The Hormone Guide
Women will understand this! Men should memorize it!
Every woman knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!
DANGEROUS:
SAFER:
SAFEST:
ULTRA SAFE:
What's for dinner?
Can I help you with dinner?
Where would you like to go for dinner?
Here, have some wine.
Are you wearing that?
Wow, you sure look good in brown!
WOW! Look at you!
Here, have some wine
What are you so worked up about?
Could we be overreacting?
Here's my paycheck.
Here, have some wine.
Should you be eating that?
You know, there are a lot of apples left.
Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
Here, have some wine.
What did you DO all day?
I hope you didn't over-do it today.
I've always loved you in that robe!
Here, have some wine.
13 Things PMS Stands For:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweat pants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
and my favorite one.
13. Potential Murder Suspect
Forward this information to all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh...
and men who need a warning.
And remember: Money talks but Chocolate SINGS!!!
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming --
"WOW--What a Ride!"
OMG!! That is too funny 
I am printing it off right now to give my hubby
Tonya
I'm ready for my wine now, thank you!!! Too funny!
This is so hilarious. I am going to laminate it and put it on the mirror in my husband's bathroom!!
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