house are not.
Amen to that! So it's not only me that realized those who do the cleaning make less messes than those who don't. The cleaners know putting something away when you are done with it means there won't be a snowball effect by gremlins while we sleep. Oh, and can someone teach those who do not do laundry to take the undies out of the pants before stepping in the shower?
My husband would absolutely KILL me if I ever threw his stuff away or sold it or whatever. I would feel similarly if he decided for ME which things of mine needed to go. I guess we always respect each other's "space". I don't open his mail either (or he mine).
Believe it or not, my DH knows what music and books he has and he does use them (most are reference type of books. We have very few "fun" reading books) and most of them were used bookshop finds.
Gotta ask people though, don't you actually get more money if you donate to charity than sell for 40%? Last year we were surprised how much you could deduct for clothing, so this year we have been keeping careful track of each item we've donated to Purple Heart, Value city and Salvation Army and kept the receipts. It's like $7 a pair of pants, etc and there is listing of fair condition, good condition and excellent condition. That's why I think I'll donate to charity versus trying to sell them. ALL my used baby stuff is top quality. I bought most of them secondhand, but all are gymboree, gap or boutique stuff - nothign from Target and the like, so I'm not willing to say "$25 for a box of clothes". I KNOW I could get $100 for a box of these clothes even used and I think I can get that much by donating to charity too. My kids are big and tall, so they outgrew clothes WAY faster than they could ruin them.
Melissa
HA! Zmama, I tell my DH it looks as if someone melted him right on the floor. The pants have are on the floor as if he evaporated in air and left inside are his underwear and socks, drives me nuts. I quit folding his clothes for a while because he only goes and puts them on the floor in our bedroon, he calls it the floor closet!!! I've went to extream measures too. When I did his laundry if the socks were in a ball they were washed and semi-dried in that manner. You would think 1/2 dry socks would bother him, but noooooo. I gave up the thought of walking around like that drove me crazy so I completely have taken over once again. I'm fighting a loosing battle of cleanliness in my own home!
We have to move a lot and have many items still in the garage unpacked from several moves ago. There is NO WAY my hubby even knows what in those boxes, LOL.
I went through the garage when we rented the dumpster and made sure I put his crap (which stored in an unheated, damp garage was mostly crap by now) in the bottom of the dumpster. Then I piled other stuff on top.
I did catch him dumpster diving a few times, LOL. DOn't get me wrong, there are some things I know I can't throw away of his and I don't mess with those.
But I figure if he hasn't seen it in 5 years or so, hasn't missed and hasn't used it then it's fair game. : )
And I will deny everything to the grave, LOL.
yep, things stored in boxes in a damp area would be considered junk to me too. If that happened, I would tell him, "I opened the box to see what was inside adn I found mouse droppings and mildewed books - no way were they moving with us. Next time if you want to keep something, take better care of it and no complaining I threw it away." Now... if there were really droppings and mildew could be "fibbed" a little if I knew it wasn't a keeper box....
All our books are up for display and music too, so he would notice anything missing. Me on the other hand? He could toss a box or two of my craft closet and I would think maybe I decided not to move it with us the last move because I did purge a lot and might have forgotten... but he's too lazy to ever think about cleaning? What's cleaning!?! LOL
Though DH is the laundry guy in our house. He's way pickier in how it's doene. He has this theory that if you dry clothes too dry (like if they feel too hot to the skin) then you are damaging them. So, when he does laundry he keeps checking the dryer and takign things out one item at a time if necessary. So, that became his job because I refuse to be that anal about it! LOL I need to find more jobs around the house he's pickier about, but mostly it's me who's picky! LOL
Melissa
I'd give anything to have one of those CLUTTERED houses! I live in a one bedroom apartment by myself. I keep it pretty neat and clean (for the most part, I have my lazy days) but it gets boring and lonely. Honestly, I wouldn't mind having a DH and some rugrats to pick up after!
There is truth to that big time, I will admit! My MIL is alone and complains about being lonely and I would much rather have my messy house full of love than a tidy house very lonely.
My kids won't be small forever and then we will live more reasonably... Plus, I will NEVER forgo carving a pumkin with my kids just to avoid the mess. One thing my MIL says that makes me sad (for her) when I do fun things like carve pumpkins or make my kids halloween costumes or make cookies with the kids - she will say, "Ah, Melissa, you are still young." and say it in a way so that it seems that some day I won't want to do these things because they are too much hassle. TRULY, I hope I never get too old to not want to do the fun things in life. Then what's the point in living?
A nice day comes by and BOTH DH and I agree - much better to spend time outside and let the dishes sit for awhile than to miss the outdoors... so pretty house go bye-bye.... I'm too busy living I guess! LOL
Melissa
P.S. But currently living with a killer toothache, so gotta take care of that first! LOL
That reminds me of an email I got a long time ago. I saved it, here it is:
Dust if you must but wouldn't it be better
To paint a picture or write a letter,
Bake a cake or plant a seed.
Ponder the difference between want and need.
Dust if you must but there's not much time,
With rivers to swim and mountains to climb!
Music to hear and books to read,
Friends to cherish and life to lead.
Dust if you must but the world's out there
With the sun in your eyes, the wind in your hair,
A flutter of snow, a shower of rain.
This day will not come around again.
Dust if you must but bear in mind,
Old age will come and it's not kind.
And when you go and go you must,
You, yourself, will make more dust.
Remember, a house becomes a home when
you can write "I love you" on the furniture....
OK, I'm gonna copy that, fancy it up, print that, frame it and make it a focal point in my home. It might be a little mean to send as a "message" to my MIL, but it is so true!!!
She has said herself that the reason she isn't married (SHE divorced 3 men) is that she is too perfect - she expects perfection and can't live without perfection and so where does that leave her? With one child whom she drives crazy and lonely older years. She has lots of friends, but it's just not enough to be so distant from people because she can't bend a little.
THANKS!!!
melissa
That poem is so true!
My favorite saying is:
"A clean house is the sign of a misspent life."
However, misspending one hour a day would really help me walk around here! Of all the people I miss the most from back home, my CLEANING LADY tops the list. $20 per week bought a LOT of sanity.
berryblondeboys-if you fancy it up and frame it, it would make a nice xmas gift for say...a mother in law! ok, i admit, that might be a little mean! but think of it this way, you'd be doing her a favor. i'm so thankful that i know how to appreciate the small things in life. some people never learn to do that and i truly feel sorry for them.
Ugh! I feel your pain! My mother has one of those "model homes". Everything is always so perfect, you'd think no one lives there! My house is definitely lived in - and I [pick up constantly! We have a small ranch, without a lot of storage. The front door opens into the living room, and well, it's a LIVING room. I cringe every time the doorbell rings! DH & DS just don't pick anything up - it drives me nuts!! We both work FT and I still am always cleaning!! Where does it come from?
Anyway, just wondering if any of you have heard of flylady? I used her method a few years ago - she advocates spending 15 min a day, and it did make a difference! But then we fell into our old habits. Maybe I should check her out again... www.flylady.net
I tried flylady for like a minute, but it's too slow paced for me. I know it says to develop habits slowly and it starts with one activity a day, but her priorities are not my priorities. 15 minutes a day would NOT cover the basics in my home either. Sure, I would have a nice shiny sink daily, but???? she says to clean the bathrooms daily as you use them in the morning. Well, my townhome has four bathrooms of which two hardly get used and only two have bathtubs/showers. That doesn't mean the other ones don't get dirty. I get nasty rust settlement in the toilets of the other because they are flushed so infrequently. She also says to start a load of laundry in the morning while you head downstairs... Well, that's fine if yuo don't have a toddler in your arms first thing in the morning, ou know?
I planned on using her philosophy and just fine tuning it to what I need, but it would need a major overhaul which also includes her philosophy of not keeping things to sell at garage sales or ebay, but to donate it. Well, I can's see throwing away THOUSANDS of dollars just to have a tidy home fast. So.... I will purge, but it will be a slower purge! LOL
Melissa
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