o.k. ladies and gentleman ... I'm faced with a very uncomfortable situation.

The other day the mother of one of my daughter's classmates called me to ask what she should do. Let me mention that the girls are in first grade. Her daughter came home the other day very upset because she feels that sometimes the other girls don't want to be her friend. At first I chalked it up to the fact that girls are emotional and the smallest things bother them, and told her it's probably a phase ...but over the last week I've been probing my daughter.... so I asked her why she thought that Carolina would feel others don't want to be her friend. So.... my daughter tells me very bluntly that Carolina picks her nose and eats her boogers and some of the girls don't like that ... my daughter as far as I know is not involved in the rejection. I also explained how sad the little girl is and that she should try to be extra nice.

I think I should tell her mom ... but what is a tactful way of doing this??

Oh this is a tough one. I guess I would try to tell the other mother the way I would want to be told. To me, it sounds like this little girl is maybe picking her nose because its a nervous habit. I know that sounds weird, but some kids suck their thumbs, bite nails, crack knuckles, etc. when they are nervous.
This may also sound strange, but the mom may feel better that its something she can control. If she can talk to her daughter about the nose picking, then maybe she can get it to stop. Unfortunately, with little kids sometimes there doesn't have to be a reason to get picked on, it just happens.I have a daughter in 2nd grade & they seem to go through phases about who they are friends with that week.
Maybe if you planned a playdate with your daughter & this little girl they can become friends & maybe she can make friends with the other girls too.
I hope it works out for her.

the little girl has come to my house several times ... the good thing is that my daughter does consider her a friend ...not a best friend...but a friend.... I guess that's why the mom felt comfortable calling me to ask ...lucky me!

Don't you just love these uncomfortable situations that always seem to arise I myself seem to get into them too often.

I think I would tell the mom: "

I feel a little akward telling you this, but Carolina seems to be picking her nose & thats why the other girls don't seem to want to play with her"

I think its very tactful & straightforward and then her mom can take it from there. I wish I had some sort of great wisdom to share with you, but on this subject my mind is drawing a blank.

I sympathize with both of you - you for having to break the nose, I mean, news , and the mom with the nose picker. I can be glib a bit, because my daughter has been one of those nose pickers. For her, it was simply a habit from boredome - she also has chewed her nails to nothing. Fortunately, she has outgrown both habits. Anyway, back to your question. I think you simply have to be blunt - with kindness. Just be upfront and honest. I like to use the 'sandwich effect". You start with something kind or positive, tell the truth and end it with something else positive about the girl. It often helps to share stories of other nose pickers, epsecially if any of your kids have done it. I am sure the mother is aware her daughter does this, but she might not know she's doing it at school. As a mom, I'd much rather know about something like this than be in the dark! You might not be her favorite person in the world (for a day or so anyway) for telling, but she DID ask. Good luck!!!

I would tell the Mom. It is something that she can chat about with her daughter and if it is not resolved, at least the child will be aware of what she is doing.
My daughter did this when she was about four and I was horrified! I couldn't believe that she could do something that nasty.. Picking the nose... that I guess, most kids do that at some time or the other.

But eating the boogers!
And my daughter is a dainty litle girl who washes her hands before and after eating, brushes thrice a day, enjoys playing dress-up. In short, a little princess! Luckily she grew out of the disgusting habit.

Karen

well at least ya'll don't have the BOY who picks it and wipes it on the wall!!! I was horrified when I got a call about this...I didn't know whether to laugh or cry!! I went ahead and cracked a grin then kind of chuckled .........but then a week later had to relive the whole thing over again when I pulled his bed out from the corner to clean behind and what did I see .........BOOGERS!! What scares me the most....is that one of the twins(yr & 1/2) seems to have a new obsession with his nose.........this is a hereditary disease I tell you (from their fathers side of course )


As embarrassing as it may be to tell or to have the mother hear....turth is she is the mother...the adult....she should be able to hear it laugh and then address it!!

Even more embarrassing my nieces son had ahabit of whipping it out and PEEING wherever the heck he was when the desire hit!

ok kayday...you beat me with that one!!!........Although my now 13 yr old used to pee in plants when he was 2!!! DIdn't matter who's house we were at!!!

In fact my grandmother got upset once because I killed an aloevera plant.............except I had to show her he peed in it!!!!!!!!

BOOGER...funny word. Makes me laugh just to read it.
Booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger Booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger Booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger Booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger Booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger Booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger Booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger Booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger Booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger Booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger Booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger Booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger booger

sharing with you guys here and having you add hummor to this sticky situation has definitely helped me deal with having to disscus this with the mom!

Just tell her and hopefully she would understand. If someone told me my dd did this, yeah sure I would be horrified but I would get over it. It is a kid thing and I would rather know so I can encourage her to stop the booger thing. It is just a fact of life in a kid's life.

Dale, You crack me up!! I was wondering how long it would take you to find this thread. It has all the makings for a good post.... eating boogers, boogers behind the bed, peeing in a plant - it just screams for you

we are a baking obsessed bunch what do you expect ...lol

I agree with everyone else here...you should tell her....you'd want to know and address it if the situation were reversed, right?

let us know how things turn out...good luck.

Kids can be so hurtful...but little girls seem especially horrible to each other. I can't believe that the little girl doesn't know why the kids are making fun of her. I would think that they would say mean things when she does it. I suspect that Mom & daughter really know what is going on. I wouldn't get in the middle.

o.k. guys after all the anguish I told the mom. She is aware that her daughter does that, and has even told her not to do it because other kids may not like her. I suggested waiting until she sees her doing it again and address it at that point. I think puting a consequence to the action might help the little girl put it together in her mind. The mom is not going to use my daughter's name ..but will tell her it was said by one of the kids. She was very appreciative of my honesty which made me feel better... we even joked about it a little which made the whole thing even less painful for me... lol