Whan An Insult Stepson And Fiance...urrrgh(Venting Long)
Decorating By jarjam1026 Updated 22 Aug 2007 , 6:07am by mommachris
I have a step-son who is getting married in November for the second time. The first time he got married he told me right to my face "you are not good enough yet to make our wedding cake"...I had only been decorating cakes, including wedding cakes, for 13 years so I kinda considered myself somewhat "good"...now for this wedding he wants a "professional" to do his cake. NOW I have been decoratin for 21 years...still not good enough for him. I am GLAD he didn't ask me...that way I didn't have to tell him HELL NO...I figure that he can ask HIS MOTHER to do it...
Perhaps if you had made his first cake....he would still be married! 
Bad karma to insult your mother 
One small correction, Luxe42, I am NOT his mother!!! 
I don't want to be blamed for bringing him into the world!!! 
Can you tell there is no love lost between us???? His father and I have been married for nearly 21 years and he is still trying to get "mommie and daddy back together" ...get over it, you little brat!!
Luxe42...I know that you didn't say it to offend me...I was just giving you crap!! Don't take it personally! If you knew him, you would agree with me that you would NOT want to be blamed for his coming into the world. He is such a little know-it-all, stuck on himself so bad, obnoxious, do you want me to keep going? It's almost lunch time and I really hate to think about him when it is time to eat!!
I tried to write it so that you would feel the humor, but I guess I didn't do it.
Sounds like you really don't like your step-son & his fiancee, so I don't know why you agreed to make the cake in the first place (so you could whinge about it later ?? )
When was the last time he tasted your cakes ? Is it really such a big deal to make a cake for dessert for when they visit ( with the flavours they'd like & icing - no need to decorate it ) ?
Seems you're making a mountain out of a molehill to me.... 
Seems you're making a mountain out of a molehill to me....
Obviously you have limited exposure to a$$hole relatives!
According to the original post, they TOLD her she was making the cake for free, then they not only want to taste-TEST the cake, but they tell her they want the sample cake DECORATED.
I don't do that much for my PAYING customers, let alone my own kid who appears to have an attitude about "testing" my cake (that they've eaten for the past few years) that they are EXPECTING for free.
As I said .... let me bend over to make it easier for 'em to kiss my a$$.
OK, maybe a little harsh, but if you dislike him so much, say you're unable to do it - you obviously didn't want to do it in the first place even tho' you said "cool " & now every request is an imposition....why not make them pay for ingredients for" tasting" cake & wedding cake ???
I do know all about PITA relatives - I'm pretty much estranged from my mum & twin sister 
(if this is a double post,blame my almost 2 yr old who loves pressing buttons !! )
Stick to your guns
I don't charge for tasting but I am getting annoyed when I give them 8 flavors in a sample box and they call me because they want to try two more flavors.
To make a cake in their combination means you going to the expense of making the cake.
I feel if someone taste your cake two or three flavors and know your cake is good then they need to trust the the combination they want is going to be good as well.
normaly i wouldn't pipe up in heating debates like this but if you don't like what your reading. turn the page.
as for the step children i dont have any but i do have step parents on both sides.. one's been as good a father to me as he could be; we've had our moments but thankfully i was old enough to understand alot more then most are able to when t hrust in with step parents.. the other one lets just say i can't even bring myself at 35 (i was 12 back then) to call her step mom..its a stretch to even call her stepmonster- not to her face as i do respect my father enough not to- but when i talk about her to my husband (which is also rare) I've always treated them with respect but have recieved little if any from "her" as she always saw me as a reminder of my mom.. if others ask about her i simply say my fathers wife. its the best i can do with our history considering.
hey i had a hard time getting along with my mom too growing up but like my step dad we've reached a point of understanding i guess lol. at least we get along- it took living 3 hours away to do it but at least we were able to do it and for that i'm grateful. my father and his wife live 3 states away and its still hard. but the rest is a looong story lol..
Some folks need to have the boundaries set for them laid out plain obvious. sometimes a non literal slap in the face reminds them where they are. sometimes- its not pretty- but for those that work at it- relationships can be built---- even 30 years down the line.. ok before i ramble- both step moms who posted here- good job. you have my respect - if it matters any
I have a step monster and siblings too. Thank goodness I never see them, because they are very self centered. (These people were upset when I was temporarily discharged from the hospital at 8 months pregnant to be at Dad's and her wedding and SAT in the front pew rather than stand next to them like her kids. 
It was just so rude and disrespectful of me, or so she said. Hello?? 
complications?? Bedrest?? I would have much rather stayed in my un-comfy hospital bed than be there!)
I understand what extended families are like. It sounds like this cake isn't the first time you've gone head to head with this kid, and if your husband is on your side, there's obviously more problems and situations we don't know about. Great job on standing your ground and a huge round of applause for that awesome husband of yours!
I have to throw in my empathy here... but mine was from the other direction. The 'step' relationship can be so hard. My step-mother was mentally and physically abusive to me, even though I was a decent kid. She just hated me from the get go. It sounds to me like your step-son is no walk in the park, but hopefully, as the bigger person, you'll do your most amazing work and he will be impressed and learn something by your example. (I know, doubtful!) It won't be easy, and you will most likely wish you could beat him to death with the bride's bouquet, but hopefully you will make it through and have some amazing bragging rights at the reception! I am sending you an extra dose of patience and serenity to help you through this! 
Do it for your hubby, if not for the ungrateful children. I am sure he is very proud to show off your work.
no offense taken. Thanks Indydebi. I never said i didnt love him. We got custody of him when he was 8yrs.and has been with us since. And the last time they had my cake was 3 weeks ago. white cake pinaple filling same thing they want. except they want me to decorate it with fondant and hand made pearls.
And no i dont like her but tolerate her for his sake. And agreed to do the cake because of him. He had even asked if i would do an Armadillo grooms cake. even though i've never made one i told him i would make it even if i had to try over and over.
But dont come acting like youve never had what you want to taste.
Melvia Thanks. the thing is my hubby is the one that was against me making it after he asked the first time. The sad thing is that i have made three major cakes in the last two months with what they want and other filings as well and they still want a taste.
If he would have called and said "Hey julie, can you make a cake so we can have while were ther this weekend. Feel like eating your. then i would have gladly made one. but to act as they are going to consider me making the cake. no i dont think so. I love him like he were my own, but i aint gonna be made a fool.
I see how you would feel that way jarjam. But they are your family and even though this girl sounds like a brat, this is the biggest day of her life. Can you blame her for wanting it to be flawless? I think that asking you to decorate a sample cake is ridiculous, but why not bake them a cake for tasting (yes, even though they have tasted it before.) This is an exciting (and stressful) time for them, if it's not too much trouble for you, IMO you should just do this to make them happy. Even though they are getting a deal on their cake, I'm sure they still want it to be just right : ). I guess the way I think of it, you have to pick your battles, and I don't think it would be right to cause problems (even though it's not your fault) at this hectic time for them. I would let it go and just be honest about the decorating part but offer to make a cake when you have time.
What if you just offer to do his armadillo grooms cake ,and tell them to go elsewhere for the wedding cake? That way you won't be making a 500+ cake, can enjoy doing a fun cake with less pressure, and it'll be ALL for your step-son not your daughter in law?
Then taste testing won't be an issue anymore ,and it might be a happier medium for everyone? They get a cake from you. You also won't have to deal with flavors, indecisiveness, them being completely ungrateful and your daughter in law.
Just a suggestion. I hope everything works out.
Two things...first, I really like the suggestion of doing the 'fun' armadillo cake for your step-son and leaving the wedding cake to the bride and her family to duke it out and make someone else's life a living hell!
Second, someone said 'pick your battles'.....excellent advice. IMHO, this is where THEY should have picked their battles......" Hmmmmmmm, I'm getting a free cake. Made by family ~ perhaps I should show some sign of appreciation, acknowledge their generous gift of time, etc. Instead of treating them as if they were a potential employee that I want to hire".
This is a battle worth picking because if they get away with this crap now, just wait until she has a baby.....and then every birthday afterwards. It will always be expected for you to make the most elaborate cakes (for free, of course) and they will undoubtedly STILL ask for samples....even if they were at your house the night before!
A zebra never changes their stripes 
Good for you and thank you to your hubby!!! it is great that he is sticking up for you gotta love a guy that will do that. It just kills me to see people get taken advantage of. I just started doing this for money and after reading all the threads about getting taken advantage of for friends and family I have told myself i will stick to my guns when it comes to that. We will see when the issue arises (and i am sure it will) hopefully i can be as strong as you.
life is too short to waste time making a cake for someone who doesn't appreciate you.
You'll be imagining your hands around the bride's neck when you squeeze the pastry bag. You'll wear your self out!! Not nice...sorry I put that image in your head.
Repeat after me.
"Nope, not going to do it.
Couldn't possibly fit your cake into my schedule.
No way, not me. Better get someone else honey cause step mommy doesn't want to play games with you."And remember to bring your check book to that tasting you finally get with your baker when you find one." 
mommachris
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