Dummy Pokers- Please Let Me Vent
Business By SweetThistleCakes Updated 15 Sep 2006 , 4:37am by cakelady
Oh man, I am laughing so hard I am crying! 
My coworkers are staring at me! I'm gonna get a fly swatter next month to shoo away the hands that come near my dummy!
"I pity the fool that touches my cake!"- Fouranglesmommy, that is priceless!
What a great thread. I don't have such cake stories. But, recently we had a garage sale and I had a puzzle out. When I finish a puzzle, I put away all the pieces and tape the box shut. So this box was taped shut and at one point I look over and this lady and her daughter had opened the box and were apparently counting pices. This was a 1000 piece puzzle! I went over and told her if it was taped shut then all the pices were in it. She started to put it away commenting on how she hated getting puzzles at a garage sale only to find out there were pices missing. (HELLO - it's a garage sale) She bought the puzzle and I was even nice enough to go get tape to tape it back up for her. Well, at the end of the day when we were putting away the tables what do you think we found!!! ONE PUZLE PIECE. AAAHHH HA HA HA HA HA - oh my hubby and I had such a good laugh. Serves her right for opening a taped box!!!
If it didn't stink sooo bad; I would suggest something called" Fart in a bottle". Trust me, there would be no cake poking. No one couldn't stand to be around it.
I would start with a very dirty look & ask them to not spread their germs by toucing my cake! Finally result in smaking their hand. I could think of more if my brain wasn't fried from a test in anatomy. Will think bad thoughts later. 
This is all so funny! Thanks for making an angry subject a lot funnier than it was before this thread.
Deanna
I'm awfully glad you have a good sense of humor about this! This doesn't have anything to do with cakes but I have a stupid customer story I wanna share!
I sometimes help my brother out at his laundrymat (not often because I have a low tolerance for stupidity). Anyway, there is one dryer that was stripped for the parts so it has no window in it and masking tape across the coin slot. I had a guy come in one day and put his wet clothes in THROUGH the window of the dryer...didn't open the door, just put them THROUGH the window! Then he proceeds to put his quarter in the slot THROUGH the masking tape! Actually had to BREAK the masking tape! 
THEN this person actually had the nerve to get MAD because there was no "Out of Order" sign on it!! I told him the first sign was no window! What I wanted to do was go get HIM a sign for around his neck...it was gonna read "STUPID"......ya know, some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. 
ROFLOL!!!!!! gailsgoodies, that's hilarious!
Deanna
Inma - I like, no, I love your idea of poking the person back. I am having a little laugh fest in my office over that one. My coworkers are going to know I'm not doing 'real work'.
I'm going to have to share that one with my cake buddy. She's going to totally roll on that one.
It went a little somethin' like this... (a la Bill Engvall)
"Hey, is this dryer broke?"
"Nope, we just got a sunroof put it the front of it..... here's your sign..."
I couldn't be TOO rude...after all he WAS a customer! Another time the motor on the soap machine was broke. We had a sign over the money slot that said "Buy Soap At Desk". Well the stupid lady standing in front of it LIFTED the sign up to put the money in....why?.....because she wanted Downey and thought she could still get that, after all it's not SOAP! Needless to say we changed the sign to read "Buy PRODUCT at Desk" 
OH... MY... GOD...
I just had a bride and her mother come over to finalize her order, and while we were talking she was pointing at some of my cakes in order to reference the size. In order to get a better idea of what it would look like, Mommy decided to PICK UP one of them... BY THE CAKE ITSELF!!! Giant finger holes all through the cake, and this is for my cake booth on Sunday, and I still have 6 real cakes and 5 dummy cakes to make for that!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OH...MY...GOD!! What a tool!! How do these people manage to walk and not FALL DOWN more often!?!?
I laughed so hard reading this post. I loved the one that suggested sending people to school. That one made me laugh the hardest. I used to work at the university here. You would be amazed by the people that work at a university, then again probably not. I had a professor walk up to my desk and pick up my stapler, he stuck his finger in the stapler as far as he could. Then made the statement "You know a stapler will not staple your finger." Then proceeded to staple his finger! He pulls the stapler off his finger and starts trying to get the staple out of his finger. Told him I had a pair of tweezers in my purse if he needed them. No he had gotten it out. Then stood there squeezing it trying to make it bleed. He said it wouldn't hurt so bad if it would just bleed. He turned and walked off. When I heard the double doors close all the way I knew I was in the clear to laugh. I fell out of my chair laughing. The other girl in the office asked did he do what I think he did? All I could do was shake my head because I was laughing so hard I was crying. No way I could talk.
Am I wrong or does a stapler have a brain, so that it can tell the difference between a stack of papers and a finger????
One of the professors asked me once if what he heard was true. I had made the statement that most people with degrees lacked common sense. Told him yes. With each degree they had to turn in a precentage of common sense. The higher the degree the higher precentage of common sense. Working there for the number of years that I did only proved my point!
Melvira, that's awful!! What did you do when she picked up the cake? Did she offer to pay for it? Did you have to bite your tongue? I don't know what I would have done!!
(But we all LOVED the Bill Engvall joke!)
Deanna
Fortunately I was able to stop myself from screaming at her... that's just bad business when you're right in the middle of a sale! 
She really did feel bad, and this is a small town, so I know her really well. I just added a few extra dollars to the bill and she just kept saying she was sorry. She said she could tell by looking around that I was in the middle of major cake work. I explained to her how many cakes I have to make this week and that made her feel worse. I made a big joke out of it in the end, I said "Note to self... don't let Connie back in the kitchen!"
Melvira, you are definately a card! Why don't you put a price on the cake so people can see it and when they ask what it's for, just tell them that is how much ot will cost them if they ruin your cake dummy. It goes under the "If you break it you bought it...." rule.
Melvira, you are definately a card! Why don't you put a price on the cake so people can see it and when they ask what it's for, just tell them that is how much ot will cost them if they ruin your cake dummy. It goes under the "If you break it you bought it...." rule.
My parents used to tell us that if we didnt have the $$ to pay for it, we didnt touch it and we look with our EYES not with our HANDS!
Inma - I like, no, I love your idea of poking the person back. I am having a little laugh fest in my office over that one. My coworkers are going to know I'm not doing 'real work'.
I'm going to have to share that one with my cake buddy. She's going to totally roll on that one.
I would just love to see the look on their face while I poked the person back ...fun! But anyway, I think I felt inspired by what my grandma used to do when people stood in front of us in a parade. I remember one time around Christmas time in Spain (where I'm from) that my grandma, mom, sister and I were going to a Three Kings day parade. We arrived like one hour ahead of time to get a good spot and then five minutes before the parade was going to pass in front of us a woman just came and stood in front of us. I mean, sort of like walking and looking around like if she was looking for someone and then just stayed right in front of us. I don't know if she thought that she was transparent or what but my grandma, whose purse was just like Mary Poppin's, took out a needle and poked the person in the butt. Man, you should have seen their face of ... what happened? while my grandma gave her an inocent smile... I was laughing so hard.... Grandmas, you gotta love them!
Inma
Oh, Inma... your grandma sounds like my kind of woman! 
I admit I am a cut up, and unfortunately my edit button is broken when it comes to someone doing that stuff to me... I would have poked her with the pin and when she looked around I would have said something like, "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't see you standing there, I was so busy looking at the parade." But REALLLLLY sarcastically! It's a good thing I used to be a body builder because sometimes I have to back up this mouth! (kidding, I'm not rude about it!!)
Oh, Inma... your grandma sounds like my kind of woman!
I admit I am a cut up, and unfortunately my edit button is broken when it comes to someone doing that stuff to me... I would have poked her with the pin and when she looked around I would have said something like, "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't see you standing there, I was so busy looking at the parade." But REALLLLLY sarcastically! It's a good thing I used to be a body builder because sometimes I have to back up this mouth! (kidding, I'm not rude about it!!)
ha ha ha ha ha You're hilarious!
Yeah, my grandma is something else. She is 82 and kicking it! And now that you mention it I think she said one time to one of these late comers to the parade: Oye, tú sabes que la carne de cerdo no se transparenta? Hey, do you know that pig´s flesh is not see through? ( It´s a saying in Spain).... Her face was just priceless... I miss my grandma, she´s so far away!
Inma
omg im dying laffing here!!!! Some peoples kids *sigh*
I worked at a computer software company once.. WAY back before there were cd's... you had the choice of 5 1/2" and 3.5" disks. Well, this guy ordered the 5 1/4" disks. He called me SCREAMING cuz he couldnt get them to fit in the 3.5" slot. I asked him why he bought the bigger size and he said something to the effect of there was less to load with the bigger size. ummm... LOL
Some people should just NOT be allowed to procreate.
I think I just stumbbled into comedy central. My ribs are hurting. I can believe what you guys are talking about. I haven't had the experience with cakes yet. But I have a little varity store. Little of everything. Perfumes, nail polish, lip balms, Knives, Wood crafts, Candles, Crafts done with candles. Like I said varity. Any way I have done several craft shows. I have had a craft items with my candles that smell so real like Cherry pie for example. BIG SIGN SAYS DO NOT TOUCH CRAFTS ASK FOR ASSISTANCE. I had all my fake cherries pulled off the plate they were glued to. They thought they were to eat. MY GOD FIRST CLUE THEY WERE GLUED DOWN. DON"T KEEP PULLING TELL YOU GET ONE THEN PUT IN YOUR MOUTH AND SAY OH THIS ISN"T REAL. HERE"S YOUR SIGN
Then at my store I had a hispanic family that comes to my store alot. Parents don't speak english well but teen daughter is perfect english. EVERY TIME SHE COMES IN MY STORE SHE GOES RIGHT TO THE NAIL POLISH OPENS IT AND APPLIES A COAT TO SEE THE COLOR. First time I told her those were not testers not to do it again. I put a sign next to polishes DO NOT OPEN NAIL POLISHES. A few weeks later they come back in. You guessed it straight to nail polish opens it and put some on her nail. I then explained that it is unsanitary to do this and if she does it again they will buy it. A few weeks later here we go again. I charged them for the nail polish. I went over a grabbed the one she tried and put it in her bag. Parents wanted explainaton. I told them in my broken spanish that she tried it so she bought it. THEY HAVEN"T BEEN BACK. MEAN OF ME MAYBE. 
I didn't scream WHAT THE H**L at her like I wanted to. She had already ruined about $10 of nail polish before I did this. I don't even want to go into the one with the guy woh pulled the knife out of the box and cut himself. ANOTHER HERE'S YOUR SIGN KEEP UP THE LAUGHS
Don't you wish people like that HAD to wear signs? That way at least you'd be warned..... A nice big Tag like those nametags that say "Hi my name is" - except this would say "Hi I'm stupid - please do not allow me to pick up, poke, stand near, or touch anything that you do not want broken"........ or "I will be trouble for your customer service person - I will ask stupid and unreasonable questions and then scream, threaten, and demand that I get what I want even though it is impossible...." Or ooh we could put some kind of chip in them like for an electronic fence - then you could put the little "fence" around your display/ at your store door, etc. and then they would get "zapped" if they tried to pass.... heck if mice can learn not to do something again after they are zapped, shouldn't people be able to??? Maybe you could take the chip out after they wised up a bit....... but it may have to be reinserted!
Electronic fences around our cakes.... now you're on to something! And crank up the electricity!
Invisible fences even... you know, like the ones for dogs! Perhaps a moat as well! LMAO!!
This has nothing to do with cake, but has everything to do with poking things you shouldn't.
When I was about 12, I was at the grocery store with my mom. As we rounded the corner into the produce section we saw a little boy, about 7 or 8 standing in front of the plums. He was really focused on these plums and his little arm was moving up and down in a stabbing motion just as fast as it could go.
My mom walked up behind him and saw that he was puncturing each of the plums with a bobby pin. Dozens of them! She simply put her hand on his shoulder and said in her best parental "do-it-again-and-die" voice, "I don't think that they like it when you do that to their fruit."
The little boy dropped his bobby pin, started to cry and declared.....
"You made me pee my pants!"
Sure enough, big ol wet spot appeared on his front side, down his leg and onto the floor.
And that's what you get for poking things you shouldn't!
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