Ticked Off - Maybe I'm Too Sensitive...

Decorating By chocomama Updated 15 Oct 2013 , 4:11pm by 7189de

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Kazoot Posted 7 Apr 2006 , 5:06pm
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You know, people who don't do cakes do not have a clue.............. icon_confused.gif Do they??? No one seems to understand how much actual work it is.

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marmar Posted 7 Apr 2006 , 6:03pm
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I don't think you're being sensitive at all. Your friend should have fibbed and said " I'm so sorry, I can't take a picture It looked so good, we dug into it the minute we got home." I used to make these cute folksy dolls (sold quite a few for 80 bucks a pair) and the fiance of a colleague went on and on about how she'd love a pair. For their wedding I made them an extra special pair. About two weeks later , he told me that their two dogs got hold of hem and ripped them to shreds, and how his wife was so upset, she wished she had another pair, blah blah. I was ticked off that they'd let them get trashed, but more upset that he told me about it - I didn't need to know. She was fishing for another pair of dolls, but fuggedabudit! Anyway, you're not being overly sensitive, but you also need to stop letting it get to you.

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AmberCakes Posted 7 Apr 2006 , 6:21pm
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Originally Posted by cookieclaire

I know how it feels to have someone not appreciate your gift. Some people don't realize what goes in to a cake. I remember one summer making a cake for a friend and she regifted it-how do I know? I was at the party where it was served (old named scraped off and applied new) I was hurt and so angry when I got home I even cried. I hope that you feel better today.

Re-Gifted? OMG icon_eek.gif the nerve! I am now ticked off that someone would really do that. Heartless! Sorry I had to let that out!-Josie icon_mad.gif

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AmberCakes Posted 7 Apr 2006 , 6:31pm
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Originally Posted by Kazoot

You know, people who don't do cakes do not have a clue.............. icon_confused.gif Do they??? No one seems to understand how much actual work it is.

You know I never had a clue as to what it takes to make and decorate a cake. Now me being a newbie-OMG icon_eek.gif it can take hours just to decorate and not to mention making all the BC. It is alot!-Josie

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mcginnis Posted 7 Apr 2006 , 6:51pm
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What can I say different that everyone else has said. Nothing! icon_biggrin.gif

Maybe you should show your friend, better yet, her husband this web site and your forum! icon_wink.gif
It is very frustrating that non-bakers have no clue about the time and effort used for each and every cake we do. It's exhausting sometimes we know that, but we do it because we love it, and we should all be appreciated for it.
I just had a similar situation a couple of weeks ago. I spent 2 1/2 days making a goodbye cake for my boss at work. (I work in a hospital). In fact, I took off 1/2 day and was up the entire night before to finish it.

It was one of the best cakes I have ever done, a very detailed scenic, mountain cake. My boss loved it. icon_biggrin.gif However, it was set in a back room, because there was no room for it with all the other pot luck food that was brought in. icon_mad.gif It never got displayed out for people in the hospital to see, and some co-worker cut it in the back room, never cleaned the knife periodically when she was cutting it, so all the pieces looked like a glob of mess on each plate. icon_evil.gif
I was very upset when I saw that, (I mean no one was eating the cake because the pieces looked so unappetizing!)
The only thing that made me feel better, was the rehab director came down to see my cake and was upset herself to see how it was cut and how the cake itself was out of general eyesight. She personally tossed out what was already cut, came and got me to cut up more pieces properly and made room on a table for others to see. It was only then that the cake started to go. thumbs_up.gif
Of course, at the stand up meeting the following Monday, the director of my departement thanked everyone for the food, clean-up and the card table that was brought in. No mention about the cake. icon_cry.gif The boss I made the cake for wasn't there of course, because I know he would of thanked me, but I was still hurt by other's insensitivity for my hard work, time and creativity.
So much to the point, that that is the last cake I will do for work.

So you see, you are not over-reacting. We all understand how you feel, but at least time goes on and we get over it, plus we all learn our lessons.

We all give you a pat on the back for being such a nice person, icon_biggrin.gif so don't feel bad.

Let us know how she replied to your e-mail

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Kitagrl Posted 7 Apr 2006 , 7:25pm
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The regifting is terrible! I know there are some who feel they cannot eat a whole cake... I made an edible image cake for a friend and she brought it to somewhere like an office because I guess they don't eat much cake at their house. No big deal, and she told me and said she hoped it was okay!

I actually ask people if they like cake first because if they don't, then no amount of hard work will make them want to eat it.... icon_sad.gif

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prettycake Posted 7 Apr 2006 , 7:40pm
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icon_smile.gif it's true you cannot control what they do after you handed it to them, BUT decent people will not waste a beautiful, labor intensive, labor of love cake in such a way. Intelligent people will know what to do with certain things...cakes are NOT toys, so why treat it like one. She should have known better.. there is no excuse. icon_cool.gif it was enjoyed in a very wrong way.. same as making excuses for these people is as unintelligent and rude. icon_rolleyes.gif

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alracntna Posted 7 Apr 2006 , 8:28pm
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i am so sorry this happened, she should have just said they had already started eating it. i know how you feel there have been many times i have made a cake for someone and they were like oh thats cute. in a tone like i could have gotten that from walmart. i think everyone should be sensitive about what they love to do and maybe they would have more sensitive feels for what others love to do.

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Happygrl Posted 7 Apr 2006 , 9:27pm
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Originally Posted by cookieclaire

I remember one summer making a cake for a friend and she regifted it-how do I know? I was at the party where it was served (old named scraped off and applied new)

icon_eek.gificon_eek.gif I think I've heard it all now!!

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chocomama Posted 8 Apr 2006 , 12:02am
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Ugh, the regifting, dropping and smashing is just all too much! People can be so dumb, sorry to say. I haven't received a response to my email yet, but I know she doesn't get on the computer much so maybe I'll hear something this weekend.

Her daughter and mine go to the same school and my friend was there today and she saw my little girl and told her that the icing was the best she had ever tasted and that she loved it. I guess that's something, right?

{{hugs}} to everyone!

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mmdd Posted 8 Apr 2006 , 12:11am
post #41 of 53

Wow! I guess they did enjoy it....in their own way.

Glad to hear your icing was the best!!!

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Zamode Posted 8 Apr 2006 , 3:10am
post #42 of 53

Yes, that's something. It's still stinks what happened but that makes up for it somewhat. I would hesitate though, at least for awhile, in making them another cake, JMO! icon_wink.gif

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chocomama Posted 9 Apr 2006 , 4:27am
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We bumped into this couple today at our neighborhood's Easter egg hunt and this is what happened:

There was no mention of said cake tampering at all. My friend said they all loved it but it was so much for them that her husband took it to his office and they all loved it, too. OK, this isn't something I would do b/c 1.) I love cake. 2.) I never knew anyone who gave away cake. 3.) I think it's a little odd. All right, whatever. Tell me this, though...if it was too much, why would you give it away only THE MORNING AFTER it was given to you??? I understand that it was Friday and by Monday it may not be as fresh, but WHO keeps a cake for 1 night??? Is this some weird Southern thing? No offense, but I'm from the North and NO ONE I know there would EVER even THINK about giving away 1.) A cake or 2.) a GIFT. OK, maybe I'm exaggerating, but isn't that strange? Now, my friend did say she was on a diet, but she always says that. This is like the person who posted that her friend regifted her cake only this person actually told me about it. WEIRD!

What's even stranger is that we actually went to dinner with them tonight! I can honestly say that aside from cake treatment that they SEEM pretty normal! icon_confused.gif

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sugartopped Posted 9 Apr 2006 , 4:44am
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Originally Posted by chocomama

but WHO keeps a cake for 1 night??? Is this some weird Southern thing? No offense, but I'm from the North and NO ONE I know there would EVER even THINK about giving away 1.) A cake or 2.) a GIFT. OK, maybe I'm exaggerating, but isn't that strange?

well not sure about the southern vs northern thing...I'm from Missouri but live in Florida....but this happens all the time where I work!! People are ALWAYS bringing in leftovers (desserts, cookies, dinners, etc.) to work!! I know in my house even....if it isn't eaten by the 2nd day....off to work it will go!! B/c I know we won't eat it (whatever 'IT' may be)...but noone at work EVER passes on free leftovers!! Rather it get eaten, than thrown away.

So I wouldn't think it was too werid, some people can really have just ONE slice!! Don't know how though...I think that is werider (sp).....than giving away food!!! icon_lol.gif

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PennySue Posted 9 Apr 2006 , 5:08am
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Cookieclaire, this reminded me of your story. A friend sent it to me. Hope it's not too long.

You are going to
love this -- especially all of the ladies who bake
for church events.

Alice was to bake a cake for the Baptist Church ladies' group bake sale in Tuscaloosa, but she forgot to do it until the last minute.
She remembered it the morning of the bake sale and after rummaging through cabinets she found a dusty old Angel food cake mix in the back of her kitchen cabinet and quickly made it while drying her hair and dressing and helping her son Bryan pack up for Scout camp.

But when Alice took the cake from the oven the center had dropped flat and the cake was horribly disfigured. She said, "Oh dear, there's no time to bake another cake."

This cake was so important to Alice because she did so want to fit in at her new church, and in her new community of new friends. So, being inventive and not wanting anyone to think she was not the perfect woman able to handle all things at all times or that, God forbid, she not participating in her church's bazaar, she looked around the house for
something to build up the center of the cake.

Alice found it in the bathroom -- a roll of toilet paper. She plunked it in and then covered it with icing. Not only did the finished product look
beautiful, it looked perfect!

Before she left the house to drop the cake by the church and head for work, Alice woke her daughter Amanda and gave her some money and specific instructions to be at the bake sale the minute it opened at 9:30,
and to buy that cake and bring it home. When the daughter arrived at the sale, she found that the attractive perfect cake had already been
sold. Now there could be no way to bring it home and keep the secret.

Amanda grabbed her cell phone and called her Mom. Alice was horrified...she was beside herself. Everyone would know. What would they think? "Oh, my goodness; what shall I ever do?" she wailed! She would be ostracized, talked about, ridiculed. She would have to move or kill herself!

All night Alice lay awake in bed thinking about people pointing their fingers at her and talking about her behind her back.

The next day, Alice promised herself that she would try not to think about the cake and she would attend a fancy luncheon/bridal shower at the home of a friend of a friend and try to have a good time. Alice did not really want to attend because the hostess was a snob who more than once had looked down her nose at the fact that Alice was a single parent and not from the founding families of Tuscaloosa; but having already RSVP'd,
she could not think of a believable excuse to stay home. The meal was elegant, the company was definitely upper crust old South....and to Alice's horror the CAKE in question was presented for dessert. Alice felt the blood drain from her body when she saw the cake, she started to get out of her chair to rush into the kitchen to tell her hostess all about
it, but before she could get to her feet, the Mayor's wife said, "What a beautiful cake!"

Alice, who was still stunned and trying to formulate what words she would use to explain the situation, sat back in her chair when she heard the hostess (who was a prominent church member) say, "

Thank you, I baked it myself."
Alice smiled and thought to herself "There is a God."

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auntiecake Posted 9 Apr 2006 , 5:12am
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I gave a coupon for a cake to a coworker for Xmas. Her little boys BD is Jan 2 and she had made the comment when I brought a cake to work that she wished she could afford one for her so .
So I decided to give her the coupon rather than some little gift she wouldn't use. I made a cute little box w/my stamps and put the coupon i made inside it. She accepted it and then on the Monday following when I asked her what she would like she was sorry said she couldn't accept it because she couldn't afford a gift for me! I told her that wasn't the object of the gift and I didn't expect anything in return. She said well maybe I want to make him a cake. I was confused and hurt! Anyway.............. that is the just of it! I did make him a cake last year as a gift and she was elated! Go figure!

I also have a superviser that loves to poke the cakes I bring in for coworkers birthdays! She says they are too perfect and in goes the finger. The first few times I thought it was rude and childish, but I just deal with it now and know she does like the cakes. Strange though isn't it!

I understand your frustration! I agree cookies or a bowl of fruit and save your time and talent for someone else.

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cookieclaire Posted 9 Apr 2006 , 7:22am
post #47 of 53

Thank you for posting! The story made me laugh. For a long time I would just get angry when I retold the story. I never did talk to my "friend" after the party. Shocking as her actions proved, the cake got good reviews. Though I bit my tongue while eatting the cake I had given as a gift, a little piece of me felt good that it was being enjoyed by someone. I would rather someone eat the cake versus having it decorate a dumpster. Honestly some people don't realize what a true gift it is to get a cake made with care.


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chocomama Posted 10 Apr 2006 , 12:08am
post #48 of 53

PennySue, that is such a cute story! Thanks for sharing!

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randel Posted 10 Apr 2006 , 3:37am
post #49 of 53

Isn't it funny how possesive we get of our cakes! I feel exactly the same way!! Other people see just a cake that can be bought and the shop but to us, we're putting our hearts into it and really showing who we are. That's why each and every cake is unique and special. If you're getting a cake made for a special occasion -- wouldn't you want the cake perfect for them to see. I think by damaging the cake you made not only show disrespect to you but for who the cake was for as well!! I don't know that I would want to do another cake for them in the future.

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chocomama Posted 10 Apr 2006 , 3:51am
post #50 of 53

There will definitely not be any free cakes in their future. If they want to pay me, that's something different. icon_wink.gif

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partsgirl25 Posted 10 Apr 2006 , 3:56am
post #51 of 53

Kinda ot, but auntiecake it sounds to me like your coworker may be seeing your cakes & feeling a little jealous. She probably thinks "Oh, I can do that, it doesn't look so hard". I wouldn't get my feelings hurt, she'll have a new respect for you after she tries to make her first cake.

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johnbailey64 Posted 15 Oct 2013 , 3:27pm
post #52 of 53

I was reading through threads and found  your post. I know exactly what you mean!


Last year, I was new to the area and was invited to a Christmas party at church.

We were to bring desserts -  I'm thinking this is a good way for people to see and taste one of my cakes.

So I make this 10 inch round layered red velvet, white cream cheese icing and filling, covered with roses, on a beautiful pedestal. So when it its cut, it's this beautiful red inside, white roses on the outside-a presentation!


I walk through the door with it and the 'kitchen people' come take it from my hand, to the kitchen, slice it up, put it on paper saucers and put them on the dessert table. :-(


I had spent so long on that! Man!! Of course, I just smiled and went on. That's what we have to do sometimes. SMH ! I did still get compliments on the taste.

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7189de Posted 15 Oct 2013 , 4:09pm
post #53 of 53

I'm so sorry to hear of such disrespect. People that don't do caking have no clue of how much time,money and heart it takes to make a special cake.I will be praying that this doesn't affect your relationship with your friend. I doubt I would make another cake for them.

I understand fully how you feel,this year I had the honor to make my niece's wedding cake(4 tier that she loved and exactly what she wanted ) My dear sister inlaw said "too may flowers" another niece said " that icing was too sweet" My response was and it was said with love "from now on y'all can pay me for these cakes"   

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