I am crying as I write this ... but I need to let it out .. yesterday my one year old male cat cheddar passed away .. we had no idea he was sick because if we knew I would have done whatever I could have to make him better .. my husband and I have no kids just three cats and they are are babies .. we love them like we would love kids .. it was afternoon only about ten minutes before my husband gets home from work .. and I was laying down on the couch and he jumped up like always and layed on my chest ... I petted him and loved on him and then he jumped down .. and walked over to their toys ... I thought nothing of it .. and he fell down and let out a moan .. and I ran over there .. and found him already passed away .. it happened so quick I called my husband and my mom in a panic .. thankfully my brother lives next door and him and his wife came over when they saw me in a panic on the porch ... when my husband got home he took him to an after hours emergency clinic where he was told by the vet that it must have been his heart ... I feel so awful .. my only job is to stay home and everday my husband says take care of the girls and little man .. and I didnt ... I feel so guilty and angry at God .. everyone is saying that God gave cheddar to me for his short life so it would be a good one ... but I feel so angry with Him because He also would know I would take care of him for life even if it required medicine everyday a hundred times a day ... I dont even know what to say .. I am just crying a river here with my other cats starring at me ... I am just so so sad .. I miss him terribly .. and all the little things that he used to do and all the places he would be are so hard to look at .. he always slept on the bathroom floor while I took my shower .. and he just wasnt there today ...
((((((((((hugs)))))))))
Those little furballs really are a part of the family. Don't blame yourself for this. There was obviously nothing you could've done. Hhe may have had a stroke. I went through the 'what if's' once with my cat Beasley. The whole thing just tore me up.
You gave him a good life. Give your other kitties lots of love and attention, and remember that he will forever have a place in your heart.
Losing a pet is hard, but the pain of it all will get lesser with time. Hang in there and please pm me if you ever want to talk about it.
Denise
Oh sweetheart.....
I am crying now as I type this. Its not your fault that cheddar passed away. Please do not take it out on yourself. I know this will be hard for you to read, but sounds like cheddar went fast, therefore there was hardly, if any suffering.
I wish that I could be there right now to talk to you & cry with you. I understand (somewhat) cause I do not have children & my cat is my baby. Please take care of your self 
Cheddar would want that
(((hugs)))
Monica 
Ohhhhh ... I am SO sorry!!! Please know that this was not your fault at all. It is so hard to lose a beloved pet. My heart hurts for you. We are here for you. ((((((BIG HUGS))))))
Oh, I'm sorry. I would feel the same way if something happened to one of my cats. You have nothing to feel guilty about. You were there for him and showed him love until he died. Maybe he knew he didn't have long and just wanted to say goodbye. I hope you feel better soon and you can talk here if you need to.
oh, I'm so sorry for your kitty. At least you got to cuddle with him just before he passed. He went knowing he was loved
My kitty died about 4 years ago now and I still miss him. He was 13 years old at the time and I'd had him since I was a kid. It was very sad and I loved him so much.
I understand how pets can be such a part of the family.
*hugs*
My heart aches for you. Please do not be mad at yourself and definately don't allow yourself to be mad at God, neither of you are the blame. Sometimes our "babies" are sick or not feeling well without showing too many symptoms. It looks like you already did what you were to do with him and that was to love him and give him a good home.
thanks you guys ... my heart is hurting so bad .. i cant even function right .. all day yesterday and today i have just layed in bed ... this is not my first pet that i have lost but the other two were fifteen and sixteen years old and i knew it was coming ... but cheddar was only one years old and it was so sudden and he was my little man and with three cats my house seemed to small and now with him not under my feet all day it seems to big .. i cant seem to stop crying i just feel like i should have known .. i shouldnt have let him down off me .. i guess i just feel in my heart like i could have saved him im sorry im rambling on .. i just dont know what else to do .. you would think the tears would stop but they keep rolling out i miss him so much so much for my shirt that says great cat mom i couldnt even save my baby
Sweetie,
My heart is aching so bad for you. Please do not blame yourself. How could you have known? It happened suddenly..
You know what? You are such a great MOM to these cats. I thank you for that. Cheddar was so loved & he knew it. 
I just wish I could come & give you a hug right now.
You ARE a great cat mom & you do not forget that.
It really is so heartbreaking when we lose a furry child. 
I am crying just reading about your loss. I agree that Cheddar was very lucky to have you as his mom during his short life here. I will light a candle to help guide him as he crosses over the Rainbow Bridge where he will play and be happy and healthy. I really do understand completely about being mad at God and yourself. I felt the same way a few years ago when I lost a bunny suddenly. I kept thinking "If I had only known".. but they don't/can't let us know.
Just remember, you will get through this, although it will hurt like HE** and it will take some time and you will eventually be able to look back with a smile remembering the little kitty you loved so much. Lots of hugs to you ((((((((((hugs)))))))))).
Teresa
P.S. I am also a firm believer that all of our loved ones, pets included, greet us upon our passing. So you will see Cheddar again - hopefully after you are able to give love and caring to many more animals that need it.
thank you for the kind words and prayers ... today I was finally able to get myself out of bed and function almost normally again ... this heavy weight is just lying on my heart and I told my dh I just dont know how to get through it .. he said I will it will just take time .. I feel sooo guilty about not doing anything .. like I should have taken him to the drs just for a checkup .. I dont know .. cause once he had diarhea .. or his eye was puffy one day .. I dont know how to explain it .. its like now I see a hundred things that I did wrong with him ... I dont know if anyone out there reading this understands what I am saying but I hope so .. because as sympathetic as my dh and family is .. they don't understand how guilty I truly am feeling ...
You really should not feel guilty. You would do something if you could have. My guess is that he had a poor heart to begin with, maybe a birth defect. There's nothing you could have done to prevent a heart attack in a 1 year old cat. You're a goog kitty mommy. Keep enjoying the ones you still have and remember all the good times you had with him
thank you lasombra ... it really helps to hear such nice words right now ..I am trying to still be a good mom to my other girls ... but there is a part of me that just doesnt want to have to deal with them .. cause I dont feel like a good cat mom right now ... thank you for listening ...
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