I apologize in advace if this subject is taboo around here, but you cake people seem to be on the same level as me and always give GREAT comments, etc., so here it goes...........I'm in my mid - late 20's, and I've been married for 3 years.........we have two children; 4 & 5..........we've been together for 7 years. And, we have been through everything, and I mean EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! From having no money to so much that we don't know what to do with it, but trust me...we found ways, lol; from being so loving & affectionate and on cloud 9 to one of us cheating on the other...........ANYWAY..............I'm dead serious when I tell you all this: I""M NOT HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
I gained weight after having 2 c sections and I've gained more since then and I'm trying to get my life together and lose the weight.
Oh guess what else.......I'm a stay at home mother, so that makes me very happy to be with my children, but my husband works 2 1/2 hours away(in another state BTW) and he's not home mon, tues, wed nights.
I'm not happy.........is it me or what????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? I'm way too young for a mid life crisis!!!!!
anyone?????? hellp???????? 
To be honest........I guess I don't know....I mean sometimes I feel different about him. Sometimes when we talk and when he's home for the 4 days out of the week, things are just GREAT!!!!!!!!! But, then sometimes they're not.
I honestly would have to say there are things I love about him, like the way he kisses me, the way he smells, the way he curls up behind me in bed, etc, etc. but for the actual LOVE HIM thing...I'm gonna seriously think about that.........I hate to ask this, but what does it sound like to you?!?!
Your in a rut! I think you love him, love your children, but the day to day struggle of being a single parent (most of the time) and your routine is dragging you down. I am the same way sometimes. If there is a small piece of your heart that still cares for him--FIGHT FOR HIM! Change your routine, shake things up abit, find things you have in common you did not know about. It doesn't take much but effort. Ever have a picnic in the livingroom after the kids are in bed? Read the same book together, just for the conversation about it? Just look for things to do to bring you back together.
Thanks for giving your honest opinion.
I would definitely call it a rut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL
We'll be happy for the longest time and then I just get down every once in a while. I mean, I've potty trained both of our boys, I do all of the laundry, etc., etc. I even take care of his dog that constantly barks, UGH!!!!!! I feel like I do it all, and it gets me down sometimes.
I've told him I'm unhappy with him working away and being gone 3 nights out of the week, but he says there's nothing he can do about it right now, unless I want him to take a $13 pay cut. And, we can't have that!!!! He tells me that he thinks I'm unhappy because I can't get rid of the weight that I want to lose....he says he accepts me as I am! ANd, I do believe him because he doesn't care if he's touching a love handle, lol! So, I guess I just needed to vent a little and hear something from someone that doesn't know us personally!
Thanks a lot!
Do you realize your avatar is reflecting your feelings about your life right now? (Too much Dr. Phil!! LOL ) Change it to something springy. Let it reflect where you want to be. It will be a reminder with each post (by the way I think you set a record, most post in the least amount of time).
I am curious to see what the other CC members have to say to you. I hope you get alot of response to this post. Sometimes if you get alot of different angles and takes on things it helps you see things in a better light.
I wish you the best, life is to short to be unhappy!
Kimberly
Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was wondering if I set a record or not????????
I guess, really, it's so easy to get caught up in a rut sometimes with doing the same things over & over & over. Some people just don't have time to stop and think about it, I guess.
And, I'm not one to just hold all of my feelings in and NEVER say anything....I'm very emotional! It's a curse sometimes, but thanks again, newtodecorating. Sometimes, talking just really helps!!!
I agree, impossible, lol!
Ummm........I asked myself that. and I'm honestly quite sure that if I lost the weight I'd be so happy, you wouldn't believe it......I used to wear a size 5, but now I won't even go shopping for jeans! I wear athletic pants & sweat pants all of the time because I don't want to buy a large size! I have a closet full of clothest that I can't wear! I don't know how to get motivated to lose this weight!
At times, occasionally,he has gotten moved around to where he could come home every night and while I absolutely LOVED it...I couldn't ever be happy with it, b/c I just knew that one of these days he'd not be coming home every night.
don't know why you've been mia, or even how, but welcome back!!!
Yes the main question is do you still love HIM. Not the idea of being married, or needing to stay because of the kids......but do you love him? I went thru this not to long ago (we didn't have kids). He worked in our town, but EVERYTHING and EVERYONE else was more important than I was. I did everything around the house, became very handy with the tools! I finally had to make a change for me, because after searching within myself I found I did not love him anymore. I left for my personal mental well being, I was so depressed all the time. That is no way to live. If you truely love him STAY AND FIGHT. Some people never find their true love, hold on and do what newtodecorating says, shake things up a bit.
A part of me loves being married, while another part of me hates it.
I have just got the tools out and found a way to get things done...and with two boys....I've had to do a lot of things on my own. Last year, when hurricane katrina came through, my husband was down there working for 40 days straight.
sometimes I feel like I'm on my own. I've talked this over with him. He says I need to enjoy the time we have together and stop thinking bad thoughts, like mon, tues & wed. nights he won't be home.
I mean, with all we've been through....and we've been together for 7 years, we still act all giddy with each other a lot of the time. there are a ton of kisses and hugs before either one of us leaves....and it doesn'tmatter who sees us. We don't care. There's definitely a bond there!!!!
But, now after typing & reading & typing & reading....I'm thinking that maybe I need to find myself. I mean, I got lost when I became a mommy....there wasn't a me anymore at all...I never had time for me...I was just mommy...and a wife. I forgot all about myself!
Does that make sense to anyone????
There is alot to do with two small ones, hubby not being home and the house but you need time for YOU. You are a wife & mother and those are wonderful jobs but you are still you. Somehow you have to find a niche for yourself, even if it's in small steps....taking time out for a bath, reading a book, spending time with a friend and let hubby watch the children. If it's the cake decorating, them make that time your own, not in between dinner and baths and whatnot, you get my drift.
My best friend was telling me about a party she had (that I either lalready left or could not attend), a mutual friend of ours who has 3 children under six years old and a very nice but not helpful husband--she does everything--told her, "I can't wait to get my life back" and I thought that was so sad. In her case, yes, you sacrifice for the children and even the husband but she has already been lost and you cannot let that happen. Even if you wanted to find a counselor in your area, a clergyman would be free, to help you sort through things. Don't let yourself slip away! {{hugs}}
one thing i can honestly sugest, is buying new clothes.. it DOESNT matter if ur a lil bigger, if u have to buy big sizes! different clothes, and types of clothes can totally change ur outlook on life, and ur mood. i no when i dress down, i feel horrible, and that changes my mood, makes me depresed, makes me angry and everything. so i say if u have a lil extra money, go out and treat urself to a nice outfit or 2. and just because they may be bigger woman clothes, does NOT mean there bad looking. my moms a big lady and the stores they have now adays are AMAZING!!!! also, getting a new haircut, and pampering urself to a nice day does do wonders.
i hope for u everything willll get better.. u deserve to be happy!!!!
Just reading through some of these comments I can see that there is a bunch of us that are going through the same thing.
I CHALLENGE YOU ALL TO MAKE A CHANGE TODAY.
I am willing to make a change to my own life, starting today I am going to do whatever it takes to loose my weight. (30kg weight gained after having my two kids) I'm an Aussie so I work in KG I think 50 pounds is around 22KG (not sure if this is right???)
I reallised that my weight is what is making me unhappy.
It is hard to motivate yourself and find time for yourself when you are a stay at home mum. So If anyone is interested, I will motivate you If you motivate me!!
Would anyone be interested in having a weigh-in once a week, If we are honest and post our exact weight then we can encourage each other If we have a bad week (which we all will at some stage) and congratulate each other as we get closer to our goal.
I beleive that when we start to make a change and start to loose our weight we will all feel better about ourselves which will automatically make us feel better about our lives.
When we weigh in If we have a weight loss and we tried something new we could share what we did differently and help each other out.
Will anyone be taking my challenge????
Ask yourself...Do you want to feel better about you??
OK mmdd,
your on!
I weigh 82.2 kg, I should weigh according to my height somewhere between 58 -62kg according to my doctor who told me to loose weight because of Blood pressure problems during my first pregnancy (3 years ago)
Be brave!! It's just a number!!!
come on now!!!!
lets go....
I'm in, I weigh 212.8 
pounds and want to loose at lease 50, 60 or 70 would be great but dont want to put too much pressure on myself. Perhaps we can get a new forum just for this so we can find the posts easier, sometimes these threads move so quickly down the line they are hard to find.
Lets do this together!
mmdd- you have just taken one step to changing yourself...I know I get depressed myself lately because my husband works full time and goes to school full-time (University of Phoenix) and I also work full time for a corporation. Make sure to try and do things for yourself! Is your family nearby- and are they close emotionaly speaking? Or do you have some girlfriends that you can kick back with? Try to start a once monthly Girl's Night Out- no guys or kids allowed! That's what my family does, the women in our family go out on the last Friday of the month and do something. We always go out to eat and we try to do something after dinner, whether it's a movie, or going mini-golfing ( 
hilarious mental image right now of MIL) or something. We always have a blast and once in a great while we will let the husbands go with us.
Try it! It's fun and you get to have adult conversation with someone else besides your husband! 
HEY...I wanna weigh myself in kg like socake!!! Sounds a lot less!!!!
I think one of the main things is that it seems like all of this is on my shoulders..........but I mean, he does work...a great job and he loves it!
Sometimes the smallest things can just set me off and my mood will change in just 1/100 of a second.
So, I guess I need to really concentrate on the weight right now...one thing at a time??? I think I would really be SO MUCH happier if the weight was gone. And, once I'm so happy...again........hopefully everything else will be ok then. I don't know why but for some reason things just make me want to give u pcompletely..........like when my 5 year old cries and cries because he couldn't find his shoes, but that was like 10 min. ago...he even has them on his feet and he's still crying. I'm just like UGH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why me?!?!?! But, I know children are children! While they're really not trying to drive you crazy, you still think they're doing it intentionally! LOL
I do think the weight is the main thing right now.....I'm kinda afraid of who I'll be when I lose this weight....I might be someone else?!!!
you might be a happier you....what's wrong with that??? Doing the weight loss thing will kinda also be a project...you know? When you have something to keep you busy, you seem to be less in a rutt. You'll be busy trying to find new recipes to try, new products to try, different type of exercices.
Can I suggest something?? How about a part/time job or a place you can volunteer at?? I know w/me I have to feel like I'm making a difference to somebody or something (outside of the family). That's probably why I have like 4jobs. But seriously making a difference (even if it's as simple as working in a library) makes you feel good. You become social and feel like your wanted, needed. 
Does that make sense?? That's mainly why I got into cake decorating. I should'nt tell ya, but I don't charge the full the amount for my cakes because the looks on their faces make me happy and that's payment in full for me. (I know I'm soft for an Aries 
) Nobody can make you happy but yourself!!! You'll make it. We all go through this kinda thing. I live w/a guy who never had children, lived w/his parents until 34yrs old and had all of the toys (jet ski, snomobile, bn truck) It was a HUGE adjustment for the both of us. I'm not dependent on anyone and I'm a single mom who lives for her son. He (bf) was a handful at first, but after 3yrs we've gotten better and we still have days where we question things, but lets face it, it could be worse. So hang in there it always gets better, Good luck on the weight loss. 
I wish I could do it too, but I like to eat too much. I work at a gym on the side but still like the food!!!
I agree a bit with bodaisy. After reading the rest of your responses, it sounds a bit like you need a change. I know you love your husband and your kids but it's so important to also do a few things for you. Don't lose who YOU are. What did you do before husband and kids? What are your interests? (besides baking and decorating, of course!) What made you happy? You may just need a couple of hours to yourself each day. I'm not sure if your kids are in school or not..
When you're the one tending to the kids all the time and the home, I'm sure it starts to weigh on you. You may be feeling a bit of resentment. Your husband gets to get away for a bit, you don't. It can build up.
Talk to him, maybe you can work something out? Maybe get a parttime job or volunteer somewhere like bodaisy said. I think as we get older and life continues to float on quickly, the need to feel like our life is meaningful increases. Focusing on your weight is a good start - maybe there's a local weight loss support group you can join? Or start?
Just throwing out ideas here...and rambling.
Oh and no real reason why I've been MIA except for LIFE calling. 2006 has been crazy and stressful thus far but finally a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm transitioning to a new job, dealing with leaving my current and all that comes with that and just other things outside of work. And fitting in cakes when I can. I also volunteer on the weekends. I come read when I can.
Quote by @%username% on %date%
%body%