I write this crying, I've been crying all day. I know many people have pets and the loss of one is painful, and I know some people cannot understand that you feel the same pain when you lose a bird, like you would a dog or a cat, but it is.
I handraised a little Sun Conure, it's a small parrot. His name is Ringo,and I loved him dearly....but I had reached a point in my life where I was not able to give him the attention he deserved and he was screeching all the time and I found myself avoiding him and that hurt me more than anything. I had to go back to work, I had financial problems, children problems, etc.
So I decided to give him to a bird rescue group who I knew would take care of him and eventually adopt him out to someone who could truly devote thier time to him. I cried everyday for weeks.
Last night, I received the call that he had died, they said a stroke, I say a broken heart.
How could I have done such a thing...I write this sobbing, and I cannot stop bawling...
My heart is broken and the fact that I broke his, will never leave me.
Please spare your harsh words, I cannot bear anymore...
I thought I was doing him a favor, instead I may have killed him.
Oh my!! I am reading your post and I am living with you what you're going through. I have a dog and he is my life and I can't imagine my life without him, so I understand your pain. But think this way, maybe he was already sick and you didn't know and because God is so great maybe He allowed you to take him to that place for a reason and you didn't have to physically see him die. Hope you feel better.
I agree with laly, A vet once told me that most pet birds die before there owners even knew they were sick!! Birds are one of the most difficult to tell if they are. This vet actually specialises in birds because there are not many that do. You were doing the right thing by him. You were giving him a chance to be happy and loved by more than just you. He was a very lucky little birdy.
Aww I am so sorry, we have 3 parakeets (cookie, tweety and blueberry) and we love them to death! I am sorry for your loss but don't be hard on yourself, you did the best you could in the situation you were in!! Like I said I am sorry, I know it is hard!
We had the same thing happen to our cockatiel. We had him for a couple of years, then had our first son. Marty was very jealous of the baby, and squaked ALL day, every day. We gave the bird to my dad, and not long after, he died of what we were told was a stroke. We felt like you...that he had died of a broken heart. It will get easier!
thank you all for your kind words, you each made me think of a different perspective on this.
The rescue group is allowing me to bring him back home for burial. They and I feel it is where he would want to be.
I'm going to try not to cry today, I'm not going to tell my kids what happened. They think I've been crying because I told him he was adopted out.
I must learn how to supress or deal better with this guilt. I KNOW that my intentions were good, it's just hard.
Thank you all again, it's good to know that someone else understands.
It is hard to lose a family pet especially when you are so close to them and love them so much ... and your heart will always ache for him no matter how long its been and that's ok too nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed of. If you don't want to tell your kids that's alright as well ... you can always come here and we will sympathize with you .. you know you did right in all the years you had him and he knows how much you loved him because as much as you loved him he loved you twice as much .. he had a good life with you and your family ... just remember that.
thank you Cake,
The rescue group returned him back to me with a little bouquet of flowers and a poem, that made me cry even more, but has helped alleviate my sorrow: I'm Still Here
I was near you, by your bed last night, I came to have a peek
I could see that you were crying, you found it hard to sleep
I chattered to you softly, as you brushed away a tear
"Its me, I haven't left you. I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."
I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour your tea
You were thinking of the many times your hands reached out to me.
I was with you at my grave today. You tend it with such care.
I want to reassure you, that I am not lying there.
I flew with you back towards the house, as you fumbled for the key.
I gently touched you with a feather, I smiled and said, "Its me"
You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair,
I tried so hard to let you know that I was perching there.
Its possible for me to be so near you everyday
To say to you with certainty, "I never went away"
You sat there very quietly, and then smiled, I think you knew
in the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.
The day is over, I smile and watch you yawning
And say "Good night, God bless, I'll see you in the morning"
And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll fly across to greet you and we'll enter side by side.
I have many things to show you. There is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out...then come home to be with me.
Ladies, thank you for being there for me...I cried today, but not from grief, but from pure sorrow. I know it will take time.
<hugs>
oh, I buried him yesterday, wrapped in a blanket (he loved to get under them) and put him under a beautiful crepe myrtle, with an angel statue besides him. Thank you all again, you have no idea how much you all have helped
being as I am the treasurer at my church -- I usually skip Sunday Bible Class as it makes the perfect time to get all the bills paid.
This past Sunday as I was working, I overheard pastor (LOUD voice) say something that applies here.
Pastor is was ranting just a bit about the "silly" questions people keep asking him.
This past Sunday the question in question was:
When my (fill in w/ pet of choice) dies, will it go to heaven?
(i'll spare you the little rant that followed) --
he finished his rant w/
It clearly says that HE (meaning Christ) came to redeem ALL creation and make it new and perfect in Him in heaven. SO, uh duh, YES (pet) will be in heaven!!
so sorry for your loss.
Everlasting Sweets, so sorry for your pain. I use to rescue birds of all sizes. I took in many birds that people did not have time for and birds that were mistreated. I had an open avairy that all the birds flew openly mixing with each other species. I called it my birdie retirement home. Last year we were faced with the cost of rebuilding the winter house for the birds and had to make a very tuff decision. We could not afford to rebuild the building not only for the cost, but for the stress it would put on the flock. I had already lost quite a few birds when construction work was being done in my yard before. The constant hammering cause 7 birds to have heartattacks and die in one day. I did find another home for the entire flock. They went to an underpreviliged children's pet farm. I have not been able to go and visit them, because I still miss them whenever I work in my yard. I loved their playfullness and personalities. Your bird had a special place in your heart and always will. Your bird might have missed you and became depressed or it might have picked up a cold if it was put in a draft. It could have gotten an infection that was not diagnosed. There are many things that could have happened. When a bird gets sick, things happen fast if you do not know the personality of that bird to realize it is sick. Your baby was loved by you and that is what you should remember. I hope you can stop blaming yourself, you did not do anything to harm him. You were doing the best thing you could for him. Some people I know would just open up the cage and let them fend for themself. You at least were smarter and more caring than some.
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