I Won't Make This Mistake Again -- Vent - Long!!
Decorating By southerncake Updated 19 Aug 2007 , 3:43am by Luxe42
Around mid-July I got a call from my uncle's wife (yes, I know she would technically be my aunt, but I don't really think of her in that way 
) and she told me that her daughter (my uncle's step-daughter) was getting married in August and wanted to know if I could do the cake. I was already booked for most of the summer; however, I had blocked off this coming weekend because I knew I was having surgery.
The couple getting married are very, very young and she said the wedding was just going to be really simple - just family and a few close friends and it is about an hour away. She said they only needed something to feed about 50 people - probably 2 tier - and a really simple design (she said something like I did for her wedding to my uncle, which was a two-tier basketweave).
I knew I would still be recovering from surgery, but felt like a cake that small would be doable. She said that the bride herself would be in touch with me in a couple of weeks to discuss the details she wanted. Stupidly (is that even a word?!?), I told her I would do the cake as my gift.
Well....fast forward to this past Sunday. I had not heard from bride or mom. I had asked my uncle a couple of times if he knew what they decided and, of course, he did not. Her bridal shower was Sunday afternoon and I really had too much cake to do to go, but decided I would just so I could find out what is going on.
When I walked in the door at the shower, mom and bride both start going on and on about how they were panicking since they had not heard from me (I don't have a phone number for either of them & she specifically said the bride would call me) and that at the end of the shower they want to sit down and "design" the cake 
!
So at the end of the shower, we went upstairs and looked at my website. They proceeded to tell me that instead of 50, it is now more like 150 and she picked one of the most intricate cakes on my website that she wanted replicated -- nothing like the cake I did for the mom and my uncle! She then went on to tell me that she wants a custom monogram on the front and a rose topper. I say "who is doing your flowers" and mom looks at me like I am crazy and says "we are," which is fine. But then I say "where are you getting your roses, when can I get them for the topper?" And she says "we don't know yet, you just get them from whereever you want, I am sure they will be fine!" WHAT!!!!
And yes, I know I should have said something in the moment, but I really didn't want to start something.
I just wanted to post to vent and also pass along my life lesson -- Earlene Moore used to have a comment on her site (and it may still be there) that said that she never tells a bride she will gift her cake until after the design and details are set. I have always tried to stick to that advice, but in this instance had a lapse of judgement 
and made a BIG mistake!! Now I am buying roses, making toppers and monograms, and making a big fancy cake for free and I did it to myself!!!
DH made a good point last night -- everyone wants something small and simple when they are footing the bill; however, if it is free, why not go all out!!!
Sheesh!!! If I were in your shoes, I probably would have said since it was only for 50 people, you thought it would be ideal as a gift. Now if they want a cake for 150, they should cover expenses that go over the 50 servings. I only thing that's fair. They shouldn't expect you to feed 150 people because you mentioned initially that it was a gift! *rolling eyes*
I agree with fooby, she should pay the cost of the 100 extra servings, and I don't understand why you are buying the flowers. Too many freebies for me. I'm upset for you. I would remind her of what the original plans were. Well, hope all turns out ok, and they appreciate what you do/did.
I subscribe to Duff's way of thinking . . . if its a gift, its my say design.
If they want something so large and elaborate, then they should at least pay for supplies. I would contact the MOB and let her know that even though you are going to be recovering from surgery, you agreed to do the cake because you were given the impression that it would be a small, relatively easy design. However, due to the difference in size and design that was discussed at your meeting, you need to let her know that it is a far more expensive and time consuming cake than was originally discussed. Although you are happy to do the cake, the time and expense that goes into creating such a beautiful design makes it necessary for you to ask the MOB to pay for supplies. UP FRONT! Also, you are not a florist and as such you will not be able to provide flowers. If they want flowers on the cake they must be delivered to you at YOUR convenience.
If they don't like it they can always go back to the original design. I would even offer to do the original cake as discussed, and then a cupcake tower for the additional guests. If you stuck with a simple design it wouldn't be too horrible . . . and its so popular now!
Good luck!
I subscribe to Duff's way of thinking . . . if its a gift, its my say design.
If they want something so large and elaborate, then they should at least pay for supplies. I would contact the MOB and let her know that even though you are going to be recovering from surgery, you agreed to do the cake because you were given the impression that it would be a small, relatively easy design. However, due to the difference in size and design that was discussed at your meeting, you need to let her know that it is a far more expensive and time consuming cake than was originally discussed. Although you are happy to do the cake, the time and expense that goes into creating such a beautiful design makes it necessary for you to ask the MOB to pay for supplies. UP FRONT! Also, you are not a florist and as such you will not be able to provide flowers. If they want flowers on the cake they must be delivered to you at YOUR convenience.
If they don't like it they can always go back to the original design. I would even offer to do the original cake as discussed, and then a cupcake tower for the additional guests. If you stuck with a simple design it wouldn't be too horrible . . . and its so popular now!
Good luck!
Katie - my DH tells me that quote from Duff all the time!!! I'm actually baking the cake now.
Thank you all for your kind words. I really just needed to vent! I dread the whole affair tomorrow!
Ugh! People! I'm doing a cake for my cousin's wedding this weekend, too. I'm giving them an $800 cake for only $150 and I had to listen to my Aunt go on and on and on about how the groom's mother thought I was too expensive and they had to just flat out tell her they were having me make their cake no matter what. ??? Good grief!!
Ugh! People! I'm doing a cake for my cousin's wedding this weekend, too. I'm giving them an $800 cake for only $150 and I had to listen to my Aunt go on and on and on about how the groom's mother thought I was too expensive and they had to just flat out tell her they were having me make their cake no matter what. ??? Good grief!!
I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this issue this weekend also!! Too bad they don't realize what an awesome deal they are getting!!
People suck! Maybe it's just me being grouchy......my 5 year old had a huge temper tantrum this morning 
....haven't had coffee yet either. But still, sometimes people really suck.
Well, since you're stuck doing it maybe you'll have some pain pills for after surgery? You could take one of those and make a really groovy cake (and you really won't care what they think of it!) 
I've only done one cake for the cost of supplies but they were very grateful and appreciative so I was happy to do it. I've learned that everybody has a sob story though. It's that "Okay kids, let's everybody get into your worst looking clothes and we'll go on down to the Lexus dealer and get us a new car" thinking.
I don't mind helping someone who really needs it but I get grumpy when I sense I'm being manipulated or taken advantage of. (I'm nicer about it now but my family used to call me "The Terminator" )
Want me to come over? 
Well, since you're stuck doing it maybe you'll have some pain pills for after surgery? You could take one of those and make a really groovy cake (and you really won't care what they think of it!)
I've only done one cake for the cost of supplies but they were very grateful and appreciative so I was happy to do it. I've learned that everybody has a sob story though. It's that "Okay kids, let's everybody get into your worst looking clothes and we'll go on down to the Lexus dealer and get us a new car" thinking.
I don't mind helping someone who really needs it but I get grumpy when I sense I'm being manipulated or taken advantage of. (I'm nicer about it now but my family used to call me "The Terminator" )
Want me to come over?
You guys make me laugh!!! Well, the wedding is over!! They had told us the church was about an hour away -- it took us almost an hour and 45 minutes to get there (and that was with DH's lead foot)!! We got there and they were using the same room for the "reception" (I use that term loosely) and the bride's dressing room. I was on my knees piping borders on the cake and the other friends and family were walking over me, taking pictures, chatting, etc. DH goes with me to set up almost every wedding cake and even he thought it was rediculous!!! He was so irritated by the time it was done!
Fran -- I did still have some pain pills -- and I think they were all that got me through the day 
!!!
I used to have one of those crazy things called a backbone -- but the older I get the more I seem to become a pushover! And I think everyone knows it! I did a cake last weekend for a friend's daughter's 7th b-day (for free). She then called this morning to ask if I could make another cake this coming Tuesday (and she knows I have a wedding for 500, a grooms cake, a shower cake, chocolates, and some misc. cakes to do this week) for her actual b-day day (again for free I am sure). I was already so irritated over the free cake of the day and didn't want to be snotty, so I just said, "so sorry, I'm putting on my eyelashes and can't do both at one time -- blonde moment you know! I'll talk to you tonight!" Needless to say, I haven't had it in me to call her back since we have been home!
With all that whining and complaining behind me, it actually was a really great cake. Everyone thought it was delicious and it was one of my favorites. I am glad to have it in my portfolio. I was even proud of my pink roses topper!!
You guys rock!!!
Where's the pic? I'm dieing to see it. Is it the one in your pics with the red roses? That one's beautiful!
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