Ot: I Need To Vent!!! Sorry Extremely Long
Lounge By Lazy_Susan Updated 27 Oct 2006 , 1:05am by dldbrou
I'm sorry y'all but this has nothing to do with cake decorating. It's my brother-in-law!!!!!!!!!! He drives me nuts. He is sooooooo in to himself and fools everyone around him in to believing he is something that he truly is not. He has been posting video clips on youtube.com and lying about how fantastic he is and all those people just fall for it and feed his flame!!!! They think he is a video god! However, I know the truth!!! I so badly want to post the truth on there but that would only create a war in the family and I'm not going to go there.
My brother-in-law is the type of person that has to have everyone give to him. He thinks the world owes him something. His mom and dad paid for everything he has ever had. But he never tells anyone that. He has a son that he tells everyone on youtube "I'm a father". His son lives over 2000 miles away from him and he has nothing to do with him. Even when his son was with him he didn't have anything to do with him!!! It broke my heart everytime I saw that little boy banging on my brother-in-law's bedroom door screaming "I want my daddy" and my BIL not even bothering to open the door.
He is sooooooo self-centered!! During the court trials over custody of his son (which he lost), he let his mom and dad spend OVER $150,000.00 on lawyer fees and court costs. They spent the savings and mortgaged their house which they nearly lost to foreclosure. His dad doesn't work due to disability and his mom worked as hard as she could through all her ailments. She not only had to pay all the household bills but she had to provide my BIL with his car payment (BMW), gas money, money for his next big whim (one of which was he needed money to buy clothing for a photo shoot, that his mom also paid for because he had a girlfriend that told him he should be a model) and all his spending money for food and what-not!!! BTW, nothing ever came of his so called modeling besides the photo shoot that his mom paid for but he tells the people that one of his talents is that he was a male model!!!!
He hasn't hardly ever worked for as long as I have known him (almost 10 years). My husband and I moved from California to Washington and a month later my BIL followed us. He moved in to his own apartment and I had high hopes for him thinking that now he would have to take care of himself and pay his own way. I was wrong. His mom was sending him money to pay his rent (which he didn't do) and to pay his utilities and buy him food. Mind you she was still paying his car payment and insurance. His parents were literally drained of their finances. They had to move up to Washington and live with me and my husband. When my BIL knew that it was getting tight for his mom to continue to support him, he happen to find "the perfect girl". He went on a job interview and met this woman that if he had not been desperate he would not have given the time of day to! Nothing against her but I know his taste in women and how badly he puts them down if they aren't perfect! Anyway, she had only had one boyfriend in her whole life so when she met my BIL she started treating him just like his mom did. She gave him money to buy new tires for his BMW. She gave him money (after knowing each other 1 month) to get out of his lease at his apartment (which he kept instead) so he could move in with her. She gave him $2000 to buy her an engagement ring on her birthday! You should have seen the Engagement announcement in the paper. It talked about how he was a "Graduate" from some IT College. He's never been past the 3rd grade in school!!!!!! Long story about the no education that really boils my blood because my husband was included in the no school but I won't go in to that. I even gently tried to get this girl to understand the truth about him but she just wasn't having it. She acted like I wasn't even talking to her. I was dumb founded!
Anyway, back to the youtube.com lies. He has told these people that he owns his own video production studio and produces and directs. He has a BEDROOM in his house (that his wife's parents bought and remodeled for them... of which he says he did!) that has a couple of computers, a camera and some editing equipment. All of which his wife's parents bought for him. He tells these people on youtube that he is a "Blackbelt Martial Artist". He's not! He did get his brownbelt but then he quit. He tells them that he is a "Pianist"! He's not. He taught himself a few songs and that's about it. He tells them that his video production company is the "meat and potatoes" that pays his mortgage! It isn't. His wife and her parents do it all. They are also the ones that get him the few little jobs that he's ad with his "Company". Ok to give him the benefit of the doubt he does have a business license hanging on the bedroom wall.
He professes to be Christian yet does nothing to portray a Christian lifestyle.
There is so much more that I could go in to but I have used up enough of y'alls time. Thank you for letting me vent. I know I should just not go and look at his newest video addition on youtube but I can't help myself. I go to see how many more lies he is telling. The sad part is that those people think that he is the most caring, skilled, talented, intelligent, best provider and father! They just feed his fire by telling him how Great he is!!
Ok I'm done. Sorry
As long as he's not really bothering you or your immediate family, I wouldn't worry too much about it b/c it will drive you crazy....b/c we all have someone similar to this in our families, lol!
It's hard to watch a parent or parent in law pay for an adult child's expenses, but that's their choice~you can't stop them. They're choosing to support their child and saying anything to them about it will definitely start a fight.
(we do have a very similar problem like this in our family but w/o all of the lies, like the pianist thing, etc.)
I know it's bugging the crap out of you, but I'd try my hardest to just tolerate him~he's lived like this so long, he's probably not gonna change.
And, based on your signature line, just pray for him.
And as far as Christians go....which I try to be one.....if you have to tell everyone what you are, then you're not really one..........if you're a true Christian (or anything else for that matter: mother, father, etc.) it will show in your actions.
Also.......you didn't mention your DH....what does he say/do/think?
No schooling after 3rd grade??? Did I read that right???
As long as he's not really bothering you or your immediate family, I wouldn't worry too much about it b/c it will drive you crazy....b/c we all have someone similar to this in our families, lol!
It's hard to watch a parent or parent in law pay for an adult child's expenses, but that's their choice~you can't stop them. They're choosing to support their child and saying anything to them about it will definitely start a fight.
(we do have a very similar problem like this in our family but w/o all of the lies, like the pianist thing, etc.)
I know it's bugging the crap out of you, but I'd try my hardest to just tolerate him~he's lived like this so long, he's probably not gonna change.
And, based on your signature line, just pray for him.
And as far as Christians go....which I try to be one.....if you have to tell everyone what you are, then you're not really one..........if you're a true Christian (or anything else for that matter: mother, father, etc.) it will show in your actions.
Also.......you didn't mention your DH....what does he say/do/think?
No schooling after 3rd grade??? Did I read that right???
Thanks for the great advice. As far as my DH goes he feels the same way or worse than me. Probably because my DH has worked so hard in life considering the disadvantage that he started with. He taught himself to read, got his GED and became a Truck Driver. We still have to struggle for all that we get (which is very little) and we provide for ourselves and have nothing. Better yet we are in a hole financially. So I think that is why it really bothers my DH to see his brother get everything handed to him when my DH has nothing.
i'm so sorry to hear about your family (or your husband's) i couldn't imagine having a family member suck the life out of another family member to the point that they had to move in with someone else, he should be ashamed of himself & his "Christian" attitude will get him just what he deserves in the end. I'm sorry, i know i'm being harsh, but what he did to his parents & the way he treats his child, well..........he's real close to being right there with some of the lowest scum on earth...no one that has the ability to work should suck the life out of a older person.
as for the youtube thing, it's nice to know that even us aveage people could do it too...............tell him the next time you see him that you didn't realized that youtube was for wantabes & a friend told you it was & tell him in front of family (heck, most of my sister's friends have clips & such on myspace of themseves using youtube & other .com company to do it)
best of luck, just don't give him any money 
i'm so sorry to hear about your family (or your husband's) i couldn't imagine having a family member suck the life out of another family member to the point that they had to move in with someone else, he should be ashamed of himself & his "Christian" attitude will get him just what he deserves in the end. I'm sorry, i know i'm being harsh, but what he did to his parents & the way he treats his child, well..........he's real close to being right there with some of the lowest scum on earth...no one that has the ability to work should suck the life out of a older person.
as for the youtube thing, it's nice to know that even us aveage people could do it too...............tell him the next time you see him that you didn't realized that youtube was for wantabes & a friend told you it was & tell him in front of family (heck, most of my sister's friends have clips & such on myspace of themseves using youtube & other .com company to do it)
best of luck, just don't give him any money
You are in no way being too harsh! I only touched the tip of the iceberg here.
I'm sorry. I should be praying for him instead of complaining about him on here to all of you. My gossip of him is no worse than the lies he is telling. It wasn't very Christian of me to came here and gossip.
I'm sorry. I should be praying for him instead of complaining about him on here to all of you. My gossip of him is no worse than the lies he is telling. It wasn't very Christian of me to came here and gossip.
LOL! Now, I don't think you're gossiping. You came here b/c it's just burning you up inside and you're about to explode...right? You need to talk to people and get things off your chest, and sometimes complete strangers, like us, are some of the best people to do that with.
I did mention praying for him b/c I learned to do that the "hard"way. Our neighbors are really a (bad) piece of work! You name it, they've done it! They have told so many lies about us behind our backs, they've yelled at our yardsale customers, killed our cat, made one of our guests move their vehicle b/c 1 inch of their tire was on their property. And, more!!! So, dh and I would just talk about them, b/c it really hurt for thelongest time. It still does when Ithink about it, but something came over me one time, to pray for them b/c truth be known, they're just miserable old farts! I get things off my chest by praying and I know I'm doing something good, too.
And, I completelyunderstand what you mean about you all supporting yourself. My dh has a larger family and so many of them have relied on their parents to pay this & that for them; and they borrow money all of the time and never repay it back. We're the only ones that don't do any of that...we pay for ourselves; and if we can't afford it, we simply don't get it. And, we've gotten lots of snide remarks from the others such as It must be nice! IT's the tone, the look and everything about how they say it. But, we don't care. We're teaching our children, that no matter how hard it might be, you have to take care of yourself 100%.
Sorry, I wrote a chapter there.
You're post just touched me b/c I really know what you're saying.
Oh my word, that's so sad that no one can see him for who he really is..I'm glad to hear that you and your husband work hard for everything, maybe deep down your husband's parents are proud of your husband and how you keep yourselves from being a financial burden on them.
My husband has had the same parents pay for a lot stuff problem in his family. My husband grew up realizing that his dad didn't make a lot of money so as soon as he could work he did if he wanted nice clothes and what not, but his sister and brother would have his parents buy them whatever they wanted. Even now my hubbies sister constantly needs money from them and she is grown, married and has 2 kids.
But my IL's are very proud of us because we don't ask to borrow money, we don't eat them out of house and home, we don't ask them for grocery money, we don't ask them to buy us a new dryer, etc.
May god give you strength..
Yeah, I can relate also to a lying BIL. My BIL worked in a Catholic School as a principal for years and two years ago it was discovered that he was leading a secret life. He not only was cheating on my sister (who teaches at the same school), with a co-worker, he embesseled about $300,000.00 from the school. Just recently he was sentenced for the theft charges. He got a suspended sentence and 60 hrs community service and has to pay most of the money back. What a joke. We were told it is because the jails are full and they only want dangerous criminals to be locked up. I told my sister years ago that I thought it was impossible for them to have so much money on their salaries, but she never had anything to do with finances and didn't care. Her excuse for all their money was that he knew how to invest money. HA
The only good thing about everything that happened is that I never have to see or talk to him again. So, look for a silver lining somewhere and it will be your little secret. It might be that your husbands parents are more proud of your husband that you know because he is not needy or immature.
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