I decided to post here for ideas on potty training. I figured this is such a diverse group of people that maybe someone could help. First a bit of a story about it then my questions. Sorry so long.
My 2 yr old dd tells me last Friday, no more diapers. More like almost throws a fit because she thought I was going to put them in the cart. So I agree with her no more diapers. When we get home she puts on the underwear we have already bought for her. (She refused the training underwear. She wants the pretty flowery type ones.) She does okay. Makes a few messes the first few days.
One day after asking if she needed to go about every hour and having her refuse, I just decided to let her see what would happen. That day after lunch she goes into the bathroom to wash her hands. We hear her scream at the top of her lungs, then she starts crying. She says, "Mom, I peed in my underwear. Why did this water running make me go pee?" At that point her brother(He's 4 and her biggest cheerleader) and I are cracking up. He tells her that if Mommy says to go pee she needs to go pee. No more peeing accidents for a few days. And she stays dry when we are gone and dry even at night.
Now that she pees pretty well in the toilet we are having problems getting her to go potty in it. She did Tuesday and we celebrated. I jumped up and down and got all excited. Her brother like I said before is her biggest cheerleader. I think the neighbors could have heard him he was so excited. He had me call their dad, Memaw, and Nana so they could know.
Memaw bought her a dress for being a big girl. But that is the only time she has done it in the toilet. She does it in her underwear even in her sleep because she has held it back. She acts frightened to actually do it on the toilet. It's to the point that I'm afraid she's going to get constipated.
Does anyone have any suggestions on what to do to help her be more comfortable to using the toilet to go potty? Someway we can get her just to relax? We have a potty seat that goes on the toilet. She doesn't want to use it or use a potty chair. She uses a step stool to get to the toilet and just holds herself up (and yes she has fell in once). To go pee she does this all alone, I just stand close to the bathroom for support (or to fish her out...lol) if she needs me.
Public toilets are a whole nother story...lol. She doesn't like the loud flush so she'll just wait until we get home. And she can't stand someone watching her when she pees and I have to be in the stall with her.
Thanks,
JuLinda
Patience - that's the only way 
. I had this same issue with my son. My theory is to be relaxed about it and just let them do what they do in their own time. I think it only does damage to stress either of you out. There is no "magic" technique. She will figure it out. This is pretty normal, by the way - most of my mom friends have gone through this too. Best wishes!!
She'll do it when she's ready. A few months ago I was really worried because my 3 year old still wasn't willing to do anything in the toilet but then I talked to my oldest's gifted teacher. Her son had turned 4 in November and at Christmas they had finally made him start wearing underwear but a couple months later he still wasn't going #2 in the toilet. She didn't seem very fussed about it, said they don't go to college in diapers, and I know she's certified in early childhood education as well as elementary so she would be the one to know when to panic.
I also know someone who tried for well over a year to potty train one of her kids and the kid was hating it and she wouldn't put her back in diapers for a while because she kept saying they were so close. 
She was punishing this kid over accidents and then couldn't figure out what the problem was.
My 3 year old will now pee in the potty but won't do #2 yet and he's almost 4, I'm going with the theory of the teacher since they tend to know what they're doing.
I thought my dughter was the only one! She freaks out in public bathrooms when the toilet flushes. Now she just covers her ears, but we have a heck of a time with the ones that have automatic flushes. If there is one she will refuse to go. But if she really has to go, then I have to hold on to her.
Anyway, my middle son had no desire to go #2 in the potty. He would pee like there is no tomorrow, but the other was another story. We don't think he was scared, just lazy. We tried bribing him with everything under the sun including a trip to Chuck E. Cheese. About 3-4 months after he turned 3, my daughter was about 6 months. My husband put my daughter on the toilet and called him upsatirs and told him that his sister would be going to Chuck E. Cheese before him. He got really angry, but that was the push that he needed because 10 minutes later he went poop on the potty all by himself and has been completely potty trained since.
As for my daughter, nothing worked with her. We tried every form of bribery with her, but she wasn't having anything. The thing that worked in the end was a potty chart posted in the bathroom. All seven days were listed and she got star or smiley face stickers for going pee and special princess stickers for going poops. She was completely potty trained in a about 4 1/2 weeks. It is not to say that she does not still have accidents--she is still lazy, but she is devestated when she wets herself.
Good luck! Yes, it will happen when they are ready, but sometimes if you can find that magic, it is all the better! But whatever is done, it should not make them afraid to go.
I've always heard that if your having a problem with them holding themselves and your worried about constipation to make sure and give them plenty of liquids to drink and feed them foods really high in fiber. I think that because of the high fiber it makes it a lot harder to hold themselves and they have to go weither they want to or not.
Thanks. I just finished cleaning out her underwear because she couldn't hold it any longer. Today she goes to pee everytime her brother does. He just hollers at her when he's done and in she goes. He said he didn't like her having messes so he thought he'd help out. My ds was 3 1/2 before he fully trained and he did it all in about 2 weeks. With dd at little over 2, I am not really stressing as much as other family members are which is what makes her fear it worse. (I hear too many times about how I was trained at 18 months. But I always ask how many accidents did you have to clean? With my son about 2 accidents was all and a few times he still might pee his underwear if he waits too long to go.) I don't ever have to clean the mess away from home as she only potties at home or a family members house. Yes those automatic flushing toilets are the worse and what got her started about public toilets. I have told her on the other toilets that I will not flush when she's in the stall. But the automatic ones I'll hold her while she holds her ears. Sometimes that helps especially if she really has to go.
With dd at little over 2, I am not really stressing as much as other family members are which is what makes her fear it worse. (I hear too many times about how I was trained at 18 months. But I always ask how many accidents did you have to clean?
The way my mother puts it is that sometimes the parents are trained and not the kids. 
It amazes me the input some family members have about this kind of stuff, like it's something so important it will be on their job applications or something: Age of Potty Training_________.
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