I have a good friend who asked me to make her daughters wedding cake. She is going to pay ONLY for the cost of the cake. She has had my cakes before and her daughter has too.

Now she asked me if her daughter can have a tasting. I told her no.

What started out as a simple "do what you want" type cake is now a special order with tons of gumpaste orchids on it and special flavors.

I don't think if someone is basically getting the cake for free I should have to do tastings on top. One of the flavors is the same as one of the cakes the soon to be bride already had.

I think since she is young she just wants to do all the "bride to be" things like tastings.

Oh btw the order is for homemade carrot and homemade banana cakes.

Am I being to hard? Would you make up two cakes for this girl?

NO! You aren't being too hard. Sounds like they want to do all the bride stuff like you are thinking. It seems a little inconsiderate on their part considering they've tasted some of your cake before AND they are getting the cake for cost... You are not wrong

I know what you mean, this has happened to me constantly. Family or friends ask me to do the cake, I agree, for free, or at cost, and they always start out the way you described, they are so greatful at first, give me complete control, and then everything changes, it turns out to be much more expensive and labor intensive.
I would explain to the bride that she is getting an awesome deal, and the extra costs involved in doing a tasting is just too much. Thats a new one on me though, no one has asked for a tasting yet, on a freebie, so I don't blame you at all for saying no, people just need to be a little more grateful.

You could always offer to SELL her a couple of 6" cakes so that she can enjoy tasting them in the privacy of her own home.
Also, if you're feeling resentful about how elaborate the design of the cake is becoming, give them 2 or 3 simple options that you'll do for the price of supplies (or whatever amount you agreed upon), and tell her that you will have to charge extra for any additional embellishments. She's still getting a great deal, whether she decides to go with the simple designs or pay extra for the gumpaste orchids.

If she wants a tasting then charge her for it. But the questions is ....Would she go to someone else should she not like the taste of the cakes???

It doesn't make sense for her to ask for a tasting when she 1) already picked her flavors, and 2)has had your cakes before and knows they are good.

I say stick to you guns. What are they going to do, go to someone else and pay full price?

Joannek- I told all my nieces and nephews that their wedding cake would be a gift from me but it would be on my terms and I will stick to that. The cake is basically a gift from you and I can't believe your friend is tryong to take advantage of that friendship. I agree I would give them two or three choices and thats it. People just don't understand what goes into designing and decorating a wedding cake. Talk to her before its to late. As far as the tasting, absolutely not!

I would charge for any gumpaste flowers you have to do since it was originally supposed to be your choice, and now they've changed their mind. Gumpaste isn't quick to do! I would also charge for her tasting! Sounds like she just wants to do what brides do. Charge for them! I would also charge for the entire cake if they decide to be any more difficult or make the design harder.

I would tell her no tasting unless she pays. I also would give her a few choices of simple designs that you are willing to do for free - don't let her go crazy with the gumpaste flowers for free.

I feel much better knowing others would do the same as I'm doing. I think my friend knows I'm getting to my breaking point.

When she first asked she said "Can you do the cake? I don't want to go to some high priced bakery and pay $400 for the cake". I told her there was no way she would get the cake for that price. She wants it to feed at least 200 people!!! She looked at me like I was full of it and said "Are you kidding? Over $400 just for cake?"

I tried to explain to her that even a simple wedding cake was going to cost more then $2 a serving here. So she said "well it's a good thing I have a friend who will do it for free"

Now to be honest I know this is mostly my fault because when I started doing cakes I told her I would make her cakes for free if she got me people to order cakes. She goes to tons of places that would need cakes. Her school, her work, her sons activities and told me she would get me tons of orders. The truth is she has never gotten me one order and I've already made her several FREE cakes. She never even paid for the supplies.

So now she wants tons of free cakes still. I don't know how to tell her no more free cakes. I'm a wimp

But there is NO way I'm spending hours and hours or I should say days on making gumpaste orchids for this cake. She can just order fresh ones.

I'm going to make the cake with my design only and if she doesn't like it then to bad...............go order a cake and pay big bucks.

I really feel used.

My goodness- how rude! I would definitely agree with the above- tell her basic design is free- but any extra she will HAVE TO pay for!! If she wants to do the tasting so badly, charge her for a 3 layer 6 inch cake with both flavors she already picked and one extra flavor that is not as good as the other two. This way there will be no changing her mind on the flavor. Also- I would straight out tell your friend that you will be happy to continue to supply her with free cakes as long as she starts drumming up some business for you. Sounds like your "friend" might really not be!

I think you need to sit down and have a frank discussion with your friend.
Assume for both your sakes that she isn't trying to take advantage of you, that she just doesn't understand how much work goes into making a cake and that she's taking your offer of free cakes at face value still.

Explain to her how many hours you spend on a cake, and how much of a sacrifice it is for you (and for your family!) to make a free wedding cake. Show her some real-world prices, too. Some brides magazines have a per serving price for the cakes they show (in the back of the magazine where they credit the designer), or find a nice cake website with prices on it. Think of this as an opportunity to educate her!

Be very firm about how much cake and how elaborate of a design you are willing to do for free for the wedding cake, then give her some price options if she wants a fancier cake.

A reasonable person will understand this!

I've made free wedding cakes for my husband's nieces for their wedding gifts (3 so far). With the last one, I let the bride and her mom know that they were getting about $500 worth (rough estimate for this cake: http://www.cakecentral.com/modules.php?name=gallery&file=displayimage&pid=9751 ) of wedding cake as a gift, because they really had no idea how much wedding cakes cost. I wasn't snotty about it, and I think it helped them realize that it really was a good gift!

Well if she wants to do what normal brides are doing tell her normal brides pay for there cake that should silence her. I dont think you are being to harsh at all. I think they knowingly or not are takeing advantage of your generosity and it sounds like your friend does this often. If I were in your shoes I would tell your friend that while you wouldnt mind makeing cakes for her in the future its just not cost effective for you to make them for free and she will at very least have to pay for the cost to make the cake (this is if you just cant bring yourslef to flat out tell her no more cakes) what line of work is your friend in I wonder if she would provide her services to you free of charge time and time agian? As far as the tasting goes I would say the same thing as others offer to charge her for a small 3 layer cake and whatever you do do not do all of that gumpaste work for these people who are part of our ever growing all about me population who probably wont even apperciate your hard work and unreal generosity.

I agree with everyone else -- you are not obligated to give this bride a tasting for her free cake which she's already picked the flavors for. And also, if it were me, and she was asking for gumpaste flowers, I would kindly direct her to www.wholesalesugarflowers.com and ask her to order the ones she wants.

The nerve of some people.

now arent they being a little demanding .

I would be more frank. I would say " A tasting is a sales appointment, so since there is no sale, there is no tasting."

I totally agree with cakeboss in that there is no way in h*ll I'd be sitting around making dozens of gumpaste flowers for no profit. Pfeil and Holing has a HUGE selection of orchids, and she can shop to her hearts content. Offer to stick them on for free

This happens with the best of us. Duff stated once on his show that if he is giving the bride a cake for his gift it is his design. If they want to design it they pay for it. We all should do that more often.

I LOVE the idea of sending them to the gumpaste list and tell them to buy the ones they want. I would gladly put them on for her. Thanks for the idea!

this really makes me sick the way so called friends and sometimes family members take advantage of good will and good friends i too have been in this situation many times and i have come to the point where i am getting sick of being used i have now learnet to say NO!!!!! yipee and boy does it feel good. NO NO NO NO, yes you too can say it come on say it with me NNNNNNOOOOO see doesn't that feel better....i also like the one when you deliver the cake and they are so happy that they say to you that they would have paid $400 for it (and under your breath you are saying then y the h*ll didnt you) ......i feel for you hope things go well