I just have to vent a little. I am in the middle of cake season, and found myself 10 weeks pregnant. I'm thrilled, but having a hard time dealing with all of the fatigue/nausea, etc that goes along with the first tri-mester.
Yesterday, I had scheduled a free sample tasting for my clients. I normally do 5 or 6 samples, but I could not muster up enough strength to make all of those cakes. I ended up doing 3 basic cakes: Brides butter with french bc, choc with choc mousse, and lemon with homemade blueberrry filling. I figured that they were free to the clients, and at least could demonstrate the quality of my baking.
Well, I got a phone call today from one of the clients, and she told me she was going to go with another company. She just did not like the cakes. She said the lemon cake was too much like "sponge" cake, and the white butter cake did not wow her. (although she liked the chocolate). I've never had anyone tell me directly they did not like the cakes. I did not do anything differently, other than not including the usual number of flavors into the sample bag. I purposely made the butter cake plain because most people request a simple cake for their wedding and don't want to go too fancy. Lemon cake is usually a sponge cake or a pound cake, so I did not get that. She said she was going with a fancy Italian cake.
I am annoyed because she asked me to hold that date open for her, which I have. She took up two appointment times, where she was totally indecisive as to what kind of cake style she wanted, but she previously told me she was definitely going to go with us. I think what bugs me the most is that after all of that (especially when I know my cakes are quality), she calls to personally criticize the cakes. Why not just say: "We are going down a different path with the cakes, but thank-you." Why go on about it? Am I not a human??
Is this just part of the business, or am I being an overly sensitive pregnant woman? UGH!!! Help!
THanks for letting me vent,
Ellen
I am not in business, so I have no clue how cake tasting goes.. but did she at least pay you for all these ? if she did, then pretend she does not exist. It's not the end of the world for you, and part of it is that you are pregnant. Take care of yourself more than your cakes ! 
Oh dear--I'm sorry!
No matter how good your cakes are (and they sound delicious), there's no way to please every palate.
Maybe just be grateful that you don't have to deal with her anymore! It sounds like she would have been super fussy as a client.
I don't blame you for feeling blue, though. It's always hard to hear criticism, but especially so when you're pregnant!
Congratulations, by the way!
First things first...congratulations!
I wouldn't worry about that one client...some people are just like that, and you should just shrug it off, and think that if you did have her as a client she probably would have caused more problems then you needed. Sometimes people put other's down in an attempt to gain something out of it...she may have wanted another tasting, or for you to go down on price...either way, I say it's better off for you.
Don't doubt yourself because of someone else's insensitivity. You aren't going to always be able to please everyone, so just let it go. Now you have an empty date, which I'm sure someone will snag up quickly!
Congrats again!
Ellen - first off, your cakes are amazing!! I would say it is definately that brides loss that she is not going to have one of your cakes at her reception. 2nd - congratulations on the baby coming!! And 3rd - yes, you do get very emotional when you are pregnant - it is part of the wonderful process of making a brand new baby. 
The tiredness and fatigue will let up some after you are past the first trimester.
I would not fret about it - even though it is hard not to when someone is just a pain as this one was. You know you are talented, and anyone who sees your work knows it too. I would be really busy if she ever called again though.
Congratulations on the little one! And I agree that you are probably better off letting that one go. I don't think she could be pleased with anything and this way you may be saving yourself a lot of grief down the road!
First of all...CONGRATULATIONS! That is very exciting. It can be difficult to deal with normal stresses while pregnant...you don't control your hormones anymore!! 
Secondly, I agree that she didn't have to put down your cakes, she could've just said she decided on something else. some people just don't have a clue about what they say and how it affects people. I would say just keep doing as much as you can do, and don't let this one person get you down.
I just looked at all of your cakes posted and they are absolutely beautiful. Do not let this woman get the best of you. (I know it is easier said then done.) However, remember as stated earlier you cannot please everyone even if you tried. DO NOT let this woman stress you out more then you are already.
Congrats on the baby...best wishes.
Thanks for the congrats! I appreciate the empathy....it's just one of those things. Now I am wondering if the other people who tasted the cakes felt the same way.
She's been the only one I've heard from so far. I think one favor this client has done for me is redefine whether or not I hold a date for someone. I will not tell someone I'll pencil them in unless I get a deposit. In a way, I'm relieved, because I am so tired lately that I need a break anyway.
Thanks for letting me go on!
Ellen
CONGRATULATIONS on your little blessing. My hubby and I have just decided to start trying for #2, so I hope to join you very soon. 
And yes, pregnancy hormones are insane. I was up and down, completely exhuasted, and an emotional wreck. Not to mention the horrible morning sickness I endured (though it was all worth it). I think the fact that this lady is not going with you could be a huge blessing in disguise. She sounds like she'd be a pain to deal with, and...as it's been said before...you're never going to be able to please everyone. I'm like you, I try to please them all, but it's just not possible. You'll have enough on your plate with pregnancy and all of your other cakes, so I'd let this one go. There is no way that she found anyone better than you, so don't let yourself think that. You do INCREDIBLE work!!! 
Ellen, I'm sorry that happened. At least she didn't complain about the cakes in front of your other clients. Sometimes when people are embarassed about making a bad decision or being wishy-washy, they feel the need to justify themselves by putting you in the wrong in their mind. You will never be able to please everyone, even with super yummy cake (which I know yours has to be!!)
Also, CONGRATULATIONS on your pregnancy! I know that the nausea and fatigue is the pits, but take heart that it won't last much longer. Most women, myself included, get past that after the first trimester. If you get a chance, read the 'Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy'. It's so funny, I remember laughing out loud with every page. (It has some good info too, but mostly I read it because I needed some humor.)
Phooey on her. She's obviously high maintenance and you don't need that. Some people just go through life oblivious to other people's feelings. She probably even felt that by being brutally honest she was "helping" you. She needs a course on manners.
Congratulations to you on your little one!
Let me just second momsandraven's suggestion to read "The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy." It was WONDERFUL!! I've saved it and will read it again with our 2nd baby. It gives you the REAL deal on pregnancy, and things that only a girlfriend would tell you. 
I wouldn't chalk up all of your feelings to being pregnant. I can imagine if you had this same scenario a few months ago, you would probably still be a little upset at the rejection and the way she did it. However, you are pregnant, and having been that way myself, I know what it can do to you. It takes a toll on your sanity for sure. Which is probably causing you to question yourself, when normally you probably wouldn't. You do wonderful work, and you must have received a lot of positive feedback in the past (because I remember a while ago you were going to go for this as a full time thing and quit your job, until the pregnancy). You wouldn't have thought about that if you didn't seriously think you could succeed at it. Some people are just blunt, and don't think twice about what they say or how it might impact the person it is said to.
Keep positive!
It's hard not to take these things personally - since cake baking/decorating is an incredibly personal thing for those who do it. But you have to remember to those who are "clients", it's a business. Like any other "business" they have the perogative to shop around and have their own tastes (as weird or as bad as they may be . They have no idea how much thought, time, and love goes into our creations. So they will often use business etiquette - in other words, blunt, not always thoughtful, and often rude. Your cakes are absolutely beautiful!!! I have never tasted them, and am sure they taste good too, but I'd eat your cakes if they tasted like cardboard - they are that stunning. I agree with another reply - it's better not to have to do business with her. Brides can be very difficult - you do not need a Bridezilla on your hands right now. I truly hope you aren't doubting yourself in any way - I'll say it again, your cakes are amazing!!
I'm with those who said this one would probably have been a pain to deal with. Anyone who cannot simply say "We're going with someone else, but thank you for your time and effort." would probably be a bridezilla anyway, and she has already take two tastings? I smell last minute design changes, and "you don't mind, do you?"s. Amazing how many people want a beautiful cake til they see what it costs, then go Wal-Mart or Publix!
And congratulations! Cakes are so unimportant when babies are in the mix!
Best wishes to you and your growing family!
I don't get every "job" after a cake tasting, and I took it so personally the first few times. Unfortunately, when we offer a free consult/cake tasting, we run the risk of losing a little time and money. And then you get annoyed with the client, and then you start doubting your ability. Many professions put out some time and money before they are assured a sale (car dealers; realtors; decorators; etc.,etc.). It is the nature of business unfortunately.
Of course I think my cake is the best! And you're a dummy if you don't hire me. Take that attitude and you'll feel much better if you don't get hired next time. Just don't say it loud to the customer...
By the way, Ellen, your cakes are some of the best in all of Cake Central IMO! I can't imagine someone with your design talent making yucky cake!
I was just thinking of the birthday parties where some members of my husband's family will talk about how yummy the dry, fluffy, tasteless supermarket cake is! lol. Not everyone has good taste.
She really could have just felt like she needed to give you a reason and that was the best she could come up with.
Thanks, guys (ladies) for making me feel better! I tried to be cordial and I did tell her, "well, you have to do what's best for you. Good luck". I am sure the Italian cake she is ordering is delicious...it is a matter of preference. I think if I were her, I would have said, "your cakes were good, but there is a vendor who does this Italian cake and it suits our family a little better." I would have been fine with it. I guess I just did not need to hear how bad my cakes were today...I know they aren't bad. I made spare sample bags, and my hubby ate them all, so I know they are good. I just feel pissy about it, but thanks to you guys, I'm getting over it.
PS...thanks for the tip! I want to get that book!
Just wanted to say congratulations to you!! It's hard when people aren't as cordial or tactful as they could be. A simple "thank you so much for your time but we made a different choice" would have done so much better! Some people!
Talk about being emotional-I got a parking ticket when I was pregnant and cried for 20 minutes!
A few more updates:
On the bad side, there was a customer who had me hold a date open for her for a sculptured cake (she wanted a fondant cake shaped like hawaiian shirt hand-painted with parrots and palm trees, etc). Like a dummy, I did not require a deposit. Last night, I told her the cake would be around 200.00, to feed 60 people. Today, I called her, and now she tells me she is going with another route for a cake. She does not want to pay so much for a cake; her husband thought it was too expensive. I told her, "well, the amount of work that goes into a cake like that is enormous. Sculptured cakes are expensive." She said, "I know, but we are going a different route." So then I asked her, "What did you think of the samples?" She told me they were delicious and she was very impressed with the cake flavors. So at least that part was good.
Then another lady who used to be a pastry chef tried the samples. She was someone I actually had classes with in college, and we didn't realize that until she came in for a consulation. She told me the cakes were amazing, and she is booking me for this coming weekend. She told me most people don't know the quality of cake they are eating and that mine were top of the line. She said the other woman who didn't like the cakes wasn't refined enough to realize the work that went into my samples. It was a very reassuring phone call. Anyway, thanks again for all your positive vibes! I really needed them today!
Congrats on your baby.
I just seen your cakes and all I can say are WOW. You truely are gifted. Don't let her get you down. The last thing you need would be all her added stress. Again WOW
Yep, it's part of the business. But I have never heard of anyone actually telling the decorator why they weren't going with them. That was insensitive of her. But remember, God will just send you 4 more clients to take her space!!!!
It's hard enough to have someone say not nice things when you aren't pregnant but it's harder to shake off when you are. I remember when I was pregnant with my youngest every little thing would bring me to tears. Good or bad. Just remember you do beautiful work and some people are incapable of appreciating talent because they are jealous.
Okay, I don't know much about Italian Wedding Cakes, so I researched them. They are mostly a spongey cake with fruit fillings. The only ingredient I saw different in an Italian Wedding Cake recipe was Anise. The decoration is often flowery and lacy. The Tratidtional Italian Wedding Cake is a white cake with white BCF and gold accents. So far I don't see where she could have been dissatisfied. Judging from your sampled offerings and the pic's of your creations you are fully capable of producing an Italian Wedding Cake, traditional and non-traditional. I'm sorry she upset you, and wish for you and your's a safe and happy waiting time. Congratulations 
Best wishes to you and your growing family!
I don't get every "job" after a cake tasting, and I took it so personally the first few times. Unfortunately, when we offer a free consult/cake tasting, we run the risk of losing a little time and money. And then you get annoyed with the client, and then you start doubting your ability. Many professions put out some time and money before they are assured a sale (car dealers; realtors; decorators; etc.,etc.). It is the nature of business unfortunately.
Of course I think my cake is the best! And you're a dummy if you don't hire me. Take that attitude and you'll feel much better if you don't get hired next time. Just don't say it loud to the customer...
Karen, you remind me of Rachel Ray and her love of anchovies....... "Now you can leave the anchovies off...... if you're crazy!" She is so funny to me.
Congratulations on your pregnancy!! During my pregnancy, it seemed that I was either a crying fool all the time or mean as hell. If I had to choose, I'd be mean as hell and tell bridezilla to go to hell and then sit back and laugh it off. Remember that her loss is your gain. If you can, why don't you use the day you penciled in for her to simply get some rest. I'm sure that you could use a break. Anyway, all of your cakes are beautiful so ms. "italian cake" can just go on about her business!!!!
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