We had a wedding at our church this weekend. A very dear friend of mine who has done cakes for many years did the wedding cake and I was asked to do the grooms cake. The wedding cake was to serve 350 and the grooms cake was to serve 75. My friend kept telling me that she thought the grooms cake should be larger because a lot of people like chocolate cake... anyway, I did a 16" round, double layer which according to my charts would serve 80-90. They asked that it have fresh strawberries on top -- plain, not chocolate dipped.

The wedding cake was absolutely beautiful. It was a 4-tiered cake with 5 satellite cakes.

My friend told me that when the bride was ordering the wedding cake she didn't even seem that interested in the cake and told my friend that she "didn't like cake" anyway. Sooooo....

At the reception they had this huge cake, my rather large grooms cake... then they had an ice cream sundae bar... and a TON of other fingerfood desserts.... plus tons of fruit -- all dipped in chocolate -- TONS of sweet stuff... and some other fingerfoods.

Well, guess what.... someone told me that they only served maybe one and a half of the SATELLITE cakes of the wedding cake and only about 1/4 to 1/3 of the grooms cake that I had done. Apparently everyone arrived at the reception and filled up on all the other goodies -- particulary the ice cream sundae bar -- before the bride and groom arrived to cut the cake and not many people ate cake.

I don't know... it just really bothers me that I (and especially my friend) put all that work into making these cakes and then no one much ate them. It's just kind of depressing to me! Just wondering if this bothers anyone else?

hearing his mother's voice: "there are starving children in...."

what a terrible waste!

she obviously saw both cakes as just for show considering all the other desserts.

knowing she didn't like cake and would have all the other desserts, the bride should have at least considered having most of it be made from dummies w/ just a small amount for serving and a much smaller grooms cake.

I'm sure some people packed some cake to go so that it wouldn't all go to waste. Hopefully, they did at least. I know if it's a Southern wedding, people come prepared with Ziplocs and foil paper (smile).

why does it bother you? once you deliver the cake, it is out of your hands. Put it into a different perspective . . do you getbothered if someone doesn't use a present you gave them? or if someone doesn't use a pan you sell them?

I understand and I think it would bother me a little too. It wouldn't make me angry, just kinda sad! I really love to bake and put a lot of myself into everything I do (please don't take that literally!) so it's hard not to let things like that get to me. But whatever- you did your job, your friend did hers, now share a glass of wine (and a whine) and move on...

Amber

I can relate, but not to a wedding cake. I only do cakes for family and friends (all free) for baby showers, birthdays, holidays, etc. I set a nice table, put out the cake, the party starts and NOBODY eats the cake!!! It just makes me soooooo mad. I even had people tell me "OH we can't cut it let alone eat it. It's too pretty." I feel like you, I didn't go through all this work to just look at it - Let's eat!

I'd have to say that as dissappointed as I would be that all of that cake went to waste, you were paid to perform a service, which you had done, and it was all out of your hands. However, you might want to consider this: If you have a soup kitchen or someother kind of homeless shelter in the area that accepts donations of left over restaraunt foods (we have a few here in L.A., perhaps you should consider passing that information along to the person responsable for the reception clean up. Say, along with your business card you give a card that says "Donations of Excessive leftovers gladly accepted by such and such charity" and give their phone number. Those types of charities usually have a driver on call for pick ups like that.

I can relate. I did a wedding cake and a groom's cake last month for a family member. The cakes were my gift. They had so much other food, including desserts that everyone was full by the time the cake was cut. There was a lot of cake left. Everyone raved about how good they were, but no room for them after everything else. I would have made a much smaller wedding cake had I known that.

I was just curious if it "bothered" anyone else to work so hard on a cake and then it not get eaten -- you know... at the place it was made for -- for another example... this past May I made a cake for my son's second grade teacher's birthday for a surprise class party. The "room mother" for the class and I got together and decided I would do a "purse" cake with fondant pearls and chocolate make-up because these are things that are very fitting to the teacher. I was so proud of that cake and my son was so proud of it too... when we got to the class party that afternoon we surprised the teacher with it -- she loved it -- and then the room mother said, "I knew that you wouldn't want to cut it.... so I brought (store-bought) cupcakes for the kids to eat at the party and you can take the cake home with you." Then she sat the cake in the back of the room behind the teacher's desk and passed out the cupcakes to the kids. This was an 11x15 sheet cake with the purse cake on top... I was just disappointed that they didn't eat the cake that I had brought. I mean... I loved the teacher and everything... but the main reason I put all that work into the cake was because of my son...

So, in reality... it doesn't matter... I got the experience of making the cake... got a nice shot for my photo album and website... but still just felt "bummed" about the cake.

I don't know... maybe I'm weird! I was just curious if anyone else every felt the same way.

I wouldn't let it bother you. Did you know there was going to be oodles of goodies? I have done weddings with dessert bars and we just cut the number of cake serving knwing this. You cannot gurantee that there will be the exact amount of people let alone if they will eat or not.

I get my satisfaction from people saying the cake LOOKS fab, it's nice if they eat it - but most of all I want them to be struck with the look of it. I often get people saying they didn't want to cut into it, and sometimes they don't, I don't mind so long as they're pleased with it. Maybe someone at the venue took the cake home with them?

It would definately bother me. I hope they didn't just throw it away. It wouldn't bother me so much if they wanted a big cake for show as long as it didn't go to waste and they told people to take it or they did donate it or whatever.

I would take it as a learning experience and ask in the future if there will be other desserts and offer dummy cakes as an option if they don't really need all that cake.

It reminds me of "Must Love Dogs" where the guy wanted to buy that beautiful hand made wooden boat just to cut it in half and mount it on the wall.

Well, although you got paid for it, in a way it would bother me if it was me.
Because it got wasted.. I hate wasting ! At home or anywhere, if my son cannot finish his food half way, I either eat the rest of it or save it for later. I cannot stand wastefulness, esp. food. Why did they order that much cake if they knew they had a lot of other sweet food being served ? I don't understand that. I hope they gave it away to those who want them.. As my grandmother said, "food is grace from God, so don't waste it".

But you did what you were asked to do and you did a great job.
It's no reflection on you, but on the wasteful people.

wow! In the time it took me to type that last reply there were a bunch more posts!

Thanks for the advice about having them donate leftovers someplace. I will definitely look into that.

Thanks for all your posts! I'm a long-time lurker here but haven't posted much. I appreciate y'all letting me jump in and be a part of CC.

Yes, it would definately dishearten me to know that I spent a lot of time and put a lot of creativity into designing a beautiful cake. The fun part in making cakes is knowing how good it will taste when you serve it and looking forward to seeing people eat it and enjoying themselves!!!!

Personally, I can't imagine going to a wedding reception and NOT eating a piece of the cake. It doesn't matter to me how much food is there. I'm usually hoping people won't notice I've eating like...2-3 pieces!

Cake should be in it's own food group. It's sooooo fabulous!!!!

Someone somewhere is probably enjoying the cake. It's not necessarily wasted.

My sis's wedding had a ton of cake left over and both families enjoyed it for quite awhile after the wedding. My sis says her MIL won't stop talking about how great the cake was.

At the wedding they brought around a slice of cheesecake to each person at all the tables, then later they cut the cake and took it in the back to slice it. By the time they had brought out the slices, a lot of people had left, and they didn't bring the cake around, just left it at a buffet table in the corner of the room. Annoying, but oh well.

My husband and I ate our anniversary cake when we returned from our honeymoon. It was great and we enjoyed it a lot more than on the wedding day. Wish we would have had more leftovers than we did!

I was hired by a bride who brought a picture of her dream cake. I suggested use cake dummies as the cake she wanted would serve 400 (she invited 175 guests). She insisted on THAT cake...she wanted no part of styrofoam! I did the cake as she wanted. I figured most if it would end up in someone's freezer.
I later heard that her husband who raced in the stock cars' took some to the race track. The remainder was driven 45 miles to the nearest shelter where it was happily accepted.

Just remember for every time a cake isn't all eaten at a wedding, there are many more times that it is enjoyed. At my wedding, coming up on 2 years ago, they served the cake and just about everyone ate it their piece and raved about it. My Mom took home the leftovers and when she had our relatives over later that day and the next day, they devoured it! They all thought it was wonderful! And my DH and I took our top tier on our honeymoon with us, we put in the the fridge in our cabin of the cruise ship. Even with all the goodies on the cruise ship, we still finished the 6" layer off by Wednesday!
Some people are just ignorant and don't understand good cake when it comes to them, but there are many more of us out there that really appreciate a good baker and decorator!

I do understand how you feel. I did a wedding cake for 400 people a few months ago. I also had to serve the cake at the reception. The cake was a similar set-up with 6 8 inch cakes going around the bottom. They also had a chocolate fountain. Not even all the 8 inch cakes were gone and NONE of the main cake was even cut. I only hoped that many family members got to take some home.

After that experience...I will NEVER serve another wedding cake. And I suppose once I drop it off and get my photo...I do not want to think about it anymore!

mycakesandmore ... I understand how you feel. When you spend sooooo much time, effort, and creativity on a wedding cake (or any other cake, for that matter), you like to think that every crumb will be eaten (I always like to think that maybe someone even takes a knife or fork and scrapes all of the extra cake bits and icing off the cake boards just because it was THAT good ... ). I do get sad (too much so, I'm sure), when I hear that there was a lot of my cake leftover at a party or wedding. So, as silly or crazy as it may be, I completely understand how you feel!!!!

BTW, welcome to CC ... keep on posting!!!

Since I do catering also, I'm usually pretty aware of what foods are also being served at the reception and I actually tells my brides that the more food they are having, the less cake they need to order. Appetizers followed by buffet and the guests are getting full. Plus if they are serving alcohol people will eat less cake. For that type of reception, I suggest if they are ordering food for 150, then they should plan cake for 125. It's a win-win for both of us ... the bride saves money and tells everyone how great her caterer was for saving her money, so I get lots of referrals from her! I feel bad when there's lots of cake leftover but because it represents money that didn't have to be spent, and represents poor planning by the bride. My wedding last weekend, the bride waited so long to cut the cake that I actually went up to her on the dance floor and said, "You're going to have to cut your cake soon....half your guests are gone." I ended up cutting the cake the size of bricks.

I have never been to a wedding where people served themselves the dessert! Nor were there so many desserts! I would like people to try my cake, but I would also be glad that the cake was on display unscaved for so long for people to admire. I'm not sure how I'd feel on this one.

TheVienneaus: You should have seen this wedding video I saw. My husband's co-worker gave it to him to show me. It was her daughter's wedding. Oh. My. God. They wheeled out 3 or 4 eight foot banquet tables of desserts! Sunday Bar, about eight 10" cakes, cookies, pies, cherries jubilee .... I can't even name everything! Oh yeah.....and in the back corner was a pretty wedding cake that I'm sure no one saw or ate. These people had more money than sense, I guess! I hate to think what they spent on the dessert tables alone.....not including everything else at this reception. I watched the whole thing with my chin scraping the floor. Unbelieveable.

I was once at a mercy gathering (gathering after a funeral) at a hotel's banquet room. They had all kinds of desserts. At the end of it all, some full pies and cheesecakes were not eaten and the father of the deceased (who paid for all this stuff) wanted people to take them home. The hotel staff flat out refused to let anybody leave the building with the uneaten desserts. They said it was a liability! In case somebody left it in their car too long then ate it and got sick, the hotel would be blamed! People were angry at this attitude. I understand it; but still, what kind of people would blame a hotel if they ate a dessert that went bad in their car? Such a waste of money and food!

TheVienneaus: That's probably not a hotel rule, but the health dept's. I also cater (hot buffets) and I have to dispose of all leftover foods. I am not permitted to send the food home with anyone. That's why I work so diligently with my brides to make sure they have good control on their headcount. I hate to throw food away and I hate for them to spend the money on food that gets thrown away. What we DO do is find a food kitchen or shelter who will take the food ... we try not to waste it. And some of my brides have liked that idea, when I explain the legalities to them. On some stuff, it's kind of silly, but I can see the logic behind the law.

Unbelievable!! Did they at least refund the man's money for the un-eaten, un-sliced desserts? What kind of a place is this that won't let you take pies and cakes home? Do they allow doggy bags from their restaurant? Ridiculous

Amber

Indydebi, thanks for explaining that, I sort of understand....but why is the stuff good enough for a shelter or soup kitchen, but not good enough for a guest to take home? Stuff like that just irritates me.

Amber

I made a great looking star shaped cake for a neighborhood gathering on the 4th of July. There were some store bought cookies and cupcakes that other people brought. NO one would cut my cake. I finally cut a small piece thinking that would get it started. I was the only one to have a piece. EVeryone said it was "too beautiful" to eat. It was very disappointing, especially since everyone said the store bought cupcakes were dry and tasteless (and they weren't pretty at all!)

dara

I so agree. When my daughter graduated high school, she joined the army so we had a going away party. We ordered 100 cans of coke. The hotel wouldn't let us take them home for this reason! ("Purchased foodstuffs are not permitted to leave the premises"). But I paid for them! Cans of coke will not spoil! Fortunately, I had a lot of nephews who took cans of coke to my car 2 at a time under their shirts! hahahaha!

On some of my buffets I serve cottage cheese or cole slaw. If I have full unopened containers left, the same rule applies (what if they leave it in their car for 4 hours?). *IF* my bride of next weekend has cottage cheese on her menu, I can't really serve her cottage cheese that's been in my 'frig for a week, either. So off to the food kitchens/shelters its goes. I can't really refund the money to the bride because I'm going to throw it out. Just like none of us would refund wedding cake money if they didn't use all the tiers. You can't resell it. Once food "crosses the counter", it cannot be resold. (What if a guest spits on it?). The rules can be frustrating in their logic, I guess!