I hope this is the correct spot to post this "plea", but I've looked absolutely everywhere and it seems as though I've tried everything. I think I'm ready to pull my hair out . I need a non-edible fake icing recipe - something that can easily be piped with a decorating bag. What I'm reading is that *lightweight spackling* needs to be used, and ohhh how I've tried that. It still seems to either clog up the tips or is way too runny. Does anyone know of a spackle-to-water ratio that actually works great? Or another household product that would work? Through trial and error I've learned that joint compound does *not* work (it shrinks and cracks) and I'm currently experimenting with regular heavy duty spackle though I suspect when it dries, it will probably crack, too. It piped really beautifully, though.

I have a family reunion coming up in a couple of weeks and my grandmother wants me to bring some of my faux candies to share with our relatives, but I'd really like to jazz up some of the chocolate pieces with some decorative icing. I feel like I keep taking one step forward and two steps back. After over a week of trying to get it right myself, I think I need some help from the experts now, hehe. I know this is done all the time and I just can't get the formula right. Any and all advice would be so appreciated...thank you!

Could you use this icing recipe:

http://forum.cakecentral.com/cake-decorating-ftopict-232741-.html

Thanks for the tip, Michelle, but I'm looking for something that contains no food products and that will dry hard and last forever, basically. Thanks again, though!

Oh, LOL!! How about tile grout? I think you can thin it out.

Perma Ice might be what your looking for....
http://www.bakingshop.com/cakes/permaice.htm
Perma-Ice is the ideal icing for decorating your dummy cakes, show cakes, ice cream displays and much more. Perma-Ice is a non-edible, artificial permanent icing specially formulated for creating beautiful display cakes. It is ready to use, can be colored with non-fading acrylic colors and is washable.
Perma-ice saves the time of repeatedly decorating dummy cakes and spares the frustration of having cakes damaged while in transit or on display. Many professional cake decorators are satisfied users of Perma-Ice to decorate their show cakes and display cakes.

Thanks! I meant to post that the permaice solution is a little too pricey for me ($50 a gallon). Wish it were cheaper!

Try Plaster-of-Paris.