I had to go to the er tonight. My ankle is about the size of a golf ball. I've been in pain since tuesday, however, the swelling is horrible!!! I can withstand ALOT of pain but this scared me as the swelling is going up my leg.
Anyway, the bf and I have not got along since Easter (whole nother story) since then, I've been piling his dishes on the counter because I refuse to do dishes for a mama's boy, so now dirty dishes are cluttering my counter (it's driving me CRAZY 
) There's nothing worse than dishes piled!!!! So I drove "myself" to the er and sat there by "myself" for 3hrs. (which was ok, cause I got to enjoy some me time) The doc said that I needed to stay off my ankle for the entire weekend.. He did an ultrasound of my leg to make sure their were not clots, and did some x-rays (luckly found nothing, he thinks I've stirred up an old injury). I came home and explained this to the bf and asked nicely if he could do the dishes.. Nice being the word 
HIS RESPONSE... I'll try. that sent me over the edge!! It's either YES or NO it's as simple as that RIGHT?? That's what I told him and then preceeded to explain that if they were not done by tomorrow then they would go in the garbage!!!!!
Needless to say, I cleaned off my counter!!! 
YUP I have two bags full of his dirty dishes plus all the stuff on the counter that was his that he would'nt put away!!!! Now I have a counter back... UGH!!! I don't get it!! I work three jobs, plus had to go get my puppy from the vet yesterday 45min from where I live as she got spayed. I slept w/her last night so she didn't have to wear that cone thingy as she hates it. I was up half the night stopping her from chewing her stiches I walk the dog, make dinner, do boyscouts, little league and cakes. He just sits in the recliner from the moment he comes home from work unless a buddy asks him to go have a beer.....
Some advice would be greatly appreciated as I just don't get it!!??
Thanks for reading..
b
As Dr. Phil would say, "How is this working out for you?" 
Sounds like you need to hit the eject button on this one. I think you probably owe it to him to lay down the ground rules and let him know what you expect. Some guys need it spelled out. If he doesn't like it (which it sounds like he probably won't since he didn't help with the dishes while you are injured) he can leave.
Life's too short. You'll find Mr. Right when you're not looking. 
kos
I know you've mentioned before that you don't want to "break up" because of the effect it may have on your son.
Think of the effect on him of watching your BF treat you this way. Your son is learning that it's ok to treat other people this way, by example.
I think you know in your heart that this isn't the right relationship for you, but only you can decide what to do about it.
Somebody famous, and I can't remember who, used to say that you should ask yourself "Am I better off with him or without him?"
You don't have to answer that to us, but it might be a good idea to start exploring the positive effects of being on your own. It sounds like he doesn't appreciate you at all, and that's not good for you or your son.
I don't mean to sound harsh, and I know you're in a tough spot, but think about what's best for you and your son for the long term.
Laura.
It's funny that everyone says that this behavior is not what I want my son to see. the bf promised to take my son and myself out to dinner to my favorite restaurant for our b-days as they are 5 days apart. 5 min before we left my son had on a homemade dale earnhardt winter jacket that my mom made (it's georgeous!!) anyway the bf REFUSED to go cause my son would'nt change his jacket. My son is like helllo my gmother made this for me and I'm NOT taking it off and I agreed that he did'nt have to. So then the bf decides he's not going if my son didn't take the coat off. My son and I had a great dinner by ourselves.... the point of the story is, when my son and I were sitting in the restaurant he says to me.."mom, why does j have to act like that?? ", I said " I don't know buddy he's just in one of his moods." , Well, mom I can tell you that when I become a husband, It won't matter what my kids wear as long as I can be with them. I'll give up whatever i can so I can go out and be w/them"
that sent me over the edge.. He's a good boy and he sees how the bf treats me, but I always remind him that this is not normal and it is NOT how you are supposed to act!!!
I really appreciate everyone's help, I know what I have to do, but it's like trying to lose weight.... I guess you'll do it when your ready.. Thank you for letting me vent and luckily last night.. my son was outside playing w/friends and didn't see anything..
b
... I know what I have to do, but it's like trying to lose weight.... I guess you'll do it when your ready..
b
You're right. Get your eggs in one basket and start to make some changes. You can see that having your BF around isn't making your son particularly happy either. Show your son you respect yourself by not allowing this man to manipulate everything. Your son will grow up and find a strong woman just like his mommy!
Good luck.
kos
obvious he has control issues and wants a "slave" not a girlfriend (harsh I know, but true)
question: are you in his house or he in yours? (affects your options)
you in his -- pack, leave.
he in yours -- change locks, call friends and have them there when he returns and all together help him pack (don't do it yourself!) and see him to door.
any friend a police officer?
move out options:
local motel that has long term rentals
an RV on a friend's property
summer house rental (some people might have homes/property big enough you can be a live-in care taker)
crash at friend's house for short while (goddaughter's?)
any women's shelter or assistance organizations around?
concern: if he gets angry enough, he could change locks on you and not allow you access to your stuff (hold it hostage to get his way) or even throw it out or give it away. -- if he's so easily upset that a jacket will set him off........
consult w/ police officer friends on more options they might know of.
Just a question. How old is your son? He sounds very understanding and smart,and i am almost sure from what he said at the restruant that if you decide to leave and explain it to him, he'll understand and try to help. It'll be hard ,but i hope everything works out whatever you decide to do in the end. ((hug))
Hi, just thought I'd add this little quote to this thread:
"It is better to have loved and lost than to be stuck with a jerk!"
Hope you can work out your situation to your advantage soon, and I agree, you have a very wise little boy! Good luck! Janice
Ok, bo, just from where I've talked to you through other threads, you seem like a very nice, intelilgent & responsible person.
The only thing I want to say is that he is appartently too comfortable; AND you said he's a momma's boy......you're gonna have to deal w/ his "issues" or be gone with him, lol, or work at it...if you truly think he can be a better bf...possibly a great dh.
Good Luck, whatever with, I hope your ankle feels better; and remember make decisions for you (& children ofcoarse). Don't let a man get you this upset.....please, you have enough to deal with on your plate!!
Bodaisy..... I would seriously be concerned about this man.
Save up, start packing stuff up and moving out what stuff you can.
Your son is way more important than this guy!
Also- if he says that you can't do anything without him or you will never make it on your own, HE'S WRONG!!!
You have plenty of friends on here at CC that will support you and have your back!
Go to a quiet spot and close your eyes and relax. Then picture what your life would be like with this guy over the next 10 years. This is my advice: If you become a better person because of the person you are with stay with them. If the person you are with brings out anger, jealousy, rage, anxiety etc. get out . Life is not a dress rehearsal.
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