Not to be like this guy in any way, but in reality, going all the way back when marriage was instituted, the GROOM has more input into how the wedding is to be and he is supposed to have the FINAL word. The wife is supposed to be submissive according to how the things were first instituted. Not to get all preachy or anything. . . 
Now just a minute. Just because the groom is saying what he wants does not mean he is controlling. Could be, but we can't assume that because a man has input in his wedding that he is controlling. Maybe he just knows what he wants.
I agree completely. I think it's just rare to see a groom, nowadays, that makes decisions about his wedding. I think you guys are just not accustomed to having the guy make the decisions and so you take it as controlling. IMHO.
love at first sight...
of course....
my own parents!
dad delivering heating oil...
mom sitting under an apple tree
"that's the women I'm going to marry"
58 years till death did them part
(and of course...their song --> don't sit under the apple tree)
-----------
in wedding
making cake
planning too???
OY -- sounds like you're auditioning for a superwoman award.
I can't imagine how high the stress could be day of trying to do all that.
I think also that some might be being alittle hard on the part of saying the guy is controlling. My husband went with me when we picked our invitations, the caterer, and also the cake. He did let me pick what I had wanted and said that he liked what I had picked but I also wanted him to be happy with what I had chosen. I think that it is great that the guy wants to be involved. I do find now a days that not alot of guys want to be involved and that is really unfortunate, especially since it is their special day also.
As for you doing both the cake and being a bridesmaid that I think would be completely do able. If you add in the planning part I think that you just could be putting alittle to much on your plate.
I would also wait and see if things do change in their relationship. It is over a year away and things really could change. Also, if they got engaged so quickly they just might bump up the date to be sooner and just might elope (I probably spelled that wrong, sorry) which means that you would not have to worry about any of this at all!!
The relationship could work great. My husband and I only dated for 2 months and in those 2 months the first month I was not sure I still wanted to date him. Really, in my own heart I wanted to be with him I guess you could say for a month. I said to him, "What would you say if I wanted to get married?" We had dated, engaged and married within 6 months and we will have our 9th anniversary in May with 2 lovely daughters. We did know eachother as friends and did things for about 6 months before we dated but the serious part was really quick.
Meet him first, you will never know, he just might be a nice guy!!
Good luck!!
P.S. Sorry that was so long!
First, as for the husband-to-be to have input in somthing that he will be part of, Why Not.? Now I think that it is all about the delivery. If you see that your friend is now acting different (not in love but different) you will know what I mean, than I might say something, just something for her to think about. The more you tell a person that someone isn't good fort hem the further they get from you and the closer they get to the other person. So I would be carefull on this one.
Now for the idea of being the bridesmaid and party planner and cake designer, I am no superwoman but I did this for my sister 3 years ago and to top it all off I was the maid of honor so I had all the parties to put together. Well, that being said I am a Virgo and all the Virgos I have ever meet we are picky, neat freaks and control NUTS!!! I love to have control over the situations, so when I got to a party I always ask do they need help and that is the way that I entertain myself at parties.. Funny huh.... So as long as you are organized (which I can take it to the next level- a little OCD if you ask me) than I Know that it can be done. Just be sure that you have people you can ask for help and don't be afraid to delegate if need be.
Now the last one, They just meet in person a month ago but you are not taking into consideration the time that they heave spent working on their relationship (on-line). I meet my husband in May, 1994 and by June we were living together April of 1995 we were married and in May, 1995 (two weeks after the wedding) my little pumpkin came into this world. We were engaged For my birthday in Sept, 1994 and found out that we were pregnant in Oct, 1994 We have had our ups and downs but I haven't met a couple that hasn't, but here it is 13 years and two kids - including my pumpkin - stilll going strong.
See this apple didn't fall to far from the tree. My parents met in March and by June they were married and three months later found out they were adding to the bunch. They have been married 26 years this June and they are doing great. My younger sis dated for 7 or 8 years than got married (the one I was superwoman for three years ago) and is now going through a nasty divorce. So I truely belive in love at first site and GROWING together as husband and wife. YOu have not met this person and you already feel that you don't like him, not good.. I think that you need to see what is so special in him, your friend surely does. So give him a chance and get to know him before you decide that you don't like him.
We are no one to judge. Only God can be our Judge.
That is my whole $5.00 worth. lololol
Sorry so long but had a lot to say. Hope that helps.
Vic
NZ, be for real, that's the stone age.
People are too quick to judge online marriage. The best marriage if seen has been the ones that meant on line or have been arranged.
My BIL has been married 8 times. The wife he has now he meant on line. They have been married for years now, this is the longest he's been married. The shortest was 2 weeks.
I dated my husband 4 months before we got married and that was 34 1/2 yrs ago. And, each day I love him more.
I think it's cute that the Groom wanted his imput on the wedding cake. Most men wouldn't be bothered.
I always thought if you are in the wedding and making the wedding cake you will miss out on some of the fun.
My son is getting married in July and he has been involved in every and I mean every decision. It has actually gotten a little annoying for me when I wanted to go ahead and buy something but his fiance said we had to ask him first. I have to say too that he is probably the least controlling man I have ever met. She is definitely the more aggressive person. But he is the better dresser, picks out things for the house...I guess he is the typical metro-sexual. Even though I raised him and he is my biological son, it is still is a little hard for me to get used to all his input in the wedding, LOL. Oh and I am doing the cake too. Guess we will see how that goes!!
Kristin
Not to be like this guy in any way, but in reality, going all the way back when marriage was instituted, the GROOM has more input into how the wedding is to be and he is supposed to have the FINAL word. The wife is supposed to be submissive according to how the things were first instituted. Not to get all preachy or anything. . .
Thankfully, we've come a long way since then!
I have to agree with you Ksimp6577, thankgoodness we have come along way from then. If not then I probably would have never gotten married!!
Not to be like this guy in any way, but in reality, going all the way back when marriage was instituted, the GROOM has more input into how the wedding is to be and he is supposed to have the FINAL word. The wife is supposed to be submissive according to how the things were first instituted. Not to get all preachy or anything. . .
Oh nglez09, you are so obviously not Jewish!!! 
I'm very happy that Judaism teaches that since G-d told Abraham to do everything that his wife told him, that this is the proper way for husbands to respond to their wives! Technically, according to Jewish law my husband can't even go out of town for work without my permission, and let me tell you after 3 trips out of the country in two months time, I told him he wasn't going anywhere for a while, and he informed his boss, too!
jelligirl, I think you should wait a while and just be a friend, and see what happens. Hopefully, it will be a wonderful story, like many in this thread. As for being the wedding planner, cake decorator and in the wedding, I think that is asking for major migraines! The wedding planner is so busy keeping everything on track that it would be hard to enjoy any part of this. Plus, if you tend to get tunnel vision as you work on a big project (like a wedding cake) you may forget to be calling every other vendor to make sure everything is going the way it's supposed to go. Just my two cents!
Kathi
i dont think there is anything wrong with the groom putting in his input. i see this alot during consultations. most of the brides are always asking for there opinion. and get a bit upset if they dont say anything, not mad upset but trying to coax something out.......
remember.....
''a man and a woman marry to become one, then they go on the honeymoon to see which one!!!''
a joke from a tv preacher and i will never forget it!
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