My husband and I took our 2 & 4y/o kids to our county fair last evening. We live in a small town. The fair is a BIG deal here. 4H is huge in our community & many families actually camp at the fairgrounds all week to take care of their animals.
While strolling the midway, it was sitting in a bar, with all the cigarette smoke! I believe people have every right to smoke if they want to. But I don't want my kids or anyone elses breathing their second hand smoke. Do you think I'm being unreasonable? Couldn't there be a designated smoking area?
Then we saw a man w/a t-shirt on that said "Show me your t_ts," and it had a picture of a naked woman's chest w/the nipples only covered by a logo. I found it very offensive. I can't imagine other women didn't. I feel like writing a letter to the fairboard or something. Am I being crazy or overly sensitive? What do you think?
I am a big fan of NO SMOKING!!!!!!!!! (even though my dm smokes!!!!)
I don't think you're being prude at all. I do think that smokers don't respect non smokers. We all have to breathe the air in, why should us non smokers be subjected to the 2nd hand smoke?!?!
I honestly think there should be a designated area to smoke at all places smoking is allowed!!!
(I'm so bad about the smoke, that if my boys are around a smoker, they will wave the smoke away (imagine the smokers face!!!) they will sometimes say mommy doesn't want smoke around us!)
I know what you mean. We were at a Burger King w/indoor play area a few weeks ago & my 4y/o notice a woman go outside to smoke. When the lady came back Emma asked why she was smoking and told her how bad it is to smoke, that it can make you sick. I was mortified, but the lady took it in stride.
I almost forgot............the shirt!
I hate those things!!! My dh thinks I should be more easy going, but I don't want my young children to see that! I wish they'd never made things like that!!! (not that he thinks its ok, he just doesn't get upset over most things b/c he thinks "that's just the way people are")
I think a mans point of view is so much diff. than a womans. If a woman wore any type of similar shirt to that mans shirt, I think she'd be given funny looks, but I'm sure most people didn't give that man funny looks!
In a family atmosphere, there should be more rules!!!!!!!! I'm in KY, so we're not too far apart!!!
I completely agree with you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You're not a prude, I totally agree with you. Smoking needs to be done in a designated area. If people want smoke that's fine, just not around little kids and those of us who don't. The shirt is just tacky and in poor taste. My brother has shirts like these and I always made him change them when my kids were around. They are little and don't need to see things like that. (he never cared though about changing his shirt, since he agreed with me.--Now that his kids are back in his life he agrees with me even more.)
I have to clarify something...did you say something about sitting in a bar? Or did this all happen on the midway?
I think it may have been a typo. It looks like it was supposed to read "like a bar".
I don't think you are a prude but my DH calls me one all the time so I may not be very unbiased - lol.
I smoked for five years from 16-21 (its been 12 year and thank goodness I never have an urge) so I think I can speak from both sides. I understand smokers feel they have a right to smoke - it is their choice. I think people have a right to make choices provided they are the ones that have to live with any outcome as a result of those choices. Unfortunately, in a public place, it is like making everyone else smoke whether they want to or not. I don't think smokers should be forced to smoke all locked up in their homes, I'd just like it if there were designated smoking areas for smokers like a lot of hospitals and such have. That way non smokers can steer clear.
I won't even get started on those kinds of shirts!
Bring your concerns to the fairboard. There should be a smoking in a designated place only policy even if it is outside. As a parent to 2 beautiful but astmatic kids, I am the first to point out that I would appreciate it if you would smoke else where. My bil isn't even able to smoke outside his car and has to immediatly change his clothes and wash his hands after smoking, when he comes to visit because my girls are so sensitive to the smoke.
As for the shirt, if it is an event mainly by and for the children, there should be a notice stating that inappropriate clothing will be asked to be removed or changed because of the presence of children. Just like at a highschool sporting event.
another offensive site: teenage girls wearing skirts that show off their butts, shirts with there chest hanging out. Unfortunately, we have become a society who doesn't find anything wrong with this type of clothing. I think it would be difficult for the fair to censor the type of clothing people wear. It's a public event. As for the smoking, yes there could probably be a designated smoking area. It would probably be a good idea considering the fair is mainly for children anyway, and they don't need to be around secondhand smoke.
I don't want this thread to get locked because of conflicting veiwpoints, but I have to respond to mmdd: I disagree that smokers don't respect non smokers. I am a smoker, and I am very aware of who is around me when I smoke. I tend to move away from a crowd if I want to smoke. The only place I don't really watch myself is in a bar. IMO that is fair game. It is an adult establishment, and smoking is allowed. I am not proud of the fact that I smoke, and if it was that easy to quit, I would have the several times I tried. Point being...not all of us who smoke are ignorant fools who don't care about the well being of other people. Yes, there are some out there, but stereotyping all smokers is unfair.
Just a to clarify....I am a smoker and here are my 2 cents. It's MY habbit not anyone elses. I don't do it in public and NEVER where it would bother anyone else. It IS an invasion of other peoples personal space and should never be done around children. I see people all the time smoking in their cars with their children in with them...OMG! I thought people knew better! There should be laws passed, such as in California. Most places are illegal to smoke.
I can totally understand all of this. I think the base for how we feel is that the great ole U.S. looks dumbfounded over things like this where in Europe it's the "norm" so to speak. I for one can say you are no prude, you have certain standards and you should never go back on them to please someone else..... I would write a letter stating how I felt that shirts like that shouldn't be permitted to be worn in a family environment, it may not do anything, but at least you know you stood up for what you thought.
Now, It doesnt bother me really to see things like that, and my three boys don't think twice about them because of living in Germany for a few years where you would be walking down the street and see a totally naked man drinking a beer, wearing a stupid hat, but I don't approve of it, I just don't make a big deal about it to my boys.... you know what they say, you make a big deal about something and it will continue.... I think it pretty much worked in my case because a few weeks ago my 8 year old seen a woman wearing a blouse in a bus station that was totally see through and you could see her bra. The lady looked nice and I think it was done in taste, but my son looked at me and shoke his head, and said mommy, I'm glad you don't wear clothes like that. When I asked him why he said because I would lose respect for you... my wife will never wear those.....
he is 8.... I was floored, but thought to myself he'll be a respectful young man and that made me happy.
Stick to your guns sweeties..... be a leader not a follower and do what you feel is right....
AND ELIPSIS...... THANK YOU.... I have nothing but respect for you. I think it's wonderful that people think of others too..... especially our children!
Elipsis-If all smokers were as thoughtful as you there wouldn't be a problem. I too cringe when I see people smoking in their cars in the presence of their children.
I am going to write a letter to our fairboard. After speaking w/several other mothers in my community and the input from my cake buddies here at CC, I don't think I'm over-reacting or being unreasonable. It may not do any good, but at least I will have voiced my opinion!
flayv- I think that your 8 year old stated that then you have done a good job as a parent to instill some morals into him.
elipsis- I may not agree with your habit either, but thank you for being respectul to others about it.
here here!!!!!!!! 
Then we saw a man w/a t-shirt on that said "Show me your t_ts," and it had a picture of a naked woman's chest w/the nipples only covered by a logo.
Argh! That's just plain disgusting no matter where it is! I took my six year old son to the movies a few months ago and there was a man in the ticket line in front of us with a naked woman tattooed on his arm! I was just hoping my son wouldn't see it and say something. 
I don't want this thread to get locked because of conflicting veiwpoints, but I have to respond to mmdd: I disagree that smokers don't respect non smokers. I am a smoker, and I am very aware of who is around me when I smoke. I tend to move away from a crowd if I want to smoke. The only place I don't really watch myself is in a bar. IMO that is fair game. It is an adult establishment, and smoking is allowed. I am not proud of the fact that I smoke, and if it was that easy to quit, I would have the several times I tried. Point being...not all of us who smoke are ignorant fools who don't care about the well being of other people. Yes, there are some out there, but stereotyping all smokers is unfair.
Well.....I'm glad to hear this! I truly am! I apologize for stereotyping...guess I didn't think about it first before I typed it.
I just wanted to say that...............I never called anyone an ignorant fool (those were your words, not mine). I'm working on my stereotyping..........bad habit, been doing it for years.........but I'm not a name caller.
Yay for mhill, elipsis, and flayvurds 8 yo!!!!
Let us know what the fairboard replies back with, fat-sissy!
No, I didn't mean to say that you said those words, yes, those are mine. I just know there is a definate perception of smokers, and wanted to state my opinion that smokers can not be grouped into one big catagory. I was not trying to be disrespectful or hurtful in any way.
I do agree with smoking areas. And I mean just that...smoking areas. Problem for smokers is that most places just ban smoking, and don't have a place for us to go. Then we end up outside in front of buildings (which I also don't do because I feel bad for people walking in and out). But their should be designated areas.
As a smoker I do try to be repectful of those around me that don't smoke. Everyone in my family smokes so it was not very surprising that at the age of 19 I started to smoke as well. When I have to go outside to smoke I do try to go to the side of the building or stand in an area where there are not a lot of people. If I can't help but be around people I try to move my cigarette so the smoke is not going in their face and I blow my smoke out in the opposite direction. I have to say that not everyone in my family is so considerate. 
My family has decided that we are all going to quit smoking around the first of September. I am getting a little nervous as this draws nearer because I enjoy smoking and I am afraid I won't be able to kick the habit. We picked the first of September for a few reasons. First of all, the price of cigarettes is going up a dollar a pack at that point and the habit is getting to be very expensive. But the most important reason is that my neice's 3rd birthday is September 1st and this is the best birthday present we can give her. Luckily my sister quit smoking the day her daughter was born. We want to make sure we stay healthy for her and continue to be a part of her life (she is the only child in the family so far).
With all of this being said I may have to end up starting a support thread for myself because I know it will be hard to kick the habit (especially at times like now when I am sitting at the computer and desperately want one, lol).
Sorry So Long,
Melissa
i do not smoke but my inlaws smoke and they too are very respectful of others. the town i live in it is against the law to smoke anywhere that is 50ft from a school, church, hospital or front door of a public place. i think these days there are more smokers who are trying to quit and who are more aware of people who are around them.
as far as the shirt, i dont think you are being a prude about it to each his own i probably would not have been offended by it but then there is not a lot that bothers me. i kind of like things like that when they come up in front of my kids because it gives my kids REAL life and we always sit down and talk about things like that and people who are doing things that we feel is wrong or that are doing things that we have questions about. now dont get me wrong my kids dont watch porn or anything and i think society is getting dangerously close to having a type of "public porn" if you know what i mean and because history shows things always continue to progress in the direction they are going i think we should prepare our children because we can only shelter them for so long and then they go to public school or work.
as far as the teen age girls with their butts hanging out, never my daughter. not as long as she lives in my house!!! that is due to bad parenting!!
anyway JMO
Former smoker here! I also live in California with all the smoking laws. It is illegal to light up in bars and restaraunts, more and more costal cities are passing bans on smoking on city beaches, and a lot of public places are asking patrons to use designated smoking areas. I don't care for second hand smoke, but as long as the smokers stay where they are supposed to, I have no problem.
As for offensive clothing, that is another thing! I will and do give dirty looks. But what offends me most are the tatoos! At our local pool we had a lifeguard last year who had a naked lady on the back of his shoulder and he walkeda round without a shirt all of the time. Well, a lot of the pubesent boys were noticing it and my kids were asking what was so special about it and I told them nothing. Anyway, I talked to the pool manager and told her that while I understand his right to his tatoo, it is not in the best interest for him to walk around without a shirt on being that he is a PUBLIC employee and this was a PUBLIC pool with young children! He had to wear a shirt for the rest of the summer and I was told that he was assigned to a beach to lifegard this year.
Thanks Deb for having the courage to say someting to the pool manager!
It seems to me that our society is getting so obsessed with their personal RIGHT to do anything at anytime that they completely forget (or dont understand) 1) These right were purchased at a great price and 2) If you want to keep your rights they must be balanced with RESPONSIBILITY to and a RESPECT for the society that allows you to have these rights in the first place.
I had better stop before I get my soapbox built. . . . 
I am the furthest thing from a prude (anyone that knows me knows this too) and I would have been upset also, so no I don't think you are being a prude. At the country fair there is no place for shirts like that IMO when you will be around a lot of children and others that don't appreciate that sort of thing. And the smoking in there would have bothered me as well.
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