I Can't Help It, I'm Mad ...

Decorating By gabbs Updated 21 Sep 2006 , 12:42am by justfrosting

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gabbs Posted 20 Sep 2006 , 2:13am
post #1 of 18

the mother of my cousin's boyfriend asked about a half a month or more, if i could make his son's cake (he wanted a Ronaldinho cake), so I agreed .. She asked how much in advance should she order her cake, so i said that i always asked minimum 1 week and a half and with a 50% of the cake, she said ok!
Well the days went by, i called her and she said that she still wanted the cake so i was just waiting her call for her to tell me what flavor did she wanted it. She never called and last week i had my little boy very very sick so i forgot all about it, but today she calls me that she still wants the cake but for thursday, that's in 2 days!!!
so I told her that i would do her cake but i couldn't make Ronaldinho's face, so she told me to make his t-shirt, i agreed only beacuse i know them well, but it makes SO MAD that they don't appreciate that designed cakes are an art and that it takes time, u just don't call 2 days before !!! don't u think ???

17 replies
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gabbs Posted 20 Sep 2006 , 2:16am
post #2 of 18


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auntsushi Posted 20 Sep 2006 , 2:28am
post #3 of 18

Why are some of us such people pleasers (me included?). It may be easy for some to just say "you should have told her no". Are we afraid that people will get upset with us? Do we just have to have this happen often enough to "get it" and then we will learn to say no for such short notice? People catch us so off guard sometimes. Would they do this to us if we had a "real" business with a storefront??? Why, why, why do people take so advantage of people? Do I have a big sign on my forehead that says USE ME AND ABUSE ME ????

I'm sorry this happened to you. I don't know what to say. icon_mad.gificon_cry.gif

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TandTHarrell Posted 20 Sep 2006 , 2:35am
post #4 of 18


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gabbs Posted 20 Sep 2006 , 2:36am
post #5 of 18

i know i feel just like u !!! and i'm just like not in these world right now with all that happend with my son... but i should've said no!!!
but it still makes me mad ....

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alicegop Posted 20 Sep 2006 , 2:36am
post #6 of 18

That is a lot of stress! I of all people know how hard it is to say no, and should do it more often, but I think that I would have spent some of those 2 days crying!

How did it come out?

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gabbs Posted 20 Sep 2006 , 2:40am
post #7 of 18

she made the order today ! so i'm starting to bake, it's not that i don't like it, what i don't like is to work with so short notice and all beacuse i couldn't say NO !!

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Monica_ Posted 20 Sep 2006 , 5:48am
post #8 of 18

I feel your pain. icon_sad.gificon_sad.gificon_sad.gif

I have a bad habit of letting people walk all over me sometimes. When they make outrageous requests, I just blurt out OKAY automatically. Then when I actually think about what I just agreed to? I get so mad and upset.

I guess some of us are just cursed with the ability to come up with the right thing to say only after the fact.

Not to mention I think everybody hates working without the time they really need. My kitchen always ends up becoming a sticky mess from ceiling to floor, my stuff ends up all over the place and I can't find anything, because I'm in such a hurry I can't stop to clean 100% as I go or put things right back into place.

Hang in there.

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JoanneK Posted 20 Sep 2006 , 6:01am
post #9 of 18

I don't think people really have a clue at how much work goes into making a cake. I know I didn't until I started to do them myself.

I don't think they are trying to be rude or ungreatful I really think they just don't understand.

I'm sorry about your little one not feeling good. I hope by now he is.


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sthrasher1 Posted 20 Sep 2006 , 6:03am
post #10 of 18

I do hope that your son is feeling much better=)

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hktaitai Posted 20 Sep 2006 , 6:21am
post #11 of 18

People have no idea how much efforts goes into designing the cake, let alone the physical process of making and decorating a cake. I certainly had no idea what went into a cake until I started doing this myself. You're too nice... but, what goes around comes around, so your generousity will be rewarded some time down the road.

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Dustbunny Posted 20 Sep 2006 , 1:19pm
post #12 of 18

People really have no clue to them its just cake & icing how hard can it be icon_mad.gif Good luck & I hope your son is feeling better.

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yummy Posted 20 Sep 2006 , 5:03pm
post #13 of 18

Boy I tell you, people got a lot of #$%^ with them! Didn't you specifically tell her that you required a week and a half final notice? Why do people seem to think that they can just change or do whatever they want to do, when they want to do it. When you have a home based businesses, people seem to think that they're doing you a favor and you have to do things there way at their convience. I AM NOT HAVING IT!!!!!

Now I appreciate the business, but I will lose out on that particular sale if they even try to stress me out about pricing, their indecisiveness, not keeping to payment schedules ( they will be given a due by date for deposits and final payments as well as a cut of date for making changes. If I set specific dates that's what I mean! Who the hell do they think they are thinking they can be so lackadasical about someone else's time and just do things their way without any regard nobody but themselves. If I don't hear from them by deposit date then it's null and void. Final payments are due 7 days before function, if not, null and void. I am not using my electricity, or putting in any time and effort into making any cakes until all monies are in my hand. I am not going to be charged for a call to someone who seeked me out, made arrangements then now is MIA. Anything less than how I need things to be done since it's my time, shows you have no respect for me, my time, or what I do. NO ONE IS RUNNING ANYTHING THAT IS MINE BUT ME!!!!!! So ladies, stop taking crap from these selfish and ignorant people who don't have any common sense!!! For every handfull of them that you encounter, just remember that there are a boxload of people who respects you and everything you do.

Example true story

I am a licensed child care provider in my home. My brother and I DO NOT get along never have. On a scale of 1 to 100 we are about 32% cool (far and few in between the years) This doesn't affect our relationship with each others kids.

When my niece didn't have any school my ex sil would bring her to me and she paid the daily or weekly rate no problems.

When my nephew was born I would take him for the night or weekend or my brother would ask me to watch him for the day or overnight, no problem.

They live in another borough (I'm in NYC) and maybe about four times their weekday babysitter couldn't watch him so my brother would ask me. Now as long as I have a slot open and his age and the amount of kids in my care didn't interfere with the quidelines stated in my license it wasn't a problem. Until I told my brother he would have to pay my daily fee. He couldn't understand why I was charging him I explained that M-F I am running a business he is considered one of my kids in my care. If the Board of Health or any agency came for a home visit, they don't care if it's family and it's one day. I told him that I don't charge him on the weekends because I am on aunt duty. Do you know that every time he didn't have any other choice during the week and he needed me he still [email protected]#$% and complained and the last time I had my nephew like that he went and told his daughters mother not to bring my niece back to me if I was going to charge her(but again never charged my ex sil on the weekends Why? because I am on aunt duty no payment required! She wasn't going for it , but he made such a big issue out of it, I told my sil no more!

Now my brother is one of the handfuls along with a few parents I 've dealt with over the years. But, I've had boxloads of parents who loves and respects me and what I do for them and they show it.

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JoanneK Posted 20 Sep 2006 , 11:49pm
post #14 of 18

I can see wanting to stick to a plan but I also believe that one should be able to be flexable if at all possible. I think one can be a bit to firm on the rules and that alone can put off many people. Even the people who stick with the rules. Life happens and sometimes miss dates for one reason or another but to say there is no way you will work with a person ever seems a bit ridged to me.

After all the old saying the Customer is ALWAYS right means a lot to me. Without them, you would not have a business. There are many decorators willing to bend the rules to keep a customer happy. I for one wouldn't want to lose a paying customer if I didn't have to.

Now if you already booked another cake then I could understand it but to just let an order go and not have one in its place seems like it could hurt you in the end.

Oh and I would not ever charge my family to babysit. To me family comes first. I understand the one lady has a business but come on. Is it worth upsetting family over a buck or two? Not in my eyes. But then again, to each his/her own.


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lsawyer Posted 21 Sep 2006 , 12:08am
post #15 of 18

Auntsushi......you make a good point: it seems that women are always afraid of others being angry/upset with them, so they allow others to take advantage of them in the name of "peace". We need to get some backbone! If a last-minute order stressed me out, I wouldn't do it, and so what if it caused the other person angst. That's not my problem. Years ago, I was stunned when my grocery store told me that they needed about 5 days notice for a particular cake, but it never dawned on me to get pissy about that--it was merely my tough luck!

AS far as charging family: some will really take advantage of our generosity, others are very appreciative and will reciprocate or send flowers or somehow show their gratitude. Other members........I would charge triple!!! Family often tends to think that "since we're family" the do-er should sholder the costs. Shame on them!

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mkolmar Posted 21 Sep 2006 , 12:15am
post #16 of 18

I can see having her pay to watch the kids during the week. When my MIL watches mine while I'm at school I pay her, any other time she says no because she is on grandma duty. ( In my family if you have to pay someone to watch your kids while you are at work or at school then you pay the family member also---just at a discounted rate icon_lol.gif ) That way no one gets upset, you get a deal for a trustworthy babysitter and they get paid when they could be doing something else, it keeps the arguments of unfairness from happening. As far as the cake I wish you luck, tell her nicely next time if she orders if she could give you the week and a half notice first due to possibly having family commitments or another cake order could take over her spot. Good luck

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mmdd Posted 21 Sep 2006 , 12:24am
post #17 of 18

Could you politely tell her that you're not going to do a cake on such short notice anymore for her; and that you only did it this time out of the goodness out of your heart b/c you reminded her of the time limit, etc.

But, ya know....lots of people that buy grocery store cakes can go in and out the very same day with a cake sometimes, so....

Anyway........I do hope your son is feeling better!!

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justfrosting Posted 21 Sep 2006 , 12:42am
post #18 of 18

I just wanted to say that I (as a new member) am learning so much your posts. I know they are frustrating to experience and write up, but I am learning how to handle possible future problems.

Hope your kiddo is feeling better thumbs_up.gif

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