My Aunt called to tell me that my cousin got married this weekend and that they are going to have a reception on the 26th. She wanted to know if i could do the cake and i said of course no problem , however there is one small problem the bride does not want a wedding cake she told her mom in law to jsut have a sheet cake with my apple butter filling and that was all that was needed........ ready for the problem
This girls mother and father died in a tragic car wreck 3 years ago. She has no parents to celebrate her day. My aunt whom does not have the funds to do a big todo for her wants to give this girl the best wedding reception that there ever was due to the fact that she is having a hard time with her family not being here and all. On top of that they already have a child 2years old and now pregnant again and I agree she really does deseve this. All I can get from my cousin is that she likes blush pink carnations...
This event is an out door BBQ in August in NC heat and humidity and the only thing that the bride has said about the whole thing is no red checkered table cloths 
I know this will be a teired cake for me with MMF
I am used to having brides that have to many ideas
any clue what i can do for a bride who does not even want a wedding cake???
That's a tough situation, and so sad to hear about the loss of her parents 
. Is it possible that she really doesn't want a wedding cake, or do you think she only said that so she didn't put any undue pressure on you? I would be worried that if she had a reason she didn't want a traditional tiered or stacked cake and you made her one anyway, it might cause her unnecessary emotional pain. I understand the desire to make her a beautiful stacked cake, but under the circumstances I would do as she requested and make a really nice sheet cake.
Amber
No
i know for a fact she does not want to put anyone out. I guess she feels since she does not have a family on her side that she should not ask. Our family is huge there is 91 of us in a 15 min radius of each other. So just because she does not want t big todo does not mean there will not be one. I seriously beleive that she thinks we do not approve of her, unfortunatlly she could not be further from the truth the family adores her she has been a really good person to my cousin whom has to many problems for even Dr. Phil to fix. I personally love her she is the favorite of all of my cousins wives. I know she is worried about the money so this is going to be a big surprise, heck the money is not a problem i got this one all on my own ... so what to do ?????
I would do a beautiful wedding cake. If she is holding out because she does not want to put anyone out of their way and you have no problem doing it, then I would do it as a surprise for her. I am sure she will love it and love you for it. What bride does not want a pretty cake. I know I did.
Oh good 
. That is a much happier situation! I'm sure you'll make her day very special. I'm sure you'll do a beautiful design, I guess your biggest hurdle will be coming up with a cake that can take the heat...
MMF- does it stand up to the humidity? I don't have hardly any experience with it, but I know a commercially made fondant like satinice would work. You could do any kind of jam filling, or even a pastry cream and fruit if the pastry cream had enough stabilizers in it. do you know what flavors she likes?
Amber
if you are close enought to her to do so, I would ask. frankly...
if money were no object would u want a sheet cake or would you want somethign like yada yada.. Some poeple dopn't even like cake and could care less. Maybe she is one of those people, just b ecause the cake is not tiered fondant, flowers and all that wont't stop there from being a to do.
Brush embroidery would be lovely- all over the cake! Sorry- I forgot you said she wanted apple butter filling.
Amber
if you are close enought to her to do so, I would ask. frankly...
if money were no object would u want a sheet cake or would you want somethign like yada yada.. Some poeple dopn't even like cake and could care less. Maybe she is one of those people, just b ecause the cake is not tiered fondant, flowers and all that wont't stop there from being a to do.
ok the reason we are not envolving her is one her condition at this time and two mom in law wants it to be a suprise. Mom in law has no girls and this one is as close as a daughter is going to get.
if you are close enought to her to do so, I would ask. frankly...
if money were no object would u want a sheet cake or would you want somethign like yada yada.. Some poeple dopn't even like cake and could care less. Maybe she is one of those people, just b ecause the cake is not tiered fondant, flowers and all that wont't stop there from being a to do.
ok the reason we are not envolving her is one her condition at this time and two mom in law wants it to be a suprise. Mom in law has no girls and this one is as close as a daughter is going to get.
If thats the case I would do what she ask for. I know that this is different but my mom "surprised" me on my birthday last year by buying me a cake I wasn't realling baking decorated cakes then but my fav cake is tres leches. She bought me achocolate tres leches cake. i don't like chocolate store bought cake and I i tried a little piece but didn't finish it because it was NASTY. she learned this year to do what I ask.
To me it seems like the nicest thing would be to do what she ask for. maybe
TOMAY:
Tomay wrote:
I know this will be a teired cake for me with MMF I am used to having brides that have to many ideas
any clue what i can do for a bride who does not even want a wedding cake???
i really want to do a formal thing for her she is a formal girl but i have artist block i was thinking of brush embrodery with the carnations but were to put them ???
There you go - it looks like you answered your own question! 
yea my family is way spoiled on the apple butter filling.
so i know exactly the flavor to make: : caramel rum cake with apple wash and apple butter filling with a touch more rum added. all iced with a yummy bc frosting of course with more rum and then MMF i gues i will have to add rum to it to.
the flavor is not the problem its the stupid artist block so i have pink carnations and mayby brush embroidery? still were are we placing those dang carnations?
Tomay:
Check out Godiva's carnation brushed embroidery cake:
http://cakecentral.com/modules.php?name=coppermine&file=displayimage&meta=search&search=brush%20embroidery&cat=0&pos=7&search=brush%20embroidery
It's just lovely!
Sorry- no help yet with the design. But I feel like getting a little tipsy Would you mind posting or PMing me those rum laced recipes you're pushing on your family? Sounds divine... I promise to think of design ideas for you
Amber
Sorry- no help yet with the design. But I feel like getting a little tipsy
Would you mind posting or PMing me those rum laced recipes you're pushing on your family? Sounds divine... I promise to think of design ideas for you Amber
Hey now the great thing of having a family like mine is you do not have to push the rum onto em they ask for it !!!!! 
no really they are all really Southren Christen people they do not know the rum is even in the equation. I figure why tell em !!!!
maybe use fresh carnations as a topper? and then do the brush embroidery on the sides??
That cake sounds delicious!! Where did you get the recipe?
I'm excited for you about this cake, I think it is a wonderful idea. I hope you post a picture when it is finished. It's such a sweet thing to do
Really it sounds like you have an idea in your head already with the carnations. Is there a color theme going on at the reception? Maybe as it gets closer you'll know more about details like that that might help you figure it all out.
I think if you know she said sheet cake because she doesn't want to be a bother, then go ahead with the formal cake in the flavors she requested. This might sound close-minded, but I can't think why anyone would be offended or upset by a beautiful cake at their reception. She has every right to celebrate the occasion of their wedding and it's really great that you want to do something extra special for her/them.
Take the opportunity to try something you've wanted to try, or to perfect a technique that you like, keeping her taste in mind and the decor at the party.
Good luck!
That cake sounds delicious!! Where did you get the recipe?
I'm excited for you about this cake, I think it is a wonderful idea. I hope you post a picture when it is finished. It's such a sweet thing to do
Lets see one night in the kitchen with a bottle of rum ...... That is really how it happened my sister in law was married about two years ago and they went to the floridia keys for the honeymoon and they brought us back a nice bottle of rum. Well we do not drink so what to do with it? being a emeral fan if red wine and white wine can go into food i guessed sweet alcohol could go into cake . wha la instant family success.
I still say respect her wishes. If you go all out and she becomes upset, then you'll take it personal and then bad blood will brew and there goes her relationship with you and several members of your family who feel they will have to chose sides and so on and so forth.
If you bake her a nice sheet cake with carnations as accent or decoration, then that is what she asked for and then it is all on her and no one gets hurt feelers!
[quote="debsuewoo"]I still say respect her wishes. If you go all out and she becomes upset, then you'll take it personal and then bad blood will brew and there goes her relationship with you and several members of your family who feel they will have to chose sides and so on and so forth.
If you bake her a nice sheet cake with carnations as accent or decoration, then that is what she asked for and then it is all on her and no one gets hurt feelers
Can you talk to her husband and see if he can shed some light on this. that way she is happy and it is their day.
Now if she still wants a sheet cake who says you can not shape it. You can do a double heart and out line the top with pink caranations and put their initals in one heart and write in the other "two hearts become one" . She still gets a sheet can but it will be extra special. You can also make a 6" for them to save for their one year anniversary.
Good luck. Look forward to seeing the cake.
Okay tomay, I found this really nice cake at confetticakes.com: now give up those recipes 
Seriously though, this type of thing would look beautiful on a white background. I can almost taste the appley rummy caramelly goodness....
http://www.confetticakes.com/wd3.html
(edited to remove possibly copywrited pictures and instead provide a link- sorry 
)
Amber
I really want to but this may sound silly I have always gone out of my way for all cousins aunts ect ect. i am afraid if I do a simple sheet cake that not only would she be disapointed but she would really think that we do not like her .... like i said there are some issues there , her whole deal is she does not wnat people to go out of their way for her because she does not feel deserving of this. I know this because the mother in law was told she doe s not wnat people to fuss over her just becasue she is married to one of the family members... she kinda was quoted saying just because I am in the family does not mean I need to be treated as a blood family member..... but in big jewish families there is no other way we either love you or hate you. When she was asked about the cake she said what ever is easiest for me to make ........ we a plain old sheet is not going to cut it because to be honest i can't do simple ......... it does not make sense the less the cake has the worse i do at it
I agree, talk to her husband and see if he can't shed some light without ruining the suprize.
My guess is that she might not be used to the big family doings so she might not feel comfortable at them to begin with, let alone one where she is basically traditionally the center of attention. It's tough to go from a small family or not having one around in a while to joining into a large one.
It sounds like you know what you want to do and if you're sure that she said "only a sheetcake" to not be a bother, stick with your gut instinct. If by some chance she gets upset, you could always tell her "I make everyone in the family a big cake for their wedding, it's tradition." and let it be at that. Just be sure to follow through with everyone after her too.
She needs to learn that, yes, she does deserve to be treated like a blood family member, especially since you all love her so much! 
Could you make a sheetcake like she asked, and then do a small wedding cake, maybe 2 tier for her and her husband to cut? You could personalize it for them, and they could save the top tier.
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