Survivor Mommy -- You'll Like This One :lol:
Lounge By poochynooch Updated 14 Jun 2006 , 9:41pm by moshiachnow
I'm sure you can all relate to this one!
>
>>> THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES
>>>
>>> Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and
>>> 3 kids each for six weeks.
>>>
>>> Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance
>>> classes.
>>>
>>> There is no fast food.
>>>
>>> Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house
>>> clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do
>>> laundry, and pay a list of "pretend" bills with not enough money.
>>>
>>> In addition, each man will have to budget in money for
>>> groceries each week.
>>>
>>> Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and
>>> relatives, and send cards out on time.
>>>
>>> Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment,
>>> a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment . He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care
>>> (weekend, evening, on a holiday or right when they're about to leave
>>> for vacation). He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social
function.
>>>
>>> Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned
>>> house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all
times.
>>>
>>> The men will only have access to television when the kids are
>>> asleep and all chores are done.
>>>
>>> There is only one TV between them, and a remote with dead
>>> batteries.
>>>
>>> Each father will be required to know all of the words to every
>>> stupid song that comes on TV and the name of each and every
>>> character on cartoons.
>>>
>>> The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, which they
>>> will apply to themselves either while driving or making three
lunches.
>>>
>>> Each man will have to make an Indian hut model with six
>>> toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a
>>> serving of peas.
>>>
>>> Each man must adorn himself with jewelry, wear uncomfortable
>>> yet stylish shoes, keep their nails polished and eyebrows groomed.
>>> The men must try to get through each day without snot, spit-up or
>>> barf on their clothing.
>>>
>>> During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure
>>> severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained
>>> mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties.
>>> They must try to explain what a tampon is for when the 6-yr old boy
>>> finds it in the purse.
>>>
>>> They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time
>>> at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar
setting.
>>>
>>> He will need to read a book and then pray with the children
>>> each night without falling asleep, and then feed them, dress them,
>>> brush their teeth and comb their hair each morning by 7:00. They
>>> must leave the home with no food on their face or clothes.
>>>
>>> A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each
>>> father will be required to know all of the following information:
>>> each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and
doctor's name.
>>> Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length
>>> of labor, each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack,
>>> favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what
>>> they want to be when they
>>> grow up.
>>>
>>> They must clean up after their sick children at 2:00 a.m. and
>>> then spend the remainder of the day tending to that child and
>>> waiting on them hand and foot until they are better.
>>>
>>> They must have a loving, age appropriate reply to, "You're not
>>> the boss of me".
>>>
>>> The kids vote them off the island based on performance.
>>> The last man wins only if...he still has enough energy to be
>>> intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.
>>>
>>> If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over
>>> and over again for the next 18-25 years...eventually earning the
>>> right to be called Mother!
>>>
>>> After you get done laughing, send this to as many females as
>>> you think will get a kick out of it and as many men as you think can
>>> handle it.
>>>
That's hilarious!!
I need to go share that with everyone I know!
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