My MIL was okay when I first met her and we got along for several years. About 3 years ago she quit work when my FIL retired and that's when she started getting bad.
She likes to tell me what I should be doing, what days I should hang wash, that I shouldn't put my cake stuff certain places, that I should decorate a cake a certain way (the woman has never done a cake) and other stuff that I can decide on my own.
I'm supposed to know what exactly all my siblings (there are 7 of us) are doing down to where my sister is getting the food for her wedding and what one of my brothers is thinking about going back to school. She asks this stuff I think so she can show how much she knows by telling me how they can do it better.
A couple weeks ago she said something about my dishwasher that doesn't work to me and I told her I don't use it because the dishes have to be clean when they go in the dishwasher for them to come out clean. She told me "well you have to rinse them you know" like I'm an idiot that doesn't know that . I told her that you shouldn't have to wash them first, a couple days later she told her son the same thing in front of me like maybe he should talk to be about it so I would rinse them first.
What has me going now is the dog that showed up in the yard and my boys adopted it. The other day she told me "you know the dog needs water because it's hot" and I'm thinking well gee thanks for telling my stupid butt that. Then I was talking about the dog refering to him as it and she went on about that for a few minutes and I just ignored her. The next day I was talking about the dog following the cat around the yard and I was saying that every time the cat got up it would follow and she repeated every phrase I said but used "HE" every time. So now I'm thinking that I'm going to call the dog "it" to her just to bother her.

Ahhhhh!!! Sounds like MIL from HE-double hockey sticks!!!! Will ignoring her work? Maybe try moving without a forwarding address???????? Start calling her son "it"? then she might not mind you calling the dog "it" so much. I don't know, but you have my deapest sympathies.

Sounds like a certain MIL I know.

The solution: Move 2000 miles away. Works for me

Another thing I have done is walk out of the room everytime the conversation goes south. Sounds like she is giving her unwanted advice in your house. You have no obligation to sit in the parlour and nod to everything she says. You are a busy person. Don't let her absorb your precious time with her less than uplifting conversation.

It sounds like your MIL is bored....she isn't working and she has noting better to do with her time. I have a similar problem with my SIL. At this point I don't even hear her talk anymore. I just tune her out...it's like the adults in Charlie Brown.....whaaaa-whaaa-whaaa-whooon.

Maybe you can suddenly not speak English anymore. When she starts in on you, simply say "No hablo Engles (sp)". It might shut her up for at least a minute.

The problem with the next move my husband wants to make is that it he wants to build on their land.
It's hard to avoid her because we live less than 2 miles away and my kids are the only grandkids she will ever have.
I like the idea about calling her son an it, there are days it would apply.
My mom says she needs to get a job again.

I absolutely would not build on their land. I would divorce my DH before I would build a house on his mother's land if she had any. We do live on 2 acres of my DH's papaw's farm but it is our land. We have a deed in our name. I live far enough from his papaw so that I don't even see his house except when I go out of my driveway and that's at the very end of the driveway. But then again this papaw is a sweetheart and dosen't give us any problems. If your MIL is a problem already I don't see how moving on her land would help the situation any farther. My sister got into that situation with her DH's family and they have almost divorced so many time that I can't count any more.

I'm sooooo sorry I can't help, but I do sympathize.

I lost my mil 4 years ago and I vaguely remember the "pesky" things about her.

I would NOT build on their land, but I don't know what I'd do to stop dh from doing it.

I think she definitely needs something to occupy her time. She probably thinks she's being helpful.

I know, why don't you get her to run errands or something for you. Pay her gas money if you have to....just run her all over town, lol!

Good Luck and I hope your dh can understand & respect you and your feelings. Have you talked any of this over with him?

I like the running errands, thing, might just give her something to do.

Maybe get her to watch the kids for you, while you decorate.

But what i really think she needs is a hobby!!! Or a job. Are you close enough to her to ask her flat out if shes bored

My husband doesn't like to hear me complain about his mother but at the same time he ignores most of what she tells him too. He will stick up when she won't quit about something, when she was going on about the dishwasher to him he told her that it might take dust off.
We will have to get a chunk of the land to get a loan so that's not a big issue, the land is over 100 acres so I won't have to look at her. She tells me what I should do with my house and yard all the time anyway.
I agree that she needs a hobby or something, a close friend would be nice too so she didn't bother me.
Dropping the kids off while I decorate would make them sad, they like to have the beaters and stuff, if they were in the way it would be a good idea though.
She's not a nasty person so much as just wanting to show everyone how much she knows but she really doesn't so it's irritating.
Thanks everyone for making me feel better.

not to make my MIL sound worse than anyone elses BUT

Does yours invite one child & not the other (in front of the other)...

Does yours think that you treat 'said child' better that the other...

Has yours every told you (after about 5 yrs of marriage) that she didn't think you'd make it a year...

&&&&& Here's the topper...DO YOU have to spend 10 days on vacation with her & SIL's family in the middle of freaking no-where so DH can hunt.....


I love my MIL but yesterday just pissed me OFF--she is always inviting my ds to stay or spend the night--never dd, so yesterday she said he could go w/them after church to eat (i had to go home DH sick) & i told her no b/c dd would be upset (both kids had already said to me that they wanted to go)--do you know that she just LOOKED AT ME & never invited my little girl --bitty

oh i'm so sorry that your MIL tells you how to do everything, i would not be able to survive that---

guys -- i don't think i'm in a very nice mood tonight--i'm sorry

Mbelgard, she does need something to do. I don't get how people can be so rude and arrogant. Tell your hubby in a calm way that he has to help you out even a little bit. See if the errand running will work. Good luck!

Tara, I feel for you! That is just wrong to do that to your children!!

What is it with this breed we call MIL's?? I recently got annoyed with mine, she was referring to me as "the mother" in front of my family and more than once. The topic was who does my daughter look like. I thought, what the heck, did you forget my name after 19 years?! Not "her mother" but "the mother". I felt like starting to refer to her as my husband's birthing unit and not his mother!

It's okay Tara! I'm already annoyed because I am wanting to diet but wanted a last hurrah and bought Haagen Daaz because it was on sale and instead of chocolate got somethng called Mayan chocolate. Well, I didn't read the label and it has cinnamon in it. That's fine and dandy for coffee or tea but I don't want it in my ice cream! I can't drown out the taste, either! Same as raisins--I like them plain but I don't want them in my bread or toast, especially when they get toasted and warm. That's disgusting, it's like chompin on a smushy bug!


Sorry.....OT in OT