Sorry, this is just a stupid personal vent. So my DH's family wants to do a family vacation next summer. Rent a 5 bedroom home on a lake. Sounds okay but there will be 16 of us! 8 of which are children under the age of 7(and a new born by next summer)! I feel the tension rising already. A long weekend I could handle, but an entire week seems just too much to me. My SIL found this 5 bedroom place and basically asked which week was best. I was like can't we shop around a bit? I really feel like separate cabins at the same location would be better. I think my DH feels the same way, but he just doesnt ever back me up!! I sent out a couple of other suggestions, but I guess they don't like my ideas. I guess what is bothering me is that my husband doesnt back me up and goes along with everyone else. It makes me feel like if I voice my opinion I am going to be the grumpy one who wants to spoil it for everyone else.

Anyway I know this is silly, but it is just bothering me!! I just wish I felt I had some say in these things. I feel like everything always get planned for me. I guess there are too many 'planners' in the family. Dont get me wrong, I love my DH family. But I hope I still love them after an entire week together!! LOL!

I'm not one for the togetherness thing, either. My family and DH's family have both suggested this type of thing in the past, and I just stated to them that I need more privacy than that. Now they know. We take cruises together, now, and actually enjoy each other's com[any and don't have to be all up in each other's business all the time. Most likely, someone else feels the same way as you but is afraid to speak up.

I would speak up...........that doesnt sound like fun to me at all........give me the seperate cabins any day!

Stand your ground, Merissa!! My DH's family always used to do this, but we never went with them. I had heard TOO MANY horror stories from the family members. If they want to share a big house, more power to 'em....but you and yours can get a nearby cabin. Still on vacation together, but not on top of each other 24/7.
Personally, I'm a big ol' grump...I like to use my vacation to get away from everybody and everything, so I don't like to go with anyone but my DH and kids.

okay so I am not the only one!! 7 DAY and 7 NIGHTS!!! IN THE SAME HOUSE!!! I suppose there are worse things in life to have to live through. I was really wanting to take a vacation with just us (DH and kids) next summer. Of course it was MY DH who got the ball rolling...thanks for talking to me about it dear! I think that my DH fondly remembers a lot of family vacations with cousins, aunts and uncles, grandparents. I, on the other hand did not have those experiences. I am an only child and just did trips with my parents. while I love now having a big family now, I like to be able to do my own thing. That is why I think it would be great to have our own accomodations, but be able to spend the days together. I think I am going to have to grin and bear it though. I will just try and go into this with a positive attitude.

Oh and I think they do know that I would rather do something different, but since they all want one thing and my DH doesnt chime in on my behalf, I feel like I would be beating a dead horse.

can I ask where you will be going? I have been doing some research for different cabins lately for a vacation coming up and have found quite a few places that have one LARGE cabin (more of a large house) with an apartment down stairs in a finsihed basement and even another 2 bedroom cabin on the same property so a family could get all of it and still have some room to spread out.

I highly suggest checking out www.vrbo.com it has vacation rental homes that are by the owner, and you can find a wide range of sizes and prices on there. This is the site I went through to find our places for our vacation. It was great getting to speak to a real person instead of someone who it is just there job to take reservations.

HTH

thanks, I will check it out. It looks familiar, I might have happened upon that site before. We are looking in michigan, though I would be look within 10 or less hours of driving for somewhere really nice.

I can only handle a weekend with his or my family. We'll go on vacation with family for longer but it must be in our own dwelling. I wouldn't be able to take it and neither would DH.

It is going to be too much for me, and I know it. We just had everyone here on Sunday night. Just one night was okay, but we were climbing all over eachother. I just dont think the kids will be able to take a break from eachother. Everyone kept worrying about the little ones being woken up by the older ones. I know i am going to get annoyed about everyone wanting to do things their own way. But I think this is really going to happen...so I guess I will just put on my best smile and deal with it.

Sounds like you will be needing some alcohol, then! Good luck!

yup!!!

Up until last year my own family would do similar vacations . . . . I hate them.

Everyone gets built up for the vacation, then spends the entire time tearing each other apart and complaining. Its a disaster!

My uncle is smart about it . . . he has always stayed at a hotel or other rental. He isn't rude about it, he just prefers to be able to have a little privacy. My own family started following his lead a few years ago simply because it takes a lot of the stress away.

The good thing about long family vacations is that you don't have to be there for the entire time. Tell them you aren't sure you can go the whole week, but you will go ahead and book a hotel room for the days you can be there.

Another thing we did that saved on stress was to assign nights to cook dinner. We all went out to dinner together one night, the rest of the time we cooked at the house. My mom and I would do one night, my aunt the next, etc. It was easier than having everyone in the kitchen trying to do their own thing each night . . .

Yes, thanks for the tip on cooking. I assume that is what we will do. I only hope on my days, that they will just leave me alone to do it. My MIL is great, but she sort of pushes her views (especially about food) at you. Well no one has let me know that we need the deposit down for the place yet, but I image it will be coming soon. I just hate to spend all that money on a vacation that I don't want to do. I just don't see why they don't see that separate accomodations could be better! So it might cost a couple extra bucks but we would ahve 3 more bedrooms, 6 more bathrooms, 3 more kitchens and a lot less stress! We can still be together as much as we want to be. Again, I am beating a dead horse. Sorry.

Wow - I would definately speak up; this is your time to relax - not wait for bathroom time or step over someone else's slippers every morning.

After reading this post I feel blessed. Every year my family rents a big place in Utah for a ski vacation and we have a blast - no tensions, no stress, all fun and games; - up to 15 of us at a time - guess I'm one of the lucky ones.

My Husband would soooo pay dearly for making me go on such a trip! Good luck to you!

well don't get me wrong, I love them all dearly. It is just I like a little alone time. I like for the kids to have some quiet time and space away from eachother. I don't want to have to share my room with 3 children for a full week. Oh well, we will see what happens.

we do the family gathering thing with my dh's family too. luckily it's just for a weekend. *whew!* i love them all dearly as well, but somethings always happens. last year my dh & i and my sil & bil got stuck with a huge grocery list, while everyone else just had a few items to bring. this year sil & i planned the event! WE are in charge of the grocery list.... we found a sweet lodge in hocking hills that can accommodate 13 people, 5 bedrooms, a huge kitchen, a game room in the basement.... should be fun. dh's fam likes to stay up late, so hopefully the noise won't keep my girls up (they're 4 & 2). and hopefully dh's dad won't keep us up like he did last year! the man snores like a freight train!

We did a group vacation one time. ONCE. My BIL had access to a condo in South Carolina. Because he was working, he was only able to drive his wife and 2 kids down, stay for a day, then he had to go back home. (They had another week at this condo reserved for later in the summer). Me, my DH, our 2 kids and MIL drove down. After BIL left, it was the 8 of us with 1 vehicle. Our family (the 4 of us) wasn't able to do anything as a family - everything we did included everyone else because we had the vehicle. And, because the niece and nephew were younger, we had to do everything around their napping/sleeping schedule.
To make matters worse, my FIL had just died a month earlier. So every night, MIL would knock on our bedroom door crying and DH would go out and spend an hour or more trying to console her.
We were so miserable, DH, kids and I left 2 days earlier than planned.