I Am So Upset With Myself. I Had To Vent.
Decorating By twindees Updated 31 Jul 2006 , 6:27pm by m0use
Okay twindees here is the thing IMveryHO. If you are having a shower because you are having a baby, you should never be the hostess nor should your mother be the hostess! And it is the hostess that gets the cake. This situation is so very tacky and lacks class of any sort! Definitely on the other side of the railroad tracks here! (Probably could not find a friend that would throw her the shower 
)
Next thing I'd like to comment on - telling someone what gift to bring is extremely, extremely tacky and beyond trashy!!!!!
I truly understand the honor of being asked to make a cake, it is just that this was done in such a way as to lack good breeding! "No excuse for bad manners! - None!"
All I see is a platinum blonde, in a tacky strapless gown, smoking a cig, picking the tobacco off her tongue and drinking a foo foo drink, smacking her gum, getting ready to sing at a dingy dive, seven months pregnant, waiting for the thug boyfriend who is not the dad, in a bad 1930's B Movie!
Coworker/friend or not I would be screaming "Be Gone you Tacky Person! And I'm with Doug, drop the cake off and go to IKEA!
I agree with Doug on not staying. If you don't want any business out of this cake, then drop it off and explain that staying puts a burden on your husband and children. Then go and enjoy the rest of your day!!! 
If you stay you may just end up getting madder and madder and not enjoying the celebration anyways. But also keep in mind the way you started this thread - "I am so mad at myself" - so your the one who needs to forgive you. So spoil yourself a little and have fun!!! 
Yes I think that's what I am going to do Doug. After all I do have a cake to do for Sunday and this person is PAYING.
YEAH...sounds like a plan
just remember, especially at IKEA...hubby's wallet in pocket book, pocket book stapled shut!!!
Were you invited to the shower as a guest to begin with?
Were you going to go?
Because if the answer is yes, then the whole situation with your kids and husband would still be the same.
Just wondering.
In hindsight, it's always easier to get mad. But, really, we put ourselves in the situations that we hate and then blame the instigator because we are "too nice to say no"
In reality, we aren't nice. We got caught off guard. We weren't thinking right. We were shocked by the presumptuous person's request. Because we then will spend countless hours complaining about what we now have to do and how annoying the person was that asked us to do it.
To me, yes, I would love to do a cake for a good friend for her baby shower. It may be bad etiquette for her to ask you, but you always have the choice of saying, "I'm sorry that I just don't have any time to do that for you."
I like the idea of saying that you'll have to check your calender. Good idea for the next tactless friend that asks you for cake gifts. Or, to just buy you time to decide if you want to do it or not.
Well, you're not alone. We all agree to do things we sorely wished we didn't agree to. Good idea to not back out and be petty about it now, though.
Good luck with the cake, and maybe stay and enjoy your friend's party and a piece of your hard work. 
Angie
Edited for my bad spelling...and I'm sure that I missed a few.
...After all I do have a cake to do for Sunday and this person is PAYING.
and one more thought:
RIGHT THERE...the perfect excuse for why you just CAN'T stay...you have to go right back home and bake!
just be sure to show up NY fashionably late and then:
YOU: ding-dong
her: oh, hi!
both of you: air kiss-kiss (OOOOO i hated doing that!!!!)
YOU: (in nice tone but LOUD enough so all assembled guest can hear) SOOOOO sorry I can't stay, here's the cake...but I simply MUST get back home right away as I have a cake to do for Sunday and this person is PAYING. (extra emphasis on paying) ENJOY! Bye now!
then turn, walk back to car
eveybody be nice and wave from car
and off you go!
I think the problem here is her lack of manners. People have become so bold over the last few years, and not in a good way. The fact that people have the audacity to tell you what you can GIVE them? What? Who does this? Obviously her Mama didn't bring her up right! I think it's tacky, tacky, and more tacky to call someone and basically tell them what they can get you. Hey, I'm all about giving gifts, BUT, what if I couldn't afford what they were asking for, then do I feel like a big schmug because of it?
The fact that you are doing the cake, good for you, that's nice. HOWEVER - if she's not paying for it, she shouldn't be demanding it be a certain way, etc. If you had offered, that's one thing, but not her telling you it can be the gift. I offered to make a cake for a friend's Bridal shower, and the MOH said she'd hire me out. It's something I want to do, so I said no payment necessary (I'm still learning, and have a hard time charging people right now). But, the difference here is that I OFFERED.
People lack tact, and it's sad to see! I guess it's a lesson learned, and you'll just learn to say no more often. As far as her coming to your wedding - hey, you don't OWE her ANYTHING! Regardless of the distance that she traveled to attend, she made the choice to attend, knowing where it was the entire time. I had people come from out of state for my wedding, they gave a nice gift, and I sent a nice thank you card in return. They don't think I owe them for showing - that's ridiculous!
Cheer up little camper - put the biggest smile on that you can muster and just know that you are a bigger person than she is.
Most of all I am upset with MYSELF. I should have just said NO. O.k. it's all my fault.
Thank you angelas2babies.
And yes I was invited to the shower which I probably would have attended but I would have gotten there at whatever time I wanted to get there. Knowing that the hubby and kids had to come I would not have stayed just show my face stay foe an 1/2 an hour and leave to do something with the family since we are already out of the house.
Most places I go if it's to far and the hubby has to drive I don't go if we all can't go. I can respect ones wishes of no children.
Oh Twindees, here is a cake beachcake made when she vented.....
http://cakecentral.com/modules.php?name=coppermine&file=displayimage&meta=favpics&cat=0&pos=-29454
It was created because of a contractor expected to get a cake just like the other "real" employees she worked with I laughed so hard I spit my coffee out when I saw it!
Lighten up on yourself, rude people back us into corners and then we beat ourselves up. She is not worth it! Make her a dam cake 
If it were me, and I wasn't trying to get any further business from this, then I'd go pick up a cake from Sam's or someplace, drop it off, explain that I can't stay, and write her off as a friend...because she's not much of a friend. Baking and decorating is a labor of love, and I wouldn't give that much effort to such an inconsiderate person.
Mickig
I couldn't read all of these, but agree with mary-ann for the future... I say yes too early still a lot of times, and REGRET it! My family pretty much knows now, that I will give them 50% off, and my friends like to pay, so I like to give them a discount - but a discount is wonderful, it's always being asked to do it for FREE that can really rub us Cakers the wrong way! People are just taking advantage of us! I just had a cousin who hasn't talked to me in a year, call me up "hey, my birthday is coming, you can make my cake!", I just ignored that voice mail like I never heard it, and she didn't invite me to any party! So I'm really glad I never offered to do the cake! When you DON'T want to do something in the future, let them know that your schedule is completely booked.
For THIS cake, I have a suggestion: Get there nice & early with the cake, with the lovely fruit-filled or red velvet - or whatever yummy flavor you choose. Then apologize that you can't actually stay for the shower, because your baby-sitter just called in sick or something (or better yet, that you just have so many cake orders, you must go finish them)... and leave a few business cards for their convenience incase anyone asks where they got the cake. Why sit through an entire shower when you've been treated that way? You're not going to have any fun... then, go have fun with your family & be glad it's OVER with!
That's what I would do anyway! Good luck making your decisions!
as what they say: "Besides an AH (A@&h%le), a sucker is born every minute" and I think this is one very good example..
You poor woman, you are surrounded by opportunists..
Take care of yourself .. you can always say no, you know? 
Tweendies,
I am on your side.. Believe I woulld not make you more upset than you already are.. I'm always on my co-members side no matter what.
The name calling was aimed at those people who are making you upset not you.. 
sorry if you took that the wrong way..I apologize..But i'm on your side though. Like I should.
My grandma did something similar about asking for a cake.
If her husband doesn't like it, all of a sudden, she hates it too.
She calls up and says, "Am I getting a cake for my birthday?"
And I told her, maybe, and that I didn't know. Anyone who knows me knows if you tell or ask me to do something, I usually will purposely NOT do it...heh.
She goes, "ONLY chocolate or vanilla! Howard hates lemon! And NO FONDANT! ITS LIKE HAVING LEATHER ON YOUR CAKE!"
This is coming from my very rude grandmother. I was purposely going to make a lemon cake with chocolate icing, and Wilton fondant, just to be a jerk back...haha.
My mom ended up making a choc. cake with buttercream, and I helped decorate some of it.
But dammmmn...people need to quit asking for cakes as gifts. What's the fun in that if they ASK? And also, if they knock down your ideas or put down the taste of it. What the heck is wrong with people? They think baking is sooo not time consuming. Argh!
I agree with the whole investing in relationships that mean something, and baking a cake being a labour of love. And I don't believe in tit for tat, I think that's schoolyardish, but I also think respect is earned- and if someone treats you like shit, you owe them no 20 hour up-all-night WOW over the top ignore-the-fact- that-you-are-tacky creation.
While you have your lesson learned here, where's her lesson? You know what I mean? I mean it's late friday night now, and the shower is tomorrow- so you obviously have figured out your lesson in all this. Take the suggestions seriously about throwing something quick together and showing up (fashionably late even) and saying what was suggested- because people like this need a figurative slap in the face wakeup call /reality check.
Teachers learn stuff too, not just students (sort of an analogy lol) - I mean lessons go both ways, so speak up! If she never talks to you again, that's not your loss, but you owe it to you AND her to say something - whether people do thoughtless things on purpose or without knowing/thinking, they still should be made aware or they lose the opportunity to be better people
CAn you say box mix w/ canned icing? hehehe
oh, and forget the business card thingy......LOL
Ew...canned icing is punishment enough for someone...haha.
Well as I said before my paddle attachment somehow disappeared (And I still can't find it 
) I don't understand how it just disappeared. My husband and children know that they NEVER touch the kitchen Aid. Someone is really playinf a sick joke on me.
I went to BJ's and brought a $15 sheet cake and delivered it to the community center 2 hours late. I was not late because I wanted to be late but the turnpike was back-up. There was only one lane open. Now I arrived 2 hours late by driving on the sholder so imagine if I had followed the rules of the road.
They kept calling but I did not tell them about the cake I just told them I was stuck in traffic, so you should have seen her Mom's face (she was waiting outside for me) She had this look like What's this. I handed her the cake and MY gift that I brought 2 months ago and left.
She called me at 10 p.m. but I did not pick up the phone or listen to the message.
How nice that the traffic helped you.
I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't find my paddle when I needed it, probably cry. 
I hope you find it to make the paying cake.
If you do talk to them point out that the gift is determined by the giver, she wanted a cake and got one.
The only thing that would've made the outcome sadder would be if you were soakin wet from a freak downpour and missing a heel from one of your pumps.
Sometimes, we just can't say no...and we wind up feeling like kaka the whole time. It can be draining. I hope it didn't take too much outta you.
Jeanne
I have looked everywhere and i still can't find my paddle.
I can't even make the paying cake. It's already 11 and that cake is needed by 6. There is no way.
I have been having some issues with my brother-in -law and I think he took it to be mean to me.
Everytime I use my mixer I wash the bowl and paddle and put it away. Everything is there but the paddle. It's not like it's a small thing. If he did not take it then the only other person is my son but I know if my daugthers saw him playing with the paddle they would have taken it away from him. He has never touched it before I DON"T KNOW. My son's 2nd birthday is Thursday I need to make a cake for the daycare and for home. I will just have to buy a new one, but everythime I go into Bed bath and beyond they never have the paddle.
I am going to cry. 
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