4 Year Old Deciding Entire Cake Design... Vent
Decorating By cakecrumb Updated 16 Jul 2007 , 8:04pm by Tawana
bout the only thing i've done in this area was offer to my oldest when he was 13 if he wanted to make his own cake for his bday. he could have any flavor- icing decor etc he wanted.. idont have it inmy photos yet but he chose strawberry frosting; funfettie cake i think and a candy and marshmallow border ( i forget the candyname at the moment)
i will tell you this. he prepped the pans; preheated and mixed the cake mix himself. made a 2 tier cake and decorated the whole t hing with only verbal instructions from me w hen he asked for reminders.
even my hubby has helped me decorate a few cakes 
okay, maybe you all can shed some light on this for me...
why, oh why do parents let their 4 year olds choose specifically everything that is to go on their birthday cake without any discretion?!!!
i understand that it is the child's special day but seriously if the parent just narrowed it down to a few choices instead of 'whatever you want honey' things would be a lot easier... in my world anyway.
i just had to vent because i have an extremely irritating cake to do for next week and there is no getting out of it because it is a friend. DH is telling me to up the price because the cake is going to be a PITA but i just can't. she's a good friend.
There is nothing wrong with the child saying I want if the parent is willing to pay you for everything that child wants.
Friendship and business don't mix.
I agree, I told my sister I'd make her little boy's cake if she wanted for Labor Day weekend since I'm already traveling with cakes. I'm letting her decide basic flavors and a theme but I get to make what I want since it's free and I'm traveling 6 hours with it.
For my own kids I only tell them what isn't possible and help them decide.
If a paying customer dropped off "reference" material 
for a child's birthday cake I wouldn't care if it's a friend or not I'd up the charge by $50 automatically. So long as they're paying for my time I don't think it would matter what they wanted.
I'm going to come off as the bad mom here. Oh well whats new to me?
My three daughters only have a party every other year. They always have a cake & dinner with just us 5 the years they don't have a party.
During party year: I ask them what kind of cake they want. I draw it out, we compramise. I have them help me plan everything. We start out with a budget, go from there. everything is taken out of that money as we go. what I do is this. If I have say for instance $300.00 budgeted for the party. I put that amount of money in an envelope. The b-day girl goes with me & we shop for everything we need first. Then if there is extra $$ leftover, we'll splurge it on something she wants but didn't seem to be in the budget in the begining. This has turned all 3 girls into coupon/bargain shopping queens. The $$ in the envelpoe doesn't include gifts.
Awesome idea!! You are setting youself up for a much easier time at wedding time down the road!! 
I think I will have to think about the strict budget thing too! DH's family did the every other yr thing when he was growing up. He thinks it is great. They knew that on family years they got more gifts because not all the money was spent on friends so it worked out!
I agree with some of the others that there is nothing wrong with letting your child pick what type of cake, theme, colors, etc., but I am feeling the OP's pain with this one. I have had several parents put their children on the phone to tell me what they want and that is really hard!
This situation is a little different, but I think it is what will happen to some of these kids down the road...a month or so ago I got a call from 15-year-old girl who is having her sweet-16 this coming Saturday. Her mother is a prominent lawyer in town. She told me that she wanted to order ___ cake, for ____ date, etc. It was going to be a really expensive cake. I asked her if she could have her mother call me to talk about the details and she said that wasn't necessary that she was allowed to do whatever she wants for her birthday! I put her on my schedule and decided to just think about it for a week or two and see what happened. I figured if I didn't hear from mom a couple of weeks out I would call her.
About a week ago, I got a call from the mom. She said that the daughter told her she had called me about a cake. I told her that she ordered _____ cake. She said "She ORDERED a cake." I told her yes, that I had asked for a call from the mom, but she said she was in charge of her birthday and could have whatever she wanted. Needless to say, the mom was not happy and ended up changing the order -- it was a topsy-turvy that would feed about 70 and the party is with 13 girls -- but still said that the daughter basically had free reign and to design it ever how she wanted.
I'm very ready for this cake to be over!!
LOL! It doesn't get any better when they get older...
My son - who will be 17 on Thursday told me he wanted a Teletubby cake with a real TV in the belly. He doesn't really like Teletubbies, but he thinks it would be hilarious to have a TV inside the cake. He's been begging for this cake since his last birthday (when I made him the "Go Wild" cake in my photos).
I said no.
LOL! It doesn't get any better when they get older...
My son - who will be 17 on Thursday told me he wanted a Teletubby cake with a real TV in the belly. He doesn't really like Teletubbies, but he thinks it would be hilarious to have a TV inside the cake. He's been begging for this cake since his last birthday (when I made him the "Go Wild" cake in my photos).
I said no.
You go mom! That also sounds like something my 13-year-old would want -- he too would get a no on that one!!
I think the older the boys get (they are 13 and 19) the crazier the requests get!
LOL! It doesn't get any better when they get older...
My son - who will be 17 on Thursday told me he wanted a Teletubby cake with a real TV in the belly. He doesn't really like Teletubbies, but he thinks it would be hilarious to have a TV inside the cake. He's been begging for this cake since his last birthday (when I made him the "Go Wild" cake in my photos).
I said no.
You go mom! That also sounds like something my 13-year-old would want -- he too would get a no on that one!!
I think the older the boys get (they are 13 and 19) the crazier the requests get!
I'm going to come off as the bad mom here. Oh well whats new to me?
My three daughters only have a party every other year. They always have a cake & dinner with just us 5 the years they don't have a party.
During party year: I ask them what kind of cake they want. I draw it out, we compramise. I have them help me plan everything. We start out with a budget, go from there. everything is taken out of that money as we go. what I do is this. If I have say for instance $300.00 budgeted for the party. I put that amount of money in an envelope. The b-day girl goes with me & we shop for everything we need first. Then if there is extra $$ leftover, we'll splurge it on something she wants but didn't seem to be in the budget in the begining. This has turned all 3 girls into coupon/bargain shopping queens. The $$ in the envelpoe doesn't include gifts.
Awesome idea!! You are setting youself up for a much easier time at wedding time down the road!!
I think I will have to think about the strict budget thing too! DH's family did the every other yr thing when he was growing up. He thinks it is great. They knew that on family years they got more gifts because not all the money was spent on friends so it worked out!
I agree. On the family year there is a lot more reign. It is still in control. IMy girls would commit me somewhere if I gave them complete control thinking that I lost what mind I do have.
My son is turning 4 in a couple of months, and we were talking about his cake. I asked him what he wanted and he said "spiderman". That's it. How much input could a child that age possibly give? Like he could say a two tierd fondant cake wtih white chocolate buttercream and rapsberry filling or something that complex.
Sounds like the mom is asking him a million questions and then relaying it back to you.
I have a question. . . is the issue here that the child has picked an ugly/crazy design or is it that he keeps changing what he wants? If it is the first, then though I can understand your frustration in doing an ugly cake, it is the child's cake and to a point, he should be able to choose what he would like for his special day. If it is a matter that the child keeps changing what he wants, then I think you should talk to your friend; after all, if as you said she is a good friend, you should be able to talk to her. Just my humble opinion.
I asked her if she could have her mother call me to talk about the details and she said that wasn't necessary that she was allowed to do whatever she wants for her birthday!
Minors are not able to enter into legally binding contracts. So she was not "legally" authorized to place an order for it.
I asked her if she could have her mother call me to talk about the details and she said that wasn't necessary that she was allowed to do whatever she wants for her birthday!
Minors are not able to enter into legally binding contracts. So she was not "legally" authorized to place an order for it.
That is exactly why I asked to have her mom call me and didn't take the order too seriously until I did talk to the mom. I had time for one more cake on the schedule for that weekend and knew it would't hurt my feelings to have one less to do 
if it fell through!
I could just imagine this young lady as a 4-year-old little girl standing in a cake shop giving the designer her exact details of her cake!!
Well, my son is just three and hasn't really paid attention to the birthday parties yet, other than the presents.
In our household, he gets a choice in a few things. He can wear the red shirt or the blue shirt---hat or no hat. I limit all his choices, if I even give him one. Some things are just not optional. I believe in giving him a right to choose, but geesh---I'm am not spending 20 minutes of my time and his letting him change his mind 50 dozen times about what he wants. If he chooses the red shirt--red shirt it is. Tomorrow he can wear blue. (just an example)
It drives me nuts to see some parents shopping with their children. They are creating monsters!!
Their going to feel they have to be treated like a princess, by EVERYONE. 
Dont' get me wrong. I think children are precious. I waited 13 years for mine...and I'm not about to turn him into a spoiled brat. It's not fair to him or others. 
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