Oy!!! I don't know what I am doing... or if I am doing the right thing! Advice... please! Ok... so here is the story... I have 5 kids... 21, 16, 15, 14 and 8 yo. My 16 and 15 yo are at band camp... they left on Sunday afternoon... both girls. Not bio sisters... the 15yo is mine and 16 my hubby's, born on the same day EXACTLY one year apart and very close. Anyhow, Alyssa (my dd) has never been to band camp and just joined color guard for the first time this year... she has always played basketball to this point. Another girl that was in guard quit and a friend of Alyssa's convinced her it would be fun for her to fill the girls spot since once the drill is written... if anyone quits they need to fill that spot with someone. So, she joined after the others had been practicing for about 3 weeks. Anyhow, she calls me from band camp Sunday night and is in tears, she wants to come home! She just got there!!! Anyhow, I convince her she is ok. She calms down. Monday morning, afternoon and evening... at least a dozen more phone calls for a bit more hysterical nature... she is definately losing it. I call the cell phone for the band director, camp, and any other adult that I know is there. They have very weak reception. She starts to claim she is ill. They let her set out practice and send her to bed for the evening practice... several more tearful phone calls to me and then she gets her Dad in it. Geeezzzz... Finally, she talks to the band director and then she seems better. Tuesday morning, one tearful call, afternoon a barely under control call but she knows I am coming down to visit Tuesday evening. Tuesday evening, watching her practice... she does great and everyone there says she had a better day. When it is time for me to leave she breaks down and keeps begging as she has all along to come home. Band director says she is out of color guard if she leaves... she says she does not care. I tell her she will be ok... and that it's just a few more days. This morning another tearful phone call... this is KILLING me... I think it's best that she stays. It's only until Friday afternoon... I think because she came in so late that her confidence is low and because it is her first time at band camp and in guard she has not made that many close friends... I know if she can just get through this week it will be ok... but, man! It is soooo hard. She has me in tears by the time we get off the phone... though, I do not let her know... I mean this is the daughter who went on a 10 day trip with her school up and down the East Coast. No tears!!! Who goes away for weekend trips with friends families... no tears! I talked to my other dd and she said she does not think that Alyssa is home sick... she thinks it's a lack of confidence thing... Jeepers... who knew having kids was sooooo hard!
okay...well I did color guard in highschool and one year in college. IT IS HARD!! It isnt like you are in the band and can fake it. Band camp is very very intense. It is stressful trying to learn a bunch of routines and techniques.
Now let me tell you my little story. I decided to try out in college. It was much more difficult than it was in highschool. Anyway I just barely made the guard as an alternate (but I got to march in every game either pre game or half time). Anyway after I was in it a couple of days I was wishing I just hadnt made it at all! One of the other girls on the squad had fallen and hurt her ankle. I was so jealous! I needed an excuse to get out of it. So the wheels started turning. I am thinking if somehow I can manage to fall down a flight of stairs or twist and break my ankle, I would be home free. But the thought of actually hurting myself...I just couldnt do it. And I just couldnt quit and be a quitter. I had a major breakdown in my dorm room and my roommate helped me though it. So I stuck it out. It was very hard and sometimes it was awful. But in the end it was a lot of fun and rewarding. But I didnt go back for another year LOL!
So I would encourage her to stay. I am assuming it is the stress that is getting to her, rather than being home sick. Tell her to get a little note book and write down the routines with counts etc and practice when she gets home. It is very easy to forget the routine in a couple of weeks before practices start up again. She will have plenty of time to learn everything. I promise. If I can do it, your dd can.
Thank you... it's good to hear. I was in marching band myself in high school and it was fun but those first two years at band camp... stunk. It is work... and I know that the band often thinks the guard isn't that hard... but, from what I have seen... it is WAY more work than band. I think I am doing the right thing... just good to hear it... ya know???
teacher 31 years speaking..
and before that brother to band rat sister (clarinet)
and touring concert choir member....
drama student, teacher and coach
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do NOT let her quit.
she's learning a lesson for LIFE.
tough times WILL come....and she needs to learn to tough it out.
OH the times I wanted to quit the choir, or the current play -- kill the director !!!!!!! ---
but I stuck it out and after all was said, cried, shouted, pouted about... they are experiences I would never want to forget. They've become fond memories I will treasure forever (and bore my students with ...."And then there was the time.....")
yep, it's tough...
expect lots more tears before the end of the season.
expect to spend many hours waiting for practice to be over as you sit at the side of the field (or possibly surrounding the field in cars w/ headlights on as practice is running sooooo late.
expect to have band members invade your house
expect to be "mom's taxi service"
expect lots of laughter, silly moments, costume malfunctions (carry a sewing kit at all times!)
expect lots of fun
expect lots of wonderful memories and chest-busting proud moments.
and don't forget the camera!!!
Ohhhh... now you've done!!! I am sittin here bawlin!!! Thank you for your words of encouragement! It's always soooo hard when they seem sooo miserable. I just know she will be ok... just needed to hear I was doing the right thing!!! Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!! From the bottom of my heart!!!
ps...hope your band doesn't have the tradition my friend's hs band did (all 3 in the band: trumpet, percussion, clarinet)
every year -- all the newbies --- total TP of the house and yard!
be warned --- there are lots of "traditions"
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and if the band has a parent's boosters club -- do join. great way to share the misery and the joy and make new friends.
Grrrrreat!!! Just Great! Hmmm... you suppose having tow very large dogs will scare em off???
you're kidding right?
never ever underestimate the ingenuity of band kids....
they'll find a way! (bribe the dogs w/ steaks???) even get them to "help"
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the other band moms & dads will fill you in.
band is a universe unto itself!
And no...generally the band does not respect the color guard. They called us "flaggets" in highschool. I wish they could have all tried it. I was in the band too...it was not like I did not know how to play an instrument. Anyway it was like the percussion picked on the brass, the brass picked on the woodwinds and everyone picked on the colorguard. Doug is right, it is a lesson in life and she will survive.
Yeah... they still call them "flaggets". Drama, drama, drama... Just talked to her again on her lunch break and she was "holding it together"... just barely. I think she will make it. Just so hard when I am here and she is there... sometimes watching your child learn is the hard and letting them learn... even harder!
just tell her there is someone else who knows exactly what she is going through. It seems like it was just yesterday...well back in the 90's anyway LOL!
i am sure she probably has thought of something similar! Sorry!
I just noticed you are from michigan too. Whereabouts?
Oh, how heart-wrenching! I agree with the others. Don't let her quit. My dd did four years of HS band. I think Army boot camp would be a a stroll in the park by comparison! It really is run militarily. We are all so grateful for the experience. Marching band (and color guard and cheer, etc.) are such incredible character builders. Good luck to you and your little darling!
Hudsonville...the maker of the ice cream? MMMMM!
Just a thought, next year maybe you could volunteer to help out at Band Camp. My husband did while my son was in camp and everybody was happy. My husband's job was to make ice runs for the gang. My son, an only child, got to see his dad daily, even though he acted like he wasn't there. And I had piece and quite at home alone, knowing that father and son were bonding. LOL. Once you child finds her group of friends in band, things will get better. Then it becomes a club-like environment.
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