o.k, its about a guy.... that i like.....
he goes to different school than me and he is extrmely shy. like i've never seen him talk to a girl. he goes to my church and is going to my church camp too, so the ? is :
How do i talk to him without it being awakward?
if u can help PLZ help me!!
thanks guys,
<3 nats <3
You walk up beside him while going from one function to the next and you make a comment about how (hot, cold, rainy) it is. Then you make sure that you're walking beside him again at one of the evening functions and simply ask him how his day has been. The first one is the ice breaker, the second one leads you into conversation. He will probably feel more confident in the evening because he won't feel like everyone is watching. Casual contact in a group environment will help bring him out a bit. You'll be fine, but you will have to be the one to make the first move and be the conversationalist. Just find a topic that interests him and start chatting.
Good luck.
I say make a cake too.
Also I would like to add, just be yourself & the words will come naturally 
Good luck 
yes, take cake.
Also, from a formerly very very shy person ... he will probably be relieved and happy to talk to you .. about anything, or nothing in particular ... if you're good at conversation, use it to your advantage, though if he's really shy, conversation may not totally flow .. don't worry, go back later and try again. And try to include him in group activities, it would be a natural way to get to know him .
Good luck! Have fun!
Thanks guys for the help! i dont know if cake would work on a 16 hr ride, but you never know! i might go with the cookies. hopefully, this stuff can work! lol.
Thanks again!
Nats
ok so i tried to talk to him and when i walking towards him he walked AWAY!! like he just kindof looked embaressed.. my friends say that he "to the extreme shy" and like he would talk to other girls, but not me? have any advice for that?
dont try so hard, or you'll scare him off. Position yourself so that you are invovled in some of the same events. Sign up for some of the same activities at camp and through the church, so this will give you a reason to talk to the guy, in a sitution that he'll be comfortable in. Become his friend don't worry so much about the boy/girl thing yet.
in my experience taking cake usually is a good idea period. People like cake, you bring cake, ergo people like you.
I agree with the above, make light conversation but dont pry, position yourself in areas he will be but dont stalk (this comes later) and be yourself! If things dont work out its ok and you will not, years later look back and say "Gosh if only I would have said hello..what could have been?" Good luck!
~Alicia
a guy's viewpoint:
let me guess --
you're an extrovert -- "aggressively friendly" as the folks at Disney call it (and look for in their "cast members")
and I bet you're a social center -- the one who's always at the center of an activity, has others circling around her -- seems to be friends w/ everyone.
and I bet you're considered by most to be good looking as well.
----
ok -- so, speaking as one who had to learn to be aggressively friendly -- who once called "the most painfully shy students I've ever taught" by one of his teachers ---
oh, lordy! back then (and even now to a degree) you'd scare the living daylights out of me and other shy men. --
you are the "unattainable ideal" -- the one we have convinced ourselves would never have any interest in us.
and who, if they did -- we'd be MIGHTY suspicious -- after all -- what would someone like YOU want w/ poor little ol' me?? Might I just be the girl's equivalent of the concept of how guy's add another notch to the handle through multiple conquests? (sad thought, but true thought) and don't trust the grapevine to help (you know, tell a friend of interest, she relays it on) as when this shy even that will be distrusted.
painfully shy often equates to very fearful of:
rejection
being made fun of
-----
how to break through?
non-threateningly
yep, still think cake taste test is an idea.
team games -- where you pick your team -- and pick him in the middle -- neither first (too obvious, too threatening) nor last (only plays into issues of rejection -- they didn't pick me, they got stuck with me)
ditto for committees to get stuff done at church and school -- make obvious picking for his special talent or viewpoint he can bring to the task. -- then in course of task can get to know better.
avoid large group scenes in early stages -- too threatening, too public, too "everyone is watching!!!!!!!!!!!" working together in the church office on the youth newsletter, or him holding ladder while you hang decorations (or vice versa) -- little moments like that will be safer and easier for him.
lots of mom's and dad's have learned that to get a teen boy to talk is easier if you don't try to get them to talk directly (let's talk about ....) but instead engage in a joint activity (rake lawn, paint house, plant garden, etc.) where the conversation is the second priority and can come more freely and easily.
see him first as a person of value for what he is as is -- not what you want him to be or could try to make him over to be. (and that is the source of SO much conflict in relationships)
it will take time -- lots of time -- to break down the self-erected barriers of protection the shy build around them.
wow doug u wrote a LOT! but actually im not that outgoing, at least not w/strangers. but yea, my friends are always around me and all of his friends are around him. ok at camp. i tried to play killball and when i joined. you guessed it, he lefted and went to play soccor! but our church has activities on weds, so if i see him there. or if theyre playing something, i wont make it obvious, usually my friends make it obvious..lol.but i will gradually engage in conversation. or!!!!! i could bring a cake on the last day we have those activities!!! i'll do that, a back to school cake! thanks guys!
Nat
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